my in-law family including my husband are against using pacifiers but are they really that bad?

Tamara - posted on 10/12/2009 ( 140 moms have responded )

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i did not use a pacifier with my 1st child as she was such a placid child my son is 7 weeks old and i breastfeed but he still wants comfort and cries even though i know he isnt hungry and if i keep breastfeeding him to give him that comfort of sucking he ends up with sore tummys as i know he is having to much milk i have recently brought him a pacifier and it is working brilliantly 4 me as my first child is only 14 months old and i can get done what needs to be done when he has the pacifier (if you know what i mean) i know when he is crying because he is hungry and his cry 4 when he wants the comfort im finding it difficult as my partner and his family are right against it and are making sure i know it but they dont understand how difficult it is for me to spend time with my daughter and get housework done when all my son does is cry for that comfort. i feel so horrible when he cries and is unhappy and i see it affecting my daughter to is it really so bad that im using a pacifier and sticking to it?

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Tina - posted on 04/24/2011

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people just love to pick on you about anything if they don't agree with it maybe they should baby sit for a while or do your housework I'm sure they'd resort to the dummy pretty quickly

Crystal - posted on 04/24/2011

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No it's not horrible thatyou use a binky my oldest had hers until she was 3 and gave it up on her own and her teeth are perfectly fine my youngest is 21 months and still has hers there not a bad thing especialy when you have a baby who really finds comfort in it my oldest was a major cryer and i couldn't have survived with out it

Claire - posted on 10/20/2009

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just tell them he is your child and you will do as you see fit some kids need a comfort just try not to keep it for to long past its used i made mine give his up in the day at 10 months then at night just after 1 he is a very happy child with good teeth x

Kelly - posted on 10/19/2009

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Not really. They can cause buck teeth though. But these days there are so many cute smart ways to get your child to give up the pacifier. Use it while theyre young and once they are big enough to understand you can get them to kick the habbit. My son has a muscle disorder in his arm and his pacifier [binky] was his comfort and it was his life! He is 2 1/2 and in 2 days i managed to get rid of the binky. I told him he was a big boy and big boys dont use binkys. That was that.

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Sucking on pacifiers helps reduce the risk of SIDS, so in my opinion, there is NOTHING wrong with them! :) I vowed to get my son of his nuk by 1 year, but ended up waiting until he was 2 1/2. It was harder than if I would have taken it away at 1 yr old, but I felt he wasn't ready.

Heather - posted on 10/19/2009

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Hey I just had my first child, she was on the pacifier for two months and she didn't want it no more. I did alot of research because i lost two sisters from SIDS and they says it runs through the family. Pacifiers are actually prefered by doctors to prevents SIDS for babies. I just wouldn't use a Pacifier for too long or else it's going to be hard to get them off the binkie.

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2009

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Actually I was at the Dr. the other day... She told me that there are some studys now that show, pacifiers can prevent SIDS. It stops the baby from falling into too dead of a sleep, and keeps them more aware. I would look into how it can possibly prevent SIDS

Natalie - posted on 10/19/2009

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I'm using a pacifier with my baby, my thought is that it's much easier to get rid of a pacifier than it is a thumb! If sucking is your babie's way of comforting themself, they are going to find something to suck on and in my opinion, it'll be much easier in the long run to wean off of a pacifier than it would be to wean them off of a thumb!

Marissa - posted on 10/19/2009

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My oldest hated the binky...but my baby loves loves loves it! I do too because when hes sleepy it puts him to sleep :)

Ashley - posted on 10/19/2009

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i can always tell my daughter wants that comfort of sucking even when she's not hungry but she never wants her pacifier..i don't understand it! i don't want her to get hooked on it so i'm kind of glad but at the same time, i'm in your shoes of not being able to get anything done cuz she's crying. but yeah i agree w/ everyone else's post that it's not bad as long as they're off it asap.i've heard letting them throw it away themselves works better than taking it.

Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009

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i'm with you on that. my grandma is soooo against thm and every time she holds my 1 1/2 month old son she takes it out and he gets really p.o'ed. i try to explain to people babies love them for comfort. plus it reduces the risk of SIDS. and like some of the other moms have said as long as hes not on it for hecka long, i totally recommend it. families some times have t much to say and are to stuck in their own ways. good luck!

Cassidy - posted on 10/19/2009

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Neither one of my kids wanted the pacifier. Tried to give it to them but they would just spit it out. I never really liked them but if it helps you out have at it. Just think of it this way, it's one more thing your gonna have to ween them off of.

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2009

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my daughter is two yrs old now and wen i was in hospital after having her she kept crying the mid wife told me to give her a paccifier and it worked wonders !! some kids just need them as a comfort why is that a bad thing ?? especially if you have more kids we all need 5 mins to get things done and if it helps you i dont see why you shouldnt use it ! i find its unfair that your in laws are butting in thats your child and you should know whats best for him !! also we tried taking it off our little girl too soon and she ended up sucking her thumb and fingers something she never did before !!my little girl only gets hers now when she goes asleep and she is giving it to santa claus at christmas so i dont see anything wrong with it but i agree with the previous post nobody wants to see a toddler walking aroung with a soother just make sure he doesnt become to dependent on it !!

Mary - posted on 10/18/2009

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I don't agree that it is that bad. My daughter used the pacifier for a while. Her baby teeth are still fine and she doesn't have an overbite or anything like that. KNOCK ON WOOD!! LOL. The only problem with it, was that I played hell trying to take it from her when she reached a certain age. Lots of mom's use them, and it is much better than him being upset from his tummy hurting, which could cause issues in itself. Explain that to your partner and his family. I don't think it's bad at all, and I bet your mother in law wishes she would have had that thing when/if her kids were crying and she had things to do. lol

Amelia - posted on 10/18/2009

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I have much younger siblings in addition to a child of my own and I remember when my mom had my brother she did not want to give him a pacifier because she remembered what a hard time she had getting me to give up mine. Her doctor told her that since babies have such a strong urge to suck that its cruel not to give them something to suck on when its not feeding time. Your husband will quickly learn that you will have a much more peaceful household if you accommodate you babies natural inclination to suck. Just make sure you get rid of it by age 1. That said, your child may decide he or she doesn't want a pacifier and thats ok too.

[deleted account]

i dont think there bad all babies r different all 3 of my kids used it my 1st 2 kids used it till 3 months my daughter till 6 months i had 2 take it away from her

Robin - posted on 10/18/2009

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Binky's are great!!! Both of my children have used them and according to our doctor and pediatric dentist, have them broke of them by age 3 or they can cause problems with their teeth. My son is 2, and we have just started limiting his usage. They are great soothing tools for children and I love them!!!

Tawana - posted on 10/18/2009

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I was a little leary using a pacifier as well, however my mother in law gave me some good advice, it will be easier to take away a pacifier when he is older then trying to take away his thumb, babies suck to sooth themselves, so if you don't use a pacifier then he will eventually find his thumb!

Zakimah - posted on 10/18/2009

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Nope, consult with a dentist to be certain, my daughter had a pacifer then progressed on to teethers, now she is two and her dentist actually suggested putting her back on a pacifier to help with her underbite though he also added it may correct itself

Lovicia - posted on 10/18/2009

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I gave one to my son when he was a baby because he had trouble keeping his tongue down when he nursed and it helped a lot. Then it just became helpful in getting him to sleep at night. He managed to lose it when he was about a year and a half so that got him off it quick lol. Hasn't asked for it since either. Do what you feel is best for your baby and your daughter....unless they are willing to help you out, their opinions mean nothing.

Sarah - posted on 10/18/2009

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i think you are doing what is right for you, remember to always use your insticts thats why we have them. your family will always give you grif but if it works use it.

Laura - posted on 10/18/2009

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Without a pacifier, we would have gone insane! When they turn 1 -1 1/2 phase it out! Good luck!

Kendra - posted on 10/18/2009

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My son has been very picky and I had to try quite a few pacifiers to find one he liked, and he is much more content now. When he doesn't have it he sucks on his hand, or anything else he can get ahold of. I look at it this way, they are gonna suck on something, it's a natural instinct, at least you can take the pacifier away at a certain age versus trying to break them of sucking their thumb. And as long as you keep their pacifier clean they don't get the same amount of germs they do with their hands.

Brandy - posted on 10/18/2009

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A Pacifier can cause problems with the childs teeth when they start to grow in. They are okay to use in the first few months of age, but I strongly suggest that you remove the pacifier for good well before they hit 1 year. The longer you wait to stop the use of a pacifier, the harder it is going to be on you when you try to break the habbit. I found that it was the easiest to just take it away, instead of slowly taking it away. But pacifiers are very helpful when the child is young , especially having two children close in age. I have two about the same age difference as yours, and I remember how stressful it was. I used the pacifier up to 7 mos, then stopped. And we are against the pacifier as well. But sometimes people just dont understand the stress of two kids the same age range.

Anna - posted on 10/18/2009

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i use to work for sure start children center. i was expecting my 1st baby when i was working there & a new study showed that using a dummy while a baby sleeps help stopping cot death. i used one with my 1st baby & she gave them to Santa when she was 2 & never had one since. my 2nd baby is now 1, she only has one while sleeping & i will be getting her off them when she 2. im expecting my 3rd & will use them again. both my girls have great teeth. also it has bin showed that having a bottle at night can damage the teeth more than a dummy as when the baby goes to sleep the teat will sit on there gums/teeth filled with air or drink which can damage the gums or teeth & also chock the child/baby. hope this helps xx

Meri - posted on 10/18/2009

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i would stick with it... my son is 9 months now and i started him with them right before we left the hospital and the doctor told me that it was a really good idea because of the fact that have to keep sucking on the bink and that prevests SIDS so i stuck with it....and i found that i can get more done with him having the bink

Jessica - posted on 10/18/2009

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passies are great! I used them with both my kids, even doctors will tell you they need that comfort, and on top of that, it helps with their mouth skills, so if ever you stop breast feeding and want to bottle feed (with breast milk) he will take it a lot easier! You know whats best for your baby not your in laws. Doctors say that a child can keep their passie til the age of 2, my son had his til he was 19 months old because the doctor told me I needed to keep a comfort item around for after he had surgery at 18 months and he wasn't on the bottle, so the passie stayed! My daughter stopped taking hers on her own at 9 months. Do not give up on your struggle to keep the passie! It makes you and your son happy, that is the most important thing!

Nichole - posted on 10/18/2009

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Every child is different...some need to pacify more than others and some suck on thumbs or binkies to do this! My husband and I were both thumb-suckers when we were little and a binkie is easier to get rid of than a thumbe ;)! All three of my kids used binkies and while it is best to get rid of them before they are one...I ended up waiting until they were two and could communicate better with them so they could be reasoned with....my son was easiest since he had a "rag" too as a comfort item so that is my suggestion. Have another comfort item so when you get rid of the binkie they are able to pacify easier when quitting the binkie. My girls are harder...we had to move to only when you are sitting/lying down, then only when you are sleeping, to you are a big girl now give them to the babies.

Susannah - posted on 10/18/2009

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my daughter is also a breast feed baby if you dont give them the comfort of sucking like a pacifier the will resort to other things such as their thumbs.... once they start to suck their thumbs that is harder to make them stop the thumb sucking then it is next year to just take the pacifier. you can take the pacifier their thumb is always there!!!! Happy Mothering

Kristen - posted on 10/17/2009

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I have never given my child a pacifier and I have never had a problem with her wanting one! She chews on everything but I have found if you never give a child a pacifier they will never have the need for them! Where I can get that a pacifier is bad and it is only rumors that it can cause they're teeth to grow in crooked! but... if your child uses a bottle its the same thing but a bottle isn't a constant thing!

Michelle - posted on 10/17/2009

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I think there is nothing wrong with giving a baby a paci, sucking on something is a natural way for them to comfort themselves! My daughter had hers whenever she wanted untill 10 months then only in the car and bed (unless she was sick/hurt) and by the time she was 18-20 months she didn't even ask for it at night!

Michele - posted on 10/17/2009

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I don't think they are bad, but I would break the baby before 6 months. By then they no longer need it and they don't miss it when you take it away. After 18 months it can actually cause damage to their teeth. and is a total nightmare to break.



My mother-in-law was the opposite. She kept sneaking it to him even though I asked her not to and he had stopped at home months and months before. Bottom line though it is your baby do what you think is right. You will always have battles with the in laws about things like this it is best to put your foot down in the beginning, but do pick the battles.

Shanilly - posted on 10/17/2009

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I dont believe pacifiers are bad, however you will have to deal with a crying baby at some point. Either now, and don't give him/her a pacifier at all, or later when you try to wing them off. I too am a breastfeeding mother and I have made the decision with this baby to use a pacifier where I did not use one in the past. On the other hand, I do not intend to leave her on it for an extended length of time. It is more rewarding to me at this time due me having an 15 month old.

Michelle - posted on 10/17/2009

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My son didnt use one but when my girls came around I decided to use them! I was just that parent though that when the first tooth broke skin it was gone!! It only took a few nights and they were good, its all about what you want and the decisions you and our husband are making not the entire family!!! You gave birth not them! LOL Just keep telling them that

Felecia - posted on 10/17/2009

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Everybodies comment is so true. The hard part for me was getting them off. My first child didnt do paci's at all, I gave it to my daughter truly because it was there, had I known reprecautions for it I would not have given it to her. I took me every bit of 2 weeks if not longer to get her off bc it had became her security so what I would say is think long and hard about all of the comments before making your final answer.

Mandie - posted on 10/17/2009

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I think they are just fine! They help reduce SIDS in infants, Help to sooth them.. My doc told me that small babies need to suck, It is natural! I say you are the mom and you know what is best for you're baby! Good Luck!

Abby - posted on 10/17/2009

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Of course its not bad.. My daughter Eden is 14 months old and she LOVES her passy's.. They have been her favorite thing since she was a baby, they are her comfort and I love it.. Whenever she is upset, or cries, or cant sleep her passy fixws it instantly... So use the passy's!!!!! :)

Shannon - posted on 10/17/2009

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i have heard that pacifiers can help prevent SIDS so that is why i have used them but im also planning on taking it away from my son after we get back from out tip to S.C. for christmas and he will be 9 months old them and he only gets the pacifier when he is taking a nap or when i am driving.

Krystle - posted on 10/17/2009

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I say do what you need to do. Pacifier's are not bad...that's my opinion. It's not like he's 3 using one, you know? Other people have thier opinions too, and it's hard when it's family trying to tell you what to do and all, but I say if it soothes the little guy, and you feel better about it and also it helps you get things done, then use it. He will be fine :)

Aqila - posted on 10/17/2009

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my doctor told me pacifiers help the baby to remember to breathe which reduces the chances of SIDS...my oldest son took to the pacifier but my youngest boy doesn't like them...i still give the baby one @ night, even though he barely likes it...

Stacie - posted on 10/17/2009

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It is not bad. It has proven now that babies who use a pacifier have a lower chance of sids. Through that in their face.

Cassie - posted on 10/17/2009

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No!! Binkies aren't bad!! There is actually evidence that it helps reduce the risk of SIDS. Tell that to your In-laws, maybe then they won't think of it as such a horrible thing. When the baby gets older you'll know when it's time to take it :) Give the babe a bink :)

Alicia - posted on 10/17/2009

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I just had my third child three weeks ago and we have never given any of them pacifiers. I am not against them I just know that my mother never gave my sisters or myself one and my husband's mother let him have his until he was three. I do not think they are bad so long as you break them from them before they are one. I do not think it is really a problem until you see the kids who are running around that are two and three years old still sucking on a pacifier.

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pacifiers are not only good for comfort, but they also help baby with digestion. Don't let OTHER people make you feel bad about parenting YOUR child. Not everyone is going to agree or take the same approaches.

Dawna - posted on 10/17/2009

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Always remember you can take the paci away, but if they start sucking on their hands or thumb, you can't take it away. My daughter wouldn't take one, but my son did. All kids are different but he was very easy to take the paci away.

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NO! Not at all! Pacifiers are not at all bad! I was against them too until I had my daughter and she sounds just like your son! It saved me! Just ignore them! It is your baby and as far as your husband, he's not there all the time like you are and you do what you think is best! :)

VANESSA - posted on 10/17/2009

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HI, NO NOT REALLY. IT'S GOOD FOR THE MEAN TIME. GIVE IT A COUPLE OF MONTHS AND WHEN TIME PASSES BY THE BABY WILL FIND SOME OTHER COMFORT.WHEN THE BABY SEE'S IT CAN CRAWL AND ALWAYS BE ON THE FLOOR MORE, HE WILL FORGET ABOUT THE PACIFIER. IF YOU SEE HE DOESN'T ALWAYS TAKE IT OR WHEN HE FALLS ASLEEP SNAG IT AND FORGET IT, UNTIL HE WAKES. IF HE DOESN'T MOAN FOR IT, HE WILL EVENTUALLY FORGET IT. I PERSONALLY NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH THE PACIFIER NONE OF MY 4 CHILDREN NEVER USED THEM, BUT MY PROBLEM IS THE THUMB THAT MY 4 YR. OLD DAUGHTER DOESN'T LET GO. THAT IS HARD TO TAKE AWAY FROM A CHILD. SINCE THE ULTRA SOUND SHE'S BEEN DOING IT.LOL.

Erin - posted on 10/17/2009

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You can not make everyone happy and I think there is not problem in useing a pacifier. We started useing on our little girl at 2 weeks but we only let her have it if she is sleeping or not feeling well and it has helped dramaticly she sleeps so much better than without one. I think you should decide for yourself and do what is right for you and your baby not everyone else!!

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