My boyfriend cheated on me again, what do I do?

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2012 ( 137 moms have responded )

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So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years, about 3 months ago we had and argument about him not coming home until 6 am. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach so i went through his phone, i found that he was sexting another girl and had naked pictures she sent him on his phone from the night he was out late. I confronted him and he said sorry and he wouldn't do it again. I had our son almost 2 months ago. When i went to facebook i found that he didn't sign out of his when he used my laptop in the hospital, i found messages of sexual content with a girl he used to work with. I looked at the date and found that he did this in the hospital hours after our son was born. When i confronted him he said it was harmless flirting, i said it wasn't because it harmed me and they exchanged phone numbers and were making plans to get together. He still doesn't seem sorry and put a lock on his phone and gets jumpy when i go near him when hes texting or somthing on it. Can i trust him? I'm having a hard time getting over it and don't think I will. help?









Me again. I found a text in his phone this morning too, at 3 am i called him and he said he was coming home, but he didn't get home till 430, he texted a girl at 340 asking if she was awake, do you think he was going to cheat? it sounds suspicious. It hurt so bad before and now I kind of feel nothing. opinions?

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Sam - posted on 04/23/2012

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Don't stay...you deserve better. I would run! I understand there is a child involved but just remember this "If momma ain't happy....ain't nobody happy!" Good Luck!

Yurena - posted on 04/24/2012

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Love, you caught him cheating a couple of times (yes, any sexual stuff with other person is cheating). He is not sorry and gives you excuses. Do you need anything else, like coming home and finding him in your bed with someone else? Get a STD check and for your sake and your child move on, you don't deserve a scummy man making your life difficult at a time you should be enjoying parenthood and getting emotional support. Good luck, xxx.

Ashley - posted on 05/09/2012

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There's a whole lot I could say b/c I've actually been in what sounds like a very very similar situation as yours... But I'm just gonna limit it to 2 questions... (1) Do you or your son deserve to have such a destructive person in your life?? (2) Is that the kind of man you want your son to grow up and be like?? Because if you don't change your situation (if not for yourself at least for your son) then your son is gonna grow up thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable and "normal." Remember: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Samantha - posted on 04/29/2012

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A healthy peaceful functioning family requires complete trust between the two consenting adults who found that family. He doesn't even sound like he's really sorry. He has a problem, and it will only get worse unless he chooses to do something about it. If it was me I would GET OUT of that relationship. It doesn't mean a person can't change, but it does mean that you won't be allowing him to walk all over you. Even if you think you can put up with it for years, do you want your son to learn that's how a man treats a woman?

Angie - posted on 09/03/2012

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if he keeps doing the same thing over and over then obviously he doesn't want to stop and he has problems. some men likes to keep flirting cuz it keeps their self esteem stronger without actually sleeping with these women. I think you should take some space from him leave him, and focus on raising your child, and pray to God to help you forgive him and move on, if you are meant to be with each other he will change and you will end up together again.

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137 Comments

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Gwen - posted on 03/17/2013

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Yes I do think he cheated. I don't have the energy to write out a long, detailed answer to this as I am sick, grumpy and behind on homework. Here's the SUPER CONDENSEND version, when I was preg0 with my oldest his dad cheated on me NUMEROUS times, I only knew of once and was devastated, forgave him..yadda yadda...had the oldest, peeked on his phone hours later when everyone was asleep in my hospital room and low and behold one of MANY ladies he cheated on me with had been texting him and he was "flirting"-basically hitting on her. I questioned him, got the same b.s. as you, I wanted a family so badly that I let it slide........FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS later and the cheating NEVER stopped, catching him slowed down so that I was finding out MONTHS, in some instances years later, (there was even one girl that got his name tattooed on him, whom he brought around some of OUR friends/WHO OF COURSE TOLD ME), he's in jail, I have a restraining order, I NO LONGER want an "ENTACT FAMILY" with him and now we have another little boy for a total of two. I wish I was CONFIDENT enough to have LEFT him a LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG time ago, instead I opted for the masochistic path. I feel its pointless to write this because 1% of the people in your situation would ACTUALLY leave, especially if its your FIRST kid, but 99.9% WOULD leave him if this was their second!!!!!!!!!!

Rhea - posted on 02/10/2013

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sweety you are better off without this guy. If u stay with him u would be constantly worrying about where he is and what he's doing and if he is being honest or not. And believe me honey it takes a lot of time and energy. You have a son that needs you and all of your attention. Leave him alone believe me you would find someone else.

Nicole - posted on 02/01/2013

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LEAVE HIM!!! He can't have his cake and eat it too! You need to stand up and tell him it's over! I wouldn't forgive him especially if he did it b4 and u forgave him. Once a cheater always a cheater!!

Cass - posted on 12/09/2012

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sorry to be blunt, but your boyfriend is a mother fucking chump and you should dump his ass out on the street asap. obviously if he continuously is texting girls sexual messages and trying to meet up behind your back, he is disrespecting you and he doesnt love you and YOU DESERVE BETTER. has the nerve to lock his phone - LIKE THAT ISN'T OBVIOUS AT ALL. tell that piece of shit to get out of your life because im sorry, you may be helplessly in love, i understand that, but he really is a loser, and he isn't going to quit that attitude if you just keep allowing him to fuck other women behind your back and get away with a "sorry." please, do womankind a favor and get rid of that asshole for good, give him a wake up call and show yourself some respect. even on the night of your child's birth. wow. just wow. if my husband did that to me, he could consider me in another fucking galaxy for all i care - and i would expect the same if i ever did that to him. i wish you strength and courage to stand up for yourself on this one. so so sorry to hear about that. ouch.

Whitney - posted on 09/12/2012

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Leave. you deserve better don't stay around show him you don't need him. You love him yes I understand completely I've been there myself many times. It's not worth the stress and heartbreak day after day always wondering if he's with someone else that's just to much...

Cayla - posted on 09/10/2012

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And is this the kind of man you want your son to become?? I think not, find a better influence for him and yourself.

Cayla - posted on 09/10/2012

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He's never going to stop cheating. Its obvious that these other women are more important to him than being home with you and his new son. I would much rather raise my son on my own then to go through that everyday. You will never be able to trust him again I can promise you that. He locked his phone for a reason, TO KEEP SOMETHING FROM YOU!!

Lee - posted on 09/08/2012

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I am sorry that your boyfriend has betrayed you in such a horrible way. I have been the girl on the other side with a guy I have known for over 7 years and he was with me every month to two months since 2011 and had a girlfriend who treated him poorly he said to me. Though I have been in love with him forever I realized that what was going on was not right. I am friends with him but I had to break up all ties because as a friend/lover I told him straight out that what he was doing was not helping out the relationship with his girlfriend. If he doesn't love her then leave. He obviously got my message because he doesn't come around and I did the right thing pushing him away. I had an ex fiance who I lived with for 2 years cheat on me while living with me and it made me sick maybe that is why i just let things go so far with the 7 yr relationship guy but I took a step back and took out a paper and a pen and wrote down all the pros and cons about what i should do. There were more Cons then Pros. In my advice to you if you want to take it is that I am very sorry that your boyfriend doesn't know what he has in front of him. I am sorry that their are girls out there that may not be aware of the situation because you can't blame the girl she probably doesn't no he has a girlfriend and a baby. I didn't know my guy who I knew for 7 yrs had a serious live in girl. I am sorry that guys SUCK at Communication and that they are still in a mid life crisis. I have been there done that and you need to either get the numbers of these girls and in a nice firm non threatning way describe your feelings and mention you have a baby boy and want to know what they are doing that is better then what your doing. A lot of it deals with Sex. Guys love the kinky stuff. Like Whipped Cream Bikinis, Watching Porn and having sex at the same time, Video caming, Massages with oil, wearing naughty clothes such as Naughty International girl, etc. That is why guys go for other girls it has nothing to do if your hot or not it is who will turn them on. If you are willing to do any of these to spice it up with your man I swear to you he will not be thinking of any other girl. They will be the breeze passing them by. Hope this helps Sorry to be honost about myself. I am a good jewish girl I swear.

Brandy - posted on 08/28/2012

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I'm having the same issue as well while I was pregnant with our daughter he came home with bite marks on his neck, this time there is no marks to prove it but he is leaving for work 2 hours before he is needing to and not getting home when he is suppose to get off. I feel like a fool for putting up with it but I have no proof that he is I don't know if its just because I have lost trust in him. any advice?

Cecilia Marie - posted on 07/19/2012

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I would leave even thow it will hart you so bad girl at less he your boyfriend an not your husband leave now before you get so close that you can't and lose everyone that you love. I don't no why women are like that nose the guy is with someone and still be with him I guess thats what the world is coming to so sorry :(..

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2012

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i think it's obvious what you need to do and you know it. you don't need reassurance from other people.

Melissa - posted on 07/18/2012

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Like I tell all the other moms, read your own letter and U will just know what U need to do for you and your child, he isn't going to stop! Hang I hope U didn't give this child his last name, that would've been dumb!

Carole - posted on 07/17/2012

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Hi Love, whilst I know this is very hard for you, but he is not ready for the settling down, and to do that whilst you were in hospital, is the lowest of the low, he does not deserve you and you and your Son will be better off without him. You will be fine get on with life with you and your Son and in a few months he will want to come back to you. You need to watch this one as it either you and your Son or his single life, HE CANNOT HAVE BOTH.

Michelle - posted on 07/17/2012

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Yes leave. It will only cause you grief. I've been there and yes it is cheating. Men are so selfish. He isn't worth it. i mean come on. While you are in the hospital? Wow that is low. He doesnt seem to care at all. Yes punch him in the neck. And on your laptop!? Seriously!? Its a no brainer sweetie, leave him.

Courtney - posted on 07/17/2012

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Punch him in the neck and kick him out. I'm sorry this is happening so soon after your baby but this age is the best time to start over before it messes your kid up.

Bekki - posted on 07/16/2012

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Leave him. He's just gonna keep doing it because he's getting away with it. I'm sorry to be so blunt but it's the way it is. I'm sure if you leave you will end up being a lot happier and less stressed.

Amy - posted on 07/16/2012

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Sometimes the best thing to do is let him go. Your child shouldnt grow up in that sort of environment. It will hurt and be hard but you will be stronger in the end. Focus all your energy on your child the boyfriend deserves none of it.

Norvella - posted on 07/15/2012

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sure sounds like u got a cheater for sure girl, sorry but that's what it sounds like, leave him.

Sue - posted on 07/14/2012

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For some reason, a lot of guys don't understand that sexting and "harmless flirting" on Facebook is still cheating. If you can't get him to break the cycle, then you need to move on and find someone that truly loves and respects you.

Stephanie - posted on 07/12/2012

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i would kick his bum right out the door your worth more than that , as i say 1ce a cheat always a cheat
chin up hun

Carla - posted on 06/24/2012

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Some women stop having sex with their boyfriends or husbands while they are pregnant. I only did this because sex was too painful. I am not trying to get too personal but guys tend to stray because they crave sex and if they do not get it from you they will find someone else. It is sad but true for a lot of guys BUT NOT ALL.....I would consider naked pictures cheating especially if he is texting that girl and sending naked pictures back and forth. It usually means he is planning to cheat.

Leigh - posted on 06/23/2012

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Carolina, wtf? You really paid someone to "cure" your illness over the internet? Well, whatever you get, you deserve...

Heather - posted on 06/12/2012

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Leave him! Been there, done that. Not necessarily when I had my children (at least from what I know of), but he did cheat on me afterwards. Not worth it and the drama. You can do better! Best of luck!

Whitney - posted on 06/12/2012

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Why are you even still with him? He's blatantly cheating, in your face, and you're just taking it. Woman up and leave him. You and your son deserve better.

Hope - posted on 06/10/2012

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Honey, what are you still doing with this man? Sorry, let me correct myself: BOY. He's obviously not monogomous. He doesn't find flirting with another girl to be a problem (when you two have a baby) AND he's staying out that late while you have a newborn at home? I'd say you're better off on your own. It's hard, but it will be much better than being treated like a doormat!

*Trust is the number 1 factor in a relationship, if the trust isn't there- you don't have much of a relationship.

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take your son and get away from him. as hard as it may be to beleave or as much as you dont want to beleave it....things will only get worse and he will never change. Me and my ex fiance were together for a year and a half, i thought we were so perfect...he had my name tattooed on his wrist, he bought me a ring and acted like he really loved me. after we were together for 3 months i started seeing his true colors. he was constantly cheating and sexting with other girls and i also found another facebook he had under a fake name and when i hacked into it he was talking to like ten other girls on there. i am 4 months pregnant with our baby and i left him a month ago bc he started hitting me......something i thought he would never go. 2 weeks after i broke up with him he was already with another girl and is now married to her after only being together for 2 weeks and he told me he wants nothing to do with the kid but i knew i made the right decision and now god has rewarded me for it bc i am now dating a great guy who cares about me and dosent mind im pregnant, he calls her his litttle girl and everything. ive never been happier. do the right thing and you will be rewarded trust me. and ik its hard bc i took him back after sooooo many times of cheating but the way i looked at it was its not only me getting hurt by it anymore...it will eventually hurt me child too. good luck (:

Jennifer - posted on 06/07/2012

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Get rid of him. He isn't good enough. Don't give him a chance to hurt you again.

Jena - posted on 06/07/2012

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He sounds like such a jerk! Who in the right mind would want to cheat on the mother of their baby? If I were you I would leave! It is best to teach and show your child that you are a strong woman with or without a partner and will also teach him to not depend on others as well. It will hurt him to see you depressed over situations like this. You are better than that ♥

India - posted on 06/07/2012

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I wouldn't trust him. Why would you want to be with someone who clearly doesn't respect your or value how you feel? It's not worth it.

Megan - posted on 06/07/2012

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Unless you want to be in a polyamorous relationship... it's time to leave. it's hard toimagine yourself without the father of your child, but for you sanity, you have to think about yourself and not let him hurt you.

Momma Of 4 - posted on 06/06/2012

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Awe sweetie.... That's terrible to feel the way you are. My ex used to cheat on me.... and deny deny. I found pictures and sexts too...He left his FB open after being drunk and flirting with an old friend who he had already cheated on me with.... she said "aren't you with whats her face?" And you know what he wrote "No, too much stress!" Finally left him when my son was 1.5 years old. I made him tell his entire family what he was doing to me, thought the embarassment would work to my advantage, then I told him I would give him one more chance and if he did it again that I was going to take my son and leave. The next 2 months were bliss, so I thought.... didn't think anything of it and one night he was hunting and I just looked into his email. And there was a picture of a dirty looking blonde in animal print on a bed.... and he sent his pic back. I was with him for 7 years and he cheated since I'm sure day 1.... stupid me!

Once he starts it hard to trust ever again. I agree with Bonnie... scare the guy! Tell him that you will leave and take your child. Tell him that it will be his fault your family will be split up and his child will suffer for his actions. Unfortuntely sometimes it doesn't hit them until you leave.

I left my ex 2 years ago in September... and he has been so depressed because he lost his family that he claims he will never even date again.... May 1 he disappeared and hasn't seen his son since mid-march.

I wish you the best of luck, get to the bottom of this for your sanity. But if you are finding that type of stuff, I am sorry to say that he is probably doing more than you think.

One other thing.... Its not worth it for you or your child. There ARE happy endings!!!! I met the man of my dreams 4 months after leaving my ex... I am now engaged, just bought a house and have 2 amazing step-daughters. Life is short, listen to your gut and do what is best!

Arpana - posted on 06/05/2012

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just throw him out of ur life and kgive him tn tight slaps kick him out that dog .he dosnt deserve you h deserve nothing you must b indpedent lady find someone the on who is loyal trustful .burn all his belongings his gifts his things that is with you.burn them and put the ash in the toilet and flush them he deservs this only .flush him out of ur like we flush the toilets .take his photo give him as much as absusive words(bloddy bastard.................,,,,,,,and many more)put his photo on fire.again flush the ash in the toilets . you will feel better.do a phone call give that bas .... as much as bad words he deserves this only

Lee - posted on 06/05/2012

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I been in this situation before. I was with a guy for the same amount of time, and caught him twice with naked pics and asking girls to send him naked pics. I just reply to the text messages to the females " I HAVE A STD",I even wrote the number down and called the girl to let her know that he is taken. It just made me not trust him anymore, it went downhill from there and I just had to get out. Your boyfriend clearly doesn't have respect for you or his children. LEAVE NOW! There's always child support, court order visitation rights, and plenty other resources for him to be there for his children. Be an example to you children, and gain the respect you truly deserve for yourself and your family. I know 2years sound like a long time to just give up and give away, but you need to be happy again. Trust is a big issue between relationships, and without it your setting yourself up for failure trying to preserve something that is not worth fighting for. Maybe leaving him will make him realize how much he misses you, and if he doesn't miss you or his child/ren he was a waste of time to begin with. I wish you the best.

Brandi - posted on 06/04/2012

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He doesnt seem to care about you or your feelings doing this! I would leave him!! He isnt worth it!! Idk you but any woman deserves better than a cheater!! I went threw this with my ex all the time and he never changed!! Two days after i left him he started dating one of the girls he was cheating on me with atthe same time tryin to get back with me! He will never change

Christina - posted on 06/04/2012

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what a damn loser. Esp near the birth of your child. That is sick i'd up and leave his ass. There is a lot of better guys out there. i've learned the hard way when you stay with someone so long your blinded by the crap they do to you so you forgive and still nothing EVER changes. But i have moved on..

Courtney - posted on 06/04/2012

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hunni if u feel u have to go through his phone to be sure hes being faithful the relationship is done. get rid of him

Krista - posted on 06/02/2012

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life is short, it goes by fast. Leave him, he won't change. I know you must love him but he doesn't love you. If you stay with him. You'll be stress and not good for you or the baby. Keep yourself and baby happy. He already cheated on you. I would of smacked his face for what he did in the hospital right after bringing a human into the world. That's not love for you hun.

BIG HUGS!

Rebecca - posted on 06/02/2012

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The fact that you feel nothing is a pretty clear indicator of what you need to do. Which is to say, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

He is not going to stop. If he was disrespectful enough to pull that crap while you were in the hospital caring for his newborn baby, imagine what else he's capable of.

And by the way - either this guy is a class A idiot, or he WANTS to get caught. At this point, he probably knows you're checking his phone but didn't bother to delete the texts. He left his Facebook signed in. Consciously or subconsciously, this guy is looking for a way out and is too spineless to tell you. He wants YOU to do the dirty work of ending the relationship.

Unless you think you're capable of having an open relationship with this dude - and most women aren't - cut your losses and move on. Yes, it's scary. But compare a few months of adjusting to single motherhood (which will be made easier by the support of your friends and loved ones) to spending the rest of your life with a man who is this thoughtless, inconsiderate, and shady. That's not what you want for you. And that sure as hell isn't what you want for your wee one.

Dominicca - posted on 06/02/2012

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LEAVE HIM. IDC what anybody says just off the strength of the fact that I can handle someone saying 'F' me but 'F' my child is another story. He is not loyal to you or the family that you all have created and you have a whole man of noble character to raise. You don't have time to reteach the boyfriend what it means to be loyal, honest and to love. I say that you leave him and set up your life to be everything that you and your son need. (that includes child support from his a$$) Make your baby the center of your universe and anything outside of your little bubble is a threat. Let daddy know that he is now in opposition to the throne and proper respects must be paid before he can indulge in the glory of raising a king with you. #DUCES

Leslie - posted on 06/01/2012

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I went through the same thing with my husband. we are still together because i gave him a choice, his marraige or his hoes. Ww have been doing great since. you need to make a choice, either leave him or put your foot down. Im sorry your going through this but i do what your going through. If he puts a lock on his phone then he is hiding something and if he is sending sexual messages or sexting while your in the hospital giving birth to his kid then he obvousily does not love you.

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