Mouthy 8 yr old how do I stop it??

Michelle - posted on 08/18/2009 ( 79 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 8yrs old & no matter what I say to her she has always got something smart to say. I expect some of it but not to the point where it seems that she is telling me what she is going to do & then expects not to get in trouble for it. What is the best way t o handle a situation like that. I have tried grounding her from stuff she likes, sending her to her room, & putting her in the corner & nothing seems to work. How do I get it to stop...HELP PLEASE

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Lorinda - posted on 08/24/2009

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I have 5 and 7 year old girls as well as a 4 mo old son. With my girls I would give them a tsp of vinager if they told a lie and that worked real fast. We also believe in incentives so we have a star chart for both of them and they are rewarded at the end of the day for great behavior and doing chores w/o being asked. When they're charts are filled up we let them decide what we do as a family for an evening. It's a great incentive and gives us all something to look forward to. Always focus on the positive and don't dwell to much on the negative or your child will begin to think they're a "bad kid" and thinking like that leads to depression and other social problems.

Tashema - posted on 08/25/2009

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U need to woman up and beat her plain and simple because if u let her continue it will only get worse my child will not disrespect me in my home or in public she is 8 yrs old u are the mother she is not i have a 8 yr old and i dare her to disrespect me in any form or fashion she will b going to the dentist with all her teeth in cup sayn can u put these back in as other moms have said u need to beat her then take something away from her that is important then stick to ur guns dont give in because shell take u as a joke then get over on u all the time i wish u the best

Tabitha - posted on 08/24/2009

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I made my 8 y/o daughter write i will not be a smart mouth 100 times and when her friends called she would have to say " i am not allowed on the phone because i have a smart mouth and will not allowed on the phone again untill i can act like a little lady"

Kat - posted on 08/24/2009

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wow. this is quite a debate!

8 year old girls are mouthy. And it'll get worse as she hits puberty. The point is to let her know that, no matter how she feels about something, she needs to respects her parents and obey them. She won't stop completely, but that's okay. Your daughter is learning how to think for herself, which is an integral part of the growing-up process. Be patient with her and try to explain your side rationally. I guarantee that if you offer her respect, she's more likely to return it.

As far as the soap-in-the-mouth idea, that is child abuse, regardless of who says it is or isn't. Anything that can cause harm to a child is child abuse. Eating soap can make a person ill, hence the labels that say "keep out of reach of children."

Hot sauce and vinegar can go either way. a drop - not enough to cause any real damage - is fine, but a whole spoonful is not.

Smacking and spanking also depend on the conditions. Are you hitting out of anger or because you've tried everything else? Are you slapping just hard enough to be felt or hard enough to leave a mark? True, a bit of discomfort can aid in discipline, but a parent should never inflict actual pain on their child.

Time outs and loss of privileges are a good bet most of the time, but for some kids they just don't work. Try offering rewards for good behavior and taking away favorite items for bad behavior. Make her earn an allowance according to how well she behaves. Offer positive feedback when she does something right.

Every child is different, and it may take time to figure out how to discipline each one, but once you do, be consistent. And always say "I love you" and give a hug after you're the unpleasantness is over.

Good Luck!!

Jane - posted on 08/23/2009

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when she`s bad, give her a black garbage bag and make her pick up some of her things and then make her throw it away! ya it sounds hard, but then it`s less mess for you to pick up later haha!

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Lisa - posted on 05/29/2012

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i agree with brittanys comment on the friends; or the bad influences; it is extremly hard to follow through i will say though; when that bad influence lives right across the street. in summer its nearly impossible; but this summer i am determined- i will figure out a way come hell or high water!

Lisa - posted on 05/29/2012

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yes i have a close neighboorhood friend who uses the soap in the mouth with all FOUR of her kids; from age 5 to 11.i"ve threatned it; my daughter is 8 and has been getting mouthy also; last time she did i was sitting behing her braiding her wet hair for "waviness" for school the next day; she got lippy and i didnt hesitate to tap her cheek; not smacked; but really tapped... my husband doesnt agree when i do that; {i dont care-someone needs to disipline}- my daughter immeditly cries and says "thats child abuse!" {quote} i"ve smacked her on the behind; her reply "that didnt hurt". ive grounded her; 2 days afte grouding is over she gets mouthy again. i havent found a solution yet! but; my friend who uses the soap; i hate to admit it; her kids are "very well behaved" but; .when i do ground her i"ll ask "you do understand why your grounded; right?" "because i dispespected you and dad". so; she knows why; but why wont it stick?? i"ll take advice gladly.

Jalena - posted on 08/25/2009

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The 'experts' say to just be mouthy right back. If she ignores you, ignore her back. Something like reverse psychology. She won't like it being done to her therefore she should stop. Or to the corner she goes!! At least that's what I do when my 8 year old neice mouths off..

Larissa - posted on 08/25/2009

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Michelle, I am kind of in the same boat you as you only my son is 3 yrs old and does almost the same thing. I have tried time outs, talking to him, and all I do is get frustrated and then nothing works. I will let you know if I find something that works that might work for you. Right now I am just trying different things, that obviously don't see to work.

Jackie - posted on 08/24/2009

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i think its just stage my daughters going through it right now. i just remind her when she mouths off that im the boss and she will respect me. ill get eye level with her and talk with a stern voice. i know it sounds funny but it seems to work

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2009

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i have a mouthy 6 yr old and shes also very talkative in school so i have found that writing sentences works

Stacy - posted on 08/24/2009

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Hun you don't have to explain. That is not damaging. You didn't beat her or torture her. Don't second guess your self. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother who is doing her very best.

Stacy - posted on 08/24/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

And I would never really do that to her. The problem is, I've tried everything and nothing else worked. I was desperate one day and it's never been brought up again. She's been better since then, it was a matter of telling her that if she wants me to respect her in any way, she needs to respect me. Sorry if I didn't write it out more. It ended up as more of a discussion and it made a big improvement. She knows that I wouldn't do that, but it got my point across and I really needed that to happen. She has three younger siblings and they do everything she does, so it was spreading. Whenever my daughters, any of them have problems, they do come to me and we talk all the time...just a while back, the mouthing off was going way too far.


 

S. - posted on 08/24/2009

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you wont "stop" her,you just have to not let her know she as won you,stick to your gun's and dont back down.
my daughter is 10 now and a propper little madem. i also ground her and take away things like her d.s,or i'll stop her watching her t.v programs (she hates that) but it dose'nt stop her.i dont smack her anymore although i'm not against it i just think she's a little old.
i have brought her up well but it's just a kid thing she'll grow out of it...............when she's 18, good luck ur not on ur own

Sarah - posted on 08/23/2009

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My 8 year old is a tough one when it comes to discipline also and it just comes down to being consistant, which is haaard. but make sure if you always do what you say (if you say youre going to send her to her room, do it, every time. if you say youre going to go home if she keeps acting like this, stop what youre doing and go home) after a while she'll get it. if that doesnt help, the other thing that works for my kiddo is having her sit with her legs crossed and arms folded and stare at the wall for a few minutes. she is a kid and wants to be moving and playing and for her that is the worst punishment EVER. i tried having her wash the walls - she liked it, i tried parking her nose in the corner - she didnt mind, i tried having her write a list of the reasons why she shouldnt do what she did - she liked it, i tried talking to her about it - she ignored me and rolled her eyes... After a while of having her sit and stare for a few minutes, and being consistant she is much easier to get along with!

Brittany - posted on 08/23/2009

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Quoting Amie:

I read a couple of the replies and chose to stop after I heard people advocating for smacking your child. I am 100% against spanking and I will leave it at that.

My 9 year old gives attitude at times. Know where she gets it? Her friends, a few particular friends at that. I don't like telling her who she can and can't be friends with. She does deserve some freedom BUT there have been instances where she has been banned from seeing two particular kids because their behavior was so deplorable and their parents weren't going to do anything about it. So my daughter was no longer allowed to be around them. Her behavior rapidly improved after that.

She still has her days though, all kids do!! It does not make them a bad child and it does not make you a bad parent. Most kids get together and cause mischief. It's easy to spot the regular troublemakers though. Those are the ones my daughter is no longer allowed to see. My husband has even dragged the little buggers home only to have their parents go... Oh (insert name) would never do that. *eyeroll* Gimme a break. Even I don't think my child is an angel 100% of the time. Any parent claiming their child is too.. is either delusional or just a flat out liar. =)

So keep an eye out for her friends. Regular discipline, toys, extras (which include any extracurricular she may do, whether you pay for them or not, it's still a privilege not a right!) T.V. time, friend time, phone time, computer time, outside time, take away bikes, books, games, make a list of anything that's important to her.
For every infraction she gets a "black mark" after so many she loses ___ she keeps going she loses ___.

It takes time and patience but she'll get the message. If she has a trouble making friend rooting her on too you need to be extra firm. (and get rid of that kid too.) Hope it helps.


If you take away all her friends, who will she have to play with. You just said that all kids have their days, so how are you to decide which kids are "bad". You need to teach your daughter to respect you always and that will rub off on these "bad" kids. If we completely remove our children from "bad influences" or "bad kids", they will just become stuck up and think they are better than others. I doubt you want that. Eventually your children grow up and have to face the real world, unless you keep them hidden in your basement. If you raise them to "avoid" everyone, they won't know how to deal with the real world when they turn 18.

Kristy - posted on 08/23/2009

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just be firm with her let her no whos boss !!!

take fav things off her and stick to it!

stop her from going places like park and let her no why it helps to reword good behavior..

Amie - posted on 08/23/2009

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I read a couple of the replies and chose to stop after I heard people advocating for smacking your child. I am 100% against spanking and I will leave it at that.

My 9 year old gives attitude at times. Know where she gets it? Her friends, a few particular friends at that. I don't like telling her who she can and can't be friends with. She does deserve some freedom BUT there have been instances where she has been banned from seeing two particular kids because their behavior was so deplorable and their parents weren't going to do anything about it. So my daughter was no longer allowed to be around them. Her behavior rapidly improved after that.

She still has her days though, all kids do!! It does not make them a bad child and it does not make you a bad parent. Most kids get together and cause mischief. It's easy to spot the regular troublemakers though. Those are the ones my daughter is no longer allowed to see. My husband has even dragged the little buggers home only to have their parents go... Oh (insert name) would never do that. *eyeroll* Gimme a break. Even I don't think my child is an angel 100% of the time. Any parent claiming their child is too.. is either delusional or just a flat out liar. =)

So keep an eye out for her friends. Regular discipline, toys, extras (which include any extracurricular she may do, whether you pay for them or not, it's still a privilege not a right!) T.V. time, friend time, phone time, computer time, outside time, take away bikes, books, games, make a list of anything that's important to her.
For every infraction she gets a "black mark" after so many she loses ___ she keeps going she loses ___.

It takes time and patience but she'll get the message. If she has a trouble making friend rooting her on too you need to be extra firm. (and get rid of that kid too.) Hope it helps.

Brittany - posted on 08/22/2009

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Here are my opinions:

1.) Discipline your child at a young age (so they know who is boss) and they shouldn't fight you on it so much later in their life. I started rounghly 9-12 months. Start when they start giving you an attitude.

2.) I don't care whose child it is, I will not be talked to that way. I have friends that I help discipline their kids when I'm around. I will tell them, "Don't you talk to your mom that way. That's rude and disrespectful. Do you understand me?" They KNOW that I don't tolerate it and you shouldn't either.

3.) I spank my kid on the butt(for reminders to listen), thigh(when he is not reacting to the butt-he gets it on the bare thigh) , or across the face (for mouthing off, shrieking, and screaming). I don't care what "society" thinks, I will do it. I feel time outs in a corner, room, etc. do nothing. I feel it should be dealt with here and now. Punish then explain, that's what cops do. They hand you a ticket and then tell you what you got it for.

4.) Parents have authority over children-PERIOD! I don't care if it's my kid or a strangers, I will tell them when they are out of line (if they cross my path). Example being, one time at a local park (before my husband's softball game) these two boys were throwing a ball or something over the pathway. They did not stop throwing when people walked between them. I stopped walking and told them, "you stop throwing when people walk by, otherwise you are being inconciderate of everyone that walks through here." I never seen those kids before but they listened to me about it.

*I'm not saying to bruise your kids or break bones or kick them or anything of that sort. I'm saying handle them in a way that they will know who is boss-PERIOD! Some children cry from you just raising or deepening your voice, while others need a handful of spankings and soap in the mouth. By the way, after they taste the bar of soap, you can tell them that next time will be the liquid kind. My older brother got liquid soap once in his mouth and didn't mouth off for almost 7 years after that (until 17 or so).

Lori - posted on 08/22/2009

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I have the same problem with my 4 year old. She is a mini adult me. Litterally sometimes I catch myself arguing with her back and forth and she will never stop. Until I talked to the her school pychologist and she told me that's the attention my daughter wants good or bad. And that I had to ignore it. That I couldn't give in to her no matter how long she cried or whined or screamed. We do this 1-2-3 Magic thing where I have a timer and when my daughter acts up she sits down and I start the timer when she stops throwing a fit. Everytime she keeps going, the timer keeps stopping and when she stops crying I start it again. She may get upset. But at least she knows no matter how long she cries, she will not win with that attitude. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Its all about staying on top of it. Take away something they really like, But the more you argue, the more they see...Wow I got Mommys attention. I go through it everyday with my 4 year old. Some days are good, others are bad : ) Be consistent and redirect bad attitude with something else. Maybe a chart would help, everytime she listens to mommy she gets a sticker on a chart and at the end of the week, get a prize for behavior. Doesnt have to be toys or expensive..it could be maybe just Mommy time, coloroing, watching a movie, doing something special together. Whatever you two decide on. It's a learning process both hard and frustrating, but I bet you will definetly get through it. Some days I want to rip my hair out other days Im like wow something is working. Just keep at it!!! Good Luck!

April - posted on 08/22/2009

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My son is 10 and the same way. I have tried all sorts of different punishments also, unfortunately I have yet to find the answer. I think we have to keep doing the best we can to teach them better and remind ourselves that it's probably just a phase. We also have to realize that it may get worse before it gets better.

Bottom line... you are not alone. Lots of kids push the line the same way ours do.

Lisa - posted on 08/22/2009

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I don't agree with punishing a child with a slap to the face or hot sauce/soap in the mouth because most likely she learned it from you..I know my daughter is a mini me..I have to make sure she doesn't watch certain shows on TV play certain video games listen to certain music, etc..Also I don't care about the way ppl talk when they are in front of their children but when you are in front of mine you just need to respect me by watching your mouth as much as you can because she likes to copy what you say..also I learned that if I make her "hold up the wall" positioned like a cop is searching her on a wall or door for five minutes this is worse than time out because it makes her tired! try this hun let me know if it helps I KNOW IT HAS HELPED A FEW OF MY FRIENDS CHILDREN!! SO IT IS A PROVEN METHED!

Dametria - posted on 08/21/2009

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the thing about these so-called studies that people dont know is that they are one-sided. The experts already go into the studies with biased opinions. They just happen to go to a prison and ask a prisoner have they been spanked!!! What a load of crap!! Did they go to Harvard and ask those children the same question? The answer is NO NO NO NO!!! Do you know how I know this? I did a 20 page research paper for my University on spanking. The ones on here saying dont spank your children are the ones that (1) Didnt discipline their children at all, so when it came down to punishing them, they were sooooo mad that they ended up going too far, and ABUSING their children, or (2) are telling you "NEVER HIT YOUR CHILD" but are spanking their child at that very moment! ;) Dont let anyone judge you here sweety. If a parent's children are THAT out of control where they have to go read a book by a source whom they dont actually know is reliable, they're in a pretty bad situation to where they shouldnt be on here giving ANY advice!!... this last part is just my opinion though...LOL!!

Katarina - posted on 08/21/2009

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A little story to tell as an example. When my Fiance was young he was brought home in the back of a squad car. The Policeman told my mil "to smack him in the ass every once in a while to straighten him out." My mil had never hit him before and that night was the last night he came home in the back of a squad car

Katarina - posted on 08/21/2009

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Quoting DAWN:



Quoting Angelique:




Quoting DAWN:





Quoting Sam:






Quoting DAWN:

let her sit with a bar of soap in her mouth. if she is going to get bitter then make her taste something bitter. Give her a quick sharp smack on the cheek. worked for me.












i don't think thats helpfull. if she waned to resort that method she would have just done it instead of asking for advice.















hey chicky, she asked for advice and I gave mine. If you do not like it don't read it. maybe she has tried it before and maybe not but it is not for you to say if something is helpful or not okay. I dont see a your not helpful button below my screen, do you?













Once the child is taught in school that it's wrong, they can turn a parent in for abuse simply by speaking up...and they're going to listen. It has been dubbed as "child abuse" because it's hitting a child in the face It can lead to mental abuse...leading to the child being more tolerant of physical abuse from others, even those from outside of the family...or the child dealing it out themselves to "teach a lesson".








Yes, you have given advice. But there are better answers than resorting to hitting someone...









Well whatever, who are you to say I am wrong? are you the law? It is ok to spank and slap kids and the reason why kids today are so out of line is because parents are scared to do anything due to "child abuse laws" seriously parents with that mentality that their child can turn them in are just being played like a fiddle.





I completely agree with you! 20 years ago children weren't nearly as mouthy as they are today. These new "child abuse laws" are being taken out of control. What's wrong with a smack on the back side for doing something wrong? or hot sauce? I used to be told to go "pick my spoon' and I'd get hit with it across my rear-end. Hot sauce was used for mouthing off. It worked for our family, and I turned out just fine. We don't have any murderers or mommy haters. It's been proven to make a difference to the way a child behaves. I've seen it time and time again through my profession that those that "discipline" their children are better behaved during the day then those who are "afraid" of their child turning them in.  In no way should hitting EVER leave a red mark on a child, but a little tap never hurt anyone.



As for an 8 year old girl they all do it. They're at te beginning of puberty. Fix it now before it gets worse. Stay consistent with w/e way you choose to go. She'll quickly figure out if your not. 

Charnetta - posted on 08/21/2009

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i absolutly agree with "Dametria Farris" u carried ur daughter for 9 months pushed her out, buy her everything she needs and what she wants, u live 4 her and 4 her 2 disrespect u is out of the question beat her ass. long as u dont over do it and beat her 2 death than u aint going to no jail. u go through all that (pregnancy, labor, working 4 her etc) jus 4 someone 2 say u cant spank ur child- yeah right!!! lmao.

Tara - posted on 08/21/2009

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Sorry guys, I am just getting the hang of this posting thing! I think I posted under the wrong person, but hopefully you get the gist of what I was trying to convey :)

Tara - posted on 08/21/2009

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That is exactly what I was going to suggest Tammy! My eight year old will occasionally come home from school and demand or state something, and I always stop and respond with, "Excuse me? How should you have phrased that?" "Start over and remember who you are talking to", and if I get eye rolling or no proper response, then she goes to bed after dinner that night. It seems to work pretty well for me, but you have to stick with it until they get that you are serious! Good luck!

Kandie - posted on 08/21/2009

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I have a 10yr old daughter who has tried the same thing. The only thing you can do is when she talks back remind her who she is speaking to, talk with her and allow to talk to you too to make sure she understands. Children learn by example if she is seeing talking back with other family members or even between you and your husband then she will try it as well. Reward her for respectful behavior, and I'm not saying go buy her stuff or feed her junk; give her mommy and me time, give her a hug and remind her how much she means to you. This is a stage as long as you are firm and rewarding she will grow out of it. Don't do soap and hot sauce you just get very gressive children then.

Robin - posted on 08/21/2009

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Dangit! I hate that reply with quote thing, cuz it ain't workin!!

Anyways.. that is so true! Where are these SO CALLED experts when those same kids who were never spanked (correctly), OR never beaten or abused a day in their lives.. are smacking THEIR parents around, or killing people?? (And I hope that came out right. I DO NOT, repeat DO NOT condone abuse!!!)

Robin - posted on 08/21/2009

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Quoting Dametria:



yes, every child is different, but people need to stop letting these so-called experts tell them whats good for their children!!! Most of these experts dont even have children!!!




Dametria - posted on 08/21/2009

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Quoting DAWN:



Quoting Angelique:




Quoting DAWN:





Quoting Sam:






Quoting DAWN:

let her sit with a bar of soap in her mouth. if she is going to get bitter then make her taste something bitter. Give her a quick sharp smack on the cheek. worked for me.












i don't think thats helpfull. if she waned to resort that method she would have just done it instead of asking for advice.















hey chicky, she asked for advice and I gave mine. If you do not like it don't read it. maybe she has tried it before and maybe not but it is not for you to say if something is helpful or not okay. I dont see a your not helpful button below my screen, do you?













Once the child is taught in school that it's wrong, they can turn a parent in for abuse simply by speaking up...and they're going to listen. It has been dubbed as "child abuse" because it's hitting a child in the face It can lead to mental abuse...leading to the child being more tolerant of physical abuse from others, even those from outside of the family...or the child dealing it out themselves to "teach a lesson".








Yes, you have given advice. But there are better answers than resorting to hitting someone...









Well whatever, who are you to say I am wrong? are you the law? It is ok to spank and slap kids and the reason why kids today are so out of line is because parents are scared to do anything due to "child abuse laws" seriously parents with that mentality that their child can turn them in are just being played like a fiddle.





Once the child is taught in school that it's wrong, they can turn a parent in for abuse simply by speaking up...and they're going to listen. It has been dubbed as "child abuse" because it's hitting a child in the face It can lead to mental abuse...leading to the child being more tolerant of physical abuse from others, even those from outside of the family...or the child dealing it out themselves to "teach a lesson".



Yes, you have given advice. But there are better answers than resorting to hitting someone...




Where did you learn that from? Did you read that from one of those childless "experts" (laugh) riiiiight!!

Dametria - posted on 08/21/2009

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yes, every child is different, but people need to stop letting these so-called experts tell them whats good for their children!!! Most of these experts dont even have children!!!

Robin - posted on 08/21/2009

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LOL! I put a reply in with that.. but it didn't show up!
I agree that there is nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it's not abusively. I think there is too much stigma put on the old remedy of spanking your child. It's not abuse.. it's correcting.. if used right.
However, if you have a child that laughs at you when you spank, or it just DOESN'T work.. then you have to resort to something else.

Robin - posted on 08/21/2009

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Quoting Dametria:



i find it HILARIOUS that there are sooo many people are resorting to putting soap, hot sauce, etc. in the child's mouth! Spank her!! There i said it. I said what everybody is scared to say!! I dont have a problem with anybody's method, unless its outright abuse, but for pete's sake spank her!! My mom always told me, "Im not your friend. Im your mom. You have enough friends. You have ONE mom!!"




Dametria - posted on 08/21/2009

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i find it HILARIOUS that there are sooo many people are resorting to putting soap, hot sauce, etc. in the child's mouth! Spank her!! There i said it. I said what everybody is scared to say!! I dont have a problem with anybody's method, unless its outright abuse, but for pete's sake spank her!! My mom always told me, "Im not your friend. Im your mom. You have enough friends. You have ONE mom!!"

Jessica - posted on 08/21/2009

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I got flicked/popped in the mouth, "ate" (bit) soap when I was a kid. I was not affected as a teen or adult, nor do I have "mental issues". When my son gets smart mouthy, he is 4, he gets flicked/popped in the mouth...some kids you can time out till your blue in the face. The flicking works for my kids. Sorry for those of you who dont like it. I also agree with Sueneanya....i'm an adult and you dont talk to me that way.

Dametria - posted on 08/21/2009

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First of all, this is gonna have to b your call because we have people who spank the children (not smacking them in the face) like me, and you have others who are soo into being their child's friend their children are just completely out of control! Idk if you have ever spanked your child, but to me, a combination of spanking (not abusing) and some of the other stuff these other moms use, work for me!! You CANNOT wait until your child gets too old to decide that you are gonna spank them. It just isn't gonna work! So, to sum my answer up...I dont know what you're gonna do! I dont have this problem because my son, neices, nephews, etc. KNOW not to go too far with me! Y? I started with them young.

Jovilyn Lizaso - - posted on 08/21/2009

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First of all we can't stop it. You need to accept the fact that your daughter is smart. Every time she says something it means she already knows what the consequence is. I believe all we need to do is to constantly be on her side to also explain the things that she says. You just need to be there for her to simply expound what is wrong or what is right in what she says. You need to be thankful she was not born otherwise

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2009

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Lol, my daughter isn't there yet...but I'm saving that one! I have a feeling I'll need it when she starts dating.

Melissa - posted on 08/20/2009

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What worked with my niece while she was here SHE IS 14 I TOOK HER MAKE UP AND HAIR STRAIGHTNER away for one week, she does'nt need it but to her she does and it effected her entire life for that week. IT WORKED! Her mom was so glad.

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2009

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My mom was the same way and my sisters too. They would listen to my phone conversations and tell everyone in my family about my private conversations with my bf, now husband. So, I wouldn't really do it, just got desperate one day. Lol, she knows now and has done a bit of growing up, so I'm glad for that...cause I really don't like punishing them, just grounding and taking stuff away never works with her.

Melissa - posted on 08/20/2009

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I am so not judging I just know how it is to be humiliated by my parents so if I could ever stop a child from the same treatment I SO would lol. My mom read my diary to my BF at 13!!! You can not trust a mom after that not even for little things not to mention the HUGE things that every girl needs there mom for.

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2009

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And I would never really do that to her. The problem is, I've tried everything and nothing else worked. I was desperate one day and it's never been brought up again. She's been better since then, it was a matter of telling her that if she wants me to respect her in any way, she needs to respect me. Sorry if I didn't write it out more. It ended up as more of a discussion and it made a big improvement. She knows that I wouldn't do that, but it got my point across and I really needed that to happen. She has three younger siblings and they do everything she does, so it was spreading. Whenever my daughters, any of them have problems, they do come to me and we talk all the time...just a while back, the mouthing off was going way too far.

Melissa - posted on 08/20/2009

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Michelle I mean no disrespect however I do not feel embaressing a child or threatning to embarress could do any thing beneficial, could actually mentally harm the child, to me children have many bullies at the park at the school they do not need one at home, we are the parents they should be able to come to us when being bullied or hurt, not try to get away from us.

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2009

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Does your daughter use the computer? Does she email or anything? I tried all that stuff on my oldest, she's 10 now going on 11...but I told her since I have the password to her email if she didn't start behaving and treat me with respect, I would send out embarassing photos to all of her friends.

Kimberly - posted on 08/20/2009

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I have an 8 yr old son and he also at times was very disrespectful and mouthy to me when he didnt get what he wanted however around everyone else he was a perfect angel. He had a difficult young life at first because i was 19 when i had him, his father was abusive and my parents divorced after 20 yrs of marriage and they both moved to a different state. I therefore felt guilty for having to work all the time as a single parent and sending him off to babysitters so I would spoil him constantly and always give in just to feel like hes happy so I could be happy. Finally now we are doing good, I am engaged to a wonderful man and we just bought a house and my son has a good life however i realized I created a monster and even though things were happy he still would treat me like that even in public (absolutely humiliating!!) Thank god for My Fiancee who made me realize the only reason he acts like that is because i keep giving in and he is accustomed to it and knows how to get what he wants from me and how to push my buttons. So you have to be stern, NEVER give in, set limitations and take away their "prized possesions". It will not happen instantly and it will be a long hard struggle for you, IGNORE the tantrums!!! (IT WILL BE HARD) and eventually your child will get the point and it will stop.

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