Letting your child cry it out or not??

Presley - posted on 02/02/2010 ( 109 moms have responded )

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I was wondering what does everyone think about letting your child cry themself to sleep at night?



My son is 5 months old and i have to rock him to sleep everynight. People keep telling me to let him cry it out as long as you know he his fed and his diaper is changed. Im not to sure how i feel about it, but if it will help my son to become independent and less of a brat when he gets older then i am up to try. Its just too hard...I want him to know his mommy is always there when he needs me.



So what is everyones thoughts??

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Kim - posted on 02/09/2010

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I say don't do it. People told me let my daughter cry it out, but it broke my heart to leave her in her crib cyring her little heart out. You can't spoil a child with love. Start a routine. Sing or read a book or whatever works for you and eventually that will signal to him that it's time to sleep. 5 months is waaay to young to worry about spoiling and he will crave being close to you for a while. Just take it step by step. 4 momnths ago I was right where you are. Now, I make a bottle, put my daughter in her bed and either sing or let the mobile play. I sit next to her bed and pat her, she falls asleep and I leave the room. Eventually it work out, just don't do anything that doesn't feel right to you.

Anitta - posted on 02/02/2010

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i had similar problems with my first and fifth and i didnt want them crying either. i figured out a little trick with no.5, i put a clean shirt over the shirt i was wearing, wear both shirts for an hour and take off the top shirt when it was baby bed time and put it in with bub. as long as she could smell me, she was happy to put herself to sleep. after a while she got used to not being rocked and i was able to put her to bed without the shirt.

Petra - posted on 02/10/2010

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Like so many others on this stream, I disagree with the CIO method. The idea that attending to your baby's needs (yes, physical contact with their mother and being comforted are most definitely needs) will spoil him is a little far fetched. An infant only a few months old can hardly manipulate their hands, they can not possibly grasp the concept of manipulating you. In soothing your child when he needs you to, you may in fact be nurturing a confident baby and reinforcing a sense of unconditional love that he will rely on. Getting a baby to abide by your schedule serves only your purposes - if you don't want to be inconvenienced by your child, then sure, give CIO a shot. But you may want to grab a few books and educate yourself on the subject so that you are at least making an informed choice.

Allison - posted on 02/09/2010

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I am having the same problem. My little guy is almost 4 months old and I still have to hold him to get him to sleep. Everyone tells me the same thing but it breaks my heart to hear him cry. I keep telling myself I need to do what people have told me but it's really hard. (Previous post)

Jessica,
Why must you do what people are telling you to do? YOU'RE the mother. You need to do what feels right to you. There is NO shame in holding your child to go to sleep. Unless it's something that you hate, why change it? Your li'l baby is still an infant. There's absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling your child to sleep. If you don't want to anymore, that's fine to change that too, but do it because it's what YOU want, not to make someone else happy. No one knows your baby like you do and not all babies are the exactly the same. As I said in my previous post, CIO may work well for some, but it isn't suited to ALL. I knew it went against everything that felt natural and right to me as a mother and I knew for sure it wouldn't work with my son's temperment. It is also recommended not to sleep train (CIO) until after they reach 6 months...

Ashley - posted on 02/09/2010

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The brat part is not true at ALL.. I became a counselor after graduate school to help people and I thought I would have a one up on raising babys.. Well, I had to learn it all for myself .. NO class or degree could have prepared me.. As I sat among other women still Me NOT doing to CIO method I wathced how fussy their kids became each day when it wasnt a part of the schedule or fearing they were going to be thrown back in the crib.. I knew each time a mom in my circle was begining this process.. It actually makes a kid more fussy from what I have researched on My own. I wrote to published articles about how it is not necessary and should never be done before 6-9 months if done at all.. He does need to know his Mommy is always there and I have a closer bond from what I see and what the other mothers see with My son.. His trust level stays the same and I am so sad to see this is the only way stay at home moms feel they can get their babies on a schedule. My Mom didnt do it with me and when i run it by a grandmother or Older mom they are floored thats what we have come too..

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Becky - posted on 03/10/2010

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I just sit with my baby, just so she can see me and she drifts of, may not be ideal for some people ut works for me, i am either silent or talk softly. My daughter likes to know im close and its no a problem for me as i can read a book e.c.t

LaCi - posted on 03/10/2010

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I did let my son cry a few nights, he was about 6 or 7 months old. I say a few times because after those few times he never had a problem with going to bed. It was an effective solution to a desperate situation. He slept well and all night from then until...



now at 20 months he refuses to sleep in his crib. He is attached to my hip and will only sleep with me. Which is a big pain. I'm working on getting him in his own bed but he screamed so much that he actually scared me, suddenly, about 2 months ago and he's been sleeping with me ever since. I think as the mom you know when the cry is serious or not. When he was a baby it was an angry cry of protest that passed quickly, now its almost a panic attack. You just have to make the distinction.

Laura - posted on 03/10/2010

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neglect haha! so your baby can never cry then? an average child spends 1-2 hours crying every day! FACT! kids thrive of routine so if they go to bed at the same time every night they know where they are in the day, wether they cry out or not 5 mins or not, crying is not neglect!

Trisha - posted on 02/28/2010

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He is only 5 months old. If he was 18 months old and still needing you to put him to bed like that, that would be one thing. Letting a child cry themselves to sleep is never a bad thing at an approapriate age and readiness. If you do not have the time to put into it anymore I would suggest letting him cry. But if you can still rock him to sleep I suggest keeping that bonding time between the two of you for a few more months. Also. making him more independant now will not make him less of a brat later. He will be who he will be. Also, from experience, independant children tend to think they don't need to listen all the time because they are so independant. Children need their parents. That is what we are here for and why we have children. To guide them, nurture them, and care for them. Trust your instincs on this one. I hope this helped.

Ashley - posted on 02/27/2010

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I didnt sleep the first year.. That was my sacrifice wth a child with acid reflux. I went every night with 3 hours of sleep a night.....it can be done

Ashley - posted on 02/27/2010

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Thats your opinion.. I have been a child psychotherapist for many years now working towards a Ph.d and I think the bonding you have with your child now can change and alter personalities throughout their life.. I was given the gift to bare a child so I will respond to his needs. Crying for long periods of times changes cortisol levels in the brain and can affect many things. Im sure your is very smart and attached and not fussy grumpy and needy but in many kids I have seen this is what is creates. That being sad its just my own belief... You have yours and I have mine.. I think it would be a different world if more people picked their kids up hugged them and didnt thinkit was spoiling them..I help raise my sisters twins while in grad school they are 9 and we never let them cio and they are far from brats or needy and yes they sleep through the night thus leaving us to sleep wonderfully..

Candee - posted on 02/26/2010

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Obviously every mom has there own opinion. And I feel as a motherI have no right to judge any other mother because being a mother is the hardest job in the world. With that said it is most definately the most rewarding. I have a four and a half month baby, about a month and half ago I woke up morning after being awake with my baby all night, I had maybe gotten a couple hours of sleep and this is the way it had been for a couple weeks. I knew I had to do something. I did A LOT of research asked several other mothers and I decided to let my baby cry it out. Was it fun? Absolutely not. Was it worth it? Most definately. I had gotten in the bad habit of letting him fall asleep while nursing and then I would quietly put him in his bed. Then every time he woke up he thought he needed to eat to go back to sleep, not because he was hungry he just had gotten used to that. So I started with his naps. I would go in every 5 minutes, then 10, then 15 etc. I would comfort him but NOT pick him up. Then I started at night. I started doing a bedtime routine where I would bath him, feed him, massage, pajamas then put him in his crib read him a story turn on music and leave. In a week he was putting himself right to sleep and sleeping 10-12 hours through the night. Do I think I emotionally damaged" or neglected my baby? I love my baby more than anything in the entire world. And in my own personal opinion I highly doubt any baby is going to get emotional damage from being taught to put themselves to sleep. You're going to have to teach them sometime and I would a lot rather do it while they're younger then when they are 2 years old crying "mommy why won't you come get me"
Babies are all about routine. It's up to you to determine their routine. If you want to rock them to bed, or take them for a car ride, or lay down with them until they fall asleep that's up to do. But don't start anything that you don't want to continue doing because babies get into those habits very easily.
So I let my baby cry-it-out: am I a bad mother? Does my baby not trust me? Is he emotionally damaged? NO!! I am teaching him healthy sleep habits and me and him are both ten times happier with a good nights rest...

Crystal - posted on 02/26/2010

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cry it out! its not going to hurt him to cry as long as you know he is only crying because he wants to be held or rocked to sleep. He is most def. not gonna hurt over it! thats how we get BRATS lol not saying that yours is a brat but you know what i mean....

Amber - posted on 02/26/2010

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Once i knew that my kids were fine, not hungry, dirty, nothing poking or uncomfortable etc then I would let them cry for a while. If they did not stop after a sufficent amount of time I would pat them or hum softly. I tried no to pick them up because then they get used to that but I would let them know that I was there.

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I had a really hard time letting my daughte cry it out and its even worse for my son cuse he has such a sad cry but they say if you always pick them up in the first 6 months of life and rarely let them cry they will be less needy in the last 6 months of the first year ..i dont know if that is true but my daughter bennifited from it and now and then i let my son cry for no more than 10-15 mins at a time.

Megan - posted on 02/26/2010

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I do not let my kids cry it out. Babies cry because they need something and I agree, being held and comforted is a need for a baby. In my opinion, letting a seven week old baby CIO is borderline neglect. Most experts agree that babies under six months of age should not be left to CIO. You only have to look at the children in Russian and Romanian orphanages to know that there can be long term emotional damage done by CIO. Those babies had all of their physical needs met, but their emotional ones were not fully met. There was a two hour documentary on PBS a few months ago that closely examined kids that were adopted from these countries and they have an extremely hard time bonding or relating to their families. Now I realize that there are other factors that play into those children's emotional state and I am not suggesting that your children will end up like that. For me, having my 3 year old crawl in bed once in a while or even several nights in a row if she needs it and snuggle is no big deal. I realize that as adults no one rocks you to sleep, but when did we start considering 3 and 4 year olds to be adults. It has been shown time and time again that babies who are comforted when they need it are more secure later in life. My 3 yo just yesterday said about 10:30 am, "mom, I think I need a nap" and she went and took a nap, all by herself. The is a great article title The Con of Crying It Out. Whether you believe in CIO out or not, I encourage you to read it, I feel you can never have too much knowledge under your belt as a mom. Some kids are naturally really great at falling asleep, other need more comfort.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/cons-of-c...
This is one of my all time favorite quotes:
Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Franz

Joanne - posted on 02/26/2010

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i think u have to go with u'r gut instinct on everything, if u don't feel good about it then don't do it, i rocked my first son to sleep until he was well over a year, i loved it, when i felt the time was right i put him into a bed and read him a story until he fell asleep, then when i felt the time was right i read him one story and let him fall asleep by himself, i have to say he is my easiest most layed back child, not a whiner or anything like that, it's not rocking u'r child to sleep that makes them spoilt, well not in my experience anyway ;)

Melissa - posted on 02/25/2010

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No way! Do not let your baby cry it out. Now, when he's 3 ask me again! Haha. But a 5 month old CAN NOT be spoiled. Besides you only get to rockabye him for a few more months. I never let my kids cry it out, and they are not spoiled brats. They're very comfortable sleeping through the night.

Brittanie - posted on 02/25/2010

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There is an actual "crying it out" method that doesn't just involve letting them cry themselves to sleep. What you do is let them cry for 5 min, then go in and pat thier back or whatever so they know you're still around and not abandoned, then you leave them for 10 min. Of course after you go in to show them you're still there they will cry louder when you leave but that's normal. then you wait another ten, and keep repeating process. That way they know it's bedtime and you are not rocking them to sleep but they also know that you are around and love them etc but won't be picking them up. I went through the same thing, i didn't want him to feel alone and I couldn't stand listening to him cry. I actually only did it for 2-3 min each time and he went to sleep before the 3rd trip in. Now, he's asleep within 2 min. He'll still cry but for less than 2 min

Liz - posted on 02/25/2010

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my son also has to be rocked to sleep. I personally am not an advocate of letting the baby cry himself to sleep. They are so little, and are used to seeing mommy or daddy, if they're crying and they aren't consoled, i can only think that they are wondering where is my mommy or daddy :( ? If he wakes up in the middle of the night- which he usually does, i will initially try and rub his head and back to see if he'll fall back asleep- also he loves the binky....if he doesnt fall back asleep, i rock with him in our comfy glider, and he goes right back down, i would rather be tired then to hear my little baby crying for me.

Alyssa - posted on 02/25/2010

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My lil'one is only 2 months old and doing wonderful. I didn't rock her from the beginning so there is no rocking at bedtime. As long as her tummy is full and diaper is changed she goes to sleep 90% of the time. The rest of the time she just needs something to keep her busy. I just give her a binky and she goes to sleep within 5 minutes.

Laci - posted on 02/24/2010

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I agree and disagree with most of these responses. My mother gave my great advice on this when my son was only 2 months old. He would not go to sleep unless he was held and rocked, and doing that for almost an hour 2-3 times a night was wearing me down. She told me that letting a baby cry is ok, but it depends on the cry. There are times when babies do cry, as they want you there, but if you give them a minute they will fall asleep on their own. If you want to try it, this is what i did:



-Feed baby and/or snuggle for as long as you want before bed

-make sure babies room is warm enough, and is a soft, relaxing environment

-put baby in crib

-kisses

-leave the room

-let baby cry for a few minutes, or until baby hits their 'panic' cry. whichever comes first

-go in, rub baby's back, talk, sing, reassure them

-when baby calms, kisses, leave the room.



I tried this, and it took a few tries but eventually my son went to sleep on his own, no crying. He is now almost 3, and goes to bed happy, and content. We have stuck with a routine, and found thats a major factor.



But it's like the other ladies said, do what feels right. I just know that i was getting too exhausted and was not a happy camper having less than 3 hours sleep everynight because my son needed to be comforted, but after trying my moms method i felt my son went to sleep knowing i was close, and knowing he was loved.

Laura - posted on 02/24/2010

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i did the cry out method when my daughter was 6 weeks and shes slept 12 hours every night since no problem im so glad i did it because she wakes up every mornin in a brilliant mood no stress happy mummy cause i also got sleep! shes 14 months now and fantastic at goin to bed us mums need to realx aswell not spend all night rockin our children to sleep!

Jessica - posted on 02/24/2010

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Oh I feel your pain! But there are medical reasons why you shouldn't let your son cry it out before 6 months of age. My pediatrition told us that until that point most children have a hard time self-soothing. Another reason is that the additional nutirition of night feedings is still necessary until the age of 6months. At that age we were given the go ahead to chose whatever method we wanted. Every check up, even now and her 15 month is next month, we discuss her sleeping patterns. I just didn't have the heart to try it until she was about 12 months old. That was when I felt she was capable of handling it.
So go with your gut...if your child (after 6 months of age) is ready for it, then use your mothering instinct. But if he isn't ready, then wait. He is only this little once and someday you'll miss the opportunity to spend that time with him.

Iza - posted on 02/18/2010

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i'm of the same mindset.. i want my child to know that i'm there for her and that she can rely on me for comfort.. i don't think that is "spoiling" her.. i do let her cry it out during the day when i know she's tired, but wants to play.. she usually only cries for 10 minutes or so.. but nighttime, i rock her to sleep.. too much crying makes her swallow air and makes her uncomfortable.. then she wakes up a couple hours later because of it.. i know this cuz i tried the method of just letting her cry at night like my mom and mother in law told me to, and when i'd pick her up she'd would always let out a loud belch or two and fall back asleep.. maybe that works for some babies, but not mine.. but maybe it'll work for my next.. i really don't think there's any one right way of doing it.. every child is different..

Kasta - posted on 02/17/2010

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I tried it and it ain't gonna happen. But, I nurse my son to sleep and has since he was born. I do it for every nap, bedtime, and through the night. I tried to let him cry it out, but it just did not work. Instead, I am getting to know him as a person and slowly he is cutting out his need to be nursed, rocked, or patted. Last night, he slept for 8 hours laying right next to me... and trust me, as a co-sleeping and breastfeeding mom, that is a miracle. This time is going to go so fast and I don't want to rush him into being independent, just confident. He will only be dependent on me for a few years, then it will be his friends, then girlfriends... he will have his group and I will be wondering why he's not visiting more and I'll be wondering where the time went. No way!! I am going to snuggle and pat and rock and kiss and let him know I am always here for him AND say "no" when he needs to hear it, possibly pat his butt if he deserves it and raise him to know that God(insert religion here) and Mommy & Daddy set the rules, not him. I think that is the best way to avoid having a brat.

Celeste - posted on 02/16/2010

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hey girl! i know exactly how you feel sweetie! i was there myself! my girl will be 7 months in a few days and i debated for a long time if i should let her cry herself to sleep or not, even the pediatrician told me i should. so i tried it when she was about 5 months and it didn't work for her she would cry n cry n cry for an hour n a half! it was really hard for me and i felt like the more i tried the more she fought me. but eventually it started to work once she learned to roll and became more independent playing by herslef on the floor, i noticed she was able to put herself to sleep for her naps. when i noticed she was sleepy (typically two hours after she ate) i'd lay her in her crib with her favorite teddy bear and cover her up with a blanket close the door, and let her fuss for about 10-15 minutes and she'd be out like a light. if she fussed more than that i'd come get her and let her play til she wore herself out then i'd try it again. i'm sure your familiar with your sons different cries and you'll be able to tell if he's scared being by himself or if he's just fussy cause he's tired. i too didn't want my daughter to feel scared or alone so i was hesitant too, but it will be a great burden lifted once you can get your son to comfort himself enough to go to sleep without you. if he has a favorite toy maybe you can leave that in the crub with him and that might make him feel better, or using a fan for some whitenoise.i hope this helps, and just remember all babies are different, do what you know will work best for your son.

Ange - posted on 02/15/2010

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Oooooh it's hard isnt it?!?!?!!!!!!!
Ok, here's what I do. I stand outside her door and listen to her cries. If it's serious then I go straight in, pick her up until she is calm and then as soon as she is calm then I pop her back down, put the dummy in, give her bunny & put on her music & walk straight out. I try not to talk etc... Then i stand at the door. If shes crying when i put her down i still walk out & listen to the cry again. if after 2 mins it isn't getting better I go in and repeat until her cry eventually starts to get better. I guess at the end of the day, if her cry is getting better I let her go. You'll start to be able to tell the cry that says MUM I REALLY NEED YOU from the I KINDA DONT WANT TO GO TO BED!!! I dont usually let her cry for more that 5 mins before going in because then you risk them getting themself all worked up and unable to calm down. Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2010

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It took me a year to finally let my little one cry out lol. I hated it when she cried when i put her down in her cot but when I realised the difference between crying and temper I finally put my foot down. It only took a week for her to get used to going to bed on her own and now she is no hassle at all. I still give her her bottle before bed but if she doesnt fall asleep then I just put her down and she sleeps all night.

Stephani - posted on 02/15/2010

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When my son was 6 months he would still wake up after every 2 hours so I started the cry it out method not really liking it but I was in need of some sleep!! I would check and make sure my baby was okay by making sure he was full before bed because by that age they should be able to sleep most of the night without eating! I would make sure his diaper was clean and that he wasn't to hot or cold and then I would lay him down in his crib and pat his back for a little bit until he stopped whining and started acting like he was going to fall asleep and then I would walk out and try to let him put himself to sleep but of course he didn't understand how to just yet so he would start to cry and I never let him cry for more than 5 minutes!! than after 5 minutes went by I and if he was still crying I would go back in and pat him for a little less than before and when he would calm down and start to act sleepy again I walked out again and he started crying again but after 2 nights of that he finally figured out that he can fall asleep without me! Now he is 18 months old and still sleeps all through the night no problem but he also knows his routine very well and he does not like it being messed with or he does have a little bit of a harder time falling asleep but still doesn't need me to rock him or go in there during the night!! And he always knows that I am there for him no matter what!! It might work for your little sweety but all baby's are different I just hope the best for you and your little one!!

Samantha - posted on 02/14/2010

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i think its stupid, but each to there own! i just think that i baby is a baby and needs their mummy and daddys around them even if it is just for comfort! it just depends weather or not u can stand them crying! good luck x

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The sooner you let him cry it out, the less time they cry, usually. I have three girls, 4 and 1/2, 3, and 19 months. If I'd rocked every one of them, I would accomplish nothing else with them. Raise children to eventually be adults. No one rocks me to sleep at night.

Sandra - posted on 02/14/2010

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I had 2 nights of letting my son cry it out, lasted about 15 min. each night then he was fine. Was hard dont get me wrong, i had to go outside and my husband had to stay outside his room. It did make it much easier after that however.

[deleted account]

Hiya
I felt the exact same way and was getting told the exact same thing; and I did not feel comfortable with it either; for some people it works and thats fine but I beleived there had to be another way! So one day; I made sure she was full, changed, and rocked her in my arms till she was drowsy, not asleep, wrap bubs (arms in or out depedning on what bubs likes); put in bed, tuck in, play soft music in back ground, and tap with your hand on thier tummy/back, let them look at you; my bubs mucked around for ten minutes the first time, then started sucking her hand and got drowsy and eventually off to sleep, i couldnt believe it, and with no tears! the first time took 20 odd minutes, but is getting quicker and quicker; and if she starts getting really upset i pick her up, settle her and start again (because sometimes she has a burp)
hope this helps; the plunket nurse said to give this method a couple of months before she will go down completely unadided; but i dont find this a bother as now she takes a few songs on the cd and is asleep;
i found everyone has a different take on the cry it out thing; but read your baby and what you feel comfy with and this will be the right thing for you both

Trina - posted on 02/13/2010

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You and me both Kimberly, but I don't like them because it truly upsets me to know people let their babies cry all night and not go to them. I'm not speaking in condemnation but just the fact that it hurts my poor mama heart to think of a little one who is left all alone.

Jessie - posted on 02/13/2010

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um, wow cry it out at some of these young ages? are you serious?! babies arent developmentally ready to sleep through the night until several months old. those that do are probably having their poor tummies filled with formula or some other garbage that doesnt digest well. seriously talk to a health care professional about nutritional/emotional needs in an infant. yes, we are tired our son wakes up every few hours (7 months old) sometimes he wants to nurse sometimes he just needs a change or a cuddle. don't be selfish take care of your babies needs!

Laura - posted on 02/13/2010

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I just wanted to add on to my post from earlier. I truly believe that all babies cry for a reason. My daughter was crying I went in there and she was sweating so bad. She was too hot under the covers and she was just trying to tell me. How can you ignore that?

Kerry - posted on 02/13/2010

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i dont let m 9 month old cry it out at night because i try and make it as calm as possible so the dont fall 2 sleep all worked up. if dylan has a paddy during the day then yeh i let him cry it out u need 2 let them no that your there but u r in charge

Amanda - posted on 02/13/2010

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it's hard but yes your son needs to learn how to sooth himself to sleep. if he dosen't learn now it will be harder later on. my sister gave her two daughters 15mins to cry it out before she went to them. usually they were able to sooth themselves by a lil over mid way of her time limit to let them cry.

Sam - posted on 02/13/2010

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I feel 5 months is too early for cry it out I did it for my son when he was 1 he just all of a sudden stopped sleeping it only took 2 nights at less then 5mins each night. I found the thing that helped the most was knowing when he was tired and putting him down then, also he has a farely strict 7-7.30 bedtime that wasy his body knows when it is sleep time. My mother did control crying for my youngest brother when he was 3mths old. It may not make you feel too mena towards him.

Cassandra - posted on 02/13/2010

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I never let my son ever cry it out, i either rocked him intill he was ready to fall asleep, he cried for about 5 mins and went to sleep, when i could not do that anymore, I gave him one book or one toy, and he understood as long as he played quietly in bed he could have it, he played for about 20 mins and went to bed. :) Give him something he likes to look at. i could not stand him crying it out, These are some things that worked for me, Good luck! :)

Trina - posted on 02/12/2010

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How do you really know though? Do you ever wonder how it feels to be left alone in a cold crib crying when you are that small? I bet it is really frightening. I was raised being told babies could be spoiled...which was so stupid...and that it was ok to let a little one cry it out. The biggest life changing moment for me was having someone to honestly tell me that you can never spoil and baby and his wants are his needs. I am so thankful to that lady for being honest with me and helping me to see the truth. Besides....I don't believe in wasting babies. I love babies...if I hear them crying I pick them up and love on them because mine are big now. When your kids are like 8 or nine and you don't have anymore little ones you start to realize how precious and sweet those late night snuggles are . I feel so privileged to have had the honor to be a mother and get to wake up at night with my babies. I am not trying to be critical of anyone here, because I used to think the same things about a baby needing to self soothe, but it isn't true. I just want to spare some of you ladies the heartache I have had and tell you to cherish your kids when they are babies because they are going to have the rest of their lives to learn independence. Believe me, they grow up way too fast!!! ezzoinfo.net

Kristen - posted on 02/12/2010

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i started to let my daughter cry her self to sleep at 4 months. i would start with 15 min. of crying then go in hold her for a few then put her down again. when they get tired enough they will fall asleep. u know when it is a hurt cry or not.

Cherity - posted on 02/12/2010

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we have a 2 month old and he just randomly cries for no reason. like he will just be fed, burped and changed, loved and played with then he will go to sleep and we will put him down for 2 mins then he will start his crying...my husband had to talk me through it but we just let him cry it out most of the time. you can still go get him if you absolutely can't handle it, but the best thing to do is let him cry or else he will start thinking that everytime he cries mommy will come running and no one wants a spoiled baby right?

Azza Jamila - posted on 02/12/2010

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I do not ever let my son cry it out. Even until now. A child cries when he needs something, a diaper change, feeding, or even your touch. When he keeps on crying, he'll just know remember his need and will not stop.

Yet I do not rock him to sleep. My son is the kind of baby falls asleep by himself. Maybe I was simply lucky or maybe it's because that since he was born I trained him to sleep on his own. He just wants my hand on his tummy before he sleep.

CJ - posted on 02/12/2010

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My daughter was still having trouble sleeping in her own bed up until she was 10 months old. Her doctor told me if I didn't let her cry it out and learn to sel-sooth, I'd end up with her still crawling into bed with me at 3 and 4, and that it just gets harder to get them to learn self-soothing the longer you wait. She also told me that you can go in and comfort them periodicly, lay them back down if they've gotten up, but the key is don't pick them up. My daughter now goes to bed most nights without fussing, and sleeps through the night (except when she's got a tooth coming through, but that's a different matter) She actually started going to sleep on her own much quicker than I expected. The Doctor said it could take anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks, but if you give in even one night, it takes you back days in the process (trust me, it makes it harder if you give in) Som nights when she's having an especially tough time falling asleep on her own, I'll sit in the room with her with a small lamp on and read my book, just my presence, even silent and not directing attention towards her, not even touching or looking at her, helps her feel more secure.

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2010

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I let my first son cry it out a little after practically being bullied into it by his pediatrician. He is 5 years old and I still have guilt over it even though it didn't last long! Our second baby co-slept till he wanted to be alone at 5 months. After that he was still up 4 or 5 times a night to nurse. At his 9 month check up the lactation consultant told me if I fed him more solids during the day he would sleep better at night. It turns out he was just really hungry (even though I had enough milk) and he started eating a lot of solids and still nursing. This did the trick and he sleeps most night all the way through w/out needing me. When they are teething though they usually need more comfort. You have to listen to what your intsincts tell you! We all have them whether we have 1 child or 5!

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2010

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The CIO method "works" if your baby eventually falls asleep. That is either from sheer exhaustion or bc they have given up on Mommy or Daddy coming to their aid. In either case, MANY experts and Mommies agree: CIO does long term damage to the natural bond between mother and child. Babies have more needs than just food and a diaper! They need to be lovingly nurtured and cared for. They are babies for such a short time and before you know it they want very little cuddling and just want to run around and explore.

Laura - posted on 02/11/2010

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I am a firm believer in swaddling your baby. I would put my son in the swaddler and he would fall right asleep. (My son also had really bad reflux. When he cried it was usually because he need me for something, like he had puked all over him self or sometime he had peed through his diaper. I also went to him when he cried, it usually meant something was wrong! )But when he was 4 months old he out grew the swaddler. His grandmother kept him during the day while I worked full time and she then started rocking him to sleep. At first I was upset because I didn't want to have to continue to rock him once I got home. But I didn't mind it! It only would take 15 minutes or so, and since I didn't see him all day it was our "mommy and baby" time. Sometimes I would keep rocking him a few extra minutes just for me even though he was asleep! Shortly after his 1st birthday he wanted to sleep in his "big boy" bed. He didn't want to be rocked. I let him! I just couldn't let him cry it out. It would break my heart to hear him crying for me! He will be 2 in May and sleeps in his own bed. But he knows if he needs me I will be there!

Nicole - posted on 02/10/2010

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I had the same problem with my daughter who is now 14 months old. I thought that letting her cry it out was so mean and she would think I didn't love her. Finally,when she was 9 months, I got sick of getting up every 2 hours to give her a bottle of water and let her cry it out. It really worked!!! She sleeps so much better now.

[deleted account]

Do what you feel is best!

I have friends that CIO and they swear by it. Personally our DD co-sleeps still at 1 year and we couldn't imagine it being any different. It's a personal choice how you put baby to sleep and rocking them to sleep or co-sleeping will not make them dependent on you. I co-slept with my parents and I'm not still sleeping with them!

Jessica - posted on 02/10/2010

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That makes complete sense Trina. I just thought maybe I was doing something wrong because people kept telling me that I needed to just let him cry but I really hate doing that.

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