My 2yo throws the worst tantrums

Amanda - posted on 01/17/2011

My daughter, now 5, threw horrible tantrums when she was 2&3. She would yell until she was hoarse, scratch herself, pull her hair out, bite me kick me hurt me anyway she could, she would get herself so upset she would throw up! It scared me ani talked to the doc and was told it was normal for kids to throw fits and I thought he was CRAZY! Lol. But I was very firm wit her no matter how bad her fit got I stayed strong. I told her that that behavior was unacceptable, and I would ncot tolerate it or reward it with my attention and I would make sure she was safe and did my best to completely ignore her! It took a while but it actually worked and each time the fits lasted less and less time and she learned how to calm herself down and to do it because we don't act like that as opposed to me forcing her to do it out of force and fear of me spanking her especially after I've gotten upset and then do it out of anger. Im not saying its easy and u will be stressed and pushed to ur limit but it is worth it. My daughter now is one of the most well behaved kids I know and does well in school, and I had very serious concerns when she was younger. Best of luck to you and your daughter

Meghan - posted on 01/17/2011

Ritalin? No. ADHD is waaay too commonly thrown out there for no freakin reason. She sounds like a very confident normal 2 year old. Try taking a look at her diet. Everyone thought my ex's kid was hyper active...I took one look at one he was eating and realized there was WAY too much sugar, dyes and processed crapola. He could be picking up on your stress as well. And that's not an attack! I know if I am in a horrid mood my son picks up on it and he starts acting out, really pushing buttons...basically trying to get attention that I am not giving him. Make sure you are taking time for yourself! Don't spank, don't yell...if you are getting really upset, make sure he is safe and remove yourself from the situation too. Be consistent and firm. I find taking toys (while sets off a huge tantrum at first) my son usually snaps out of it and then we can sit and I talk about what made him mad and how we can fix things-or avoid them all together. It isn't easy, it doesn't happen over nite, but acknowledge the fact that his little brain is going faster than he..he is going to get mad and sometimes they just need to get out frustrations-your job is to make sure they are comfortable enough to do so, and guide them to learn to properly cope and express. It does get easier, hang in there!

Brittany - posted on 10/05/2010

i dont think your child has adhd. i think she's just trying to find her boundries, what she can get away with. My daughter isn't 2 yet but she does the same things. a lot of the times i will do things she wouldn't like. example i was trying to put her on the potty and she was having a fit not just to take her off but hitting screaming kicking i just simply walked out and closed her in. i needed that 1 min break from the screaming to get my head back together and she hated it so when i walked in she went and sat on the potty did what she had to do and i explained i didnt want her to cry or do that and she said ok and dont!... you if she has a binky or somthing she loves take it from her put her in the crib or playpen and say when you've calmed down you can come out and hve it back.

Nikki - posted on 10/03/2010

My son started doing that at 11 months he goes from super happy little boy to a lil terror he is super loud he kicks bites hits and throws himself on the floor puncdhing and kicking crying his eyes out, and from what I have seen of other babies it's nothing new, so Im sorry its very typical, it sucks and I wish I could stop him, the only thing we have found is either ignore him or we laugh at him, he ends up laughing back and the tantrum is over... Distraction is good as well but I find it doesnt work all the time,.

Everyone is right they call it terrible twos for a reason, be thankful it didnt start at one like my son did.... and she defenetely doesnt need ritalin nor do I think any doctor would prescribe ritalin to a two year old.

Jackie - posted on 10/03/2010

YES!! Let them be a kid. I have very strong views on this situation. My 3 year old has Autism and throws the biggest fits ever. He has busted my lip open in public, knocked an entire store display down, and evenbashes his head into the floor or wall. I'm a firm believer that ADHD is a term thrown around now days for high strung kids.Yes I do believe that some kids are ADHD because my step daughter is a classic example. I know this sounds weird but the best way to test your child for ADHD is a simple home remedy that my stepdaughters doc and therapist tried with her. Her father and I are not big fans of medicating when its really not necessary. Brew some coffee and chill about 4 ozs of it. Let her drink it. If she calms down then yes she is ADHD but if she goes haywire not only am I sorry but shes not ADHD. The coffee naturally will send the chemicals in the brain into over drive. If your child is true ADHD she will calom down because the seratonin and dopamine receptors go into major overdrive and will actually reverse their natural pattern in your childs brain. I'm not too good at explianing this but Hallie did it twice and was the calmest kid afterwards. No we dont give her coffee everyday since she was proven ADHD. She takes Straterra. Little ones are going to act out and push all your buttons at the same time. My son isnt medicated either. I did try it and he was a zombie. He didnt play and wasnt hisself.
I wish you the best of luck.

Sarh - posted on 10/01/2010

I agree w/her doctor! My daughter did the same things, she was horrible! Granted I as well as your doctor can not see these tantrums but it is normal. If it is that much of a concern/bother to you then record her next tantrum and show the doctor if you honestly think she doesn't understand. Also, why are you pushing to medicate your daughter? Have you done your research on Ritalin? My little sister is on Ritalin, granted she is better w/it, but she continuously talks about killing her self and very scary things like that, and she does have ADHD which is not just the tantrums that you describe which are normal for a 2 yr old. There is no reason for a 2 yr old to be on any medication other then for reflux or a cold, things like that. Terrible twos is called that for a reason.
I agree w/your doctors and the other moms.

September - posted on 10/01/2010

Here's a great group to join as well. These ladies have great ideas and suggestions.
http://www.circleofmoms.com/positive-beh...

September - posted on 10/01/2010

Ritalin for a 2 year old are you kidding? It sounds like typical 2 year old behavior to me. IMO what you need is good parenting book. I just got done reading Parenting with Love and Logic and it's a great book with lots of helpful tips about how to manage un-wanted behavior in a positive way. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 10/01/2010

I too would have to agree with Ashley and your doc. I do day care and what you just described is most 2 yr olds that come to my house. I find that at 2 yrs old I am doing non stop time outs and some days it feels like they are in time out most of the day. But like Ashley said by time they hit 3 yrs old there are not as many tantrums and time outs. I find the key is being consistant and following through. Set the boundries and then enforce them. If you say "no" and she throughs a fit it is a time out. My rule is if you scream for attention (this is different then crying) then you get put into your room for time out and then I decide how long you are in there (usually until they calm down). It is amazing how fast this works to cut down on the screaming for attention. I think the big thing for this age is to BE CONSISTANT and ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH. If they know what to expect when they act a certain way they learn real fast what response gets them what they want and what gets them what they don't want. That is not to say that they won't test the boundries from time to time. The tantrums are two fold....1. is they are upset they are not getting their way and don't always have the verbal skills to vocally say that in an apropriate manner. 2. tantrums get your attention and sometimes from that they get their way. Ignoring the tantrum and not giving in teaches them that throwing themselves on the floor screaming does not get you what you want. I sometimes make a crying spot (which sometimes is a different spot then time out). Sometimes the crying is not due to a time out situation (if that makes sense). So I tell them they can cry for how ever long they need to cry for, but they must sit in the crying spot. This spot is not by us and not by the toys of the tv (so somewhat like a time out spot would be). The rest of us continue to go on playing and having fun. It is funny how short the crying lasts when they are no longer able to cry sitting right by you. Another thing I have found that sometimes helps is to try to keep them active and entertained. At 2 yrs old their attention spans are not very long and they get bored easily which then can create trouble. Try to get outside when you can, have a picnic, go to the park, go for a walk hunting for as many flowers or bugs that you can find. Inside try to rotate toys around. Keep some toys put away and then after about a month or so bring those out and put some of the others away. This makes it feel like there are now new toys to play with. At 2 yrs old you can also start with working on counting and the alphabet. There are SO many fun learning games you can do. At first you will be the one playing most of the game until she figures it out. Coping is one of the biggest ways kids learn.

Liz - posted on 10/01/2010

Your child doesn't need ritalin!! They call it terrible twos for a reason. Your child is old enough to discipline so find something that works for you and be consistent. Good luck.

Ashley - posted on 10/01/2010

I have to agree with your doc i understand that your doc or i have not seen ur child have tantrums but what your explaining sounds just like my child when hes being horrible he tries to through himself out of my arms screams cries hits himself has done it everywhere mostly when he cant have something he wants and redirection does not work on him he's like a pitbull with a bone there is no way he's giving up so what i do is tell him to go to his room if were at home and i ignore his behavior until he stops and he can come out if he starts again he goes back to his room if nothing works room or time out i give him a smake on the butt that will normally end the behavior yes i no a lot of people dont want to give spankings i personaly think that it help's children learn boundary's im not abusing him im smacking his butt anyway wanted to clear that up before i got attacked. As for ritalin i think she is to young how often is she doing this what forms of dicipline do you use it sounds like she has your number try a new aproch to it and see if that works better. Also my son went through that stage for almost a year of an on and it realy hasent been bad lately except shoping lol he hates it but at home and stuff he has gotten a lot better so wait a bit longer and see if it changes. I wish u the best of luck and i understand how frustrating it can be but its not your fault and i realy think it will get better with time.