low sex drive help !!!!

Helen - posted on 10/07/2009 ( 91 moms have responded )

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iave 4 children 5yr 3yr nearly 2yr an nearly 1yr ive now got a rewally low /non existent sex drive my partner thinks its him but i just dont want it at all please help if any body has ad the same prob ideas ???

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Lyn - posted on 10/09/2009

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My moms advice to me was remind your hubby that sex starts in the kitchen...meaning as our lives get crazy with babies and homes, when the men in our lives do things like load the dishwasher, fold laundry, make supper, it may be the best foreplay for us stressed out moms! I personally found getting out and exercising made all the difference for me!

[deleted account]

The best thing my husband and i ever did was for one week (true story) every night after the kids went to bed a 4 yr old and a one yr old, we would sit and talk for about five minutes and then we would make out like we were in highschool for like 5-10 minutes and call it good. crawl into the covers and go to bed. no pressure for the full meal deal or whatever. just kissing. but by the end of the week i swear i could not wait to put the kids to bed and just be with him. the no pressure tactic along with the intimacy of kissing him like we used to without kids was awesome! after that if i am not feeling to hot i just kiss him call it a night and then see how it goes the next couple of nights but so far so good! makes me feel wanted, hot, and not so much in mommy mode!

BethAnn - posted on 10/08/2009

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may sound crazy to you but going out WITH OUT my hubby to a bar or club once a month helped me sooooo much!...i was ALWAYS FAITHFUL but getting hit on and complimented by other men made me feel AWESOME to say "sorry boys, Im married" i would come home and boink my hubbys brains out! lol. my hubby admits it and is comfy with it, its not that i dont love it when HE says how sexy I am, it's more of a confirmation when a stranger says it.

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Leah - posted on 10/14/2012

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From my experience, I think that we as women have to feel sexy within ourselves, in order to get into the mood. Life is too short to continue to put romance on hold. I take myself for example. I am 32yr old Mother of 3 Children ages 12, 6, and 4. After I had my children I became this person who completely let my family and children consume me. Nothing is wrong with that, but sometime as Mothers we are concerned more with others and forget about ourselves. Before the kids, I was a women who would go out every weekend and do something nice for myself. Or just go for a walk around the park. But now I go to work, attend to my family needs, and that about it. Since the children, my sex drive had changed from at least 3 times a week to once a month. My husband and I.... well our work schedules are so conflicting we barley see each other. The children are always home, and we have been living on a strict budget, so going out for dinner has not been in our up coming plans. Last night I got fed up and started thinking about our love life and what I could do to make sure we have our quality time. I started out by fixing my children an early dinner and sending them to bed early. I explained to them that Daddy and I were going to have quality time together meaning.... no interruptions. Last night I cooked a nice restaurant style dinner for my husband. For the appetizer I served Bacon and Cheese Potatoes Wedges. Entrée: Baked Orange &Lemon glazed Tilapia over a bed of Brown Rice, and Steamed Vegetables. When my husband came home, I had the walkway to the living room lit with candles. I used our ottoman for our table setting. I had it set up like a dinner table with 2 long stem candles, the table was set with silverware , 2 champagne glasses and a flower center piece. I had slow romantic music playing to set the mood. The reaction on his face was priceless. He felt so appreciated and loved. He had a rough day at work, and when he came home, it made all the stress go away. As for me….I felt good inside. I felt beautiful. My confidence grew more inside knowing that I pleased my husband. Over dinner we talked, looked at each other, laughed together. We even slow danced together, right in the center of our living room. It was so romantic, it felt like our first date. That put the both of us in the mood. Maybe someone will be inspired to try something like this to help spice up their relationship. It Works!

Melissa - posted on 10/14/2009

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Hi, I am 29 yo mother of two little girls under 3.
I got made fun of in another post similar to this that I answered... but it really works.
I was having the same thing. My husband wanted it all the time, but I had no desire to have sex. It was making me depressed and my husband sad too. I started just praying about it. Asking God to give me that desire for my husband again. It worked! I know some don't believe in prayer, thats ok. they are entitled to believe in whatever. But I am telling you.. praying worked for me!

Ashley - posted on 10/13/2009

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Don't worry....a lot of moms hold most of the responsibility and let's be honest whether it is one child or ten we get tired and exhausted. I know at first after my second child was born everything was all find and dandy....but then about a month after we were permitted to have sex I had another scare that I was pregnant again and my two were already 13 months apart. That turned my sex drive down, but not only that I was just worn out completely so sex what used to be great, fun, exciting.....oh god did I really have to do it lol. It really is normal so I wouldn't get too worried because it will return your body and mind are just still getting back into sync give it some more time. Hope that helps.

Ellie - posted on 10/13/2009

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something i'm also noticing to be common is moms who had emergency csections (i did, 2 days after being induced...don't get me started on that fiasco) have depression and/or feel "ugly" because of what has happened to their bodies. my scar still bothers me, even though i know it's there for a good reason. after birth, mothers who breastfeed still don't have their bodies 100% to themselves, which could also contribute to a lack of sex drive. i tried, and failed, which just added to the depression, and pile me being bipolar and off of medication for over a year...i was a mess. but i realized this wasn't how i wanted to live, and i took action. i started a diet that i could be realistic about, did yoga at home, set aside time for myself to read or sleep or listen to music, got back on meds, talked to other moms, and i found myself in a place where i'm happy. i feel *great* about the way i look (even with the csection squish), balanced in my small routines yet still spontaneous and flexible, and it's mainly because that's what i decided. 10-1, if you're having a problem, other moms are having it too. talking to people helps, but in the end you're the one who has to make a plan for yourself as to what you want, how you're going to get it, and then go do it.

Brandie - posted on 10/13/2009

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yes it happens, I think that we are just so busy raising the kids and stressed out we just really don't think about it like they do. They do not have to deal with the kids as often as we do. Also when the kids are home I really don't want to cause they are getting older. I love my husband but I seem to have the same problem.

Cassie - posted on 10/13/2009

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I am sure this sounds really corney...

my advice is to change things up a little bit with your partner... make it fun... try just randomly doing something... no notice allowed... put on something that makes you feel good about yourself... you dont have to be skin and bones to look good esp to your significant other...

maybe try doing it for him and not for yourself and that i have hurd makes women feel much better... pleasing him ...

just a thought

Ellie - posted on 10/13/2009

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Quoting Helen:

HI HUN I DO ALL OF WAT U SAID DIDNT STRAIGHT AFTER THE BIRTH OF ALL OF THEM U KNOW HOW IT IS BUT NOW MY LIL ONE IS NEARLY ONE IVE GOT BK TO BEIN ME IVE NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE WIV OUT MAKE UP never LOL LOST MY BABY WEIGHT AN ALWAYS PAINT MY NAILS AN GO HAIR DRESSERS ECT IVE ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME SO I DONT THINK THATS THE REASON COS IM HAPPY WITH MY APPEARANCE AN FASHION SENSE ECT AVE U HAD THIS PROB ? SORRY FOR BEIN NOSEY



i think your problem may be just that then: you said you've always been the same.  just because you always wear makeup and always wear pretty clothes and always get your hair done and always do your nails doesn't mean that you'll always feel sexy.  in all honesty, i feel the most sexy after a long day working in the yard and i'm covered in dirt and sweat, or a very intense yoga session.  excercise is the common link in those cases, which we know releases the goodies (endorphins) in our brains that make us feel happy.  also, doing something we enjoy emotionally releases dopamine, which in turn increases pleasure in activities.  maybe you should try something new and exciting.  if you've always wanted to go skydiving, you can tell your partner that it's for the sake of your sex drive...

Ellie - posted on 10/13/2009

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when i heard the implant was a "procedure" i stiffened up too. i have the Mirena (t-shaped plastic IUD that lasts 5 years), and i have a friend who has the equivalent but it lasts 10 years and has copper wire around it (no hormones this way). yes, the insertion did hurt (especially for me, because the first try the darn thing popped out). but honestly, it's worth it. labor and my eventual c-section hurt a heckuva lot more than getting a little plastic thing that will make sure i don't have to experience that pain for at most another 4 years. i do have to laugh about it though: the doc who did it talked me through the steps, and i nearly lost it when she said she had to "clamp down my uterus so it didn't move." i thought, "what, is it gonna run away, it hurts that much?!" but seriously, it is definitely worth it ESPECIALLY if your insurance covers it.

Lacy - posted on 10/13/2009

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My kids are 6,4 and 2. I have the same prob. And my husband just dosent get it. I keep telling him that it isnt him. It is hard to be everything 4 everybody and then u have less and less time 4 us. And when u pack on 50 lbs it dosent help.

Leyda - posted on 10/13/2009

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HEY ASHLEY SINCE U FORGET YOUR PILL AND DONT LIKE SHOTS WHY DON T YOU LOOK INTO THE MIRENA IT LAST FOR UP TO 5YEARS AND YOU CAN GET IT REMOVED WHENEVER YOU WANT IF YOU DECIDE TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY BEFORE THE 5YRS ITS A LLITTLE PLASTIC THINGY THAT LOOKS LIKE A T THEY PLACE IT VAGINALLY INTO UR OVARIES IT DOESNT HURT SOME WOMEN EXPERIENCE A LITTLE CRAMPNG BUT IT'S NOT BAD. I GOT IT ON SINCE IM NOT TO GOOD WITHN PILLS MYSELF AND THE DEPO SHOT MADE ME PUT ON WEIGHT LOOK INTO IT MAYBE THIS COULD BE A SOLUTION AND YOU CAN ONCE AGAIN BE INTIMATE WITH YOUR PARTNER:)

Shannon - posted on 10/13/2009

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Hi I'm 30 and had a baby girl 2 months ago, I avoided my husband for a while and he thought it was him, I found that sitting down with him over a coffee and explaining that I felt horrible and was ashamed of the way I looked actually helped (I have severe weakened stomach muscles that doesn't look attractive), he was so supportive and started to just do little things that helped me, one good thing is the first couple of times, have the light off :)

Elizabeth - posted on 10/12/2009

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my son is 3 months and i don't really have a sex drive yet. My boyfiend is a little upset by it but I can't seem to get in the mood. I think its because I don't really feel "sexy" anymore seens how i am 30lbs heavier then i was before i got pregnant. and the fact that 24/7 i am carring for an infant, nursing and changing poopy diapers and spit up all over me. I find that I am not in the mood. I have been leaving my son with his grandma so that me and his dad at least have a little alone time together were we take a bath and relax and it makes me feel closer to him so eventually i'm sure i will want sex again but right now i just have to take care of me. And that's what you should do, take time away from the kids with just you and your partner. relax together and spend alone time together and maybe soon it will return! :) sorry for babbling

Claire - posted on 10/12/2009

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me and my husband have sex once a month, not because i dont like my body because i am frightened incase our son wakes up and he feels the same. we do sit and cuddle and kiss but with our son sitting between us we can only actually have a passionate night without our son in the house. this is what could be worrying you, you cant necesarily put a lock on your bedroom door though so a child could walk in. if it is not this, then i suggest a laungere shopping spree might help this is what i do when i dont feel sexy or feel as though i deserve to be. after having children your body does change and only you notice the change so try and remember that if your husband doesnt mention or tell you abou the changes then only you can see it, because every woman knows every mark and crese in there body and any slight change we see them.

Stephanie - posted on 10/12/2009

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Hey my son is 18 months. I'm only 21 and was feeling like i was 60. Only in the past month have things picked up in that department. Its not that i felt ugly or unwilling. My mind wanted to but physically..nothing. I pushed myself to have sex at least 3 times a week, once i got into it i was fine. Getting started was the hard part. My husband is really understanding and i never felt pressured. Now I'm the one on his case for more! This sounds harsh but it worked for me. Everyone's different. We were only having sex like once a month (poor hubby), But i'm making up for it now.

I hope you start feeling better soon, i know how frustrating it is.

Dossie - posted on 10/12/2009

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I think you have somewhere in your Mom status, you have lost yourself! Do you and your partner have a date night? My husband and I have mandatory bed time for our three kids. Schedules are great and the bed time allows us to have US time which is much needed. We found ourselves in a simular situation, so we sat down and made descisions on how to correct the problem. Our biggest issue was the kids ran us ragged .15 hours out of the day and we were just exhausted. We have a set date night, where he and I go out for what ever we are in the mood for. We don't think about daily life, kids, bills or anything just about eachother. It's like when we were dating all over again...pretty soon the old fire is burning and we are happy and feeling reconnected. Or it just maybe that you are exhausted and need a short break...a weekend retreat with no one byt you. I hope I have helpped!

Jessica - posted on 10/11/2009

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I've been having a low sex drive too, we have a 13mo son. For me, oddly enough, once we are actually having sex I'm more into it. Then I want it more often, the more we do it. Making out also helps a bunch, it gets me into the mood.

The shot is HORRIBLE!! I don't mind shots, but it made me gain 10 lbs, I bled for like 70 days after getting it, & it gave me restless leg syndrome. There also research that shows that the shot interferes w/ calcium absorption, not good especially if osteoporosis runs in your family. Hubby & I are just using condoms for now, I'm considering getting Mirena (IUC) but I'm nervous about it. I've heard horror stories about embedded IUD's & scarring they can cause which can make conceiving more difficult...I know that it's rare, but w/ my luck it'd happen to me. Since I'm only 23 & want at least one more kid down the road, I don't want to have to struggle w/ it.

Sarah - posted on 10/11/2009

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Hi Helen......I'm not sure if anyone really has a "cure" for this, but after I had my first, I was only 18 and before that had never had any problems even close to this, but after she was born I went for the next two years with zero sex drive and there was nothing I could do about it! My mum told me she had gone through the same thing and gave me the only advice she could at the time and that was that sometimes, you have to make yourself want to do it! Obviously the conditions have to be optimal otherwise there is just no chance, but if you both work together and make a big effort and not too often you'll start to want it again. You have to almost retrain your body to react the way it used to, to positive conditions. You may have to explain to your partner, although they sometimes don't fully understand, a "quickie" won't help the situation, it's a process and you both have to make it work. Baby sitter, romantic music, strawberries and cream......and lots and lots of foreplay! ha ha ha, sorry I had no quick fix for you, but I went through the process as above and now, i'm just fine and everything works and responds exactly the way it should. Don't give up......just be determined!

[deleted account]

Ladies don't forget that men need sex like we need talk and cuddling! We want our men to be happy. I think it is important to have sex with your spouse even if your not in the mood.It helps them feel like they are loved and sometimes you may be surprised and enjoy it even though you weren't in the mood. I'm not trying to be rude or anything but sometimes it helps to look at it from the other persons perspective.

[deleted account]

I have four children also (ages 9, 7, 5, & 2). I also have a low sex drive. It is more related to the anti-depressant that I take (for my depression), but fatigue and tiredness tends to make things worse. I take ginko biloba and that seems to help some. Spending time with your partner is important and taking care of yourself. Besides your looks it is important to do things that you enjoy.
Sometimes there can be medical reasons that cause that problem. Depression can cause low sex drive and I'm sure there are other things. I hope you can figure out what to do!

Krystal - posted on 10/11/2009

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Quoting Emily :



Quoting Ashley:

I was thinking of getting a IUD put in but when she told me it would be a procedure it sounded to painful I said no. lol I have to think of something because I know my husband is feeling bad about himself thinking its him but its really not im just so young and scared to have another baby. The next baby we have I want us to be trying to concieve and im going back to school in the Spring to finish my degree and id like to have that all done before we have any more babies!






hi ashley,






I had the iud (5yrs) put in & is all some,  it will make ur periods alot lighter or not at all. the ob/gyn will put it in, you will only feel period cramps for a couple sec & some women dont feel @ all, & ur hubby will not feel it u will not feel it,  it dont take that long to put it in you. good luck



 



 



hi ashley,



Be very careful.My IUD almost killed me. I had mine put in and starting getting cyst that would not go away or get smaller in size.I had to have surgery and while they were removing the cyst they found that my IUD had broke in half and went through my uterus...if I had gotten a common cold it would have killed me.  But i know of other ppl who have had them for yrs and never had a prob.Everything is a chance.





 

Krystal - posted on 10/11/2009

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I feel you girl!I am 25 and the mother of 3..they are 5,3 and 1.I have absolutely no sex drive at all.And it started after I had my 3 yr old and got even worse after I had my 3rd baby.My husband finally gets what is going on...b/c I took him to the doctor with me.After having kids, everyday life and hormones in general I just had no more interest.The doc told me it was fine and normal to feel this way...and told him that is was not him and it made him feel better.

TICE - posted on 10/11/2009

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I HAVE THE PROBLEM SOMETIMES I HAVE 4 KIDS AND SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE IT AND SOMETIMES I DON'T BUT IT'S GOOD TO TRY DIFFERENT THINGS WITH YOUR PARTNER LIKE ROLL PLAYING OR TRY SEX TOYS I HAVE A COUPLE AND IT WORKS

Anna - posted on 10/11/2009

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When my husband and I first got together sex was easy and often, but after a while my sex drive died. At first I thought it was from my IUD so I got that taken out. Then I thought it was because of something I was doing. I didn't tell my husband about it but he could tell, he said I was disinterested, and things like that. But then I realized I had sex because I felt obligated, not because I felt desired. I knew my husband desired me, don't get me wrong, but he was selfish. He always expected me to start things, and it was always about how he wanted it. So I finally sat him down and talked to him about it, and it has made all the difference. Basically my suggestion is talking to your partner about it. This isn't something that you can deal with on your own. To quote the cliche "It takes two to tango"

Anna - posted on 10/11/2009

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Quoting Dannielle:

I believe shot is almost the best way to go. I hate shots, i forget the pill and the ring doesnt give me a good feeling. im on the shot and if you have a good nurse and ask for it in your back hip its mostly fat and doesnt bother me much. i woudnt get the shot in the arm because it seems to be sore for a few days. good luck


just be careful not to stay on it constanly for too many years. My sister was on the shot for like 10 years or whatever and got pregnant. She didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 5 months along. So be sure to talk to your doctor about changing it up for a little while every once in awhile so you don't build up an immunity.

Kamie - posted on 10/11/2009

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Ive lost my sex drive for a long time now...my daughter is 3yrs. I dont think it helps when you have a emergency c-section....develop depression....then just when things get better find out i had type1 diabetes.... so i often feel really crappy. I often feel sex is a complete chore n only do it for my partner. Wish it didnt have to be like that as i loved it before i had my little girl.

Emma - posted on 10/11/2009

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hey hun

im the exact same! before i had my first child hana who will b 3 nov 4th my partner and i had a great sex life but since she was born i have had very little interest in sex and even more so since i had my little boy who will b 1 on oct 24th! the only time i was interested in sex was when my partner and i decided to try for our son! i felt so selfish but i really wanted a second. i know it aint my parnter its me i jsut dont feel sexy and in the mood. the things babies do to us women!! lol

im sure what kinda tips and advice to give u but just to say your not the only one and not to worry :)

Sam - posted on 10/10/2009

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Quoting Hannah:



Quoting Sam:

its probably irrelivent- after had my first child, she is now 11 weeks, i have had trouble getting my sex drive back. at the moment i feel i am just doing my duty when i am with my partner, and have no desire for it at all, and it hurts like hell. I havn't told him because i know how its going to make him feel. if you can talk to your partner about its great but i have not been able to.





You should make a post concerning this, ask for some advice. But you should be telling your husband he is hurting you.






i do tell that it hurts and we try different things so it doesn't hurt so much, but haven't told him i am not interested at all

Katt - posted on 10/10/2009

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Quoting Ashley:

I was thinking of getting a IUD put in but when she told me it would be a procedure it sounded to painful I said no. lol I have to think of something because I know my husband is feeling bad about himself thinking its him but its really not im just so young and scared to have another baby. The next baby we have I want us to be trying to concieve and im going back to school in the Spring to finish my degree and id like to have that all done before we have any more babies!


 



    I do not recommend getting an IUD although it's easy and you can leave it there for 5 years. Getting it put in hurt worse than giving birth and I've had nothing but problems. I get my period every 10 - 12 days and migraines from hell not to mention the back pain in the beginning!! My doc did tell me that symptoms go away 6 months to a year but I plan on trying for another baby by the time my daughter is 18 months! My friend uses Nuva Ring and she loves it!! - I also have the low sex drive Probably due to having my period all the time i'm always so scared it's gonna start up randomly so I avoid it at all costs. As all your husbands my boyfriend thinks it's him and it's totally not!! If I could have sex as much as he wants to I would!! Sometimes I have to make myself get into the mood since taking care of a baby all day long your in mom mode I try to get out of mom mode and get into the girlfriend mode lol that seems to help me out a bit but if your really concerned talk to your doctor. Your hormones could be out of whack from the baby!

Nathalie - posted on 10/10/2009

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I had this problem after my little girl.. and i talked to my doctor about it.. and she said that it will come back on its own.. or she said you can get a toy and force yourself to you know what i mean.. she said its all in your mind set.. so i took her advice and did it for a month and then it came back!! so maybe you can try that..

Valarie - posted on 10/10/2009

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i agree with ellie completely, being a mom you do get bogged down in all the caring for and tending we have to do on a day to day basis, it's hard to think about sex when your considering diapers and formula all day! :D

Renae - posted on 10/10/2009

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Wow! I know where all of you stand! My daughter is 8 months old and I think I've had sex maybe 7 times since she was born. I am not with her father anymore and am dating someone new. We have not had sex yet because I have no interest in it. I feel like it takes me forever to get turned on, so I avoid sex by all means. I don't have anyone that will watch my daughter and I currently do not work. I never get time away from her. I did finally have 2 1/2 hours away from her and I was too excited to even think straight! So, I am lost by all means.

April - posted on 10/10/2009

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I have the same feeling. I think it is due to lack of energy and time. I am often working, going to school, and taking care of three kids. By the end of the day I am exhausted! I was wondering the same thing. I finally had a day to rejuvenate, which seldomly happens, and that night I spent time with my husband. Now, I enjoy every moment and no longer look at it as a chore! Good luck,!

Raquel - posted on 10/10/2009

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Helen,

I do believe it can def be hormonal. Wen I was on the shot i never wanted to have sex but then again the guy i was with at the time was an idiot so that could have added to it. Lol but I remember asking my dr and its def hormonal specially if youve tried 3 diff types of birth control back to back. I would say give your body some time to adjust and get use to the new hormone and if nothing still..have you ever thought of couple toys? or games? my hubby likes that stuff and I think it def helps. just a thought.

K. Erin - posted on 10/10/2009

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i was having the same problem so i talked with my doctor and he put me on a low hormone birth control...i havent taken it yet because i have to have a period first, but i havent taken any birth control in like the last 2 months and we are back on...men don't like the condoms, then they cant have any...that is the rule in my house and the hubby knows it. we agree we arent ready for another baby so one of us has to do something, since i can't just yet, it's on him. we've also started talking vasectomy since removing or tying of any sort on my part can cause huge hormonal imbalances...he says he dunno...well i say, get it over with when the time comes cuz you are doin it whether you like it or not buddy! lol hang in there sweetie, your man has also got to try to put you in the mood...it's not solely up to you to make your sexual connection happen, it's up to both of yall. good luck.

Melissa - posted on 10/10/2009

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i'm the same way. My husband thinks its him even though I tell him its not. We have two children and on top of that I babyset two other kids! We try to go out on "date nights" when we can(not often), that helps! We get a babysetter for all night and just spend time(quiet time) with each other!

Tabatha - posted on 10/10/2009

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Quoting Helen:

low sex drive help !!!!

iave 4 children 5yr 3yr nearly 2yr an nearly 1yr ive now got a rewally low /non existent sex drive my partner thinks its him but i just dont want it at all please help if any body has ad the same prob ideas ???



about 3 weeks ago i asked the same Q, and someone suggested i try a supplement from the health food store and i worked :D not only did I  want to make love but i have more energy durning the day!! its called "maca" ! i got a bottle for 28$

Kiriaki - posted on 10/10/2009

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Major props to you mommy of 4! I only have 1 and I have the same problem. I really don't have any suggestions other than maybe finding a babysitter and spending some alone time with just you and the hubby. You might find a spark if you don't have kids running around you all day and just spend some alone adult time =) Best wishes to you and good luck!

Amelia - posted on 10/10/2009

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Quoting Hannah:



Quoting Sam:

its probably irrelivent- after had my first child, she is now 11 weeks, i have had trouble getting my sex drive back. at the moment i feel i am just doing my duty when i am with my partner, and have no desire for it at all, and it hurts like hell. I havn't told him because i know how its going to make him feel. if you can talk to your partner about its great but i have not been able to.





You should make a post concerning this, ask for some advice. But you should be telling your husband he is hurting you.





 

Amelia - posted on 10/10/2009

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I had the same problem. Mine was because I was always worried about my son and always had him on my mind. Beofre my son I had a still birth and now watch my son every minute of every day, hes never out of my site in case something happens i couldnt bare it. But now that he is getting older and I know that he is safe staying with family for even just a couple of hours im now getting my drive back slowly. Its been almost 3 years but its getting there. Being a first time mum also made it harder to get any drive. I was the one doing everything and still am but now he occupies himself most of the time and it makes it easier to think more about other things.

Good luck. It will get better it just takes time.

Hannah - posted on 10/09/2009

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Quoting Sam:

its probably irrelivent- after had my first child, she is now 11 weeks, i have had trouble getting my sex drive back. at the moment i feel i am just doing my duty when i am with my partner, and have no desire for it at all, and it hurts like hell. I havn't told him because i know how its going to make him feel. if you can talk to your partner about its great but i have not been able to.


You should make a post concerning this, ask for some advice. But you should be telling your husband he is hurting you.

Sam - posted on 10/09/2009

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its probably irrelivent- after had my first child, she is now 11 weeks, i have had trouble getting my sex drive back. at the moment i feel i am just doing my duty when i am with my partner, and have no desire for it at all, and it hurts like hell. I havn't told him because i know how its going to make him feel. if you can talk to your partner about its great but i have not been able to.

Krystel - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have the same problem, verbatim. exercise and strawberrys baby. they work for me and dr. oz said so too.

Nicola - posted on 10/09/2009

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Quoting Carrie:



Quoting Emily :




Quoting Ashley:

I was thinking of getting a IUD put in but when she told me it would be a procedure it sounded to painful I said no. lol I have to think of something because I know my husband is feeling bad about himself thinking its him but its really not im just so young and scared to have another baby. The next baby we have I want us to be trying to concieve and im going back to school in the Spring to finish my degree and id like to have that all done before we have any more babies!








hi ashley,








I had the iud (5yrs) put in & is all some,  it will make ur periods alot lighter or not at all. the ob/gyn will put it in, you will only feel period cramps for a couple sec & some women dont feel @ all, & ur hubby will not feel it u will not feel it,  it dont take that long to put it in you. good luck









I had gotten the iud and had a horrible experince with it. I crammped and bled for about 4 weeks and then it fell out! But my doctor said that was very rare. I have alot of friends that use it and it works great for them.





I had a problem with the mirena coil, big problems, I bleed for 6mnths (docs wouldnt take it out) was agressive all the time, lost alot of hair and was in constant pain.

Then they decided to take it out when i took a family member with me to proove what i was saying!!!! now im dont want to know when it comes to sex

some peole have a realy bad reaction some are ok with it like my friend is,



I too have turned off sex just after having my boy by emergancy c section, tried everything and feel so sorry for my partner, had the coil fitted an its just got worse. Im thinking of going to the doc to see if anything can be done because at the mo its all going down hill because of this. im just not interested.:-(



Hope you find it soon.:-)

Dannielle - posted on 10/09/2009

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I believe shot is almost the best way to go. I hate shots, i forget the pill and the ring doesnt give me a good feeling. im on the shot and if you have a good nurse and ask for it in your back hip its mostly fat and doesnt bother me much. i woudnt get the shot in the arm because it seems to be sore for a few days. good luck

Carrie - posted on 10/09/2009

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Quoting Emily :



Quoting Ashley:

I was thinking of getting a IUD put in but when she told me it would be a procedure it sounded to painful I said no. lol I have to think of something because I know my husband is feeling bad about himself thinking its him but its really not im just so young and scared to have another baby. The next baby we have I want us to be trying to concieve and im going back to school in the Spring to finish my degree and id like to have that all done before we have any more babies!






hi ashley,






I had the iud (5yrs) put in & is all some,  it will make ur periods alot lighter or not at all. the ob/gyn will put it in, you will only feel period cramps for a couple sec & some women dont feel @ all, & ur hubby will not feel it u will not feel it,  it dont take that long to put it in you. good luck





I had gotten the iud and had a horrible experince with it. I crammped and bled for about 4 weeks and then it fell out! But my doctor said that was very rare. I have alot of friends that use it and it works great for them.

Hannah - posted on 10/09/2009

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If you want to have sex with your husband then you just need to do things for yourself to awake your libido. You have had 4 babies! So give yourself a bit of a break. Perhaps your body is like: "I refuse to bump uglies, I dont want more babies." So maybe use a condom or some other baby-proofing. But even before that, take your pack of kiddos for a walk, get some excersize. Then after bed time take a bath with candles or whatever makes you totally relax. Start putting cayenne in your food. Eat dark chocolate, get some lavender oil and dab it under your arms, upper lip, and at the top of your sex.
If you want to revved up to enjoy yourself and your husband, not just to please him, you just have to feel like you are a sexual being again. Not just a mama and wife.
Please yourself too, by yourself.
Do kegals, you will get more pleaser and give more.
Disclaimer: I have no idea if any of theses suggestions will offend you or your religion, this has simply worked for me.

Skyya - posted on 10/09/2009

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it will ome back start working out do some cardio may have alot of stress or things on ur mind kids can be stressful

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