Lonely Mom

Tabitha - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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What is your social life like now that you are a mom? I have NO friends. I had my first baby at 17, and me and my friends grew apart because we had nothing in common anymore...They were out having fun, and I was at home being a mom. In 6 almost 7 years, it's just me and my kids...I get very nervous when I meet new ppl, like I just want to go run away and hide. I dont know how to even relate to other ppl because it's been so long since I've done that...How do you think I can get over this? I'm I the loneliest mom in the world?? Can someone, anyone relate???

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Tapajyoti - posted on 10/14/2013

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whenever you get nervousness, dont..keep your confident down, keep your eye contact proper,,you will see you will never feel nervousness

Cortnie - posted on 08/07/2009

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Just about every mother stuggles with this. It is hard to have a baby so young and keep your same friends. Your right, there isn't a lot in common with those people any more. But at the same time, there are many young women out there that can relate to you. By becoming part of this motherhood community is the first step towards a new social life. You MUST take time for your self though. Get a baby sitter and go see a movie or go to a cafe or (as long as your 21) go to the bar friday night and sit and enjoy the karaoke and meet new people. I know it is easier said than done. But lonelyness sucks. You can do it. Keep your head up.

Ashanti - posted on 08/07/2009

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I can understand totaly where ur coming from, i feel the same at times. I had my daughter at 17 also and my friendships/social went down hill, i lost alot of friends from secondary school (but i guess it showed me who were true friends)

What i have learned it is very hard to make new friends as we have got stuck in a motherly/housewife routine, so it is a bit hard to get out of.

Angie - posted on 08/07/2009

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TABITHA you are not alone!!! I have felt the same way!!! Sometimes the only thing going on in my life is my daughter...that is pretty much all I talk about and I garauntee many people get annoyed. Do you have hobbies? Do you attend any organizations like church/ clubs? Does your husband/boyfriend work with anyone that has wives/girlfriends that are the same way? Try to invite them over for dinner...Also if you are close to like a YMCA join the classes...for mom's usually.(they usually have staff that would look after your kids...usually called the drop-in)

I do get nervous when I'm around other people...I used to be a very social person...and I have a hard time starting conversations with other people. I've become a hermit!

I wish you luck and never think your alone!!!!!!!!!

Leah - posted on 08/07/2009

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it sounds like we all struggle at times to make quality friends. I think having kids actaully helps you. Going to the park or a kids museum helps you get around other moms so you feel less alone. If you go often maybe you will get to know some of the moms and eventaully strike up converstaions? It always seems like all the moms know eachother and are super close but just jump in there and compliment a childs outfit or a stroller and get the moms talking. Moms always love to talk about their kids and their kids accessories:) god luck and know that you are not alone:)

Danielle - posted on 08/07/2009

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I feel the same as well. I don't have many friends that have small children. The friends that I do have don't have any children and I am so embarassed to take my kids around their homes because they always act up and get into everything there. When I do meet a new person I am so nervous. I have went to get togethers and weddings and i always sit by myself with my baby because I don't know how to interact. Before children I was able to jump into any situation and live it up. Why does this happen? I think that alot of MY problem is that I am not confident in myself.

Jeanine - posted on 08/07/2009

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I totally understand .. More than you know .. I have lost touch with most of my friends just because of lives have taken different directions they are 25 and doing their thing .being young , having fun dating .. etc ... While im home with 2 kids under 5 .... I barely talk to anyone anymore, I have a spouse but he is away in the military , he has been gone almost 8 months now , my youngest is 10 months old....I know exactly what your talking about not knowing how to interact with adults anymore , i get nervous i dunno just anxious like i dont know what iam doing anymore . It really distressing and frustrating... I just find it very hard to associate with others anymore in a social environment because im not used to it anymore !!!! I have no solution or advice for you . but your not alone ...im the EXACT same way . Its very very lonely

Michelle - posted on 08/07/2009

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I spend most days alone with my baby, i ahve a few good friends that have stuck by me but i dont see them as much as id like as there off doing there own things. Ive recently started working 2 days a week for a few hours and i feel like i have a new liece of life. Its made such a difference to get out there and have adult conversation again and i can feel my confidence coming back. Mother and baby groups are good places to go to aswell, everybody is in the same boat as you and nobody judges, i reccomend them to anyone.

Miriam - posted on 08/07/2009

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I can totally relate. I've got 2 kids. I want to go to playgroup so my son can meet other kids but then just feel like I'm going to be the odd one out and have no1 talk to me.
I only know one other mum, but she's a party girl so I barely see her. The last time was over 2 months ago now.
I only really have one friend that I try and see regularly, and that's just plain luck that she wants to make the time to come and visit me and my kids.
I've tried coffee groups but it either doesnt last or one time had the woman who ran it make excuses after excuses about it not being on.

Kylie - posted on 08/06/2009

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I see you live in Florence! thats the one place i really desperately want to travel to. I'm in Australia but if you need someone to chat to you can send me a friend request on FB if you like.

Kylie - posted on 08/06/2009

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Yes i can relate! after my first daughter i felt so out of touch with adults, i felt anxious and nervous when i went to mum's group and gymbaroo because i wanted mums to like me and my daughter but i didn't know how to break the ice and come out of my shell. I saw other mums chatting and laughing and organizing to get together and i thought whats wrong with me where are my mum friends? It became a really big issue and my husband couldn't understand..he kept saying just talk to them, be yourself, if they don't accept you for who are then they are not worth getting to know. i got to a point about 2 years after my daughters birth where i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I did counseling and went on anti-d's for a year and everything changed. I stopped worrying, judging myself and over thinking and when i was not even trying or thinking about it i was able to talk to mums and find a few women who were just like me, i also reconnected with my cousins who are mums. i think have a good balance now..i love being with my children but its to get together with other women every now and then and have adult conversations. Sorry I'm not much help just wanted to share my experience.

Kylie - posted on 08/06/2009

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Yes i can relate! after my first daughter i felt so out of touch with adults, i felt anxious and nervous when i went to mum's group and gymbaroo because i wanted mums to like me and my daughter but i didn't know how to break the ice and come out of my shell. I saw other mums chatting and laughing and organizing to get together and i thought whats wrong with me where are my mum friends? It became a really big issue and my husband couldn't understand..he kept saying just talk to them, be yourself, if they don't accept you for who are then they are not worth getting to know. i got to a point about 2 years after my daughters birth where i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I did counseling and went on anti-d's for a year and everything changed. I stopped worrying, judging myself and over thinking and when i was not even trying or thinking about it i was able to talk to mums and find a few women who were just like me, i also reconnected with my cousins who are mums. i think have a good balance now..i love being with my children but its to get together with other women every now and then and have adult conversations. Sorry I'm not much help just wanted to share my experience.

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