my overbearing mother in law

Kimberly - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Now I am sure all of us at one point or another hate or can't stand our in-laws, but I think I am one of the few who can honestly say that I can not stand my in-laws at any point in time. They drive me absolutely nuts! How do you politely tell your in-laws to back off? I mean these people NEVER ( I mean NEVER) come out our way to see my son. But somehow they always seem to bitch/moan/guilt trip to my husband that they never get to see my son because we don't go out there enough. Which if they had it their way all of us would live right next to each other on the same block.
I am seriously at the point where I am going to tell them to go f themselves and forget about ever seeing my son because of their bs.
Not to mention all the crap they pulled before I had our son, and the stuff they pulled on me during the holiday's.
I don't know, maybe it's just because I never was a family person that I can't stand them, or it has to be the fact that they are annoying... Any advice on how to tell the in-laws off politely?

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User - posted on 08/27/2012

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Oh my, you sound like you have the exact issues with your inlaws that I do with mine. I am much more blunt and outspoken. My mother in law tries to guilt my husband too, but I have a much more powerful voice, opinion, and say in the matters when it comes to my son. I DID tell my mother in law to F-off. my son is only 5 months old and she hasnt seen him since he was about 2 months old. She was bogus to me when I was pregnant, and tried her damnedest to destroy our relationship. She's embarrassing, she talks toooo much, oh I could just go on. She knows I dont like her. You gotta set your boundaries, let her know "if you want to see him, he's right here" if youre not comfortable letting her babysit DONT. Never let anyone pressure you or guilt you into making a decision for your child that you arent comfortable with. He is YOURS.

Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2010

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I'm actually having this same problem. We are at the point that we no longer go over to their house. If they want to see our daughter then they come over here. There is no reason for you to have to drop what your doing all the time to cater to them! We go sometimes, but there has to be some middle ground here.

Kimberly - posted on 01/05/2010

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omg, my mother in law is definately a shit disturber. She told my husband I was lazy and a horrible mom because he cleans the house and takes care of our son all day, even when I get home... Because I have WORKED all day. How is it when I was working full-time, and cleaning up the house after work, plus taking care of our child; while he sat on his ass on his computer all day and did nothing... I had to HIRE a sitter while I worked because he wouldn't do anything, yet now that he doesn't work I am lazy because I don't do the house work... Riiiight. Not to mention the holidays, holy crap! This woman made a HUGE deal on how we HAD to be at her house for ALL holidays because it was her way, and tried to force us to take our sick son from her house to Sears to get pictures done with all the grandkids... Not to mention his mom says stuff like " I am afraid Kim's mom is going to kidnap Anthony", or "Are you guys purposely trying to keep him from me?!" Seriously?! I mean REALLY?! I already have and keep refusing to let my grandmother see our son because she is a psychotic nut job, and I am about to do the same with his mother... Ontop of that his family kept forcing him to get a paternity test, ever AFTER Anthony was born... I mean, my son looks NOTHING like me, and everything like his dad.. So again, REALLY? So half of his family wouldn't say congrats, or have anything to do with my son until my husband go the paternity test, and now they feel like they should have a say on whether or not they get to see him? holy crap!!!!! I'd rather chew off my own arms then be with my in-laws, and I'd rather my son never know them at this rate. My husband has tried talking to his family about it, either they don't get it or he is just bad at telling them to f off. I don't know, but I am going to knock someone out in that family and soon.

Nicole - posted on 01/05/2010

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i have the same problem, except were not married. she feels i always have to go out of my way..everyday! i have to work and go to school so i can't see her every day. when she doesn't get her way she will go out of her way and tell my boyfriend things like "nikki only wanted to move back up north so she could break up with you and make you pay child support, she told me that" if i wanted to dump him i would of and why would i tell her. she only got like this after haley was born. and she says i need mental help and she just aggravates me and everything. she tries to stir up drama. but now i don't go over to his parents house anymore. i know im missing out on seeing my boyfriend more, but she pushed me to that point. and i put her on my own personal probation with my daughter. she can see haley when my boyfriend has her. i refuse to go out of my way anymore, especially when she treats me like that. the hell with her.

Tannis - posted on 01/05/2010

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I have had problems in the past with the MIL, not to the extent you are experiencing. It seems to work best if the comments come from your husband. If it comes from you, you become the naggy, awful DIL and that doesn't always help. It's hard to keep your tongue held at times, and you should let your opinion known. It took me freaking out several times and my husband having a good chat with his mom to get the point across. It would also help if the hubby is on the same page. His talk with mom has to be from him, not him relaying your feelings. He has to own it as well. It'll be too bad for your son if he has to lose out on time with gramma cuz she's a nutjob but she'll get the point sooner or later are realize that she's gonna have to change if she wants to have a relationship with her grandkids. Best of luck to you!!

Tiffani - posted on 01/05/2010

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the best thing i can say is talk to them tell them how you feel and be honest i know its hard because if you are anything like me you will want to say some stuff you might regreat in the long run!! but if you don't express you feelings they might never know how you truly feel!! its hard belive me we live withmy mother in law and there are days were iwould love to tell her off!! but everyone is diffrent and theres not to much you can do about that but iam sure it would make you feel better to get some stuff off your chest and if they don't like what you have to say well then i say srew them!!

Niki - posted on 01/05/2010

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Welp from my experience if your husband doesn't feel the exact same way you do-and I'm guessing he doesn't cuz they are his parents-then you are screwed. I've been through some of the same things and it hasn't gotten better yet. You just kind of have to have as little to do with them as possible.

Sheryl - posted on 01/05/2010

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i what i would do is talk to your husbend and till him that you feel like they need to come see him sometimes. instead of you guys always going there! what would be a really good idea is for you and your husbend to set down with them and have a talk. hope that helps!

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