My 19 month old son and a toddler bed???

Cheryl - posted on 09/28/2009 ( 55 moms have responded )

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My son is not ready for a toddler bed, he gets into everything from the moment he wakes up till the moment he goes to sleep. He is not climbing out of his crib not showing any signs of being ready for a toddler bed, yet his father would like overnight visits, and bought a toddler bed. And is demanding that he stayes over. I do not know if I feel comfortable doing this, in my house let alone in his! Help!

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Ashley - posted on 09/28/2009

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19 months does seem a little early for a toddler bed. My son was 2 and we got him a twin and gaurd rails so the baby could use the crib. He wouldn't fall asleep in the bed because he wanted to get up and play. U may be asking for a lot of headaches with a toddler bed that early. "Suppernanny" said age 3 for a big bed on one of her episodes. I don't know if that really helps

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Terria - posted on 10/07/2009

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Maybe if you could have a conversation with the father and explain to him how you feel that he is not ready for a toddler bed and maybe he will understand.

Keegan - posted on 10/06/2009

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Demanding visits.... well unless he has a court order saying he is allowed to have over night visits you don't have to let him do this. Also.... I agree with everyone else. If he isn't ready for a toddler bed than he shouldn't have one. Try to talk to the father again about it. Seriously thou, if he doesn't have a court document stating that he is entitled to overnight visits, then you don't have to let him have any.

Sarah - posted on 10/06/2009

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My daughter is 18 months and is in a toddler bed and does great! Give it a go once or twice and see how it goes, then take it from there.

Brandy - posted on 10/02/2009

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I put my oldest in a toddler bed at 10 months. My sister waited til about 22 months to put her daughter in one and my twins are almost 15 months and are still in cribs. So it all depends on the kid I guess.

Taylor - posted on 10/02/2009

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You need to talk to him about it, maybe suggest that he use a pack-and-play as an alternative to the toddler bed until your son is more ready for it. As long as he is responsible enough to have your son over night in the first place, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You may even learn that your son was more ready than you thought.

Sheila - posted on 10/02/2009

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My son is almost 18 months but is tall for his age. My husband and I converted his crib into a toddler bed almost a month ago with no problem. He climbed right in and layed down to go to sleep. we put a baby gate in his doorway so that he cant get up at night and rome around the house. He does wake up some nights and cry a little bit at the gate but we think it is do to teething. all we do is walk him back to his bed and lay him down and he goes back to sleep. hope this helps.

Brittany - posted on 10/01/2009

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if he has the guard rails on it he should be ok. but you need to stress to him that your son could seriosly hurt himself, even if he doesn't think so. A child moves around alot in their sleep so i don't think that is a good idea. Take him with you to your son's pediatrician & ask this question with his dad present & see what he/she says

Kayla - posted on 10/01/2009

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We put our son in his toddler bed shortly after his 1st birthday. He was shaking his crib so bad that he actually popped out a couple screws that held it together (he is a VERY strong little boy). We haven't had any problems with it. He knows when we lay him down for a nap or bedtime that it is time for bed, and he doesn't get out until we either open his door or go into his room.

Alissa - posted on 10/01/2009

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I would recommend a pack n play, they're inexpensive and comparable to a crib.

Brandee - posted on 10/01/2009

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I would recommend the dad get a crib until you both decide to transition to a toddler bed.. Otherwise I think it will confuse your son and make him feel unsecure.. We are leaving Brandon in his crib until he gets closer to 2 years old.

Christina - posted on 10/01/2009

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Quoting Cheryl:

Thank you all for your help! I have 3 weeks to get him into a bed at my home. Just saw my lawyer today!

So I hope in 3 weeks I will not have to worry as much



As long as you think he is ready, dont force it, but praise him.  and i am glad you are starting at home, he wont be so scared when he goes to dads now and sees the big boy bed.



I hope all goese well! 



Good Luck!!

Melinda - posted on 10/01/2009

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My daughter was put into a normal bed when she was 12 months because she kept getting out of the crib. My son however, was put into a normal bed at 11 months and did just find, just put a bed rail on it. It makes them sooo proud..... They were walking when I put them into the bed...

Heather - posted on 09/30/2009

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you know you're baby best!!! ive heard (and seen) babies in toddler beds, anywhere from 15 mo. to 3 yrs. It all depends on your baby, and whether or not they are able to sleep well in a toddler bed, if they tend to get into things, and most of all, if you're comfortable with it! From the sounds of it, he doesn't seem ready, no need to rush anything! You'll no when he's ready!

Cheryl - posted on 09/30/2009

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Thank you all for your help! I have 3 weeks to get him into a bed at my home. Just saw my lawyer today!



So I hope in 3 weeks I will not have to worry as much

Mel - posted on 09/30/2009

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i put my daughter (21 months) in a big bed recently. the first week she was very excited and would climb in and out until late at night when she would finally fall asleep. the excitement has finally worn of now and she will happily stay in her bed. just make sure there is nothing in the room that your lil one can get into or hurt him self with and keep the bedroom door closed so they can not escape and cause havoc :). if you still feel uncomfortable or he is having trouble settling make sure you have the cot set up in another room so you can always go back to it. maybe have a talk to the father about getting a porta cot to have near the bed in case he has the same issues. good luck hope this helps

Mariana - posted on 09/30/2009

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I think he is too young for a toddler bed. It's funny because my husband wants us to get one but out son is only 16 months old. Maybe if he gets rails for the sides it would be safe for him.

Amanda - posted on 09/30/2009

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My daughter started sleeping in a toddler bed at 11 months. I made sure to baby proof every area that would be accessible to her when she would be out and about. I would allow the toddler bed as most children are ready for one at that age and make sure the father puts up a baby gate in the room your son would be in and make sure that only toys are in your sons reach.

Christina - posted on 09/30/2009

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My son was in a Toddler bed at 16 months. we lived in a very small 2 bedroom house trying to find a bigger place, and we have my husbands middle 3 kids every other weekend. he was also trying to climb out of his crib. we moved him into the "big kids room" we made a HUGE deal out of it telling him he was a big boy now and big boys sleep in big boy beds. The bed was agianst the wall on the top and 1 side and we had a rail on the other side. the only way on or off was from the bottom. ( I was also preg with my second son so i needed him to be settled in the toddler bed before i gave it to the new baby, i didn't want issues) He has done great with it from the begining. now he has his own room with a "Big boy" bed and a babygate. he loves it.

But i do agree, double check the baby proofing, dads dont think of as many dangers as we moms do. He does need to start at his own home. And when he does go to dads I agree that he sould be in dads room or a baby proofed room with a babygate, and maybe a baby monitor depending on how far away the room is. my son entertains himself when he gets up from naptime with the stuffed animals i allow in his room. it kinda helps me finish up what i am doing then i get him up.

It all reallly depends on each child and how the child feels. all kids are diffrent just like we are. you know him, you know what he can and cannot do. Also believe in him. and praise him for it. You are mom trust your instincts.

Lacey - posted on 09/30/2009

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hmm..you can tell him to get a crib. i got my son a toddler bed at 18 months and he seems to being fine.

Jennie - posted on 09/30/2009

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Well Im not sure I agree, the baby will do what you teach him and train him to do, My son is the same age as your son and I had to put him in a toddler bed. The first few nights were tough he would climb out and go to sisters room and climb in bed with them. So I did the whole baby gate thing, I put a baby gate up blocking his door so he would be contained, at least a lil bit. Then I worked on him staying in his bed, he would climb out, id say NO lay down, and Id put him back in bed.. First night I did it for about an hour or so, Second night about 45 minutes, 3rd night for like 15 and now he stays in their and I dont even need the baby gate anymore. He knows that is his little place and he likes it!!!

Susan - posted on 09/30/2009

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You are the Mom go with what your inner vioce tells you. From what I read he is not ready and neither are you. The crib is safer. Men don't hear children as well as Mom's. It is a proven fact by Doctors.

GLORIA - posted on 09/30/2009

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MY SON IS NOW 2 1/2 ANS HAS BEEN IN THE LITTLE TIKES TODDLER BED SINCE HE WAS 15 MONTHS. HE NEVER GAVE ME A PROBLEM THOUGH THE SECOND NITE HE SLEPT ON IT HE DID ROLL OF THE FRONT BUT HE THEN KNEW NOT TO MOVE TO CLOSE TO THE FRONT OF THE BED. i THINK ITS BETTER TO TRANSITION HIM EARLY CUZ THEN LATER ON HES NOT GOING TO WANT TO MOVE TO A BIG BOY BED...

Andrea - posted on 09/30/2009

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If you don't feel comfertable tell him you concern about the bed. You can tell him that it is sweat that he thought ahead and bought a bed for him but could you use a porta crib just till I have him switch over to a toddler bed. If you don't think he will agree to useing a porta crib for a lil bit you can always do some research and show him that it just might too soon.



http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-and-wh...

Destiny - posted on 09/30/2009

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My son has been in a toddler bed since 12 months. It took him about two weeks of getting up and being put back in bed before he started staying. He no longer gets up unless he wakes up in middle of the night. He is a child that gets into EVERYTHING and is always taking stuff but at night time now he knows its time to stay in bed.

Pia - posted on 09/30/2009

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I don't know the situation with your son's father, but if he is going to have him for a night and your son is not ready for a bed, the father will soon learn this.

It's him who will lose sleep and have to deal with it through the night! Just make sure that it is a safe environment for your son!

Your son may surprise you though, he may really like the bed!

Kerin - posted on 09/29/2009

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It's vital that you get his dad to cooperate with you. He should have just bought a converter crib. I don't know why men have to be so stubborn. I didn't move either of my boys until after they were already 2. I've still struggling with my now 2 year old Jacob to get him to stay in his bed. The night before last I went to check on the boys and Jacob had EVERY toy in his bed that he could possibly fit. Sometimes I debate having my dad come over to switch it back lol. When I did switch Jacob's bed I talked to his father about it and he did it at the same time.

Megan - posted on 09/29/2009

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My daughter was about 13 months old when we put her in a toddler bed. It was an adjustment, but it only took about a week. I put her in there for naps and shut the door. If he can open the door I would recommend a safety lock for the door that way he can't get out and get into anything while people are sleeping. Ava slept on the floor for a couple of days and then realized that she can get back in her bed whenever she wants. I would definately make sure his room is child proofed and that the door stays shut. Good Luck,

Megan

Ashley - posted on 09/29/2009

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i agree with becky roberts, my son is only 18 months and he is already sleeping in a toddler bed, he does very well with it. i just make sure that i have the baby gate in his door way when he sleeps because if he wakes up before me i know he will not fall down the steps(our bedrooms are upstairs). the only thing i say to do cheryl is try it out if it does not work then switch back, all children are different. like someone else said if the father wants to have him sleep in a toddler bed so be, because it is his problem if your son does not do well because he instead of buying a crib or pack and play he bought a toddle bed. hope this helps.

Jacqueline - posted on 09/29/2009

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i had a crib that goes into the toddler bed. m daughter is 15 months old and has been in the toddler bed for just over a month. We put a twin bed on the floor next to her bed and she started off there most the time, now she goes right into her bed adn cuddles and sleeps through the night. we have a gate on her door so if she is up she cant get into anything...the only concern with the gate, is some morning she doesnt let any one know she is awake and makes a mess by taking her diaper off...but other than that the transistion was a lot easier than I expected. Consistancy is definately the best for a child. They should have the same routine at both parents houses so whether you switch to the bed or he swithes to a crib, its your choice but you two need to talk it out and decide what is best for him.

Jaimee - posted on 09/29/2009

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can he get a portable cot, i think he will be in for a long night if he puts bubs in a todd bed, but i dont see how it could harm your bubs to put bubs in a todd bedit just means that bubs may not sleep for him. maybe if you explain that point he may understand?

Rebecca - posted on 09/29/2009

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do you have a playpen you could send along to his fathers until he is ready so his father can be granted his wish of overnight visits?

Veronica - posted on 09/29/2009

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in your case i agree a crib is prefect.. i had to put my son in a toddler bed at 10.5 months cause he was threwing himself out of a crib...if he insists on a toddler bed hes gotta be in the sam room as him and KID proofed to no end

Christine - posted on 09/29/2009

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i have a 1 year old and a 2 year old i have just put my 2 year old in a big bed and but thats only because i have 2 older kids so she has her bed pushed up next to the wall but if i did have the older kids i would still have her in a cot only because its easy to keep them in bed while your still sleeping let him have an over night visit then let him see just how much stuff he will get into then i am sure he will be going out and getting a cot or a porta cot but i the end its up to you so do what you think is the best for you

Chelsea - posted on 09/29/2009

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Buy a portable crib if you do not want him to sleep on the bed. My daughter was 14 months old when she stopped sleeping in her crib and she was very small. as a matter of face she needed a step stool to get in her bed. Be thankful that he has a dad that wants him!

Pamela - posted on 09/29/2009

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I would say if the toddler bed isn't very high off the ground in should be ok. Just ask his dad to put a spare mattress or cushions either side of the bed incase he falls out. And if he is going to his dads i would let him deal with his son getting in and out of bed all night he will son buy a cot after having no sleep while its fun for him to get in and out of bed :)



Also my son was in a toddler bed from 1 and the first week was spent trying to keep him in it, but once the novelty wore off he was fine :)

Hanna - posted on 09/29/2009

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I agree with the bed by his bed idea. I have a twin bed for my son on my bedroom floor. That way, he sleeps in his own bed and I hear him if he gets up. If he is insistent on getting the toddler bed, tell him it should be in his room.

Jordan - posted on 09/29/2009

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Well, we're kind of in the same boat. We had to live with my mom for a year, due to financial problems, and we only had one crib, and one toddler bed. When we moved out, all my mom had was a toddler bed, and I was as worried as you. My son also isn't showing any signs of being ready to a bigger bed. But, when my son has "sleepieodies" at grammas house, he does actually sleep in it. It took a couple months for him to get used to it, and for him to sleep more than a few hours in it at a time. The only thing I can suggest is making sure his father doesn't just expect your son to accept it. He's got to learn that THAT is his bed, and that is where he can feel safe. Also, maybe, to make it feel more like a crib, get some of those rail-things that you put on a regular bed, to make it like a toddler bed. Hope it all works out!

Kerrie-Anne - posted on 09/29/2009

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For starters as a response to the age and he toddler bed, I had my daughter in one at 15months when my second child was born... she was perfect in it! She would lay down and go straight to sleep, she slept through the night and if we weren't awake when she woke she would come straight through to our bedroom.

And secondly what sort of comment is "Maybe ask him why is this so important to him and see if it the two days in a row maybe." ??

I'm sorry but that is an absolutely horrible remark, perhaps because he is his son and he loves him!! Why do you want to see your children on more than one occasion?

Betty - posted on 09/28/2009

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I wouldn't worry over this at all. It will either work just fine or your ex will have one night of hell and realize that you were right. One night of your son getting out of bed and throwing a fit won't hurt anyone and your ex needs to learn how to take care of him without you telling him how to do things.
He will be in a different place so sleeping in a different kind of bed should be easy and natural. Haven't you ever taken him camping or on vacation without bringing his crib along? Kids his age sleep on mats at daycare. Maybe you should allow your ex to have him during nap times to try the sleeping at dad's thing out for a while before agreeing to or having it court ordered that he go for over night visits.

Jessica - posted on 09/28/2009

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My son went into a single size bed at 16 1/2 months because he was getting himself stuck in weird and wonderful positions in his cot so we made the transition over time and he sleeps far better. Your son may surprise you at 19 months, maybe you don't feel ready? I sure wasn't but we haven't looked back. But if he is going for overnight visits and it isn't as frequent obviously as he would be using the cot at your home maybe a portacot is a better option because you wouldn't want your son getting confused, orlacking in sleep for that matter. We found it best to have day sleeps first in the big bed before even trying at night also, since it's a new environment and all... I hope it goes well and that you can both compromise on something, because if you aren't ready to move your son into a big bed then it's not fair on him to swap between a cot and bed every other weekend.

Michelle - posted on 09/28/2009

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My daughter is 20mths old and has slept in a full size single bed with rails around since she was 6/7mths old. Some people will criticise this but I felt it was right for my daughter as she was a big baby and was all over the cot in her sleep and banding into the sides. Causing more harm than good! She also slept through from the moment we did this, making the house alot more peaceful and relaxed.



And as for the toddler bed at his fathers house, go and inspect the room yourself to make sure it is safe for him to sleep in and if it is then let him sleep! If father wants to deal with the possible sleepless night let him, think of how many you have endured. It may do more good than harm and aid you into changing him to a toddler bed at home!



What ever you decide has to be your decision and what you feels right. Dont feel pressured by the father as I know how this can be coming from the same background with my first child. Good luck x

Josie - posted on 09/28/2009

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our son was about 19 months and he was fine with going into a toddler bed..he didnt sleep through every night but most of the time he did..but all i did was put him straight back to bed and he went straight back to sleep...but i think he should get use to it at urs first before going over to his dads coz it will be hell for him when he is over and hell for u when he comes back..hope this works out for u xx

Marissa - posted on 09/28/2009

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I know its tough, but he's got to be a dad. I have gone through some rough things with my ex, but the thing I have done is to let it go! I know that no one will parent or take care of my boys like I do, but he IS thier father. I know he will never hurt them and that he loves them more than life itself...YES he does silly things like feed them pizza ALL the time and doesnt put them in the bed at a decent hour, but he's their dad. As long as he's doing his job, you have to trust his judgement. Pick your battles and think of how you would feel as a mother if someone else tried to tell you that you couldn't see your son..it would make you upset. and you would probably demand to see him. I am not trying to sound bitchy, it's just that I have been through some rough things with my ex that could have been handled differently. Sometimes as moms we have to bite our tongues and swallow our pride and let them be fathers. I hope things work out for the two of you. :)

Danielle - posted on 09/28/2009

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I have to agree with you on this one. Maybe come up some kind of middle ground with him. Maybe ask him why is this so important to him and see if it the two days in a row maybe. If he still would like him over night then the only thing you can do is go over and make sure that the room is baby proof. And let him be the one to help with this milstone. It will be a hard one to let him do, but sometimes it's out of you control. I hope this helps you good luck these thing are always hard to deal with.

Alicia - posted on 09/28/2009

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My daughter started being switched to a twin size bed right when she was not even a year old.. sometimes you just have to make sure everything is outta reach and put them in the bed... if they get up.. they will eventually go back in the bed or they will fall asleep where they please. I dont think that 19 months is too early to switch them.. it just depends on what is reachable around the kid and how the kid likes the bed.. its always worth the shot to try it out. :)

Cortney - posted on 09/28/2009

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My daughter was in a toddler bed from 9 months on just because she was scared of the crib I think you are makin a bigger deal out of the situation than need be but your a mommy go with your instincts

Cheryl - posted on 09/28/2009

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My concern is for both over night with dad, and also a toddler bed. I was going to transition him here with me soon enough, where my heart is a little more at ease, (baby proof house)



Also his father has just had supervised visitation granted to him all summer, now we are going back to court to figure out visitation. I do not know if I nor my son is ready for overnights, I assumed gradually build up to that. But I was wanting my son to feel safe in small doses first.

Marissa - posted on 09/28/2009

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Sometimes kids will suprise you! Think about things from a mans perspective, He's probably thinking why get a crib when he's almost 2. I agree with you totally, I would worry my pants off, but ask him to put it in his room until he gets used to sleeping in it. Make sure the bed has a railguard on it. He will be ok. :) My son was climbing out of his crib so we had to get him a toddler bed early (around 15 months). We put a babygate in his doorway so that if he got out of bed he couldnt get out of his room. Let us know how it goes!

Becky - posted on 09/28/2009

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My son is 19 months old and in a toddler bed because he started to have issues with his crib. We bought a rail for the bed. and he does get in an out of the bed during the day but for some reason will not get ou tof the bed untill Picked up in the morning or at nap times. It seems as though if i put him in the bed he knows that it is bed time. Weird but you never know it might work. Though i am not sure i would be ok with the first time trying it not being with me. SO i understand your worry.

Kelly - posted on 09/28/2009

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first off the father should not be demanding visits...he should be asking. from experience with split parents as i have two step children..making everything the same in both houses will make it easier for him to adjust. this is new to him as is to the parents. if he has a crib in the mothers house he should have one in the fathers as well. it will be more comforting. i suggest u look on craigslist for some cribs and go 50/50. compromise or your in a rough future. trust me i know. my husbands ex wife refused to compromise with us on anything and now we battle with the two girls.

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