My mom wants to be in the delivery room??

Andrea - posted on 03/04/2010

With my son 2 years ago i had my hubby, mom, his mom and my grandma, He came at 37 weeks.. I am thankfu lthat i got to have my mother in law there as she passed away 9-8-09 that and she only had 2 boys so i got to give her the expirence that she otherwise would have never gotten... With out all of them i wouldn't have gotten through it.. I looked at my grandma and she shook her head yes and that was it he was out after 10 mins of pushing.. With my daughter who came at 36 weeks with Gastroschisis (insides outside her belly) we had planned on it just being myself and hubby, but my mom showed up before every thing was done.. At the end of it WE were both greatful she was there as he was not ready for what he seen, It took one doctor holding her head and the other holding her body and all her insides... My hubby looked at me and started crying, as they wouldn't even let me see her till she was on the vent and covered.. My mom held my hubby up as he watched them put the vent tub in, cover her and get her ready for the next step.. With out my mom there it would have been very hard... Still at the end of the day she is your mom and only you can make the call if you want her there or not.. Like my grandma once told me you never know how much you need your mom until your in that much pain and crying for her to help.. I did cry for my mom both times as I did it all natrual and induce labor both time.. Hope this might help you... take care and best wishes...

Amy - posted on 03/04/2010

I had just my boyfriend in the room with me during the actually delivery. I let the nurses know that I didn't want anyone else there while I was giving birth and they saw to it that my parents and my bf's mom stayed away. I allowed ppl to visit while I was just in labor, but I personally feel that the experience of the delivery is one that I wanted to share with just my bf and let that be our moment together...

Tonya - posted on 03/04/2010

Its your call. I had my mom and husband in with me and it really helped to have my mom in there because shes like my rock. The only bad deal with the whole thing was my MIL but I didn't want her in there and that was my choice. She still nags me on it. But I had problems and I wouldn't do it without my mom or husband.

Gemma - posted on 03/04/2010

I had my mam there and my boyfriend but if it came to it and i had to choose i would have picked my mam! It depends how you feel really, it's up to you!

Shinita - posted on 03/04/2010

it really depends on who you wnat there. my husband, mom, and sister was there for my first child. for my second child my husband and mom was there. but i wanted her to be there so everything turned out good and quick.

Denay - posted on 03/04/2010

my mom was with us too, she was a great support for my boyfriend and it allowed him to leave and take a break as it was a long day. I was in labor for 21 1/2 hours, he was all for having her in the room because he wasn't sure on how he would react. In the end she wasn't able to witness the birth because I had to have a c-section. I would discuss in with your spouse and see how he feels.

Meghan - posted on 03/04/2010

I had my mom and ex in the room while having my son. At first I really didn't want her there and didn't say anything hoping she would catch on lol. And my ex didn't want her there either. However I am so glad she was! I think it deppends on what kind of personality your mom has. My mom was very encouraging, calm, stayed out of the way and helped calm me down-non of which my ex was doing! It is a very stressful draining thing and if you have a mom that is going to add to your frustration I would nicely tell her you would rather her wait outside.

Andi - posted on 03/04/2010

It's really up to you and your fiance. If you want her in there be sure to make that known to him, but also ask him to see how he feels about it. And don't be upset with him if he doesn't want her in there just remember to make your needs, wants and wishes known to him otherwise you'll both be upset. I honestly just wanted my husband in there and he wanted to be the only one in there besides the doctor and nurses. And honestly, if your mom gets on your nerves at all, I wouldn't have her in there especially since you will be in pain. Before I got an epidural I was giving my mom some nasty looks. I know she felt bad that I was in pain and she was only trying to help but when I'm in pain the littlest things annoy me. But we do look back on it and laugh now that it doesn't hurt anymore. :)

Karissa - posted on 03/04/2010

I had my mom, boyfriend, and sister in the room with me too. I liked having my mom because she had done it before, obviously, but it was important to her. I didn't really care who was in the room, just as long as the baby came out. Your mom is just excited about having a grandbaby, especially if it's her first. She'll appreciate it so much. My mom hung out and took pictures most of the time. And she took great pics. You should let her in because she loves you.

Amanda - posted on 03/04/2010

My mom stayed with me up until it was time to push. She was a lot more helpful than my husband because she could anticipate what I needed.Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Ashley - posted on 03/04/2010

OH BUDDY! with my first i was scared for anyone to be in there.. i was 18 at the time.. but since more men the first go around have no idea what is going on themselves its always great to have that support when you can get it PLUS! when you are in labor you are not going to care who is there lol.. my mother was only able to be there for my first we are military and i'm about to have my 4th any day now and i wish she was here..

Nicole - posted on 03/04/2010

i jst had my mam in wish me i think its gud to have a mam there u shud hun xx

Carolee - posted on 03/04/2010

I had my mom in there with me. I also had my (at the time) fiance... I ended up regretting that one! My mom taped the birth and helped me yell at my son's bio father for trying to leave the room while he was supposed to be holding my leg back so I could push! My mom was also the one who helped me through all 23 hours of labor AND 1/2 hour of pushing.



It really depends on your comfort level with her, though. If you don't want her in there, but she's insistant, just know that the nursing staff are REALLY used to kicking people out of rooms when you give the go ahead! AND they have no guilt over it (because they don't know these people), and most of the time will cite a made up "medical issue" or "hospital rule" as to why there can only be your fiance in the room with you! That way, you don't have the guilt, either... and you get to have your delivery how you want it! Parents have to understand and obey "hospital rules" for "medical issues".

Anna - posted on 03/04/2010

i had my mom, my hubby and my MIL. but my mom and MIL stayed off to the side, mainly bc they werent suppost to be in there lol. But I was glad to let them be there and share in the experience. it helped me to know that she was there if i needed her. my hubby stayed by my side the whole delivery while my mil and mom stood off to the side. no one got to see my daughter being born, only when she was brought up to my chest. i didnt want anyone seeing my little angel before trevor and i got to see her. i would say yes, it would mean the world to your mom and sometimes. we just need our mommies too :) congrats and good luck!!

Charity - posted on 03/04/2010

I was totally against having anyone but my husband in the room with me, but honestly without my mom I would've never made it through. its up to you but for me it was the best decision because as much as I love my husband he didn't really know what to do to help me through the pushing. He was so scared and nervous that he really didn't know what to say or remember what to do so my mom was great reminding me to breathe and to focus and such.

Shannon - posted on 03/04/2010

my mom was the same way... she insisted on being there, and i said no... until i went into labour and she got to the hospital about 5 minutes before my daughter was born (she lives out of town, so it took her a while to get there). so by the time she showed up, i was too tired and sore and busy trying to push out my baby to fight with her. but a lot of people say that its better if your mom is there, you'll feel more comfortable. with my second though it'll just be me and my husband. :)

Ashley - posted on 03/04/2010

for my first i had my mom, mil, grandmother, sister and of course bf. it was a bad delivery all around and wish i wouldnt have had them all there. not because of me but because of the things they saaw. my mil is now scarred for life and didnt want anything to do with watching my 2nd being born. my grandmother and mil acted a little rediculous at times. their both very controlling and they both didnt want to leave for a moment because they thought they'd miss something. even when i had my epidural and they had to empty my bladder they stayed and watched! lol..oh well. for my 2nd it was my mom grandmother and bf. i was in tons of pain for my 2nd and was happy to have them all there. they were all very respectful and were very quiet when i was 10 cm dialated and no epidural yet. unfortunately my sister missed my 2nd birth or else she would have been in there as well. i'd have them all in there again. they were great company and i had ppl to talk to while my bf went out for smokes. it's up to u though and how u feel about it

Nichole - posted on 03/04/2010

It just depends on how you feel. I had my mom in the room with my first baby but with the second we lived out of state so she couldn't be there. I didn't mind my mom in the room but now that I got to experience it without her, I think with our next baby my husband and I just want it to be something we share alone.

Sheryl - posted on 03/04/2010

i had my mom and my husbend! in there with my first child. then with my second i had my husbend. i felt better having both of them. but in the end its all up to how you feel about it.

Lindsay - posted on 03/04/2010

I had my mom in the room with me and my husband, but she kinda stood off to the side. One really important reason I wanted her in there is because I wanted to have someone there to take all the pictures of me, my husband, and the baby after I had him. Obviously the nurses aren't going to stop everything after having the baby to take your first family pics! Plus I am really close to my mom, and no one can comfort you like your mom does! But it is all up to you, and who you want in the room!

Lindsay - posted on 03/04/2010

I only had my husband in the room with me. We told everyone that if they wanted to be there they would have to wait in the waiting area until my daughter was born and then they could come back. For the people we knew would not cooperate we just didn't tell them I was in labor, we waited and called them after she was born.

Erin - posted on 03/04/2010

I have to say my mom was adament about being in the room.(she is a very pushy person) i love her very much but when i let her come n to the room with us she was wanting to be in the lead on every thing.Even pushing my husband to the side. i was constantly telling her to move so i could be near my husband. I'm happy she got to see my son being born but this time when my second is being born it is just going to be me and my husband. I know not all moms are like this but you will have to choose what you are comfortable with.
When i was in labor the nurses told me they would be on my side and make any one i didnt want in the room leave when i was delivering.

Anna - posted on 03/04/2010

my mom, my husband and my mother in law were all in the room with me. i preferred it that way actually. the more support the better. my husband and my mother in law actually held my legs for me and my mom coached me through the entire thing( she is labor and delivery nurse). i found it to be a tremendous help, and now looking back i think i would have been twice as scared with out all the support.

Marceline - posted on 03/04/2010

I had my boyfriend (ex now),mom,dad,cousin and 2 close family friends at my first delivery.It was nice having someone there who had been through it.(She did better at the helping then my now ex). But for my Fiance's and my son (my 2nd). We decided to just go with it,and it worked well. So its really up to you.But good luck,and congratulations.

Victoria - posted on 03/04/2010

It is whatever you want. I was able to have up to three people with me. I wanted my mom there. A friend of mine threw her mom out half way through the delivery. She did not have an epidural and found her mom trying to be too helpful. So do what your comfy with because in the long run this is your moment and for once it is all about you and your baby.

Laci - posted on 03/04/2010

like everyone else said... it's up to you. but the fact that you have to ask sounds like you're not eager to have her there. my mom told me she really wanted to be in the room, but we were firmly against anyone but us being there. we were alone when we made her and felt we should be alone when we brought her into the world. i think that your first moments together as a family should be private.

Andria - posted on 03/04/2010

Its really something you can decide. I had just my fiancee and hospital staff in the room. I wanted my mother in the room but when it came down to pushing and how much pain I was in I asked her to leave so I could focus on getting my baby out. I am happy I did it with just my fiancee because its a very private moment for us to share. We also taped our second daughers birth and I watched the tape and I was going to let people watch it if they wanted but I changed my mind, that too is a private moment for just daddy, mommy and our daughter when she is older. Anyway, if you are leading to having your mother in the room, I would talk to your hubby about it and see what his thoughts and feelings are. I know most women say I dont care what my hubby says Im the one who has to push the baby out. Well your not the only one who is in a stressed out state. I was in labor to 25 hours with my first and 20 with my second and my fiance didnt sleep until I had out babies. So, I would see what your hubby thinks and really think about it. GOOD LUCK AND CONRATS ON BABY

Jessica - posted on 03/04/2010

as everyone has said .. do what u are comfortable with.. but from my experience... having my mother with me during labour bought us closer together and given us a bond that can never be broken.. i yelled and screamed at her but was so glad that i could see the emotion in her eyes as her first granddaughter was born.. wonderful...
i also had a room full.. my best friend and two of her teenage daughters and my mum.. my partner was at work and my labour was only 4hrs so he didnt make it in time.. but i couldnt have done it without my mum, with our next one im planning on having my partner, my mum and his mum...
but trust me if you are close to your mum let her come in with you, once the pain starts you will be glad she is there..

Tracy - posted on 03/04/2010

it's really up to you and what u feel is right for u and ur family, I am the only girl out of four kids so my mother thought it was her right to be on the delivery room. I LOVE my mum but there is no way i could have handled her in the room she would have pushed my husband out of the way and probably the midwives too cause she has had 4 there for she knows all there is to know about having babies.... lol... i was lucky though she lived over 2 hrs away and i told hubby not to call my parents until babys head was coming out.. lol... that way i knew she couldn't make it in time.....lol... in the end for my first i had my husband and i had a close freind in the room, ( more so my husband didn't pass out.. lol) for our second it was just me and him....

Danielle - posted on 03/04/2010

its totally upto you and what you feel is comfortable..HOWEVER do not agree to ANYTHING with your husband! you may change your mind as soon as you go into labour.

My plan was to just have me and the father in the room. I was in active labour for 37hrs. By the time i went back into the hospital i was soo tired and drained the father wasnt helpful at all. I was 20yo he was 27yo. i was freaking out and needed my mum,lol..i had a few problems with my pregnancy so the labour was really hard for me and my mum was my rock!

My ex tried to kick her out but i put my foot down! she held my hand and helped me in and out of the bath. my ex got to help deliver the baby and cut the cord but my mum was there encouraging me and holding my hand :)

Gemma - posted on 03/04/2010

i had my mum there with my 1st baby she was amazing so supportivex, my partner was there but it was new 2 him as me at least mum had an idea wat was going on

Angela - posted on 03/04/2010

I had a sceduled section so my situation was a little bit different. However, my mom wanted to to see me right before they took me to the OR. I had to forcefully say no because I knew that I would be scared and emotional and that she would not be a calming presence. Women in my family cry about everything and I didn't want her to set me off crying before I even got started. It was nice to have just my hubby there, and then he had the joy of going out and announcing that it was a girl. In the end, just make sure it is what you want. No one else.

Stevie - posted on 03/03/2010

I plan on just having my boyfriend and best friend who is like a sister to me and going to be my sons godmother in the delivery room with me. I might ask for my mom once the baby is on his way out but my mother is high strung and she and I tend to argue in stressful situations so I don't think it would be good to have her in the room while I'm laboring. My mother told me early on in my pregnancy that she didn't need to be in the delivery room with me so I'm not going to feel bad if she isn't, my mom is very understanding :)

Valynn - posted on 03/03/2010

It is totally your choice. When I was pregnant with my son, my husband and I had a birth plan, and we excluded my mother. In the delivery room only my husband, and perhaps my cousin (who is like a sister) were the only two to be in the room. It made me uncomfortable having my mother see my "private area". We were not as close as some mother/daughters, we have grown closer since the birth of my son. In the end, it is completely up to you and what makes you feel comfortable.

Jessica - posted on 03/03/2010

when i was pregnant with my son i had decided not to have my mother in the room while i delivered. But when the big day got there i felt that i couldnt make it through one of the biggest days of my life without my mother there to hold my hand (literally). My husband let me make the decision and that is something that you just have to decide on your own. If you think that your mother will make you feel stressed then just have her at the hospital but not in the room.. there are other things that she can do for you even if you dont think so. But even if you dont want your mother in the room... have her at the hospital that way you have some back up support if you decide that you need it.

Lyndsay - posted on 03/03/2010

I had my mom in the room with me because I had no one else at the time. I think if you can have her and your fiance, that's the best case scenario for everyone. Unless of course you don't want her there for your own reasons, in which case you should just say so! Its your pregnancy and your delivery and you can have whoever you want there.

Sheree - posted on 03/03/2010

I had my mum, i couldnt of done it without her and my husband. They took turns fanning me, (I was so hot) and holding my hand. it was great to have 2 support people and if your close with your mum why not?

Jess - posted on 03/03/2010

I think you need to decide what you feel comfortable with. I had my mum and my partner there and I needed both of them for very different reasons. I needed my mum because I knew my partner would be no good under pressure. My mum was there for the whole labour, including when I got stitched up.... I didn't care, she changed my nappies as a baby, nothing she hasn't seen before ! My mum was my rock honestly. My partner was crying in the corner ! My mum cleaned me up when I vomitted all over the place, she held my hair, rubbed my back, held the vomit bag. If you think your mum is going to be useful to you, than definatly have her there, but NOT because she is demanding it. My mum never asked, I invited her and she was wrapped !



My partner wanted his parents to be there.... I was NOT giving birth in front of them !!! I said no visitors in the waiting room, no phone calls to anyone. I wanted 100% of the focus to be in that room, getting our baby here safely. Not worrying about people sitting outside, not dodging phone calls. Mobile phones were off, no distractions and it was great ! And it made those phone calls afterwards all that much sweeter and a better suprise for all our friends and family. No one was offended or upset as far as I'm aware.

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 03/03/2010

I agree that you should do what you feel comfortable with. I had my mom there. She's an OB nurse and has been for 28 years. She talked me through every contraction and knew I was ready to push (just by listening to me) before I knew. You could allow your mom in at first and if you feel you want her to leave, just ask. Or if she's in the waiting room and you decide you want her you could ask her to come in. Just make sure she knows what you want ahead of time.

Medic - posted on 03/03/2010

Do what YOU want with both of my kids my mom wanted to be there and would not stop bugging me but I personally am a very private and very modest and didn't want everyone to be in there I only had my husband, the dr, and one nurse with both deliveries and I would not have it any other way....I am very easily irritated by others and I would have just been bitchy.

Carli - posted on 03/03/2010

Do what your most comfortable with...

Tiffany - posted on 03/03/2010

depends on you.

I dont like fuss, and my mom fusses a lot, so I knew for me it wasnt an option. She was very disappointed, and a little...offended I think when I told her I wanted just me and my fiancee... but I told her she'd be the first to know when I went into labour (we called at 6am when I knew it was labour and she really was the first one we called besides the midwife!) , and she met Addison just hours after her birth when we came home. So all in all, it was the best choice. I was very irritated during labour.

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2010

It depends on what you want. Will your mom help while you are in delivery or will it hinder your progress. I had my mom in the delivery room with my first. I was SO glad she was there!! She really helped me with my breathing. She has been a labor coach to many pregnant people so helping me through labor was easy for her. With my second it was just me and my hubby. This way was nice too. It was our special time and then family visited the next day (baby was born late at night). Each way was a different experience and I was glad I did it the way I did each time.

Roxanne - posted on 03/03/2010

Off subject. I had an argument with my baby father about having HIS mother in the delivery room with me and I wanted my friend in there. We end up not having anyone but me and him. He felt that he had a right to choose who should be in there. She came up from NJ thinking she was going to be in the room. She made me feel like I was carrying her childthe whole pregnancy. I would advice to have anyone in there you want. You are to one who need to feel comfortable.

Rachael - posted on 03/03/2010

it really depends on what you are comfortable with. there isn't really a right or wrong way about it

Maggie - posted on 03/03/2010

i had my huband, my mom, my sister, two cousins, and a video camera. its all what you're comfortable with. my mom was my main person through it all (my husband was far too stressed and anxious - i was induced at 36 weeks due to maternal blood issues) and i think it was a great bonding experience for us. we're close anyways though. your call tough.

Christin - posted on 03/03/2010

actually its a good idea really, it depends tho. i wanted no one but my husband but his mom really wanted to be there. well when i was in labor right before she came my MIL was there and they were going to boot her out but she asked if she could be there and im like i guess since she was already there. good thing. my husband kind of chickened out and had to leave, plus he was working on no sleep and was real hungry so he was getting sick. So i was glad i let her stay. when i was in labor i wanted to be left alone and not to be talked to unless i did the talking or asked a question. other than that i wanted to just hear me. my MIL let me just do my thing and got a kick out of the sleeping meds they gave me made me act lol. but having her there was alot of help. she never really said anything unless it was useful info she didnt keep saying you can do it and being all annoying. when my husband had to walk out she stayed with me and if she wasnt there idk what i would have done other than probably freak out. my mom was supposed to be there but said more important things came up, but really its up to you. i thought i just wanted my husband but definatly glad my mil stayed.

Ashley - posted on 03/03/2010

Its really your preference. But if your mom is one of those, take charge and let me do it people, its probably better to NOT have her there. Unless you want the extra support or think that your partner will need help coaching you, I say no.
My mom and MIL wanted to be at my delivery so badly. My husband and I firmly said no, we wanted our special moment of meeting OUR son the first time to be just about us, and no one else. My mother insisted that I would "want/need" her in there. I guess she thought I couldn't handle it, but I did great! We had an awesome delivery, it was a fun experience for me and my husband was very attentive and a great labor coach. Im very glad that I did it this way and plan to do it again with my next son in a few months.
If you want to compromise, tell her she can be in with you while you labor only up until its time to push. Once your about to deliver, your nurses will shoo everyone out and you can focus on your labor without the distractions of others. Good luck and I hope you have a great delivery full of good memories!!

Stephanie - posted on 03/03/2010

I had my mom my boyfriend my grandma aunty and best friend i think i would be a good idea to have your mom in there though you have you husband its nothing like having you mom when i had my 3rd daughter i didnt have anyone but my husband because we live in texas and my mom still lives in california and it was a bit sad but sure i think you should let your mom come in the room.

Veronica - posted on 03/03/2010

It really is a personal call. But I do know I would not have made it without my mom. She was such a calming person to have there for me. I had both my husband and my mom with me. You need to be as comfortable as possible so it really has to be your decision. I would only vote against it if your mom is not able to be calming for you. Good luck and congrats on your little one.