mother in law HELL (read this you will feel alot better about your life)

Leyla - posted on 02/04/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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where do i start.

My MIL was really nice when i first met her, now shes a nightmare, me and my partner found out we was expecting as much as my MIL was happy she couldnt help but feel left out and only went and had IVF until she found out she was pregnant we was unable to speak about babies it upset her cos she couldnt talk about it! Anyway her IVF ws succesful at 45 years old. She was happy until she found out it was a boy (mine was a girl) she was guttered which is selfish at her age id just be grteful it was healthy, well at any age for that matter! Anyway she was adament she would drive me to the hospital when i was having contractions - thinking nothing of it i said yes ok then. HOW WRONG WAS I! she completley ruined my birthing expirience talking to all the midwives about her soon to be baby, her birthing plan HER HER HER! i was having contractions whilst she was talking about baby names for hers! when my daughter was born everybody in the family naturally gave me and my partner all positive attention. Congratulations etc. she couldnt understand why she wasnt being congratulated, and kicked off throwing my daughters car seats around stomping and shouting a day after i had her. She reckoned it was a different matter but we knew it was the left out feeling as she had 3 months to go. Anyway we had obviously fallen out. She then went home crying(leaving me and my daughter stranded at the hospital) telling everybody me and my partner had shouted at her and ws horrible after all the trouble she went bringing us and money spent! Exuse me i told her to be quiet as my day old baby was sleeping and she was shouting! she has made out where liars and we fought back for our innocence telling her whats what and because wev had to be blunt about it nasty words have been said now she looks like the victim in all this and me and my partner look evil. i dont know what to do no more shes trying to turn my own family against me shes even threatened to make us worse off by getting a contract in her sons name as she has his details. shes made up terrible things about me putting it on facebook threatening to hurt me but nobody knows any of this cos she says it in person and then denies every bit of it and acts as the nice 1 who wants to make ammends she says if we dont make up with her her son is going out of her will, he doesnt care about her 1 bit after all the trouble and stress shes put us through! and its the talk of the community. anybody know what i can do about this?

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14 Comments

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Janice - posted on 02/13/2012

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holy crap!!! she sounds nuts to me!! to b honest i would sit her dwn and tell her hws she making use feel and say if she doesnt change den use want neting to do with her (record da conversation if u can) at least use can say use tried to make amends (even though use did neting wrong) b da onli adult in dis situation!! (she proved she is acting like a teenager) tell her all da matters 2 use is ur daughter and u dnt want tension stress and arguments 2 ruin da best time with ur daughter!! dey grow up very quickly and she is missing out on da first stages of her life!! hope dis helps (hope it makes sense)) congrats on da birth of ur daughter and i hope tings works out 4 da best!! xx

Leyla - posted on 02/13/2012

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She's still at it! she's trying to get members of her family to sweet talk us, saying how much its hurting her- She's made her bed she can lie in it! you cannot do these things and say sorry i wasn't in a very good mood that day! i cannot believe the things that come out of their mouths! My partners grandma is having a 60th in may and if we havn't made friends with her by then its called off how about that to make us feel guilty and putting that on us!!! Were being treat like children!

Bronya - posted on 02/10/2012

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well murder has to be legal in some states?

Amanda - posted on 02/08/2012

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the only advice I can give is

"god give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the WISDOM to know the difference!"

My MIL is crazy and when she speaks I repeat that to my self.

She sounds like she should be 14... She should be happy she has a grandchild not be worried about getting attention...

(some ppl's children!!)

Rachael - posted on 02/07/2012

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Wow, I am so sorry! Congrats btw! I would personally cut ties. You dont want such a negative person bringing such negative things upon your daughter. Your job is to care for her and do whats best regardless of whom may get hurt. She sounds unstable!

Riette - posted on 02/06/2012

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You say that you don't have family! Yes you do, you have your partner and baby! That's all you need!

Valerie - posted on 02/06/2012

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First and foremost, super sorry about all the headaches you have been through. Having a baby is such a wonderful thing and I personally understand the frustration of not getting all the attention when you are the one delivering (my MIL made it all about her kids and was constantly telling me stories...drove me nuts). At any rate, this is about you.



Second, don't argue with her. She clearly needs some type of attention from all of this and gets it when you argue back with her. She's the victim (in her head) and if you feed into her negativity, you just make it harder on yourself. Whenever she says anything to you or does something negative, just say things like...ok, I know, alright, uh-huh. She won't be able to fight with you if you aren't fighting back.



Third, accept that you cannot change her. She is making threats and acting very inappropriate.



Finally, if she was nice at one point, chances are something happened to make her jealous of you and your partner. Have you guys tried to talk about the issues? If not, try sitting down with her and saying that you feel that there is a lot of tension between you both and that it has caused hurt feelings for both people. Decide for yourself what you truly want out of this situation. Do you want to get along with her or do you want revenge? If you want to just get along, then let go of all the crap that has happened. Ask her what is really bothering her and listen without getting defensive (this is harder to do than to say) but do your best. Sometimes just listening can be very helpful. And you have every right to say that you feel you have been hurt (don't blame or name call or be mean), just say how you fell. It sounds like you are hurt and feel a little targeted. Let her know that she is important to you and your partner and that you want to find a way to co-exist peacefully.



And if in the end you have done all this and she is still acting horribly, then realize that you are a better person, that you have done everything you can to help the situation, and accept that she may no longer be a part of your lives. And if this is the case, take comfort in the fact that your child will be better off than hers, and that your child won't have to grow up with a grandparent who is immature and incapable of acting like an adult.



Hang in there!! I'm sure this isn't easy with a baby and any extra stress it can put on your relationship with your partner.

Amanda - posted on 02/06/2012

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I agree - walk away and dont look back! She is so unstable right now, and with a new baby to take care of you dont need that stress in your life. She probably thinks that if she threatens you both you will stay, but she is in for a wake up call when you move on with your life, with out her. Good luck with your new baby! Enjoy her as she will grow up faster than you would like.

Leyla - posted on 02/06/2012

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Thankyou guys, I know thats the answer deep down I just needed reassuring and we are soon to be moving :) havnt much family support now which isn't all that good but iIneed to protect my family from this negativity.

Steffanie - posted on 02/06/2012

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I say voice record every conversation with her, She obviously has a major problem. Keep e-mails and voicemail messages, If she continues to threaten you then you should go to the poice. The more evidence you have the better it will be. Afterwards walk away and don't look back.

Natasha - posted on 02/05/2012

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I agree I would just walk a way and let it be what it is going to be maybe in time she will grow up but my MIL and I hate one another cuz she did the same kinda thing her and her family moved into a small town I lived in my joe life I got with her son and have been since 15 for me for years I bucked it up for my husband but after two baby boys we just about split over her so me and him made that big step to walk away and it's been good ever since she phones maybe once amonth sometimes not at all and it just works better that way good luck with her she seems and crazzy as what I have Delt with and Cungrats on your baby girl

Jodi - posted on 02/04/2012

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I'm with Michelle...walk away. Maybe one day she'll straighten out...and at that time you and your husband can decide if you want to continue a relationship...but right now she's not stable enough to have a healthy relationship with you two and your child and you need to protect your child from all this negativity.



Congrats on your baby girl! Girls are so wonderful and it sounds to me like your little girl has a pretty great mommy!

Brianna - posted on 02/04/2012

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i would get a lil voice recorder and secretly record everything she says and make sure u keep any emails ect that she sends u. shes sounds sooo crazy i feel bad for the baby shes about to have :(

Michelle - posted on 02/04/2012

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walk away and don't look back is my suggestion.