M baby is due in a week, and we have a queen size bed, where should he/she sleep.. middle?

Angela - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 415 moms have responded )

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My bf tosses a lot and throws his arms and legs all over the place and really flops around when he rolls over.. Our bed his quite high as well.. I think he's gonna be fine if we put baby in the middle, and that he'll just know baby is there. Also we have a little wodden bassinet that is ground level.. would that be better for baby for the first week instead of on the bed... ? My concern is i want baby in the bed for bonding and to help with post partom. i dont want to be seperated at all from baby!!

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You should look into safe co-sleeping before baby arrives. We co-slept for most of the first year (and only co-sleep part of the night now). When my son was first born, he slept on the outside, and I was between baby and my husband. I don't think my husband was as aware of where the baby was, so I didn't want him laying next to him for the first several months. On the outside of the bed, I attached an Arm's Reach co-sleeping bassinet, so baby couldn't fall out. You could attach a bassinet, use a guard rail, or push the mattress up against the wall, but it is probably best for you to be in the middle, not the baby. I love co-sleeping, and it has worked well for my family - but you need to make sure you're doing it safely!

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T10220...
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/safe.htm...

Elecia - posted on 10/20/2009

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there are cosleepers available for the side of your bed. I wouldnt recommend putting the baby between the two of you. the cosleepers adjust to the bed and have a drop down rail, so that you are right next to the baby, and you aren't risking the baby.

Lauren - posted on 10/20/2009

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Also, my husband moves a lot and likes the room very cold to sleep which is not good for babies so my twins have slept in their own cribs since the second day we were home from the hospital and are doing great. They are now 2 months old and love their cribs!

Lauren - posted on 10/20/2009

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My recommendation is to not let your baby sleep in bed with you it is very dangerous and not advised by the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you do decide to put the baby in bed with you I would suggest the dividers that make the baby their own bed on top of yours so that the baby is next to you but still has their own room so you don't have to worry as much about accidents.

Kayla - posted on 10/20/2009

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All children are different and some may sleep in the bed at 2.5 years and some may sleep in the bed until they are 10. I know that I slept in the bed with my parents and I was one of the children that was terrified of my own bed until about 11! Just one week ago there was a baby that died in my community because the father rolled over on the baby. At the same time there are many children, myself included, that sleep with their parents and there are no problems. It's really a decision that you have to weigh the pros and cons of each sleeping arrangement. Each mom is going to have their own opinion and I am just here to give advice on what I have learned so far, not to argue or step on toes! Hope the best for you and your baby.

Lisa - posted on 10/20/2009

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Babies very rarely die from sleeping in bed with a parent. Sleeping with a parent on a sofa is what causes the majority of co-sleeping deaths. Many more babies die from sleeping on their own in a cot than do sleeping with their parents in a bed. Plus in countries where co-sleeping is the norm there is no such thing as SIDS.

September - posted on 10/20/2009

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In my opinion babies should not sleep in bed with you. I have a sister who lets her daughters sleep in bed with her and her husband and now at 3 and 4 years old she can not get them to sleep in their own beds. So I took her advice and our son slept in a bassinette right next to our bed until he was 4 months old. When it cam time to move him into his crib we had not problems at all. I've heard time and time again Mom's asking how to get their kids to sleep in their own beds. My answer to that is to not let your babies sleep with you in the first place. I have let our son nap with us but he does not sleep through the night with us. Ultimately it's your choice so good luck with whatever you decide to do :)

Hillary - posted on 10/20/2009

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I would either use the bassinet or buy a new bassinet that is off of the floor. You can take naps with the baby during the day, but when your boyfriend is sleeping with you it would probably be a good idea to keep the baby out of his way. I had a bassinet as well, it was almost the same height as our queen sized bed and I would scoot it as close to the bed as possible and then hang my arm over the side for most of the night. I tried sleeping in the bed with baby and hubby but it was just too scary for me, woke up a lot just in time to stop hubby from rolling over on my baby. Many infants have died from co-sleeping, it really is safer just to keep him in a bassinet for awhile, at least at night. My daughter is now 11 months old and we can't get her OUT of our bed, and she is the most loving little baby I've ever known. You will have plenty of time to bond with your baby, remember that they sleep a whole lot better when they are swaddled! This was a life saver for me! Get plenty of skin-to-skin contact during feeding or naps, babies love the smell of their mommy's skin, and spend as much time with yours as you can. Good luck!

Angela - posted on 10/20/2009

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Thank you very much. I agree with the b aby in the bed for too long cause you can't get them to sleep idependently. and the conveinense of having them so close is understandable. thank you again. take care!

Sandra - posted on 10/20/2009

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The parenting books now say that co-sleeping is not to be done due to the number of parents who have rolled on there children. Now, I don't know anyone who has not co-slept with their child at some point. The baby having its own space helps with them being able to sleep on their own and you can still bond with the baby during the rest of the day. But if you want the baby to sleep with you I would put the baby between you and the wall. What worked for me was sleeping on my back with the baby on my tummy so I knew where he was at all times. See what works best for you...but know that you don't need to sleep with the child to bond with it.

Lisa - posted on 10/20/2009

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Oh and generally a child will chose to sleep in their own bed at 2.5 - 3yrs old if they're not pushed into that independence too early.

Lisa - posted on 10/20/2009

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My daughter sleeps with myself nd her dad. She sleeps in the middle. Both he and I can just sense she is there. Now that she is bigger we have put our mattress on the floor and she can sleep on the inside or outside. Against the wall as above may well work, my only fear would be if the bed moved a bit and baby fell between all and bed. However that would be very unlikely to happen.

Well done for wanting to co-sleep! It is best for momma and baby and really helps with breastfeeding. It enables you and baby to get a better nights sleep and builds a healthy bond. And new research has shown it to prevent SIDS. Look for the book 'Three in a Bed' - it really covers all the benefits of cosleeping and answers a lot of questions.

Whatever you choose, it will be great!

Kayla - posted on 10/20/2009

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I didn't want my baby to sleep separate either. My daughter is 6 months and she is still in the bed and dad is in the extra bedroom! i love having her sleep with me and i worry because she has bad acid reflux so i was always scared she would spit up and choke. She did spit up a few times but never choked. If I had it to do over I would have put her crib in our bedroom and she would have slept in it. Not only do I feel bad for my fiance being on the futon, but Emma will not sleep in her crib even for a nap; sometimes she will only sleep if I am holding her which makes it impossible to do housework or my college work! I think it's whatever you feel comfortable with but just remember the longer they stay in the bed the harder it is to get them sleeping on their own!!!

Angela - posted on 10/20/2009

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what about about the bleeding when you sat up to feed? didn't that add stress?

Holli - posted on 10/20/2009

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my advice would be to put your bed against a wall and have the baby in between you and the wall. i have 5 kids and it has worked for me. =)

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