need advice!! I'm a first time mom-to-be!

Summer - posted on 06/19/2010 ( 104 moms have responded )

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Hi, my name is summer and I'm new to the circle of mom's! I'm 27 years old and I am 8 months pregnant and I'm starting to feel things like I'm going to fail or I'm going to drop her cause I'm clumsy. Is this normal or am I just being a freak? I am so emotional and I even get nightmares now. If anyone could possibly let me know it's me or it is the pregnancy I'd greatly feel better. P.S. what is a THUMP?

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Erica - posted on 06/22/2010

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I'm not sure what a THUMP is but I can tell you your totally normal. I was the same way, always questioning if I was going to screw up or if I could be a good mom. I had nightmares about dropping my baby or accidentally leaving him in the bath and him drowning. It was horrible. Most of this is just your hormones and the stress of a major life change that is about to take place. I mean, your about ready to be responsible for the life of another human being, a life long commitment. You won't fail though. Sure, you'll make mistakes, everyone does but you learn and it helps you grow as a mom. Trust me though, the fact that you feel this way makes you normal and tells me your going to be a great mother. Congratulations!

Anna - posted on 06/21/2010

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It's the hormones...
I have two children, and one is 11 months old I still feel that way. Honestly it doesn't get better with time because once you have your baby, your maternal side will kick in and you'll be just fine. If you want someone to talk to feel free to message me.

Crissi Lynn - posted on 06/19/2010

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lol youre just being a friek lol i had horrible nightmares, was terrified that i would forget to change diapers, worried about spoiling too much, wanted my house perfect, worried about falling with her while walking down the stairs lol all sorts of things too! we as women and mothers to be have a job and obligation almost to worry about every little thing...i cried at the drop of a hat and five minutes later would be fine. its just those hormones going nuts and thats all... and btw you have a free pass to be, look, feel and act crazy til the end of this!!! lol nobody knows how you feel but you. you will be fine and i promise all those worries will fade the moment you look at your little girl and you wont remember enjoying anything as much as her in your whole life!!! ♥♥ good luck

Michelle - posted on 06/19/2010

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i have 5 children and i felt the same with every single one of them its natural to be nervous

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Danica - posted on 06/24/2010

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If you worry it's because you care and that's a good thing lol If you didn't worry then there's something wrong with you. I'm a first time mom to an 8 mo old and I had him at 22. So I was scared my entire pregnancy and the hormonal changes we go through did not help at all. Plus my husband and I live in AZ and all our family is in TX but we got stationed here so here I was thinking "What am I going to do all alone with no help and so far away?" Trust me it all works out and I think my husband and I do an awesome job with our son. You'll be fine :)

Jamie - Lee - posted on 06/24/2010

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Being a first time mom as well I felt the same thing as you're feeling. It is normal because babies are fragile but once you hold that precious joy in your arms for the first time the fear will go away.

Michelle - posted on 06/24/2010

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hi my name is michelle n i had my baby at age 17 yes i know young but it normal to fell all that it will go away.. i was like too but i got over it a little after i had my son.. n congrats !!!

Rene - posted on 06/24/2010

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I AGREE WITH ALL I WAS 15 WHEN I HAD MY FIRST BABY AND THAT WAS EVEN MORE SCARY BUT I GOT THROUGH IT JUST FINE. ONCE THE BABY COMES ITS LIKE CLOCK WORK AND UR MOTHER INSTINCTS COME IN TO PLAY. YOULL BE FINE CANT WAIT TO SEE PICS OF THE BABY

Rachelle - posted on 06/24/2010

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i am a very clumsy person i'd fall down right on my bum at least once a day! i was very careful while pregnant and my daughter is 6 1/2 months old and my clumsy days are gone (well at least when shes around) You are so carful of that little baby trust me you'll never let anything happen! i still get nervouse when i go up and down the stairs with her but i fuigure i'm going to be like that no matter what i can't keep her in a bubble :( wish i could

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2010

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Nervous is all part of it. Once that little one here you will feel a lot better. I was a little blue for the first 2 weeks, but once I got into the swing of the whole "Mommy" thing it all fades away! Good luck to you!

Tanya - posted on 06/24/2010

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well when u go to ur next doctor's appt tell him everything he can help u with most of the things ur feelin just relax and be normal that's my adive to u ; ) and try to find lot of info u wanna know with prego moms..

Jaci - posted on 06/24/2010

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It's all normal dear. But like others have said, if it gets overwhelming after you have you baby talk to your doctor about post partum depression.
and just in case you havent gotten the answer to your PS question...

THUMPS:

--Threats (You may not publish or post direct, specific threats of violence or illegal acts against others.)
--Hate Speech (No slurs or stereotyping.)
--Unlawful Use (You may not use Circle of Moms for unlawful purposes or promotion of illegal activities. If it's illegal where you live or in the state of California it's illegal here.)
--Misrepresentation (You must be who you say you are. No false profiles or false children's profiles.)
--Personal attacks (You may not abuse, slander, or vilify another member.)
--Spam (You may not publish or post solicitations or advertisements except in designated areas.)

(It spells out THUMPS with all the first letters. =)

Congrats on your pregnancy and enjoy motherhood!!

Lyndsay - posted on 06/24/2010

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Thats your maternal instinct kicking in i'd be more concerned if you werent feeling these things with your first child i was even worse with my second i had a 3 door car and use to have nightmares that we'd break down on the level crossing annd i wouldn't be able to get both girls out or what if my eldest climbs into babys cot in middle of the night and accidently suffercates heryou just want to be a good mum and protect your child and i'm sure you will do a great job good luck and congratulations xx

Ilaisaane - posted on 06/23/2010

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Dont worry its all part of the process you go through all the motions but just be assured that you are normal. These are things that alot of people go through. Just enjoy it while you can. The crying out the blues i dont get it but yeah it happens. All the best. You'll be a great mom. Dont worry so much just relax because baby will feel your anxiousness.

Angie - posted on 06/23/2010

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Oh yeah that's pregnacy.I really had some strange dreams when pregnant also, and those fears you speak of ran through my mind everyday. Once you hold that little miracle for the first time you get this strength you never thought you would have. Being a mom is hard but if you didn't question all these things what kind of a mom would you be? Your going to do great. Congrats!

Michelle - posted on 06/23/2010

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IiI hhahad mmy ddadaudadaughter last year I was so scared that I would drop her or or do something wrong that would totally screw her up for life but the first time I held her I just knew I would be alright it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do but when your baby's born your natural instant will kick in and you'll know what to do so try to relax and you'll be ok

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2010

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its the hormones! i felt the same way. and your always going to worry from here on out. and im clumsy too lol and once your baby is born, believe me... you will never allow yourself to do anything to hurt your baby. congrats and good luck!

Nicole - posted on 06/23/2010

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It's normal. Almost every mom to be feels like they won't do a good job or I will drop the baby. But once you are holding your baby you know that you will do your best and that you could never drop your baby. Just remember holding someone else's baby is way different than holder your own. You feel more confident once you're holding your own. Goodluck.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/23/2010

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I used to worry about dropping kayla down the stairs and I had nightmares too. But at the end of the day I knew that I loved that little kicking monster in my belly and I would do everything I could to make sure she was safe. I was so scared! but I was going to try, and pray that I got it right.

Cinthia - posted on 06/23/2010

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HI SUMMER IM CINTHIA ITS NORMAL TO FEEL LIKE THAT ITS YOUR NERVOUS I WAS FEELING LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD ..YOU ARE NERVOUS BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN YOU HAVE HER IN YOUR ARMS YOU WILL BE CAREFUL I MEAN ITS YOUR BABY YOU WILL PROTECTED THE BABY NO MATTER WAT..

Jessica - posted on 06/23/2010

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YOU WILL BE FINE!!! your baby is gonna love you no matter what, and no parent is perfect we all make mistakes but you just have to learn from them.. you will know your baby better than anyone so youll know whats best!! dont worry, be excited YOUR GONNA BE A MOMMY!! good luck

Jennifer - posted on 06/23/2010

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Your feelings are so so normal. My son is going to be 1 this sunday and before he was born I had so much anxiety about breaking his and dropping him and accidentally hurt him. Honestly in my last 2 months of pregnancy I used to dream about dropping him every night. My fiancee thought I was absolutly crazy but I seriously made myself sick with worry. Once he was born I was so so careful with him and the anxiety didnt go away till he was a couple months old. You will be just fine and dont worry about dropping or hurting her.

Karmi - posted on 06/23/2010

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You are no where near crazy, I had the samething happen to me. Crazy dreams and thoughts. But as soon as that baby comes out all of your fears will start to fade away. You will fall into the role of being a mom perfectly and just remember that if you keep having these feelings talk to your OBGYN after the birth. Because you may then have the "baby blues" that happens after birth. It isn't uncommon, but talking to someone will always help.

Katy - posted on 06/23/2010

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It is completely normal to feel that way! It is very scary being a first time mother, or even becoming a mother again. I am a first time mom and the other day I accidently bonked my son's head when I picked him up... He screamed for like a second and stopped...I was mortified, I thought I was going to break out in tears. As my mom quickly told me, " Katy it is okay, it will not be the first time he ever bonks his head" Point being, no one is perfect and you will accidently pinch or something like that. Just remember to take as many deep breaths as you need to, and it is okay to say you need a break. As for the nightmares, I had them all the time. I think those are due more to hormones then anything.
Good luck with everything! You will do great!

Jessica - posted on 06/23/2010

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Congrats! I just turned 28 and my son is now two months old. Don't worry, it will all happen so fast. You will be amazed at how things will just come naturally.

Brittney - posted on 06/23/2010

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Very normal. I did it when I was pregnant with my son who's about to turn 2 months old. I was very scared I would drop him because of my bad elbows. But 2 months have flown by and I haven't thank goodness. And you won't fail unless you just completely ignore the baby. Just show him/her how much you love them everyday!

Tina - posted on 06/23/2010

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this is very normal...before my daughter was born i was scared about everything...that i would not wake up to her cries...that i would forget to feed her....etc...once she was born everything came naturally to me

Kelly - posted on 06/23/2010

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Summer...

I just had my first, she is now 5 weeks, and a handful. Well into my 8th month, i started having nightmares that people were gonna tak her, thought id make a horrible mother. But trust me, it goes away. Once you hold your baby for the first time, ur instincts will kick right in. Oh, and i suggest if u use formula, get Enfamil Gentlease....its my best friend! good luck hun!

Crystal - posted on 06/23/2010

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Awh honey! That is perfectly normal. I had dreams all the time about forgetting to feed my daughter for months at a time ect. I was Super clumsy, and very forgetfull. You won't fail as a mother, the fact that you're worried about failing alone means you won't! You care! Trust me, the majority of motherhood comes natural. The best piece of advice I can give you is to stay 48hrs. at the hospital. They'll try to kick you out at 24 hrs...but it's your right to stay the 48hrs. I would read the book "Baby Wise"... it is a life saver! Also, get the what to expect the first year book! You can always ask me, my daughter is 2 1/2 months and I will be more than happy to help you (btw, I'm a first time mommy too)

Katie - posted on 06/23/2010

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It is all pregnancy and first time mommy nerves. I am a first time mommy and when I was 7 months pregnant I started thinking the exact same way. As soon as I held my daughter in my arms it all went away and I knew I could do it no matter what because she deserved a great mom. All you need to do is tell yourself your going ot be a great mom and everything will be just fine.

Lindsey - posted on 06/23/2010

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girl, i did the same thing! i was so scared, and sometimes i still am. my daughter is 17 months old now and she is perfect. sometimes i still think i'm doing the right thing. like am i playing with her enough? am i feeding her the right foods? its terrifying to know you will be completely 100% responsible for a whole nother person.. but you have to remember that this is actually what you're here for.. to be a mom.. and you will do great!

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2010

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I'm 7 months pregnant, 21, and in college. I'm freaking out to. It's so good to hesar its not just me. I think it's it normal to be scared. If you weren't scared, there would be something to worry about.

Pauline - posted on 06/23/2010

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Yes its normal. When i was pregnant i felt the same way, i was worried i wouldnt know how to take care of my baby, and not know how to be a good mom. Now hes almost 4 and hes so happy and caring, so i must of done something right.lol Once you have your baby your mother instincs kick right in. I thought i could do it and i did.

Bekah - posted on 06/23/2010

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It's completely normal. When I was pregnant sometimes I would just cry because I was so afraid I was going to be a bad mom. Just relax and everything will be fine! :)

Kimberly - posted on 06/23/2010

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The best advice that I was given was to listen to everyone that wants to give the advice but in the end to do what you and your instincts feel is right. It doesn't matter what anyone else says you need to do what you want to do and you will do find. I found that as a first time mother myself, your motherly insticts kick right in and you will know when you need to ask for help.

Tiffany - posted on 06/23/2010

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hello summer, My name is Tiffany and well I don't know how much of a help I will be because I never made it past my 8th month. I got to the first couple days of the 8th month but that was it. to the feelings I think every pregnant lady goes through this. I didn't till I was in the hospital bed waiting to have our little daughter. For our daughter weighing only 3lbs 3 oz when she was born I didnt feel like I was going to drop her but her daddy sure did. Your not being a freak it's just what we go through. I also have had a couple of the nightmares and Ill tell you this I think they only get worse after you bring the bundles of joy home or at least mine did. It's just something you have to talk yourself through and remind yourself that everything is ok. At night I go check on her three and four times just to make sure she is ok because she is sleeping through the night. I guess the checking on her three and four times is just because Im part OCD! I hope I helped you some!

Tiniko - posted on 06/23/2010

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good luck with your pregnancy and yeh, I guess most of us share that strange feelings at some stages of pregnancy... I was feeling the same n was even crying sometimes saying I am gonna b a horrible mom, but I think I am getting on pretty well with my mom-routine n the baby enjoy the mom he's got a lot ;)

Jenny - posted on 06/23/2010

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every mom gets all wierd before their first child is born. it's the hormones! you'll be fine. sleep when you can and rest! you'll do great

Erin - posted on 06/23/2010

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Welcome to hormones, you will get them during and after, it's okay, it's normal. Don't get overwhelmed if you need to cry let it all out, if you have help let them HELP you, trust me, you need all the rest you can get. You won't drop her, trust me. Enjoy the movement inside your belly, because when she is out, you will miss her in there. Mom of 1 and 1 on the way. Message me if need, congrats and good luck

Melshared - posted on 06/23/2010

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yes thats completely normal..i just gave birth june 1st..im also a first time mom
when i was pregnant, i was mostly depressed about my body and scared of how i will be as a mom..but when i feel his kicks i mostly forget all my fears because i can feel my baby supporting me..
and when i gave birth to my baby boy, taking care of him felt so normal its like ive been doing it all my life..
and even though its tiring sometimes through sleepless nights,one little smile from the little one takes away all the negative feelings..

so try to enjoy your pregnancy coz i wasnt able to enjoy it that much..i was much too conscious bout my body..but good luck and dont worry to much.. =)

Jessie - posted on 06/23/2010

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It gets better after awhile trust me. If you feel too nervous and overwhelmed after the first few weeks you should speak to your doctor but I am sure you will be fine. In the hospital I wouldn't let them take my son out of the room unless it was for testing and was afraid to let anyone other than my boyfriend touch him (and that was pushing it). The first time we left the house with him we went to a family dinner and I was literally sick to my stomach letting other people touch/hold him... however it got better as I got more experience and he got older. best of luck !

Sherrie - posted on 06/23/2010

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Perfectly normal! I had nightmares about dropping him and nightmares about not feeding him it was horrible. I had him and we were fine. His first few months I was real anal about CoNSTANTLY checking on him to make sure he was "breathing" and being real paranoid always having to be near him. That goes away. He is now 9 months old and I will check on him but not every two mins like previously! Its just pregnancy jitters. You will be fine.

Stephanie - posted on 06/23/2010

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This is soooo common chick i think all new moms to be feel like this at one point or another..Im clumsy and was convinced id drop him...touch wood....never dropped him yet!!! Always happy to chat if u need to :0)

Monica - posted on 06/23/2010

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hi summer
my name is monica and i recently had my first child a month ago and i felt the same way, when i was pregnant i had horrible dreams that someone was gonna take my child, that people would punch me in the stomach to try and hurt my unborn baby and i to was scared that i was gonna do something to hurt her, my biggest fear was not waking up to her if she was crying cause she was hungry.. i did that the second night i had her when i was in hospital but i hadnt slept for 2 days since her birth so i was tired. i suggest u get the sleep u need. i also suggest u use all avenues of help from midwife to mothers group and all i still have fears of not waking when she cries but as the others have said its amazing how mothers instinct kicks in. im sure u will be fine.. good luck with everything and congratulations.

Aimee - posted on 06/23/2010

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its normal im 26 and have 5 children and i usto do silly things like put bread in the freezer that happened upto 6 months after g ivin birh nightmares 2 dont worry to much. good luck with the rest of your pregnancey

Puja - posted on 06/23/2010

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i feel the same way! i feel like im not going to be a good mom. or i might hurt the baby. babys are so small and sensitive i think alot of people get that feeling. Im sure you will be fine! good luck!

Amanda - posted on 06/22/2010

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Its all normal, my entire pregnancy i was worried sometimes i couldnt get any sleep because i was so worried, thats good though your mommy instincts will kick in and its amazing how you know what to do the second you hold him/her, good luck! it is the greatest challenge and adventure!!

Yasmin - posted on 06/22/2010

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Hey Summer, I'm 6 and a half months and I'm getting the same thing. I keep worrying that I'm going to fail. But I think its because I have a tiny little human being inside me that is going to depend on me for everything....there are big expectations, and from now on, every thing I do will affect him as well. I think its the pressure that is making me nervous....and everyone that I have spoken to, said they felt the same thing with their first children. Good luck :)

Vicki - posted on 06/22/2010

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Yep its normal. And to be honest-we aren't perfect. When my daughter was 6 months I slipped and fell and she did get a little owie. And at the moment you will think you're a failure and its the end of the world...but guess what? Babies are so resilient. It will upset you more than them. They are made that way because of all the things they will go through learning how to get around on their own. I wish I could say the worrying stops, but I can say You will do a wonderful job! Oh and I loved The Baby Book by Dr Sears. Perfect for a go to for middle of the night questions. Good luck and God Bless!

Elysia - posted on 06/22/2010

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its perfectly normal. yet another thing u can blame those hormones for. i started to freak out and have dreams that i wouldnt make it to the hospital on time and that i would deliver at home etc. and the butter fingers u are experiencing now is a normal part of pregnancy. and fears of falling with or dropping your child are normal and if u do happen to have a slip or something its amazing how good ur reflexes will b. i remember slipping with my son when he was only a couple of months old. i got hurt but he didnt even notice actually he continued to sleep through it, its funny the ways u can twist so they dont get hurt

Britney - posted on 06/22/2010

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Oh girl!! Its so scary, but totally normal, the fact that you are worried means you will be a great mom! I used to have dreams that I left my baby different places, and I didnt realize it til I was so far away, and then I would have all these annoying tasks to complete before I could finally get to her. It was horrible, I was so scared I would accidently forget I had a baby, and leave her in the car or at the store, of course thats never happened tho, so dont worry! You will be extra cautious when you have her in your arms..It will come natural mommy :)

Christina - posted on 06/22/2010

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You got the first time mother worries. I had them too, for my first and my second child. It'll all go away. You will question things alot but it'll all come natural to you when your little ones here in your arms. If it makes you feel better when I had my second baby I cried when it was time to take him home cause he was so small. It was just my worries as a mother but now he's 6 months old and I'm better. I will tell you will alway have worries about your kids but for now just try to relax and enjoy being preg. Theres nothing better than these moments now, and you will miss it even tho it doesn't seem like it.
otherwise try and keep yourself busy getting ready and doing the last min things you need to before there here.

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