my son has been taken away from me for a silly bruise

Rhian - posted on 08/24/2009 ( 198 moms have responded )

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i noticed my son had a bruise on his ear tuesday morning and i asked the health visitor to come and check it out. following day i was orderd by the health visitor to take my son to hospital so my son could be looked at by the doctors. now a police investigation is going on as i have been accused of picking my child up by the ear!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am now without my son as i am not allowed to see him unless supervised access. police investigation's are still going on! i dont know what to do or where to take this ??? any on help :'(

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Lyndsay - posted on 08/27/2009

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That's craziness. You should definitely speak to a lawyer. I work in the children's service system and I know they don't just take your kid away for no reason. If you really didn't do anything then maybe you should look in to the other people who have had unsupervised access to your child, even for a moment.

Heather - posted on 08/27/2009

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OMG that sounds so silly,my lil boy has lil scratches on his legs coz hes tryin 2 walk and keeps fallin on his toys.Hang in there mate im sure ure a great mum and im sure evrythin will b ok.My heart goes out 2 u and i pray everythin gets sorted 4 u very soon.xx

Mariela - posted on 08/27/2009

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the same thing happend to my sister in law, basically no matter how inocent u are they will make it seem that you did something wrong. I am a strong believe that God will take you thru anything. But he can't do it alone. Arm yourself, get a lawyyer. do as much research as you can about the court system. Do you own investigation. Find out how, what where and why. You need to know and trust me. they are not looking at anyone else or anyone else. this is up to you. Be prepared for a long drawn out battle, unless you take a plea when they offer it. They'll order parenting classes and visits once a week after three months you'll graduate to twice a week. it will take at least six months for unsupervised visits. it's wrong. I know. My sisterinlaw went out someone was watching the baby when she came back she noticed that his psoriacis was acting up, she took him to the hospital. The drs mixed up xrays because their was another mother by the same name at the hospital. they said that my nephew was bitten under the arm and had broken ribs. it took a year and a half and even though it was proven that it wasn't my nephew she has a recod and for the next five years cannot work with children. so crazy things happen to good people.

Rebecca - posted on 08/27/2009

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I don't want this to sound the wrong way (I do feel sad for you & anyone else in this positiong), but I'm glad that people are going to this extreme to protect a child. I don't agree with them taking away a non abused child from his obviously loving mom over a bruised ear (my son gets them on occasion...not sure why), but I have seen too many cases of child abuse, and it's comforting to know that authorities are learning from each case, and mistake, and trying to stop possible abuse before its too late. My only advice is prove to the authorities that you are a good mother, and that your child is not in danger with you. Have faith, and it'll work out in the end.

Carrara - posted on 08/27/2009

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I am SO sorry. My heart goes out to you. I know i can't do anything but u got lots of hugs and prays coming to you. keep us updated plz..

Jessica - posted on 08/27/2009

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Wow Thats Insane! My daughter broke her leg when she was 3 and they investigated but they didnt take her away! I have to agree with Mandy Griffin, Just pray and ask God for help and everything will turn out right.

DAWN - posted on 08/27/2009

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I would talk to a lawyer see what information they can get and what exactly you are being charged with. Then i would do like the other moms have said and gather character witnesses. I really hope everything works out for you.

Grace - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

Get an attorney. Be open and honest and try to communicate calmly and rationally. I know it is hard but they took you child because they felt they had too for his safety so they were just doing their job. If you can get it across to them that you are a sane rational person and point out that when you noticed the bruise you were having it checked out then hopefully everything will be cleared up. Most people that do abuse their children don't take them to the doctor to get the bruises checked out afterward.


 

Tara - posted on 08/27/2009

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This sounds like they are taking things to the extreme, I have three kids which have all at one point in time had some weird mark (because they're active kids)... I noticed that your not in the united states though maybe they have different regulations when it comes to things like this. My advise to you would be talk to a lawyer even if you cant afford one they may be able to give you free legal advise over the phone or online. I would also maybe get personal written notarized statements from family, friends and people that have seen how you interact with your son, basically stating what kind of mother they think you are etc... Then if I would take it as far as calling news stations to tell your story on air even radio stations... nothing like spreading the word of what the authorities are doing to you, when your not even proven guilty.... just getting out your heart felt story may do the trick you never know a lawyer could hear your story and have advise free advise for you...

Stefani - posted on 08/27/2009

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Wow I am sorry. Where r u from? I live in CA, and I took my kids to talk to CPS, cause they said their father was hitting them across the head and throwind things at them ,and he was still making them shower together boy and girl. And they did NOTHING. thats horrible, for a little bruise. I hope everything goes ok

Nicole - posted on 08/27/2009

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Wow I can't believe some of the stuff I have read on here. This poor girl has had her son taken away and she turned to circle of moms for some advice, and there was some really good advice given to her and then there are the moms who should make their own group called circle of bitches. I to have turned to circle of moms for advice only to feel like I was being accused of being a bad mom for no good reason. I really feel for you and hope you get all the hope you can get. Some people are right though, my friend grew up in a house where her mom and step father were on drugs all the time, the children were locked in their rooms all day long, Once when I was there I went into one of the kids room and when we moved the bed out from the wall there was poop all down the walls everywhere it was so gross and it was the most awful situation for a child to be in and child services was called on them by so many different people and nothing was ever done about it. I saw first hand what these kids went through, being hit and yelled at and locked in a room all day and NOTHING was ever done. It is a messed up thing when people are accused of doing something they didnt do everyday, over and over. You try to bring your child to the doctor to get help because you are a concerned mom and they treat you like crap, I have been there, brought my daughter into the emergency room late at night and treated like I done something wrong, if I wasnt concerned for my daughter I would have stayed home and went to sleep. I really hope this girl gets her son back asap. I really feel for you and think the peole who make mean or rude comments should be removed from this group, I know they are just stating their own opinion but if they feel like they have to be mean about it when this girl came on asking for HELP then they should not say anything at all. Take care! And please let us know when you get your son back so we can all feel happy for you!

Natalie - posted on 08/27/2009

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I think everything will work out, they will notice there hasn't been any other reports of abuse and have them come out and look at your house and talk to people that know you. I really find it odd to because my son is 16 months and he has bruised all over his legs from running and falling down and then he has even had bruises on his forehead HORRIBLE ones from falling and hitting his head and I have taken him to the doctor with him like that and they just say," boys will be boys". You should make sure no one has filed anything against you or made a complaint just to be certain because usually it takes a few times before they physically take your child away. That is so absurd, my heart goes out to you and your family.

[deleted account]

Then they should lock me & my husband up.... our youngest son who is 7 months banged his head on our tv stand which left a small cut above his right eye and has a big

bruise... he did this two days ago.....

when we took him to the doctor to get it check out, our doctor was cool about it he said boys are boys no matter the age & that it wont be his last... If my doctor said otherwise I would have slapped him as my kids are nearly at the doctors every week with briuses bumps small cuts my kids are feral but they are not abused they are just kids & I can't be everywhere with my kids so they are bound to get hurt without us knowing....what happened to you is a joke that's wrong did they even tell you what might have happened or did they blamed you straight away??? that's just wrong they wil also blame the parents when it comes to kids under 3 but they don't care what you have to say they'll just make your life hell and don't help when your son could have gotten the bruise due to a health issue or just from playing they won't even bother looking into it until you say u did it even though you didn't do anything to him which is bloodly wrong! good luck with it & Hope & Prey he comes back to you :)

Lacey - posted on 08/27/2009

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If you have done nothing wrong then they will see that and your son will be back with you, i cant understand what your going through but it must be hell but try to stay upbeat for the sake of your son. I hope they realise they have made a massive mistake and he comes home soon! xxx

Roxie - posted on 08/27/2009

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u dont have to like the game but u do have to play do what they say and it will be over b4 u know it my boys always have cuts and bruise on them they rough house all the time keep ur nose clean and play the game my father in law gave me great advice everyone thinks they can raise ur child better then u keep ur head up

Cathy - posted on 08/27/2009

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I think this is absolutely crazy! I would talk to a lawyer about this. My son is very active and runs around like a maniac and always gets bumps and bruises from running into a wall because he runs faster then his little feet can carry him or trips over toys and such. You defiantly have my prayers and I hope everything works out for you.

Danielle - posted on 08/27/2009

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if this is the first and only incident that the police have been involved or a doctor has been involved than they have no right to take ur child... if u "pick" up ur child by the ears than there would be more than just bruising and it would be on both ears... you have every right to fight this and trust me you will win especially if this is the only incident... .there was no ground for them to take your child and i truly hope that you get ur son back real soon

Christina - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting Diana:

Im sorry to say this but it couldnt of been that little of a bruse for them to take him away from you they just wont theres has to be more to that story. Kids get bruses all the time , but they dont get taken away. Im not saying you have done anything wrong is just logic to think of something different when you said "Silly bruise" . It couldnt of been that silly.....


That's where you're wrong, this past May my ADHD 11yr old daughter was at school and her teacher noticed a bruise the about the size of a golf ball width wise and called DCF. When they went to the school my daughter told them that she fell off the swing set and hit her arm against the seesaw. They did not even inform me that they were there, I was just left standing at the bus stop freaking out bc my kids didn't get off the bus!!! They would not let me see them for 3hrs before I had to go and meet the lady who took them at her office, where they had a Dr looking over them, I am STILL going through this mess!!!!!! They keep saying that theres no way a bruise like that was caused from jumping out of a swing mid air and hitting her arm against the seesaw, when in fact that's what really happened. It got so bad that we had to call the case worker's boss and tell them to either assign the case to someone else or the bitch was not allowed in our house unless she had another person with her. She YELLED at my daughter on the phone, the one that theyre supposedly trying to "protect" mind you. We have not seen her since.



So in reality, yes, a bruise can simply be "just a bruise" These idiots don't need a reason to take children away from their parents, they do it just bc it makes them feel like theyre helping someone, when really all they're doing is hurting the child by taking them from their home etc.

Rachel - posted on 08/27/2009

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the social network if messed up if they take a child away from you for a bruise on the ear then why in hell are they not looking at all the parents that beat their children to near death or even kill ther kids, kids gets little brusies all the time my little girl bumps her head all the time but she walks into things coz she is unsteady on her feet but does that mean im a bad mum? stand your ground hunni karma will kick them up the arse coz the coppers don't have a fuckin clue! be strong and you will get him back!

Carol - posted on 08/27/2009

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if there is no proof that you gave your child the bruise then you should get your son back, my thoughts are with you

xx

Renarda - posted on 08/27/2009

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Just keep being the best mom you can and be to all the vist schedule times and show them that you do love your child and that you will bend over backwards when it comes down to it! Good Luck i wish you the best!

Pamela - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting Rhian:



Quoting Diana:

Im sorry to say this but it couldnt of been that little of a bruse for them to take him away from you they just wont theres has to be more to that story. Kids get bruses all the time , but they dont get taken away. Im not saying you have done anything wrong is just logic to think of something different when you said "Silly bruise" . It couldnt of been that silly.....






im sorry to inform you but it was just a bruise on his ear. everyone i know is saying how stupid it is! my partner sees me with my son every day and he knows i would not hurt him! they took him away as i said because they think i have picked him up by his ear. people like you are very small minded and i have come on here for some advise not to be put down thank you very much





Hi Rhain



 



I didn't realise that you wrote earlier that the bruise was to his ear, this would give them cause to take him as they may have thought that you hit him and they always treat any bruising to the face/head very seriously. My guess is that they are treating it as a case of child abuse so i would see your lawyer as soon as possible. Nurses/Child Health workers/Doctors are all mandated notifiers which means they legally have to report any suspicious bruises or marks on any child not matter what the parent has told them has occurred. I would see your lawyer and try and work through this.

Becci - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting Stefanie:

Health visitor? Have you had accusations against you in the past? If so (I ask b/c I've never heard of a Health Visitor before), then that may be why they are taking this so seriously.



In England we have a widwife who looks after us in pregnancy, labour and the first month. After that you have a health visitor who looks after you and your family until your child is 5. You still see the doctor for prescriptions and things, they are just specially trained for the ages they cover and offer advice and support.



 



Hope this helps clear it up.

Becci - posted on 08/27/2009

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That's insane! If you had caused it, you wouldn't have pointed it out! I doubt a child/babies ear is strong enough to pick them up by anyway.



When I was a kid, I was abused, my mum called social services asking for help and to keep us safe until my dad was out of the picture. The school had already contacted them about us and so had our church yet they did nothing. It took 11 years before we were put into care.



I can't get over how much it took to get help for us and how little it took for them to jump to conclusions against you.



You have done nothing wrong so justice should provail. Get legal advice and fight for the truth. Hopefully all will be well. Good luck hunni, thoughts are with you.

Marionita - posted on 08/27/2009

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Oh my God, how could they deprive you of your child. Children can get hurt without us knowing immediately especially if the baby is very active and playful. Wahtever the reason the Doctor should have been enuf why do they have to investigate you?

[deleted account]

If it's absolutely bogus. then I suggest you contact your local ombudsmen if your canadian. or a polition even your local or provincial/state newspaper. local radio. once then social services feels the heat on them things will speed up right away. get a lawyer and document anything and everything you can think of. times and dates that you have access as well as phone calls. whether or not they were late. how long you could see your child for etc.

Jessica - posted on 08/27/2009

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omg hunni that is so bad. my son is a very active lil boy n his always falling over n runing into walls n stuff he has bruise all over atm he has two massive eggs on his forhead both from running after the dog n fallin on the floor boards just 2 days after the first one, both times i took him to the doc jsu to be sure nothing was wrong with him cause he hit his head rele hard twice in a matter of days but if u ask him wat happened he will say i ran axel(the dogs nane) then he will say i fall hit head , my son has also broke his collar bone a needed stitches a few months gao was jumpin on the couch n landed on one of those metal money boxes n spilt the side of his nose opened n i still hav my son n notyhing bad has happened to me, n just something as simple as a lil bruise has gotten ur lil one taken from u, wish u all the best look after urself n take care

Rhian - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting destiney:

hi rhian same thing happened 2 me back in 2003 i got through it with help from familys and friends they can help u with support



what happened with your children did u get them back? and how long did it take?

Destiney - posted on 08/26/2009

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hi rhian same thing happened 2 me back in 2003 i got through it with help from familys and friends they can help u with support

Kim - posted on 08/26/2009

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I wish I could tell you something that would mean the return of your little one. My only suggestion, that I haven't seen from someone else already, is to try a play therapist. They are trained to pick up on the subtelties that very young children communicate with in play. Not someone who will hand him a doll and say "show us what mommy does to you," someone who will watch him play how he normally plays, who will not coach him, someone who is trained specifially in play therapy and whose references and court cases you can personally check.



I wish you all the luck in the world. Just try to stay focused.

Jennifer - posted on 08/26/2009

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That's horrible, but if you did nothing wrong it will work out. My stepson's mother doesn't take care of him and he's always hurt, has horrible diaper rash, burns, etc, and we've contacted dhr repeatedly and they won't do anything...yet they take kids away from people who are taking care of their kids, go figure! the system is seriously messed up!

Bridgette - posted on 08/26/2009

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That is insane! I would call a lawyer and write down everything that happens. I was in the foster care system and Ive seen cps do some crazy things but never like this. Did they ever determine what caused the bruise? Did they have anything that proves it was you? Im sorry your going through this but the main thing is stay calm and do whatever they ask of you....parenting classes ect. Even if you did nothing wrong, they want to see your anger to have something for court. Keep your head up!

Christy - posted on 08/26/2009

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When my son was first learning to run he ran into the corner on the entertainment center. He gave himself two black eyes! It looked horrible. I actually covered it with make-up because so many people said I did it. Kids get bruises...they play, they run, they fall...I don't understand why people don't get that. I hope all works out in the end.

Qiana - posted on 08/26/2009

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First off I would like to say that I will add you and your situaton to my prayer specifically . As someone else had said that you know that you haven't did anything wrong , so you throw this battle into God's hand and watch how he pulls you out of this situation. My favorite motto is Every now and then you might have trials and tribulation , to see how strong you are or how strong you will remain . The situation is so crazy , he's a baby and baby has little boo boo's here and there ,on top of all things ( no offense ) you guys are white and I am sure you all bruise faster than a light skinned black person . This just pissed me off because it is children who are really being abused and all the evidence are there , but they disregard these cases and here it is a mom who loves her baby ( it's obvious that you do , because what other reason would you notify your child's health care provider ) . You see the police are so dumb , if you did this to your baby, why would you volunteer to notify the health care provider about this problem or why would you be willing to take your baby to the hospital . Girl ,God has your back ! ! ! You just stay prayed up . I can only imagine what you are going through as well as your baby ( missing you and being around strangers ) I WISH YOU THE BEST AND I JUST SAID A PRAYER FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY !

Betty - posted on 08/26/2009

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What state are you living in? What terrible doctors to call the police on a concerned mother. I hope you can get them in trouble for this cruelty. Is your son staying with family?

Tiffany - posted on 08/26/2009

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I cdould kind of relate to you, just that they didnt physically take my kids away from me. Last Christmas my dad, his wife and 3 kids came to my house for the holiday and my dad and his wife got into a fist fight and he started to beat my brother i called the cops and around 6 in the morning christmas day ACS was in my house doing an investigation, I had an open ACS case for about 30 days until they finally closed the case. But I cried so much so i can only imagine how u feel. I just dont understand how someone can take away a child just for a briuse, best advise for you is get a lawyer get as many witness as possible proving how much of a good parent you are, and FIGHT for you baby! I hope all is well, good luck!

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2009

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OMG! I'm so sorry to hear that! I have a friend going through similar crap, only she has supervised visits in a COURTHOUSE AND THEY STILL SAY THE BRUISES ARE FROM HER!!! I dont get the system! My sister in law abuses her two kids, she's been investigated about 6 times yet they continue to let her keep the kids! it's outrageous! Get a really good lawyer if u can and good luck hunnie!!! I wish u the best.

Britt - posted on 08/26/2009

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Quoting Lindsey:

It's amazing how things have changed...When I was being abused they didn't take me away they believed my step-mom everytime. What has changed that now they go to the extreme of taking children from the people who actually love and keep their children safe??!! I don't think we'll ever get it right. :( If There really is no cause for the removal of your son, Im truely sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you.



i agree with you things have changed wish. i had the same problem as you i wish that they would get the system fixed. about the bruses do you have a husbend or boyfriend or daycare or just a kid that comes over if you do i would tell the cops to look in to these people too it migt just be another kid at daycare and the person watching just did not see it happen. if you have a boyfriend or husbend or your son spends time with the father alone don't just think that i love him he loves my son he would not do anything to hurt him. you could be wrong i am not saying you are but you could be trust me i know from first had my mom still thinks my step dad never did anything wrong but i would not make the stuff up. so  i hope all works out for you and they find out what really happened and i know this was not you because child abusers hide and deny they don't try to get the child help

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2009

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i am so sorry you have to go threw that. You try to fight back. There is no reason for them to be invertigating you for alittle burise.

Jen - posted on 08/26/2009

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Quoting Diana:

Im sorry to say this but it couldnt of been that little of a bruse for them to take him away from you they just wont theres has to be more to that story. Kids get bruses all the time , but they dont get taken away. Im not saying you have done anything wrong is just logic to think of something different when you said "Silly bruise" . It couldnt of been that silly.....



I have to say I agree with Diana. Working in law enforcement for 6 years and growing up in a law enforcement family I have become familiar with the process. On the other hand, my 8 year old was put in protective custody for a short time when he was a baby due to being exposed to domestic violence, his dad beat the crap out of me, until I could get out of the situation and establish a place of my own, which I quickly did. Also, my stepchildren were put in protective custody or a few days and then placed with us after their biological mother was arrested for domestic violence. She has made reports against us left and right, including allegations of abuse due to seeing bruises, in an attempt to regain custody yet every time an investigation is done it comes out negative and the kids remain with us. They have not yet taken the kids from our home as a result of a bruise. However, none of the bruises have been suspicious and they are all obviously normal bruises a child can easily get by playing outside. For police to become involved, an investigation started, AND your child to be taken away I hate to say it but it was more than likely not "a silly bruise" and they see something that you may or may not be telling us. I'm not saying that you did in fact do anything wrong, I'm just saying there is probably more to the story you are telling us and without the full story, no details left out, no personal feelings included, there is not one single person that can offer you any assistance on where to go and what to do. I know what a mess it can be and I do wish you good luck. Just do everything they ask you and be honest with not only them but also yourself.

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2009

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How old is your son? That is just another example of how our child welfare system has failed, They take children from the innocent while millions of others suffer from abuse and neglect. If you did something wrong, why would you seek medical attention for your son, its obvious that you are a caring mother who was trying to make sure her son was okay. This is why some children with cancer go undiagnosed because mothers are scared to take their children for medical treatment in fear of getting them taken by our system. Your poor son must be so scared and confused, and I am so sorry for your family you will remain in my prayers.

Lacey - posted on 08/26/2009

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I'm sorry! thats such bs! my son is so active and runs around all the time..he gets a lot of little bruises! im sorry this happened..hopefully everything ends up alright!!!

Linda - posted on 08/26/2009

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I agree with the bottom reply of getting a lawyer on this. I have a way to give you that very trusted attorney plan that can let you know what to do and know your rights that will not take $200 or more to talk to your own attorney. If interested get back to me, Rhian. I do want to help you! This type of things that happen make me angry with our system that is suppose to help us. You do not sound that you would do what they have accused you of. Let me help you, fast.

I am a grandma, a successful business woman that has helped many people;, that are not treated right be empowered to have and know their rights..

Linda Newell (Bennett)

Rachael - posted on 08/26/2009

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Another thing I thought of. I don't know if the bar association for your state has a referral service (I know Washington does), but it's a good place to start if your feeling overwhelmed. Washington charges you $30 for a list of attorneys that work on your type of case in your area. It's still a list you'd have to go through to call and interview potential attorneys, but it's a smaller list than the phonebook & you'll get people who practice the area of law you need. County bar association sometimes have this service as well.

On top of the experience an attorney has you'll want to look at their personality traits. Some attorneys will have a great track record, but no client skills. If you can handle going for long time periods without case updates then that should be fine, but if not, you might want to look into hiring someone else. Switching attorneys in the middle of a case can be annoying at best. Some attorneys have free consults so you can judge this. Some only over the phone.

Where I’m at, if people have problems paying for an attorney there are legal clinics, and some larger firms set aside a certain amount of time to do pro bono work as a community service. That might be an option as well if that’s needed.

I really hope that this clears itself up for you and you don’t need any of this advise.

Tiffany - posted on 08/26/2009

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I cant imagine having my baby taken away! Does your baby go to daycare where do you think the bruise came from? As long as you did no wrong you stay positive and pray that all comes back in your favor!

Bonita - posted on 08/26/2009

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unfortunatly when it comes to child safety authorities always air on the side of caution in the interest of the child's safety. at any rate, higher a good lawyer and disclose all of your son's medical records since birth as well all the character witnessess you can find that can speak on the bond between you and your child as well as how healthy and happy your child is. i would also advise doing research on bruises and various causes of them.....to help your lawyer in fighting these allegations on your behalf.

Rhian - posted on 08/26/2009

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Quoting Diana:

Im sorry to say this but it couldnt of been that little of a bruse for them to take him away from you they just wont theres has to be more to that story. Kids get bruses all the time , but they dont get taken away. Im not saying you have done anything wrong is just logic to think of something different when you said "Silly bruise" . It couldnt of been that silly.....



im sorry to inform you but it was just a bruise on his ear. everyone i know is saying how stupid it is! my partner sees me with my son every day and he knows i would not hurt him! they took him away as i said because they think i have picked him up by his ear. people like you are very small minded and i have come on here for some advise not to be put down thank you very much

Samantha - posted on 08/26/2009

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Wow that is sad. I'm sorry to hear that. I would die if my son was taken from me. It seems weird that they would take him away for just that. I know someone that used to be abused by her mom all the time and they never took her away. They simply sent her mom a letter saying, "We received a report that you beat your child and would like to set up a meeting w/you." So of course, her mom got a chance to prepare and she got away w/it. That is really wrong and screwed up if you didn't do anything wrong and get your child taken over one bruise and my friend didn't get taken away after a lifetime of abuse.

Rachael - posted on 08/26/2009

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I agree with Stephanie Goudreault. Get an attorney and document everything. My mom almost had me taken away because a bowl fell on my forhead when I grabbed a towel from the kitchen counter. Not a big deal, but I had 4 stiches and a black eye. My mom's welfare social worker tried to take me away on the spot without asking my mom one question. She just kept telling me mom mom beat me. I kept telling her i fell. Point is, people jump to what they think is a conclusion without facts quite often. The truth, and the documentation of it, is what will help you the most now.

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