My 11 month old will not go to sleep by himself

Melissa - posted on 09/15/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I give him a bottle and he falls asleep in my arms, so I go to lay him in his bed and he wakes up and screams when I walk out the door. He does this for naps and in the middle of the night. Help!!! What am I supposed to do?

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Nicole - posted on 09/17/2009

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I am going throught the same thing at the moment with my 16mth old. She started doing it when we went on holidays, and continued doing it until last week when I decided enough is enough and made her learn to sleep on her own again. The first night it took her 1hr 20min to go to sleep and 25mins in her day sleep and now 1 week later she goes to sleep on her own, all I did was put her down gave big kisses and cuddles and walked out. I only went in after every 5,10mins, it was real hard but so worth it. GOOD LUCK

Jessica - posted on 09/16/2009

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I know what your going through! And I know its hard, my son does the same thing. I have read that putting your baby down when he is almost asleep but not yet out is the best thing to do. Apparently they did studies and it showed that babies that were not held to be put to sleep and then layed down while the mom tried to sneak away, actually stayed alseep longer and woke up significantly less. So thats what i have been trying to do with my son and it actually works...sometimes lol but i will hold him and feed him then hold him until he gets really groggy and then lay him down and if he seems wide awake i just put my hand on his chest and it seems to really comfort him. but if he really wakes up and starts crying i will let him cry for a few minutes then i will try to comfort him (not holding him) and keep doing it unless he screams bloody murder then i will just start the whole process over again. So far he has made his own schedule and he has been sleeping through the night or waking once and thats it. Sorry its so long lol but i hope it works!

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oh honey.. you're going to have to let her cry, sorry to say, it won't harm her though and she'll still love you in the morning and you'll love her even more b/c ur well rested lol.. its ok shes quite old enough to do it

Cassandra - posted on 09/15/2009

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Happened to me too. I started to feed laying closely beside him laying down on the bed (curtains drawn). That way when he fell asleep I could gently slip away. Usually worked, sometimes it didn't but eventually I became a master :)

September - posted on 09/15/2009

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I personally don't agree with the "crying it out" method. My 11 month old son is also having some sleeping problems recently. He went from going to bed at 9pm and sleeping until 7am to now going to bed any where between 9 and 11pm and waking up between 3 and 4am wanting to come into our bed. I've been in touch with his doctor and he thinks it's because he is about to hit a major milestone (turning 1) and also the fact that he just learned to walk a week ago which can also throw off their eating and sleeping habits. My guess is that your son is going threw some kind of change and wants some extra comfort from his Mommy :) I know that it can get very hard at times....I don't think that I've slept throught the night in a very long time but rest assure it will not always be this way :) Hang in! I hope that things get better for you.

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Danell - posted on 09/17/2009

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my advice is to start early. my son is 17 moths and when you ask him if he wasnts to go to bed he walks in their and waits. i did have to breake him of the hole holding thing and just a littel at a time holde him untill hess really asleep and then lay him down. if he wakes up lay him back down and pat his back and he will fall asleep he will get ues to it and then you slowly dont do it any more untill he likes to go to bed. also dont let them leep as long as they normaly wold in the day time so hes ready for bed at night. i did alittel of allof this and he now takes napes and then hes ready for bed time too. get the whole routine thing down. give him a bath and then rock him and then put him down that way he knows that after his bath its bed time and hell get ues to it and hell get better at you not being their.

Sarah - posted on 09/17/2009

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dont let him fall asleep in your arms because as soon as he gets put down onto a cold sheet he will wake up and think omg whats happened i was so comphy and warm! and then want it back...so i surgest that you feed then burp him and keep him uo for a little bit by singing carmly to him or walking around the room a little bit then after bout 5 mins or so rap him firmly in his blankets and put him down to sleep awake start by sitting in his room while he falls asleep so he can see you but dont pick him up at all if you need to settle him do it by patting him gently on the tummy or back..gradally do it night by night getting further and further out the door hope ive helped darl

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yes, i agree tara. i love that my boys are happy to go to bed! its no stress or struggle whatsoever.. and theyre well behaved b/c they get enough sleep!

Tara - posted on 09/16/2009

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my lil girl went through this for a little while and I started out with intervals like I would rock her and then tuck her in and if she cried I would wait 5 min then I would go in and pick her up and rock her in her room ( walk around with her) for a minute or two and then tell her "it's time to go to bed" and tuck her in again then I would wait 10 minutes and do it again. Now she goes to bed great and has her lovies that have to be with her and sometimes I 'll hear her start to cry a little bit but she quiets down after not even a minute and I'll hear her talking to herself and her lovies for maybe ten minutes at most.



It's important for children to be able to self soothe a little bit

Melissa - posted on 09/16/2009

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Thanks ya'll! I have been trying the cry it out method and it seems to be getting better. Thanks for all the advice!

Angela - posted on 09/15/2009

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Babies need there long bouts of sleep for brain development and growth. I didn't believe in CIO either, until I tried it. I was a co sleeping, breastfeeding momma. We let our daughter CIO at 8months old, it took 3 days. She is now a year, she has never woken in the middle of the night since than. She goes down for naps perfectly. If you go to them, just once, they learn and they take advantage. You here these women on here " I also don't agree with CIO Method and my daughter is 16mo old and we still have issues with sleep. "

Well I tried CIO, and nobody in my family liked it, parents, grandparents, and what do you know IT WORKED! and now my little Nora, loves going to bed and naps.

Here are the rules:
You have to keep the same routine, bottle, bath, book, bed, or whatever the routine is,but it CANT BE CHANGED.

Dont ever keep the baby out passed the b edtime to go to walmart or anything, that is selfish, and until they have a steady routine it may hurt your chances of success.


CIO takes some guts and it takes a constant reminder in your head, this too shall pass, and this is going to work out, but you have to be consistent. Every night they will cry less and less, they learn quick. My daughter is a screamer, and it worked for her.

Melissa! Try it out girl, and watch the miracle unfold. I am the oldest of 6 kids and have my own daughter and can tell you that sometimes parenting is counter intuitive. When you want them to wake up later in the morning, sometimes your put them to bed earlier, when your instinct would be to put them to bed later.

Deidre - posted on 09/15/2009

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*hugs* I know it is super tough :( I also don't agree with CIO Method and my daughter is 16mo old and we still have issues with sleep. The first step I believe you need to take care of is him *not* falling asleep in your arms. His comfort tools right now are mommy and bottle, why would he want to change that? So changing slowly may be the best bet (which will take a while). Have you read the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"? If not, it is a really great book and I've heard you can borrow it from a local library, and that may help with getting him to learn to fall asleep on his own. I always start a new sleep-time routine at bedtime, not naptime. For me personally it is easier (and I'm not talking middle of the night waking but during bedtime routine). Good Luck! I promise it won't last forever, this too shall pass!

Christle - posted on 09/15/2009

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it will be hard just keep going it broke my heart too i know it kills but eventully t will work keep with it routine good luck hope everything goes alright

Melissa - posted on 09/15/2009

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I do make him cry, but should it take 2 hours everytime? This has been going on for several days. It's killing me!

Christle - posted on 09/15/2009

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let him cry it out i know it sounds horrible but my daughter was 16 months abd wouldnt sleep i went in gave her a cup ut the music on and let her cry obviously if she cries hard go in and pick her up trust m it works after 2 nights she would go to bed by herself hope this helps good luck

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