my 8 month old is a horrible sleeper!help!!!!

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

hi fellow young mummies!
i have 2 beautiful daughters both whom are VERY different from each other.my first daughter was the most perfect baby,i was blessed and soo lucky.but second time around i feel as though ive been cursed or that karma has got me as my first was such an angel compared to the new addition.ive googled "why wont my baby sleep","tips on getting baby to sleep" etc etc..BUT NOTHING HELPS AS YET!
as i mentioned earlier,shes 8 months old,she has slept with me since the day she was born and about a month ago i put her cot right next to my bed and she has slept in it quite well during the day but not at night.even when she is sleeping right next to me she still wakes atleast 7 times during the night/morning.shes a dummy baby also,but only when shes sleeping-not while shes awake.she is teething at the moment but even before she was teething she was restless all the time.i fed her rice cereal at 9 weeks of age as my mother reccommended it to fill her belly up so she would sleep longer but to my dismay that didnt help either.she was also on thickened formula up until she was 6 months old.she eats all day plus her bottles.she has anywhere from 1-3 naps a day,lasting anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hours.i do have both my girls in a routine.eldest is in bed by 8pm (shes 4 1/2).ive used lavender scented oils in the bedroom,its dark all the time,lavender bedtime bubble bath,bath her before bed,she has a comfort toy she sleeps with.when shes having a teething episode i give her nurofen.i rub her belly,arms,feet & face with my finger tips to settle her down.she fights going to sleep also.even taking her in the car to fall asleep is a failure as she hates the car period!she did enjoy being wrapped when she was younger but as she got a bit older wasnt too phased with it.the only way she would sleep during the day from when she was born till about 4 months was in my arms then i made my partner go and buy a swinging battery operated chair.im not one to let her cry either to which my partner says i spoil her and thats why shes a sook,but i disagree!
im so tired and grumpy and so not motivated to do anything during the day.i dont smoke or drink,im a stay at home mum.shes also a mummys girl,is attached to me all day,everyday.her daddy is at work before we get up and because she sleeps with us hes grumpy as he has got to go to work and gets constantly awoken by her restlessness...
im exhausted.i feel so old,i feel like a bad mum.my mother said maybe shes just not a sleeping kind of kid?my other daughter sleeps 12 hours everyday,never had a dummy or comforter,slept with us til she was 15 months old but was never restless and still has naps during the day.
im starting to think maybe its got something to do with her development in the womb?as i was very stressed while pregnant with her-relocating house for a better hospital,plus i was pregnant during summer?
im totally opened to ANY suggestions!tell me something that WORKED for you and your baby.THANK YOU SO MUCH LADIES!

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Ingrid - posted on 01/03/2010

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My daughter is 7 months and she pretty much sleeps through the night. She'll have her nights when she'll keep waking up every 1-2 hours, and those are the hard nights. I learned early on not to rock or hold her because the moment i'd put her in her bed, she'd start crying. She slept with us in our bed till about 4 months, and everyone tols me not to do it because you end up spoiling them. Babies aren't dumb, they know when you're close and when you're not. They also know when they cry, you come running.

There's alot of new formulas you can try that have rice starch or say for Night time. They go down easy and thicken up in their tummy to help them sleep longer and help if they tend to spit up. I give my daughter 6oz of formula and a spoon full of rice cereal every night. Together, it helps fill her up. She'd sleep for at least 8 hours.

My daughter took a while to learn how to sleep in her own room by the 5th month. It took alot of hard work and dedication. If you're going to make a sleeping plan, stick to it. They may take up to a week or two to get used to changes.

I pretty much tried everything, but the one that worked for me was to bore her. This worked on the first day for me. After her feeding, i'd sit on the floor in her room, (so she associates the room with sleepy time) and play with her with some quiet toys. I'd just sit and watch her, hand her the toys and didn't interact too much to excite her. Soon, she would rub her eyes and yawn. Once she lost interest with the toys, i slowly pick her her, kiss her goodnight and lay her in bed. She'd crash almost instantly. Now during the day, i do the same. Bore her till she takes her nap, then play with her when she's awake. Don't be disappointed if she doesn't nap for too long, or take one at all. You can also try walking the mall or do some window shopping at your favorite shopping center. The stimulation of watching all the people and things around her may get her tired at night.
Also, don't be afraid to let her cry at night. If you've done your checklist, fed, clean and safe, you're fine. They just want to have you close. Check up on her every 10 mins and extend the time everytime you come out. Do 10mins then 15, 20, 25, etc.. until she realizes that you're not coming in at the same time all the time.
Just remember what ever you decide to do, stick with it. Consistency is the key.

Elissa - posted on 01/03/2010

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some babies dont sleep well - you are not a bad mum!!!!

we set up a routine so Struan and I lay down and I feed him while telling him stories. We had to move his bedtime from 8 to 10 so he would go to sleep and sleep well during night. Babies are supposed to fall asleep in mums arms feeding - you cant fight millenia of evolution although peole do persist in trying. The endorphins in breastmilk will relax her so she cant fight it any more and the more she gets used to this the less time it will take because she will begin to enjoy going to sleep.

Also when she wakes, try latching her on - it might not be the dummy she is needing. If you bottle feed the same principle applies - babies are supposed to feed at night. If she needs to suck but the dummy doesnt soothe she may need fed. Most people never get told that you are supposed to bottlefeed on demand too - routine feeding should have gone out with the dinosaurs but the people who are supposed to tell you these things often dont bother keeping up to date.

If nothing else works, make daddy do his fair share. Looking after baby isnt a job, you do it 24/7 and it takes both of you. Maybe if he understands how you are trying to protect his sleep by doing the same for you he will be less f a grump. I take the baby during the night but if he wakes after 5 Stephen brings him downstairs s I can get some sleep - even if he is working. We tag team the cuddles and the walking on the odd bad nights and it helps keep me sane. If you dont have support you could end up with postnatal depression (can show at any time!) so ask your health visitor, relatives and friends too. It takes a village to raise a baby fr a reason!

Good luck x

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[deleted account]

dear ingrid,

thank you so much for your advice!

i quite enjoyed your piece about sitting your daughter in the middle of the room for a settle down time.very interesting and thrilled it has worked for you...i hope u wouldnt mind if i tried on my little one..i will do the "checklist" and leave her to cry it out as much as its going to stress me out listening to her cry!but it seems as though its worked for almost everyone!and your correct i saying if shes clean,full,no wind ect then crying isnt going to hurt her.

i cant give in this time and i have to be consistent!thanks lovely

[deleted account]

hi sarah,

thanks for taking the time to give me some of your advice!it seems as though i do infact spoil her and yes i think i do need to let her cry it out a bit!

here in australia,our version of tylenol is called panadol which only somes cherry flavoured and she screams when i try give her that,so i stick to nurofen (ibeprofen) as its strawberry flavoured and it goes down better.and i only administer medication if i feel its completely necassary for example if i give in and let her sleep with me and she stops crying then i know not to give her nurofen as all she wanted was me whereas if she continued to cry and by knowing the type of cry she has if its teething related then i'll give her nurofen (sorry bit confusing!)

shes getting older now,and understanding much more.so i will start immediatly with the new technique.i may thicken her formula at night also just to give her more consistency.thanks sweets

[deleted account]



Quoting Elissa:

some babies dont sleep well - you are not a bad mum!!!!

we set up a routine so Struan and I lay down and I feed him while telling him stories. We had to move his bedtime from 8 to 10 so he would go to sleep and sleep well during night. Babies are supposed to fall asleep in mums arms feeding - you cant fight millenia of evolution although peole do persist in trying. The endorphins in breastmilk will relax her so she cant fight it any more and the more she gets used to this the less time it will take because she will begin to enjoy going to sleep.

Also when she wakes, try latching her on - it might not be the dummy she is needing. If you bottle feed the same principle applies - babies are supposed to feed at night. If she needs to suck but the dummy doesnt soothe she may need fed. Most people never get told that you are supposed to bottlefeed on demand too - routine feeding should have gone out with the dinosaurs but the people who are supposed to tell you these things often dont bother keeping up to date.

If nothing else works, make daddy do his fair share. Looking after baby isnt a job, you do it 24/7 and it takes both of you. Maybe if he understands how you are trying to protect his sleep by doing the same for you he will be less f a grump. I take the baby during the night but if he wakes after 5 Stephen brings him downstairs s I can get some sleep - even if he is working. We tag team the cuddles and the walking on the odd bad nights and it helps keep me sane. If you dont have support you could end up with postnatal depression (can show at any time!) so ask your health visitor, relatives and friends too. It takes a village to raise a baby fr a reason!

Good luck x



THANK YOU SOOO MUCH ELISSA!



no,i never knew that your supposed to bottle feed on demand also?!maybe thats where i am going wrong..andrew will say to me "maybe shes hungry so give her a bottle",i always reply no,because shes already had one within the time frame shes meant to be going for a sleep..thats niaeve of me so thanks for pointing that one out.



i try to do the tag team thing more so on weekends so andrew can sleep better during the week but its simply not working!we do tag team when its dinner time,andrew will eat first while i play with and amuse bronte or feed her my dinner and vice versa with when its my turn to eat my dinner in peace!



im a mum thats against dummies,but seeing as though my daughter NEEDS one,especially for comfort reasons,i will give her one to get her off to sleep in a happier mood.in saying i hate dummies i mean i dont understand why 3 and 4 year olds need them?they are for babies,right?



anyway thanksssss x





 

Sarah - posted on 01/03/2010

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24

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omg woman sounds like you got a pretty big problem on your hands, try giving her tylenol b4 she goes to sleep dont let her nap during the day keep her awake my daughter hasnt napped since she was 8 mos old and i just stick her in her crib and lay her down i khnow im not supposed to give her her bottle but she sleeps through the night, sounds like youve been spoiling her and she is soo used to getting her way with you that she thinks when she cries youll pick her up seriously my first son did the same think you really need to let her cry herself to sleep sometimes if you know shes not in pain not sick and is clean but dont let her cry more then like 10 min, good luck hope this helped you

Sarah - posted on 01/03/2010

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24

4

Quoting chelsea:

my 8 month old is a horrible sleeper!help!!!!

hi fellow young mummies!
i have 2 beautiful daughters both whom are VERY different from each other.my first daughter was the most perfect baby,i was blessed and soo lucky.but second time around i feel as though ive been cursed or that karma has got me as my first was such an angel compared to the new addition.ive googled "why wont my baby sleep","tips on getting baby to sleep" etc etc..BUT NOTHING HELPS AS YET!
as i mentioned earlier,shes 8 months old,she has slept with me since the day she was born and about a month ago i put her cot right next to my bed and she has slept in it quite well during the day but not at night.even when she is sleeping right next to me she still wakes atleast 7 times during the night/morning.shes a dummy baby also,but only when shes sleeping-not while shes awake.she is teething at the moment but even before she was teething she was restless all the time.i fed her rice cereal at 9 weeks of age as my mother reccommended it to fill her belly up so she would sleep longer but to my dismay that didnt help either.she was also on thickened formula up until she was 6 months old.she eats all day plus her bottles.she has anywhere from 1-3 naps a day,lasting anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hours.i do have both my girls in a routine.eldest is in bed by 8pm (shes 4 1/2).ive used lavender scented oils in the bedroom,its dark all the time,lavender bedtime bubble bath,bath her before bed,she has a comfort toy she sleeps with.when shes having a teething episode i give her nurofen.i rub her belly,arms,feet & face with my finger tips to settle her down.she fights going to sleep also.even taking her in the car to fall asleep is a failure as she hates the car period!she did enjoy being wrapped when she was younger but as she got a bit older wasnt too phased with it.the only way she would sleep during the day from when she was born till about 4 months was in my arms then i made my partner go and buy a swinging battery operated chair.im not one to let her cry either to which my partner says i spoil her and thats why shes a sook,but i disagree!
im so tired and grumpy and so not motivated to do anything during the day.i dont smoke or drink,im a stay at home mum.shes also a mummys girl,is attached to me all day,everyday.her daddy is at work before we get up and because she sleeps with us hes grumpy as he has got to go to work and gets constantly awoken by her restlessness...
im exhausted.i feel so old,i feel like a bad mum.my mother said maybe shes just not a sleeping kind of kid?my other daughter sleeps 12 hours everyday,never had a dummy or comforter,slept with us til she was 15 months old but was never restless and still has naps during the day.
im starting to think maybe its got something to do with her development in the womb?as i was very stressed while pregnant with her-relocating house for a better hospital,plus i was pregnant during summer?
im totally opened to ANY suggestions!tell me something that WORKED for you and your baby.THANK YOU SO MUCH LADIES!


 

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