My daughter is becoming a big sister. What will help?

Rebecca - posted on 10/16/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter is currently 23 months old and I will be haveing our second child in January. She will be 26 months. when he is born. I want to make the transition into big sister hood as easy as possible for her.We have talked about the baby and read her books about babies and being a big sister. We are going to have her come to the hosiptal to see her brother as soon as possible. I am also going to have my husband take her to the store to pick him up a present and I will have one for her from him to open at the hospital. What has everybody else done to help ease the transition? I would love all the advice that I can get.

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Katie - posted on 10/19/2011

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I actually just had my second child a week ago. My girls are 2 and a half years apart. I let my daughter pick out outfits for the baby, told her on a regular basis there is a bay in my tummy, and she was going to have a sister. I also let her put her dolls in all the babies things. I had her brought to the hospital a couple hours after the baby was born. The first day she didn't want anything to do with me or the baby. But the second day I had her sleep in the hospital with me and her attitude changed. At first she acted like there was no baby, then slowly wanted to see the baby. When we got home, she actually went back to her normal self. We also bought her a doll carseat so like mom and dad, she could carry her babies around also.

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Stifler's - posted on 10/19/2011

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Its never easy. They get jealous for a few months then get over it and get obsessed with the new sibling. You do have to be vigilant with making sure you're giving the older kid enough attention despite nappy changing, crying baby, other stuff to do.

Medic - posted on 10/19/2011

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My kids are a little farther apart (3years 4 months) so I thought there was going to be more of a transition than if they were closer but it was actually really nice. We kept our son involved in everything and had him at the hospital right after she was born. I would get him to hand me things and entertain her for me and we lived at our parents house (daddy was away with the military) so my parents really helped out with the baby so I could play with him. His routine never changed his sister just got to go along for the ride. Now they are 5 years and 21 months and she follows him everywhere. They even share a room by his choice since she was about a year and its great. Sometimes he gets tired of her but all in all it was a breeze.

Denikka - posted on 10/17/2011

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Yea, I have 22 months between mine and I just involved my son as much as possible right from day one. He used to come and kiss/hug/rub my tummy and say hi to *B* (he nicknamed her before birth :P We tried to get him to call her by her name or *our* nickname (easier to pronounce/short form of her name) but he insisted on calling her *B* which is his term for baby :P)
When she was big enough to start moving around he'd come over and lay his head on my tummy to feel her move. He'd poke my tummy and she'd kick back :P It was pretty cool XD
After she was born, I would get him involved in as much as I could. I breastfed, so not much to help with there, but I would ask him to keep her entertained while I changed her, or to hand me the wipes or the diaper. Just any little thing that he could help with.
Another thing I found that appears to have helped is that I never treated my daughter like she was made of glass. I always stressed to be gentle, but I always let my son come over and give her hugs and kisses whenever he wanted. Yes, sometimes she freaked out, sometimes she still does (she's almost 9mo old now), and when she does, we stress that there's *too much love* and her crying is how she says *NO* so he has to stop.

At this point, my son is 2.5 years and my daughter is almost 9 months and they LOVE each other. If he goes down to his room to play, she power crawls after him. She always wants to be around him and he usually wants to be around her :P They want to do just about everything together, it's awesome :P

Kristyn - posted on 10/16/2011

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My kids are only 17 months apart but I tried to let my son be involved as much as possible. I think the big thing is not to constantly make her wait so you can deal with the baby. Put the baby down or have daddy/partner hold it and hold and play with your daughter. Its an adjustment but I think the fact that you are conscious of it that everything will be great. We really didn't have to big of a transition. Good luck!

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