My ex from ten years ago calls me, what do i do?

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

My childs father left us in Feb. and Im moving on the best I can when my love of my life, first real love, finds me on Facebook and requests me. Im 33 yrs old and we dated when i was 18-21 and havent talked in about ten years. He married and moved on after we split and I finished college and moved on. Now, he is sympathetic of my situation with my POS ex and he goes on to tell me how cold and bitter his wife is. He brings up old memories of places we would go and fun things we would do, nothing sexual or flirty towards me. Respectfully talking as we were never disconnected for those yrs. But, i cant help but think id be very upset if my husband was laughing and talking to his ex he once loved and lived with...he has a new baby and loves her so much. He keeps saying how he doesnt know how long he can go on with her. Im in another state but he lives where I grewup around my family and friends. He says he misses me and enjoys talking to me. We text or talk everyday now for a week. He says if i needed anything dont hesitate to ask him. Is this what its like to have a guy as a friend or an ex as a friend? i never stayed in contact with exes because i feel like it leaves things lingering if youre trying to move on. Right now im alone with my toddler in a state where her dad and his family never come to see her or us. I love it here, its beautiful but im lonely. I know i can't act on anything until he is divorced even if he suggests it, but i dont give him advice as to leave her i give him advice as how to understand her and work through things. but he keeps telling me hes tried that or the things i suggest haven't worked. My QUESTION is....was he put in my life again for a reason, we had a genuine love at one time. He says he thinks about me everytime he goes to his families cabin by the lake where we would go for weekends. He thinks about me alot and wishes he would of married me and he is sorry for what im going through now... that i deserve better and my daughter deserves the best...what do i do? not talk ot him anymore or just be there for support and advice as he has valid advice for me.


Farrah - posted on 05/06/2012




Hi renne, this must be so difficult for you. If it was me I would end all contact with him. He is still married, regardless of how either of you feel he has a commitment to someone else. He has unresolved issues with his wife, if they are unhappy they need to work through it to come to a resolution. If he does end up ending things with her then maybe you could look into a relationship. But if anything happens now I doubt he would be very faithful to you or committed because he would be cheating on his wife and everyone will end up hurt and he would be likely to cheat on you. If it is meant to be it will. If I were you I'd take a step back for now and let him and his wife work it out. I hope you find some peace :)

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