Me vs my parents about my son....very frustrated....please HELP

Kendra - posted on 01/04/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

24

125

0

For the last 2 months my son has been sleeping with my mom and stepdad. Early in the morning my stepdad will put him in bed with me. My problem is that he needs to sleep in his own bed and if he wakes up in the middle of the night I should be the one getting up with him not my stepdad. I dont know how to tell them that he cant sleep with them forever. My other problem is my son wont have anything to do with me if my stepdad is around. It hurts my feelings. My son is spoiled and when he doesnt get his way he has tantrums and well he gets picked up. He has never learned to self sooth because my stepdad has always given in so that he doesnt have to listen to the crying. Im tired of them having control over where he sleeps and that I have to tell them where I am going with him all the time. Its like living in hell as a teenager all over again. Im also tired of feeling guilty about leaving my son at home with my parents when I want to go out. I just dont know what to do anymore..should i let them control me with everything about my son? I am also ready to take my son's bed apart and put it in storage since its just sitting there not being used.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

5 Comments

View replies by

Natasha - posted on 01/05/2010

282

13

36

Get them involved with helping you raise your son (eg: sleep training techniques etc). In other cultures whole tribes help in the raising of the child, your already getting the benefits of this with the extra hands on help.
My Mum & her husband have been over almost all day, every day since my son was born (just turned 1yr). His favourite person is my Mum's husband, we all get forgotten about when he is around. I have learnt that as long as my son is healthy & happy that is the main thing. We are all human and sometimes, some people we meet are just good fun to be around. Don't take it personal. I make sure I have a special thing I do with my son that no one else does ( I sing to him nursery rhymes/ songs and dance with him).

The only thing is you have to set the boundaries. I have been the one to set the feed & sleep schedule. Next time you want to implement something, how about talking about a strategy with your parents, so they feel they are included and will work better with you? It sounds like they live with you, so it would be better to get them on you side, rather you all at loggerheads.

Being assertive and seeming calm & in control, people will listen and show respect. The moment you are submissive or aggressive, all they see is the flaws and will stop listening to what you say. If you have a set definite plan, rather than just seeming unsure what your going to do, or you don't know (wishy washy) then someone else will step in and take control.

Kristen - posted on 01/05/2010

20

7

1

I agree with Tashanna, you need to take control, even if that means not going out nearly as much as you would. You will find that guy someday, but if you dont want your mom and stepfather raising your son than take control. Enforce that they need to have him sleep in his own bed, so when he gets older he will not be "the kid who needs to sleep with his grandparents". They have to know that what you say goes and their opinion is appreciated and thier help is greatly appreciated but overall you are his mother. My boyfriends mom pretty much raises her one grandson but only because her daughter was pressured into it by her by making her feel horrible about herself. She tried to start after I had my son, she wanted to be there everyday all day and tried to say what we could and couldnt do with our son. I put my foot down before she even got started and it upset her, and she is still throwing a fit about it six months later but shes not the one raising my son and has no say in what we do with him. Shes a real witch with a capital B too, and a whole list of other things but putting your foot down does put you in charge of your own son.

Tashanna - posted on 01/04/2010

20

31

8

maybe you should try to stay at home more so they wont have a reason to be your child parents. iwas the same way until my mom told me that if i dint want her to say or do anything for my son i needed to get off my butt and be a mother. you have the final say in your childs life.start looking into your state resources for single parents like gov housing

Kendra - posted on 01/04/2010

24

125

0

Quoting Tashanna:

you have to remember that is YOUR CHILD,put your foot down bout how you want to raise your child. let your mom and step dad know how you feel they might not know that you want a say so.



Its kind of hard to really say anything when they would just shoot me down which they do it no matter what. I do my best in telling my mom what i want and well everything just goes down the hill. my mom is good at giving me nasty looks when i come home after going out and that i shouldnt have been out that late. its hard to meet a guy when i live with my parents and leave my son with them so i dont have to get a baby sitter. im only living with my parents because of the fact that I cant afford to live on my own without any child support, from which my state government sucks at trying to get for me.



 



I have an easier time at talking to my stepdad but what he wants for my son he usually gets his way. To be honest Im afraid of my mom. She is a cruel nasty witch with a capital "B".

Tashanna - posted on 01/04/2010

20

31

8

you have to remember that is YOUR CHILD,put your foot down bout how you want to raise your child. let your mom and step dad know how you feel they might not know that you want a say so.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms