Melanie - posted on 08/22/2010 ( 44 moms have responded )
My fiance and I have fought almost nonstop since the birth of our daughter. I told him I think we need to go to a counselor together to work on our relationship. He doesn't help as much as I would like him to with our daughter, and when I ask him to take her for a little while so I can take a shower, he brings her into the bathroom and says I need to feed her because she's hungry, even when I fed her right before my shower! He's changed maybe 5 diapers, and she's over 2 months old. I get really frustrated with the way things get, and I tell him that if things don't straighten out soon, I will take her and leave. I don't know if maybe we should go to individual therapy as well as a family/relationship specialist. It just sucks when I have him here, but he doesn't spend any time with me when she's asleep. We only have time to talk and just hang out when she's asleep, but he always wants to play video games or play games on the computer. We have been watching more movies together, which is a start, but I just want someone to have an adult conversation with! Our sex life is virtually nonexistent. Prebaby it was all the time, but now it's a rare occurrence, mostly because of me. When he is in the mood, it's late and I just want to go to sleep. I've been spit-up on, peed on, and felt like a human milk machine. I just want some time for me to just relax, sometimes. However, when I am in the mood, he doesn't come to bed til 4-5 am. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. He looked me in the eye last night and asked me if the baby is his! It hurt so much, because I thought we had gotten over that. His family got it into his head while I was pregnant that she wasn't so now he has it stuck in his head... what if? I know she is, though. When she was born, everyone in his family said, "Oh, she looks just like Lee!" Almost as if it was some big surprise! And when we moved away to focus on us and our family, everyone put it back in his head that she's not his. All because I thought we needed to focus on our relationship, instead of having everyone telling us how to deal with our problems without knowing anything about them. I don't know what I'm really looking for here. I guess I need to vent, but I also need some minor advice. I know it is one-sided, because you don't know him or his side of things, but I just need to know what would you do in this situation with the information given? I'm at my wits end!