M baby is due in a week, and we have a queen size bed, where should he/she sleep.. middle?

Angela - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 415 moms have responded )

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My bf tosses a lot and throws his arms and legs all over the place and really flops around when he rolls over.. Our bed his quite high as well.. I think he's gonna be fine if we put baby in the middle, and that he'll just know baby is there. Also we have a little wodden bassinet that is ground level.. would that be better for baby for the first week instead of on the bed... ? My concern is i want baby in the bed for bonding and to help with post partom. i dont want to be seperated at all from baby!!

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Jennifer - posted on 10/24/2009

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I wouldnt let my baby sleep in our bed until she turned 8/9 months old and only if she is having a bad night or sick...I was soo scared of rolling on her, blankets over her head etc...We had a cradle beside our bed for the first three months then it was off to her crib in her own room..She has also slept right through the night since we brought her home so that made everything easier...

Maria - posted on 10/24/2009

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Hey,it's always nice to have your baby close but i've been told by all midwives and health visitors that it increases the risk of cot death.It's up to you but it is a bit dangerous for your baby.

Maria xx

[deleted account]

You should never sleep with a baby in the bed as u could roll over and suffocate her if u want bonding have skin to skin contact whilst feeding her your parner can even do it if u bottle fed or express milk

Jessica - posted on 10/24/2009

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You should try to get a bassinet to put right next to the bed. I had a friend who accidentally rolled on her baby and it was unfortunate. I also had allowed my oldest daughter to sleep in the bed by me when she was a baby, and it took until she was 3 1/2 to get her to finally sleep an entire night in her own bed. It was a nightmare!!! It prevented my husband and I from having relations, because we never knew if she'd be walking in or not.



My other two kids, (infact the newborn I have now) have been in a bassinet next to my bed, and it is so wonderful because I can reach over and touch him, and then pull him into bed to feed, and just set him right back in the bassinet. They also feel secure since it is a more inclosed space. I love it because I technically never have to leave my bed.

Mandie - posted on 10/24/2009

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I would say it is best to put your baby in the bassinet close to you until the baby is around 3-4 months old. Having the baby in the bed increases the risk of SIDS. I Have a 5 month old and we put his bassinet right up to the side of our bed. He was so close that I could touch him at all time. He has also slept through the night since we brought him home. I have a 5 year old as well and we had her in our bed from the time we took her home and she has had sleep problem from that! Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 10/24/2009

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by the way.....you can get a little babybed thingy from walmart or any place like that thats meant to go inside your bed with you and it makes it so no one can roll on your baby. you should really get one

Sarah - posted on 10/24/2009

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1st of all...moms have a natural instinct not to roll on their babys-dads dont. do not put the baby in the middle until he is older trust me i put my baby in the middle when he was 2 months old and woke up to find his dad halfway on top of him-it almost gave me a heart attack. men do not have the natural instinct we do....when a mans sleepinh hes sleeping and thats it. get the baby to sleep on the other side of you in the crook of your arm and the baby wont fall off. but if your bed is high maybe change the arrangement once baby gets old enough to roll over,

Elisha - posted on 10/24/2009

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Having a baby sleep with you in your baby is a SIDS risk and not reccomended. I would suggest putting a bassinet close to the bed if you want to be close to your baby. My son who is 4 months old never slept with us or in our room, he slept in his cot from day one & we don't have any bonding issues, he is a very happy little boy. Good Luck !

Natasha - posted on 10/24/2009

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Both of mine slept with me until i was comfortable so its up to you no matter what

Virginia - posted on 10/24/2009

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i know a lot of people sleep with their babies, and i wanted to so badly as well but please dont ever put your baby in your bed, especially with how you said you husband sleps! its so easy to roll over and smother your baby and not even notice! a friend of mine slept with her first two children in her bed with her and nothing happened, but on hr third child one night she rolled over on her baby and killed her! if you put your baby in your bed get one of those bassinets that sit right next to your bed and have an opening on the side so its open to your bed. also be careful with that too if your breast feeding you dont want to fall asleep because your breast can actually cover your babies mouth and nose and smother them that way

Christal - posted on 10/24/2009

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my suggestions is to get s co-sleeper. they are about the size of a bassinet, but they pull right up to the bedside. that way you wont worry about your boyfriend rolling over and hitting the baby. and that way you can still cuddle a small bit during the night as well.

Bridgette - posted on 10/24/2009

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I know someone who rolled on there baby while sleeping and suffocated them. And I know another couple who between them the baby suffocated though they werent rolled on. SO no you shouldnt. Put a bassinet right next to your bed thats what I did.

Stephanie - posted on 10/24/2009

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personally i wouldnt have the baby sleep in the same bed but thats your decision have you heard of these things that attach to the side of your bed where the baby can sleep that might be a good option

Heather - posted on 10/24/2009

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if i were u honestly i would not let the baby sleep in bed w/ you guys. for safety reasons and because of the fact that they will alllllways sleep in your bed from birth on up to who knows how long. i say get a cadle or bassinett and put it right next to the bed and have the baby sleep there. but thats just my opinion if u honestly want the baby in bed w/ you guys then go for it.

[deleted account]

From the time we brought our son home he slept in his pack n play bassinet until he was three months when I put him in the crib. If he did sleep in the bed with us, it was on my chest..I say go with your instinct.

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2009

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when leaving the hospital the doctors told me never to co sleep with baby i have a bassinet right next to my bed i can just reach in and pick her up it like having her in bed with you shes so close. im a stay at home mom and when my fiance leaves for work in the morning i put her in the bed with me for some bonding time where she is formula fed it helps with the bonding!

Brandy - posted on 10/24/2009

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Honestly I don't think it's a good idea for babies to sleep in the bed. First, no one will get a good sleep. Second, it's a VERY hard thing to break. With my last child we bought a bassinet and I put him right up next to my side of the bed. When we would wake I could lift him out and feed him then put him back. When his dad woke to go to work I would bring him in bed with me. He's now 11 months and has no trouble sleeping on his own. He has slept through the night since he was 2 months old (unless he's sick) and he goes down with my trouble. Being a mom, it's hard to not want them around you all the time, but you setting yourself up for trouble in the long run.

[deleted account]

I personally dont agree with babies sleeping in the bed every night like that but if you are going to put the baby in the bassinet dont put it right next to the head of bed where a pillow can fall off the bed and suffocate the baby. Babies arent strong enough to get the pillow off their faces yet. That has always scared me. My parents accidently had that happen with a bird and ever since I was told that story, I have never had the baby close to the bed in their portable crib. Anyways just thought that might help. God Bless! Congratulations!

Leanne - posted on 10/24/2009

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hi im not going to tell you what to do and what not to do my hubby is just like yours and mine was worried but we decided to try it and we found that my hubby had a kinda 6th sense when she was in bed with us we had her only in our bed for a few weeks and then in a cot in out room next to our bed we found after she moved in to the cot my hubby started tossing and turning again now that she is 16months old when she wakes at 630am she comes and climbs in to our bed and she gose back to sleep with us so you do what you would like to and i have had 2 kids that i shared my bed with and i loved filling so close good luck with what you chose and please let us know how it gose

Shayna - posted on 10/24/2009

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You can buy a cushioned bassinet that has a flat surface.Then place the newborn in that if your want to sleep with him/her in the same bed. I'm personally nervous sleeping with a newborn only because their soo small and fragile espeically when there a new born! You become SO sleep deprived that in literally 1 minute your out like a light and into a deep sleep. With a bassinet like this it will protect him/her from you & the father.



For an idea of what I'm talking about go here:

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/babyant_2072_101...

Erin - posted on 10/24/2009

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I read that your not suppesed to put them by dad. Cause he doesn't have a good sense of where they are, like mommy does. It is way more likely to have dad roll over on them then you.

Danielle - posted on 10/23/2009

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I understand exactly how you feel! maybe if your bf tosses and turns alot during the night try to let your baby sleep in the bassinet for the first week..my second one was just born september 10th and she slept with my husband and i in the middle of us but we have a king sized bed..but since i had her c-section if she woke up in the middle of the night id need to be able to easily get out of the bed without hurting myself to get her so she moved from the middle of the bed to the right side of me after i recovered from my c-section..

Tiresa - posted on 10/23/2009

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it's just better to start them out in their own bed to word of any problems that could occur now or later

Debra - posted on 10/23/2009

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its better for them to sleep in they own bed u can roll over on them its not safe i had a friend who let her baby sleep with her and she ended up rolling on to her and killed her u have alot of boned time with them when u hold them and feed them and play with them u do not need to sleep with them and a doc will even tell u that its not safe but its ur baby so whatever u decided good luck with it

Brianna - posted on 10/23/2009

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My daughter slept in the middle but i moved her to my side and the wall bc my boyfriend gets home from work late and would bounce the bed more. but once she started to roll and now crawl she has to be in her own bed bc its too dangerous if she falls off.

Renae - posted on 10/23/2009

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I coslept with both my older kids (almost 5 and 2) and will cosleep with my new baby. My kids alternated side to side, I was able to nurse side lying from a pretty young age (small breasts, barely hit a C even when nursing) so if they needed to nurse on the right side they were on the right side, nurse on the left side they were on the left side of me. I usually started them out between me and the wall though, no reason just because.



If your bf doesn't roll out of bed often or roll over you I wouldn't worry about him steam rolling the baby. What I usually ended up doing was sleeping with my arm sort of in a L shape over the baby. Both to warn me if DH got to close and to keep the blankets down.



I love cosleeping with my babies! It's great snuggle time. We're in the process of transitioning DS out of our bed, it's not a huge deal we just never had a reason before now so we never did it. Now that we're going to have 3 kids I'm not sure about 5 in a king size bed, 4 was a tight squeeze sometimes.

Racheal - posted on 10/23/2009

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My best advise would be get a bassinet that is level with your bed and put the baby in there it is not safe or good to start out with the baby in bed with you.

Jackie - posted on 10/23/2009

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The best place is in a bassinet next to your bed. Don't worry about the mom/child bond not forming if you don't sleep together at night. It will happen regardless. It is too easy for an adult to suffocate a baby by rolling on top of them. Don't risk it!

Kenisha - posted on 10/23/2009

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Honestly I would love 2 have my kids 2 sleep w/ me but I think its best 4 em 2 be in their cribs. There is even the new portable cribs that u can put in the same room w/ u.

Tiffiny - posted on 10/23/2009

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your bf will most likely just "know" the baby is there....just watch and see. :)

Karen - posted on 10/23/2009

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I have always been told that it is very unsafe for your baby to sleep in your bed. I know that other moms do it but we never did. If you have a bassinet and you place it beside the bed on your side, that would probably be the safest place!!

Jami - posted on 10/23/2009

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Put your baby in the bassennet and keep it beside you. I knew someone that accidently smothered their baby while sleeping. Could you imagine?!

Heather - posted on 10/23/2009

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I forgot to mention, never drink, or take any drugs that can mess with your judgement. No sleeping pills and watch cold medicine. They screw up the motherly instinct thing where you wake up at every little peep. Good luck and do the safe thing. Whatever you do, sleep in the same room. You will have the same sleep cycles and when baby cries and wakes you up, you will already be partially awake. This makes the effects of waking up every hour or so easier. You really wont feel as tired in the morning even if you only had 5 hrs. The way the sleep cycle thing works is amazing. You should research more about co-sleeping in many different ways. search internet, books, pediatricians and contact a lactation consultant. they can give you the ups and downs and assure you of anything you are not sure about. Unfortunately, most ppl are biased to NO CO_SLEEPING but its really not dangerous if you do it the right way. I had an advantage becasue my pelvis separated during birth and i could not move very much. I knew there was NO way i was going to move and displace him from sleeping on me. There was never even a close moment with a blanket or anything. But like i said, it has to be done the right way. If baby is next to you, better learn to layer on clothing because you shouldnt use a blanket.......ect. feel free to message me if you have any questions....I researched quite a bit about this and although many mothers totally say not to this idea.....i think its okay if its done right. and baby will leave your side in time. babies were never meant to sleep away from their mothers. at least not very far.

Brandi - posted on 10/23/2009

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please dont sleep with the baby in your bed. That is not the best place put a bassanet near the bed. U could roll over on your child if they are in the bed

Sarah - posted on 10/23/2009

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I know someone who had five kids and slept with them all but with the fifth when he was about 6 weeks old the dad rolled on him and killed him. You just can't be to careful. How would you feel if that happened to you and i know a lot of people do and say nothing happened but what if it did could you forgive yourself? You can still bond with your baby without sleeping with it. Plus you will most likly have a better sleep without the baby in bed with you cause you won't be always thinking about where the baby is. And when you get more sleep and so does baby. :-)

Marilyn - posted on 10/23/2009

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My dad is an emergency room doctor at a children's hospital, and he says they get at least 3 children in a month that were rolled over on, or smothered from sleeping in bed with parents. To each his own, but my kiddos sleep in their own beds.

Heather - posted on 10/23/2009

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do NOT put the baby between you. Although you have maternal instincts, he does not. He may not mean to hurt the baby but it could happen very easily. I kept my son next to my bed in a bassinet. He could not sleep unless with me so I set me and him up in a recliner. I know this is totally not safe but I made it as safe as i could. And believe me, any little movement he made, i was WIDE awake. But the point was, we both got some sleep and he would start rooting and eat still half asleep so he and I had better sleep. As soon as it was one month, I moved him to the crib--too big for bassinet at this time. He is seven months old and i stilll have to let him fall asleep on me before movin ghim to crib but nothing is wrong with that. I dont mind it. I tried the crying it out method and would check on him and lt him know it was okay ect but it did not work at all. He would scream himself to sleep everynight. So i went back to my method and no more screaming. There are guards you can put on your side of the bed to prevent falling. or as previously suggested move bed to wall and let baby sleep between you and wall. Remember to keep evrything away that can smother them. Neve put baby next to anyone but YOU. But remember, you will bond with your baby by just being there for your baby when he she needs you. You do not have to be at their side 24/7. Independence is a good thing. Even now I make sure my son spends alone time playing with his toys. That way he figures out how to reach toys himself and ppl dont just do it for him. He used to only last a few min but he will go 45 min or so now amusing himself. This gives me time to clean, cook ect and know that he is happy being alone.(i do keep an eye on him) but anyways im sure whatever choice you make will me great but please dont put the baby in the middle.

Amy - posted on 10/23/2009

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umm u deff should put ur baby in his/her own bed. a crib a bassanet. thats what they are for.

Sarah - posted on 10/23/2009

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Just because you don't have the baby sleep with you doesn't mean you won't be able to bond. Usually babies don't sleep through the night at first so you will be spending a lot of time with the baby. Also If your bf moves like the I wouldn't do that he could hurt the baby. Plus it is hard trying to break that habit of having your baby sleep with you. I didn't have either one of my kids sleep in my bed because it can be dangerous. Also since I heard it was hard to break the habit I didn't want to even think about doing it. Good Luck!

Marlene - posted on 10/23/2009

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hey angela, you should never sleep with the baby in your bed. you might suffocate the baby. Unfortunately, my baby's 2 months old and has been sleeping on my chest and her father's chest since birth...I don't recommend that either.

Jamie - posted on 10/23/2009

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Quoting Meghann:

I personally am disgusted with all the people saying it's "easier" for them to co-sleep with their baby. Who cares if it's easier, isn't the safety of your child more important?? Yes, there are a lot of things we could do to make caring for an infant easier, but we don't do them simply because our child's safety and well-being is more important. I COMPLETELY understand the need to have the baby close. My oldest son was 15 weeks premature and spent the first 100 days of his life in the NICU. (He had an identical twin brother who passed away at 6 weeks old and let me tell you, loosing a child for ANY reason is HORRIBLE.) Being away from him was torture, however, I knew that the nicu was the best place for him. Same thing with the crib. We put a cradle at the foot of our bed and left the closet light on so that I could check on him any time I wanted. Feedings in the middle of the night were no problem, just got a few feet out of bed to get him, then put him back when I was done. Yes there were nights when I would think it's no big deal to let him sleep with us, but I thought it was selfish to think of my comfort or needs before my baby's. Yes, there were nights when I would fall asleep while burping him, or he would fuss a lot so I would bring him into bed with me. However, it was for a short amount of time and very infrequently. I also understand the fear of not bonding with the baby, especially since for the first 100 days of my sons life i was only able to spend a few hours with him a day. He is now 16 months old and is the sweetest boy ever...he cuddles, gives hugs, and best of all, sleeps in his own crib, in his own room through the night. I adore my kids, but let's face it, we all need a good night sleep sometime and putting your child in their own bed is best for them, not just for safety reasons, but their development over time. Do you really want a 6 year old sleeping with you?? :)


Wow.  I had a baby in the NICU too.  I stayed with her day and night.  We've been in the PICU also.  They allowed me to get a "big" bed with her so I can sleep next to her.  So, even in the hospital, I co-sleep.  I co-sleep and it's not because I'm putting my comfort before my child's safety.  Yes, co-sleeping can be dangerous, but that's why I use a guard rail, don't put my blankets on my child, don't do drugs or drink, etc...  You CAN co-sleep safely.  Babies die in cribs too, more often so than in beds.  Most SIDS related deaths with co-sleeping were because the caregiver slept with the child in a chair or on a couch, on a waterbed, drank too much, smoked, did drugs, etc....  



http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/feat/arc...



Crib sleeping isn't wrong, but neither is co-sleeping.

Jamie - posted on 10/23/2009

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Quoting jade:

that aint tru if u have been watching the news the last couple of days new research shows it is MORE risky for babies to sleep in the same bed with their parents than in their own cot u shouldnt say things like that if u dont no for sure as ur "assuming"


That's what the media shows you, not what is true.  More babies die in cribs.  That is why SIDS is called a CRIB death.  Yes, you have to be smart about it and, yes, you have to do it safely.  Here is some research and helpful articles on the matter:



 



http://www.parentingweb.com/ap/sleep_hea...



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk...



http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics...



http://parentingfreedom.com/sleep/



http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t10220...



http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000...



http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_roo...



http://pregnancy.about.com/od/familybed/...



 



I have more but you get the point.

Danielle - posted on 10/23/2009

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i got a pack n play with a bassinet and put it next to my bed... i was able to move freely when i slept and it helped my son get used to sleeping alone

Jamie - posted on 10/23/2009

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You can get a really cheap guard rail (Walmart has them in the infant section for $18) that work really great so you can have baby next to you, but also not have to worry about falls. My husband used to toss a lot, but if he knew he had a child next to him, he was a very good sleeper :).

Lucy - posted on 10/23/2009

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It can be safe to sleep with your baby in bed with you - Health experts recommend it following these conditions: You should NEVER sleep with your baby if you have been drinking, smoking or doing drugs (this is what causes a lot of SIDS), the baby should NOT be in the middle of the bed between you and your partner because it could easily overheat (again this can causes SIDS). The baby should be placed next to you on the outside edge of the bed, you can always put plenty of cushions on the floor if you feel nervous. It is also recommended that only breastfeeding mothers co-sleep with new babies because they are more alert and it helps both mother and baby settle into feeding. Do what feels best for you but always do it safely, use your intuition and common sense. I hope the birth goes well and wish you and your family all the best! xx

Jade - posted on 10/23/2009

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that aint tru if u have been watching the news the last couple of days new research shows it is MORE risky for babies to sleep in the same bed with their parents than in their own cot u shouldnt say things like that if u dont no for sure as ur "assuming"

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