mother upset/dislikes new relationship

Cassie - posted on 11/14/2009

Thanks Betty that helped me a lot. I do have a good reason for deneying my daughter a relationship with her biological father... He's abusive, verbally, emotionally and physiaclly. He has really really bad anger problems and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he did something to my daughter.

Betty - posted on 11/14/2009

I don't see what the big deal is. Would your mother tell you to stop seeing her if she was sick and given 5 years to live? Your daughter needs a father figure in her life and if you are deneying her a relationship with her biological father(I hope you have a good reason for doing that) than the least you could do is provide her with someone else to look up to even if it is for a short period of time due to his health issues. You need to be happy and if something were to happen to this guy within the next couple of years it would hurt just as bad knowing you had missed your chance to be in his life. Your daughter will be OK with whatever happens as long as you are there for her.
People die all the time but we never learn because we keep forming friendships. What are we supposed to do, just not allow ourselves to get close to people? Your mom needs to get real!

Cassie - posted on 11/14/2009

Thanks Guys you all helped me a little bit figuring out what to say to my mother about the situation. I needed someones point of view that's not related to me or a firend.

Carolee - posted on 11/14/2009

I think the main concern from your mom's point of view is how your daughter is going to act when he dies. He is going to be the only father figure she knows at that point.



On the other hand, being happy is the best healer... even doctors say that. It's up to you, and it sounds like you truly love this guy. Doctors can be right, but they are often wront in their diagnoses of when people will die. Just be prepared, just in case, on how you're going to explain death to your daughter. Good luck, and I wish you the best. Try to talk to your mom again, let her know that you understand the graveness of his condition, and that you still love him anyway.

Krystal - posted on 11/14/2009

Its up to you. i believe that the fact that you no that his days might be numbered is benificial to the relationship because you guys will not hold anything back. you will give it your all and show him how much you love him. i would tell your mother the honest but brutal truth. what if for some reason she became paralized and had her days numbered, does she think its right that no one should love her because they will only be hurt in the end?? tell her everyone dies somehow some way and some day. that doesnt mean that your heart doesnt fall in love during that time.

I think its great that you have a big enough heart to look past the fact that he is limited in what he can do. if karma is true then you should be getting this back ten fold. good luck with your mother, if she gets to bad tell her thats why he's yours and not hers.

Shayna - posted on 11/14/2009

It is a hard situation, that is for sure. This guy need love just like anyone else. If you truly want to be with him than do so. To say he has 5 years left could (and most likely )is not the truth. I know someone who had 5 years to live & is now 11 years over that. You will find alot of people in that same situation that live and do MANY things that doctors thought they wouldn't/couldn't do. It's quite common actually.



You 2 could share more love and happiness in those 5 years that most people have in a life time. It is a hard decision, but follow your heart & gut instinct, and tell your mother the BUT out!

Kelli - posted on 11/14/2009

honestly i think you did the right thing. life is way to short to not be happy.

Cara - posted on 11/13/2009

You need to be happy.