M baby is due in a week, and we have a queen size bed, where should he/she sleep.. middle?

Angela - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 415 moms have responded )

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My bf tosses a lot and throws his arms and legs all over the place and really flops around when he rolls over.. Our bed his quite high as well.. I think he's gonna be fine if we put baby in the middle, and that he'll just know baby is there. Also we have a little wodden bassinet that is ground level.. would that be better for baby for the first week instead of on the bed... ? My concern is i want baby in the bed for bonding and to help with post partom. i dont want to be seperated at all from baby!!

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Kelly - posted on 10/23/2009

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It all honestly it is best to put the baby in the bassinet. Because once the child gets used to sleeping with you, it will be VERY difficult to get them to sleep somewhere else.. or it was for me. My husband is constantly tossing and turning and throwing his arms as well. We did let our daughter sleep in the bed with us for awhile, but I put a pillow on the side of the bed against the wall, then let Alyssa sleep there, while I was on the other side of her, and my husband on the outside, just for her protection.

Caitlin - posted on 10/23/2009

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My daughter has always slept in her own bed and we have bonded just fine. I have always been afraid to sleep with her in bed with us because my husband is a very sound sleeper and I don't think he would wake up if her rolled over on her. I remember when I was younger, my father was working as a police officer and he got a call and when he got there, there was a dead baby and the mother had rolled over on it. My dad was very upset and told me from then on, "See what can happen?? This is why you never sleep with a baby!" From then on, I knew I would NEVER let my baby sleep with me!

Laura - posted on 10/23/2009

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I thought the I wanted to do the same thing when my lil girl was born...but i made my self put her in the bassinet right next to my side of the bed so that if i woke up in the middle of the night i could just roll over and look at her! I would never suggest letting a baby sleep in the baby with you...I know to many people that let there babys sleep with them and now they wont stay out of there bed!

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I 100% agree, Jessica! We put our baby in the playard RIGHT next to our bed, and it worked out great! She even started sleeping through the night at like 3 months, and has slept in her crib since she was about 2 months. It's wonderful! And I also agree, Angela, to not even take a chance with your boyfriend. I wouldn't recommend relying on your bf to just know your baby is there. I guess think of it this way... f that is the case with husbands/bfs, no baby would ever be rolled over on, right? When you are sleeping, you have no idea what you are doing. I would just recommend not taking a chance at all. You can bond with your baby when you are feeding him/her, and he/she can still be right next to you, and you can even put your arm on him/her. Playards are amazing since the new ones have bassinet inserts now that will put their bed pretty much the same exact level as your bed. I was still able to hear her breathe, and move and everything. And as long as you don't have thick blankets or pillows/stuffed animals and stuff, I don't understand how the baby can "suffocate just as easy in the bassinet". Just layer the baby, and don't use a blanket. It's just advice, but I'm sure you would feel horrible if something happened while the baby was in your bed... just my two cents!

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Well, I know a lot of people sleep with their babies, and I did for the first couple weeks. My husband slept on the couch. It makes me nervous now because of how many people have rolled over their children and suffocated them. My husband sounds JUST like your bf. He rolls over on me, and he even said he doesn't feel comfortable having our baby sleep in the same bed with him. Do you have a playard? I put my daughter RIGHT next to the bed, but had her sleep in her own bed. And actually, responding to the "preventing SIDS" thing, it actually helps CAUSE SIDS to have them sleep in the same bed. SIDS is caused by toxic fumes when flame retardant chemicals in mattresses/swings/strollers/car seats, etc. are mixed with a common household fungus. The gas that is omitted is more poisonous than carbon monoxide. They sell baby mattress covers to prevent it. In fact, in New Zealand, they used to have the highest percent of SIDS death, but after a doctor over there made the mattress cover, there hasn't been a single SIDS death in properly wrapped mattresses since 2000. Adult mattresses have the same flame retardant, but not ALL have the exact same chemicals that are needed, etc. SIDS is still rare, but it still happens in adult beds. My best advice would be to get or set up the playard right next to your bed. It was REALLY easy to get her out of the bed and feed her (and I had 3rd degree lacerations). The new ones have a changing station included, and you can sit on your bed and change the baby. It helps your baby be an independent sleeper. My daughter wasn't put in her playard until she was about 4 weeks old, but even then, she had adapted to sleeping in our bed, and didn't sleep well the first few days, but after that she was fine. She has been sleeping in her crib since she has been 2 months and sleeps great through the night.

Jessica - posted on 10/23/2009

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you are putting yourself up for a battle if you put the baby in the bad with you once you put the baby in the bed with you then it gets use to being in bed with you and wont be able to sleep out side of your bed id put the baby right next to the bed in a playpen or a bassinet to prevent that. And you dont really want to take the chance of your boyfriend rolling over on him or her either. You can still have that closeness with the baby right next to the bed. Hope i could be of some help to you.

Beth - posted on 10/23/2009

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My daughter will be 2 in a few days and she has been sleeping in our bed since she was born. Her dad tosses and turns in bed but I am a light sleeper so it worked out. She sleeps in the middle and she tosses and turns now so it stinks lol But we have a 10 month old also and the first 6 months she slept in her own crib but here lately she's been sleeping between her sister and myself. When my oldest was a newborn she slept either on my chest or right next to me. So I mean it's all up to the parent. And yes I think it is a huge convenience with them in the bed, they go to bed easier and they sleep a lot longer.

Abigail - posted on 10/23/2009

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DO NOT let him sleep in bed with you! There has been so many deaths in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area where children have been sufficated when parents roll on top of them.

Tara - posted on 10/23/2009

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nonono! i would get a side sleeper. its a bassinet kinda thing that actually attaches to the side of your bed, that way baby is right there with you, no seperation but no chance to accidentally hurt baby! just googles co-sleepers or side sleepers. thats what we did!

Ashley - posted on 10/23/2009

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i would put the baby on the outside and get on of those guards they use for toddlers when they move to a bed and put it on your side so the baby doesnt fall off. i let my baby sleep with me until he was three months old, but he woke up a lot, as soon as i moved him to his own bed he started to sleep great! babies need their space too, and they get really hot sleeping with you which increase sids. be so careful with your precious child.

Crystal - posted on 10/23/2009

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I'm really surprised by how many people agree to co-sleeping. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's not reccommended and I would be too afraid of smothering my son or him rolling off the bed or getting stuck in between the bed and the wall. I know a lot of people do it and I don't know anyone personally who's smothered a child doing it, but I personally would not take the risk. I don't think you need to sleep with your baby to bond. I snuggle with my son while he's sleeping and I'm awake and I love it.

Laura - posted on 10/23/2009

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Well according to Dr. Jim from the T.V. show "The Doctors" the best place for the baby would be for you to sleep in the middle and baby away from daddy because men have less sensitivity to baby being there. If that's not possible the I suggest the Co-Sleeper it's like a bassinet that butts up against the side of the bed. baby is still close for bonding but yet no squished baby

Katelyn - posted on 10/23/2009

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Most pediatricians and health care professionals reccomend that you place you baby in a crib on his back to sleep. Despite the fact that many people allow infants and newborns to sleep with them and these children grow up to be happy and healthy, the sad truth is that accidents happen and babies can easiy be smothered. As an ER nurse this is a tragic reality that I have seen more often than I care to. There are many ways to bond with your baby and have him grow up happy and secure that do not include him sleeping with you. Make your decision carefully and remember that the most important thing you can do for your baby is keep him safe.

Katelyn - posted on 10/23/2009

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Most pediatricians and health care professionals reccomend that you place you baby in a crib on his back to sleep. Despite the fact that many people allow infants and newborns to sleep with them and these children grow up to be happy and healthy, the sad truth is that accidents happen and babies can easiy be smothered. As an ER nurse this is a tragic reality that I have seen more often than I care to. There are many ways to bond with your baby and have him grow up happy and secure that do not include him sleeping with you. Make your decision carefully and remember that the most important thing you can do for your baby is keep him safe.

Kim - posted on 10/23/2009

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I bought a bed side sleeper-bassannet. Our bed sits high and my husband is also a rough sleeper at night ( kneed me in the stomache when I was 8 months preg in his sleep) I knew I couldnt have the baby in the bed. With the sleeper the baby stayed right next to me at bed level and was out of my husbands reach. U really dont want to put ur trust on ur husband knowing what he is doing in his sleep.

Crystal - posted on 10/23/2009

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i would have to say a bassinet next to your bed that way your baby doesn't get use to your bed. and all the dangers that comes with them sleeping in your bed.

Crystal - posted on 10/23/2009

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I think having little babies sleeping with you in you bed is the worst thing any parent can do, no matter what size the bed. My sister has 2 boys, one is turning 3 in Dec and the other one is turning 1 in Nov, and as infants they both slept in my sisters bed. She's is still having problems getting her 3 y/o to sleep in his own bed by himself and her 1 y/o has never slept in his crib and will not sleep in it either, her and her husband are both highly sleep deprived because of the constant fight with the 2 boys wanting to sleep in there bed with them, they get no more then an hour and a half to 2 hours of sleep a night and it been like that since the 3 y/o was born. I advise, as I did, put a bassinet beside your bed and wrap the baby nicely in a light blanket, and drape another blanket over the baby if its cold in the room. I couldn't afford a bassinet so my sister gave me a doll crib that is 3ft by 1 1/2ft that her older 3 (ages 20yrs, 18yrs and 16 yrs) played with. And I now do not have problems with my 2 and a half y/o daughter, she sleeps in her bed without waking up at night and she has done so since she was born, in the morning, if she wakes up before me she lays in bed and talks to her stuffies

Alesha - posted on 10/23/2009

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You don't have to have the baby in bed with you for bonding or to help with try to deflect depression. You are going to be sleeping a quarter of what you normally due, and you need to be able to completely relax so that you will be fresh when your baby wakes up every 2 to 3 hours to be feed and changed. If your breast feeding it will make you more tired than you all ready are when feeding time comes. Having the baby in the room with constently after birth while still in hospital will show you that just being able to roll over in your bed and look at your child in their own bed is reassuring enough. If you start letting you child sleep with you even at this early of age, you will have a harder time in the future with them being seperated from you even for a couple of hours, and they will have a hard time being able to sleep on your own. Believe it or not, but even new mommies still need "Me" time, if it is nothing but being able stretch out in bed and look at your child sleeping soundly in their own bed, being able to shower, wash your hair and shave your legs all at one time, or being able to have some cuddle time with your boyfriend. Just because you have a newborn in your house does not mean that everything will come to a stop, end, and that it's ok to forget about yourself, family, friends, or spouse.

Queenee - posted on 10/23/2009

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If your bf tosses and turns in the bed then the bed is not the best place for the newborn baby. The best thing you can do is to have a portable crib like a pack and play and pull it right up close to your side of the bed. I know you say you want that bonding experience, but the situation you just described is not the best for the safety of the baby. Not to say that he would do anything intentionally. But the fact of the matter is most people are just heavy sleepers and don't really realize what they do when they are sleep. You sleep with him.. just think how many times have you been hit or kicked while sleeping with him.

Miranda - posted on 10/23/2009

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I had my girls in bed with me until they were a year old, and I hardly got any sleep at all. Because I was always worrying that they were going to get squashed or that the blanket was going to cover them up, or others stuff like that. Personally, I would put him a bassinet next to you that way you can sleep, but still be near him.

Keisha - posted on 10/23/2009

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it can be dangerous if you allow baby to sleep in the bed with u. try using the bassinet. if u are a heavy sleeper like my husband you may sleep on baby.. my husband almost did luckily I'm a light sleeper i took my son out the bed ever since and put him in the crib next to our bed. hope this helps. p.s. feeding time is bonding time.

B'Randa - posted on 10/23/2009

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I did both. I had a wooden craddle that I put against the wall on my side of the bed. An if she woke up after nursing I general laid her in the crook of my arm and we all slept just fine. An I did the same for my son. It's how you feel most comfortable. Because if you aren't comfortable the baby won't be either!!!!!!!!

Kelsey - posted on 10/23/2009

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put the baby in the bassinet. you and the baby have already bonded. he or she has been growing inside you for 9 months. he or she will recognize you without the need to sleep in your bed. next thing you know, you're going to lose sleep because you're going to worry about smothering or rolling on your baby. that's not worth it at all. there are beds that are made to sit on your bed as you sleep that help with the bonding if that's what you want. they are like 40 bucks at target. i would recommend that instead of sleeping with your baby in your bed. i know the risk is not too terribly high of smothering your baby, but there still is that risk. why would you want to increase that chance? if something ever happened to your baby, which i doubt anything would, you would never forgive yourself. dont risk it. put the baby in the bassinet. sit gets the baby used to being in his or her own bed. the ONLY time i let my little man sleep with me in my bed is when someone else is around and can wake me up if it looks like anything is wrong. while your motherly instincts will kick in and you subconscious will be at work letting you know your baby is there, your body will still give in to some much needed deep sleep. dont risk it.

Kelly - posted on 10/23/2009

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i would put your baby in their bassinet that way you can all get a good sleep without worrying, it is not recommented for your baby to sleep in bed with you. you can still bond with the baby during the day. my little boy is in a crib right by the side of me.

Delyse - posted on 10/23/2009

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babies sleep thro the night so must faster if they sleep in their own bed from the first day. that way they get into a routine. who wants to be still feeding thro the night for ever. they can sleep thro the night by two months old if you get into a good routine and stick too it. nothing wrong with giving your babies cuddles in bed and snuggling sometimes. just not all the time other wise the only way they will go to sleep is with you cuddling them and then we have no time for our hubbies and its not good for bubs

Jaime - posted on 10/23/2009

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Wow you have so many replies, but i will give my input anyway. I haven't been able to read all of them, so hopefully I am not repeating someone exactly!

Here goes. I have done co-sleeping with both of mine, and will do it with all of mine, but the only reason that it works well with us, is that both my husband and I are light sleepers, and my husband doesn't roll around at night. Most of the time if the baby is near him, he is sleeping with his belly to the baby-- so that he doesn't lean back on the baby in his sleep. He told me that he trained himself to do this, after being nervous for a few months with our first born. Also I would suggest that for the first few weeks that you try the bassinet, for lots of reasons. With both my boys almost every diaper was a little poopy the first few weeks, so you should be getting up with your newborn to change diapers anyways, so don't give yourself the opportunity to be lazy/half asleep, and not get up.

After a few weeks this cleared up, and we have gotten down to only changing once during the night, and there have been a few times that we have gone all night. I let my babies sleep in diapers, since our blanket keeps us very warm, and normally we are sweating anyway, so be careful not to overdress baby, but if you are blanket hogs, and baby is uncovered I would make it habit to have baby in sleeper, and a baby blanket, and not under your comforter.



I did see someone say to put the bed against the wall--- this I agree is a must for a cosleeping breastfeeding mother, since you will have to feed on both sides--- so you will be turning sometimes multiple times a night- and don't kid yourself, if you are a cosleeper you will fall asleep while feeding baby- be safe and don't take the risk that baby falls on the floor.

Also we don't sleep with a top sheet, as they are thin enough to get in baby's mouth- as well as make sure that any pillows have all tags removed (i woke up with my youngest sucking on a pillow tag- scared me to death!) So any unnecesary bedding should be put away, because it is a risk. Always keep extra clean matress pads and sheets on hand, because you and baby will be-- leaking... lol, and to keep your mattress in good health I have put the crib mattress pad (it has a waterproof barrier) on my side of the bed under the sheets.



If you have worries about your husband rolling over (if he is a heavy sleeper) you need to be very vigilant about keeping your eye on him at first, because most mothers have a natural instinct to keep baby close and healthy (example- you will wake if baby coughs, cries even just a little, etc.) daddy doesn't have these instincts, and he could very well roll over on baby and not know the difference. A body pillow may help to put in the middle to keep him away, Also always try to keep baby to your tummy, that way you don't roll over baby. Make sure the crack between your bed and wall is very small, and if your bed is easily moved (on rollers or something) consider just doing the mattress and box spring for awhile.



You can never be to careful when it comes to your baby! Babies do die from being smothered in bed with mommy and daddy more than you think, (I know a girl that had that happen) but if you are careful, and eliminate all the risks, you should be fine. Hope this helps! And good luck!

Jessica - posted on 10/22/2009

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I would not have the baby sleep in bed. Just put the baby in a bassinet next to you. I did that with my daughter and I felt very safe. I knew there was no chance of me or my husband rolling on her plus she was right next to me so I could still keep an eye on her. I think if you had the baby in bed with you both of you would get use to it and it will be a lot harder down the road to get them to sleep in there own bed. There is just to many risks with sleeping with the baby..the blankets could get pushed over its head or your bf might be in a deep sleep and toss on him. The risks just isn't worth it. I think you will be very happy with having the bassinet next to you. You will also be able to get a good nights sleep...your mind wont be so busy trying not to roll on the baby.

Meghann - posted on 10/22/2009

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Oh, and the whole "helping the milk come in" is a load of crap. My son was in the NICU so I pumped for a long time before he came home and I had an entire deep freeze freezer full of milk...enough to feed my son for over a month! (And I was also taking milk everyday to the nicu so he was only getting breastmilk and no formula.) Clearly, I had no problem with my milk coming in WITHOUT co-sleeping!

Meghann - posted on 10/22/2009

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I personally am disgusted with all the people saying it's "easier" for them to co-sleep with their baby. Who cares if it's easier, isn't the safety of your child more important?? Yes, there are a lot of things we could do to make caring for an infant easier, but we don't do them simply because our child's safety and well-being is more important. I COMPLETELY understand the need to have the baby close. My oldest son was 15 weeks premature and spent the first 100 days of his life in the NICU. (He had an identical twin brother who passed away at 6 weeks old and let me tell you, loosing a child for ANY reason is HORRIBLE.) Being away from him was torture, however, I knew that the nicu was the best place for him. Same thing with the crib. We put a cradle at the foot of our bed and left the closet light on so that I could check on him any time I wanted. Feedings in the middle of the night were no problem, just got a few feet out of bed to get him, then put him back when I was done. Yes there were nights when I would think it's no big deal to let him sleep with us, but I thought it was selfish to think of my comfort or needs before my baby's. Yes, there were nights when I would fall asleep while burping him, or he would fuss a lot so I would bring him into bed with me. However, it was for a short amount of time and very infrequently. I also understand the fear of not bonding with the baby, especially since for the first 100 days of my sons life i was only able to spend a few hours with him a day. He is now 16 months old and is the sweetest boy ever...he cuddles, gives hugs, and best of all, sleeps in his own crib, in his own room through the night. I adore my kids, but let's face it, we all need a good night sleep sometime and putting your child in their own bed is best for them, not just for safety reasons, but their development over time. Do you really want a 6 year old sleeping with you?? :)

Starla - posted on 10/22/2009

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you know that my husband and I also have a queen size bed and our daughter slept in the middle. Then when I was able I had her move from one side to the other. Then when she got to the point when she was rolling i had to put her in her own bed. We lost her off the side of the bed and once was enough. So its up to you but i think the middle is ok.

Lissete - posted on 10/22/2009

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i know its hard a lot of moms want to cuddle and sleep with their baby s but you have a whole day and wonderful first few years of bonding , my daughter never slept in my bed. shes very affectionate and independent 5 year old now. i know a few friends who have let their children sleep in bed with them and when potty training came around it was no joy to wake up to a wet or poopy bed in the middle of the night. so think about the long term effects . my doctor always recommended that a baby be sleeping on their back in a crib . the choice is yours but just know the risks you are taking before you make an important decision like that.

Jessica - posted on 10/22/2009

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You should not let your baby sleep with you. You will have all the time in the world to bond. Every time you hold that baby you are bonding.. sleep time should be your time. Its a vicious cycle, hun.. be careful! Bassinet right next to you is an awesome idea. They only sleep for a couple of hours, so if you need that bonding time just sit and watch them sleep. It's just as enjoyable. It really is!

Casheena - posted on 10/22/2009

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In my opinion I wouldn't let the baby sleep in the same bed with you and your boyfriend, especially if he sleeps wild. If this is your first baby he won't be used to sleeping with an infant and there could be problems. i would say to start your little blessing in the bassinet until your boyfriend gets used to having a baby in the house. Once your guys get your sences trained on your new baby it may be a little easier.

Krista - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Anastacia:

With my first daughter, she slept in our bed for the first little bit. I just slept with her in the nook of my arm away from her father. Our bed was only a double and it was very low. I wouldn't put the bed up against the wall because I heard of a baby suffocating between the wall and the bed.
I only kept her there for about 2 weeks. She took naps in her crib so she was familar with it already. She slept through the night a full 8-10 hours by the time she was 2 months and a week old. I find even now (she is a year and a half) she sleeps much better by herself. When we had her sleep even in a playpen in the same room as us, she is up most of the night.
I am worried of the next one due this Sunday because she will have to sleep in our room longer. Until she is about 4-6 months old and her own room is ready. I think she might not be as independant as my first daughter Taleigha has been.
Co-sleeping when done correctly definately can be better for breastfeeding and bonding. Neither is impossible when they don't sleep with you though. It takes more work to actually have to get all the way up in the night for feedings. But I find it was worth it because she needed her own space and has begun to grow into a beautiful and independant litttle girl. I wouldn't change how we did it at all.


As far as the thing about your daughter being 4-6mos old till she sleeps in her own room, I don't know how your baby will do, but I know my son had to sleep with us until we moved and he did fine when we finally did. He started sleeping in his own room at 4 mos. As far as co sleeping, alex and I sometimes nap together but that's it. I hold him till he falls asleep but then he goes into his own bed.

Colleen - posted on 10/22/2009

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put a cradle next to your bed ... you don't want to crush the poor thing ... and lay the baby on one of your shirts ... the smell of you will sooth the baby and help it to recognize it's mommy ... good luck! ... =)

Rabecka - posted on 10/22/2009

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I have four children and I made the mistake of letting all three of my older girls sleep with me. If I had it to do again I would have just moved their cribs into my room so I knew they were safe and close to me. My son however has always slept in his own bed. There has been a couple of times that I would get up and get him in the night and lay him with me and we would both fall asleep, but by putting him in his own bed to begin with I have never had any problems with him sleeping at all. He has been sleeping through the night since 3 months old and has been sleeping in his own room since he was 6 months old. I can now just tell him it is bed time walk him to his room help him into his toddler bed, lay with him and read him one book, then I kiss him, tell him good night, to stay in bed, and I shut off the light walk out and close the door behind me. It is wonderful he will be 2 in February. now my girls are 9, 6, and 3 and they still have a hard time sleeping alone. I will get up in the middle of the night and catch them in each others bed. Bonding and being close to your child is very important however I do not suggest letting your infant sleeping in your bed on a consistant basis. There are other ways to bond and get closeness with your infant. I used to take a shower with my son every evening or soak in the bath tub with him. Many children have been accidentally sufficated by parents when allowed to sleep in bed with them. They have moved their pillows right on top of their infant without even realizing it. Other incidents that could happen would be rolling on top of your child, smothering the child with your blankets, or the child rolling between your bed and a wall or falling off your bed. I truly believe it is best to find other ways to bond with your child. There are many books on this issue and most physicians will tell you to never let your child sleep in bed with you that it is dangerous. I hope this answers your question and best of luck to you and your new baby!

Karissa - posted on 10/22/2009

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I recommend getting the bassinet that attaches right to the side of the bed (in a sense). It's bed level, and it has an opening so if you still want the bonding, you can reach in and put your hand on baby. I've had my children sleep with me sometimes and for short periods, but if you want that bonding, think of the pros and cons. Pro... bonding that may be better served while baby's awake, or Cons... Being so overtired from getting up at night, that you fall to hard asleep.. I've been extremely lucky and I take precautions of propping myself up with pillows so I won't roll onto baby, but definitely for the first few weeks, try the bedside bassinet. I personally think this will work best for you and your bf. If you are determined to try sleeping with baby for bonding (not that I blame you, they're so perfect and wonderful and hard to be away from), first start by swaddling a baby doll and sleeping with that. See if you're body reacts when or if you roll onto the doll. If you wake up on top of the doll, probably a better idea that you don't sleep with baby. If you wake everytime you bump "baby" then try at your own risk... Wishing you all the best with this sweet but heart wrenching decision... Any more question or comments, feel free to contact me! =)

Sara - posted on 10/22/2009

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well i let mine sleep in her bed crib by herself and it works pretty good.she sleeps all night long...and its best for them to be in there bed.not with there mom in dads

Crystal - posted on 10/22/2009

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I was told by the doctor and WIC not to co sleep..you could accidentally roll over on the baby and smother it. I would say get a bassinet and put it next to your bed that way your baby is right there with you and you have easy access. Good luck! :)

Hannah - posted on 10/22/2009

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Hi, I do not recomend having your baby sleep with you. My cousin lost their first child by rolling onto him in the middle of the night. It was awefull, I couldn't imagine what they went through, but I learned from it.

Jennifer - posted on 10/22/2009

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my two kids both slept in my bed. my first did it for a year, my bed was against the wall and she slept between me and the wall for the first year. THE DAY i put her in her own bed she slept thru the night and ive never really had any issues.

with my son i would put his bassinette basket on the bed, as i was afraid his dad would roll on him. he preffered his own bed from 8 months

yes, some ppl are against co-sleeping but i found it a great way to bond, i got more sleep, and my kids were fine once the arrangement came to an end.

Joy - posted on 10/22/2009

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I would just like to say that sleeping with your baby is a lot safer than people think it is. It is completely natural and it's a mother's instinct to protect her baby even in her sleep. I know that when my son was sleeping with me, I didn't move a muscle the whole entire night because even in my sleep I was aware that he was there. I read a study awhile ago that said that almost all baby deaths that happened while co-sleeping was the result of the parents being either drunk or on drugs. And think of all of the babies dying from SIDS in their own beds. Every mother I have ever known or talked to who slept with their baby have all said that they become the most still, cautious sleeper and wake up at every little noise with their baby sleeping next to them.

Felicita - posted on 10/22/2009

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my thoughts are dont put the baby in the bed with you two cases i have seen tell me this is bad really bad...one a mothers oldest child didnt know her sister was in the bed with her mom and laid on the baby killing it...the other my girlfriends husband fell alseep with baby in sofa and it feel and died... get a all in one bassinet and play pen...its like sixty dollars and you can use it forever i have two kids i did for them and never let them sleep in bed until they could tell me to move over if i was on them...

Nicole - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Erin:



Quoting Andrea:




Quoting Christine:

Ok, Please, Please, Please don't put your baby in the middle of you and your boyfriend! I know you think you both will be aware that the baby is there but believe me it's not worth rolling over one morning to find a blue cold baby in the middle to test the theory! Get a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed! The baby stays close but safe from unaware kicking, hitting, or smothering! The best bonding you can do is breast feed your baby and talk to him or her while they are awake! Also keep in mind that adult bedding is not appropriate for newborns/infants, blankets and pillows they can not move cause potential smothering hazards! Please contact me if you have any questions about putting your baby to sleep! Most accidental infant deaths occur while you are sleeping and a lot of them are preventable!








I definitely agree with this. I am one of those people who woke up to a blue cold baby in the middle of the bed with us! It was the most horrifying experience of my life. Please find an alternative to having your newborn in the bed with you. Our baby only slept in the bed with us ONE night and she died that night!








I haven't been on this circle of moms very long, but in the past 5 mins I have replied to 2 posts like this. It scares me so much to think someone else could lose their baby like I did.









first let me tell you that I am so very sorry for your loss :( no parent should bury their children, secondly I really hope that she sees your post!! you and your family are in my prayers!!





Ok I'm very sorry that this happened to you. While I had a good experience having my baby in bed I did it knowing the risks. Something I found after moving my son to his own bed however is something called a safe sleeper. this is a small bassinet type thing that you place in your bed that the baby can sleep in without getting rolled on or smothered in a pillow or blanket.

Sarah Chase - posted on 10/22/2009

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the crib! Our son has been in his crib since we brought him home..its worked around wonderfully!!

Nicole - posted on 10/22/2009

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My son wouldn't and still wont sleep in his bassinet. We put him in the middle of our queen size bed. I used to flop around like your bf does. You would be amazed. If you are gonna have baby in your bed middle is best then they can't fall out.

Jeannie - posted on 10/22/2009

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Well I am only an expecting mother but I have an RD meet with me once a month to give me helpful advice and so on and do forth and I had the same question. It is great that you want to snuggle your baby and cuddle with him/her however it is a safty issue to have baby in bed with either mom or dad let alone both. You could roll over your baby (Who enjoys the closeness and warmth so wouldn't cray even it you're smothering it.) Just as s/he doesn't know what hands and feet are s/he has no idea or death or that it's dieing. There's also SIDs to worrie about which can be caused by over heating the baby. Our blinkets and body heat have shown in the past to be "too warm" for baby. It is safest to have baby maybe next to your bed in a bassinet or you can do what I am considering which is using a play pin (W/ elevated bed placment) to have the baby close but not in harms way. Remember too that just because other parents have done it without bad results isn't an award to amother who stacks the odds against her newborn :) I hope I helped!

[deleted account]

I know it can be hard sometime to put your baby down. But sleeping the the same bed is a very bad Idea. that is how SIDS happens. You think you will know the baby is there, but all it takes is the blankes being worng on their face or being tierd, because babies take alot of engergy. You can breast feed, or if you bottle feed, and want to feel closer you can always find a quiet place to be alone and take you shirt off so you get the skin to skin. But babies should always sleep in a basinet or pack n play untill they are old enough to sleep in a crib. Also crying is a good thing. not to much, but it helps them to develop their lung. If you want to know more about SIDS just google it, you should get lots.

Erin - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Andrea:



Quoting Christine:

Ok, Please, Please, Please don't put your baby in the middle of you and your boyfriend! I know you think you both will be aware that the baby is there but believe me it's not worth rolling over one morning to find a blue cold baby in the middle to test the theory! Get a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed! The baby stays close but safe from unaware kicking, hitting, or smothering! The best bonding you can do is breast feed your baby and talk to him or her while they are awake! Also keep in mind that adult bedding is not appropriate for newborns/infants, blankets and pillows they can not move cause potential smothering hazards! Please contact me if you have any questions about putting your baby to sleep! Most accidental infant deaths occur while you are sleeping and a lot of them are preventable!






I definitely agree with this. I am one of those people who woke up to a blue cold baby in the middle of the bed with us! It was the most horrifying experience of my life. Please find an alternative to having your newborn in the bed with you. Our baby only slept in the bed with us ONE night and she died that night!






I haven't been on this circle of moms very long, but in the past 5 mins I have replied to 2 posts like this. It scares me so much to think someone else could lose their baby like I did.





first let me tell you that I am so very sorry for your loss :( no parent should bury their children, secondly I really hope that she sees your post!! you and your family are in my prayers!!

Samantha - posted on 10/22/2009

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I think it really depends on your baby, to be honest. I have an almost 5 month old, who loves mom and dad's big bed, but he doesn't sleep very well in it. I have nothing against co-sleeping and if he did better I'd do it more often, but when he co-sleeps he tosses himself around and really moves a lot. So I say try a few things out and see what works for you and your baby, cause honestly once the baby is here you may find something else works better for you or co-sleeping you don't get any sleep. For me, I'm so worried about rolling over that I don't sleep much when he does sleep with us. I hope this helps and good luck!!

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