lesbian mother... how do i tell my little girl 'to be' that i like women?

Jackie - posted on 05/02/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i am expecting my first child on June 18th and a common thing I worry about is how to tell my daughter when she gets older that I like women? And Im unsure of what to say when she asks about her father, who never wanted to be around and who wants nothing to do with her. How do you explain such things to a growing and questionative mind?

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Danielle - posted on 05/02/2010

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When I was 4 or 5 I used to play with a little boy the same age as me, and he had two mothers, a lesbian couple. I vaguely remember them trying to explain their relationship to us...I remember them saying that they loved each other but we didn't understand. We thought they just meant they loved each like two friends love each other. They bought him a book about having two mommies and we all read it together. We understood it and he was completely fine with it.

Shenea - posted on 05/02/2010

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Just explain being a lesbian like you would explain to her people of different races. Everyone is different and no 2 people are the same. The world we live in now it is more common for children to be brought up in same sex couples. I think once she becomes really curious about it it will be that much more common. As for her father, be honest but not to the point she thinks he is a bad person. Let her get her own opinion of him. I would never talk bad about him to her, but be willing to give her the information you would want to know if it were your own father. I think the best thing we can do with our children in this day and age is to be open and honest.

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i really think you should wait till she is older to talk to her about everything. she will love you no matter what. if she asks about her dad at a young age just tell her its a hard subject to talk about she will understand. i hope you find this helpful.

Ashley - posted on 05/02/2010

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If I were in your shoes I would tell her that some women werent meant to be with a man, and it took past experiences to come to the conclusion! As for the father.... right now he may not want to be apart of the childs life but maybe one day down the road he will change his mind, if not just explain to her that her father and you were together and he didnt want children at the time so you both decided to not see each other and that is possibly the reason why he isnt around never blame it on yourself but dont speak bad about the man either because he might want to be in her life down the road and its not your place to make up your childs mind. If he is a dead beat dad then she will eventually catch on and see that he only wants to be there when its good for him. Hope everything goes well for you and your new addition on the way!

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