Abby - posted on 04/26/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )
I am due at the end of June so I am getting very close and excited to meet my newborn son. The father of our unborn son are no longer together. I ended the relationship with him when I was three months pregnant because he didn't have a college degree, he kept telling me he was going to get a job which he never did and still hasn't done, and he lied to me on mulitple occasions. I was sacrificing my own happiness at the time to be with him so we could have a family for our soon but I realized being sad with him wasn't healthy for me or the growing baby inside of me.
A couple months after I ended the relationship, he moved out of his house and began living with his mom who is wealthy and has taken care of him his whole life. He claims that he moved in with her to save money for the baby when he is born but still hasn't made an effort to get a job. I don't know how that works?? Anyways, the mother has not contacted me my whole pregnancy because I believe she is bitter that I broke up with her son. At 20 weeks, I got the ultrasound when I found out I was going to be having a boy! A couple weeks after that I got a nice card about grandmothers and put a picture of the ultrasound to give to the father's mother. Since he is living with her, I want her to be part of our son's life. She texted me and told me thank you and that was a very sweet gesture. I contacted her two more times after that. Once about my baby shower and another time about a doctors appointment. I will be 32 weeks on Sunday and haven't heard from her once.
The father on the other hand does not see me. He texts me everyday to see how I'm doing and feeling. He has not asked to go to any of my doctor appointments with me. He hasn't asked who my doctor was or anything about the pediatrician. He didn't even know what hospital I was delivering at until he asked me a few weeks ago. He asks like he is going to be a great father because he is buying diapers, painting a room for the baby at his MOM's house, etc. It really upsets me that he acts this way because he doesn't put in effort to help me or be there for me emotionally or physically. Even though we broke up, we are still "friends" and I still want him to be part of our son's life because I want my son knowing his father but I'm so upset about everything.
I would really like some advice. He said he doesn't care what I name him as long as I give the baby his last name, but should I do that???!!! I feel like I should give the baby my last name and if the father proves to be there and helps provide and support, I will later on change his last name.
I also need advice on this. Even though his mom hasn't contacted me until I contacted her, I feel like once the baby is born she and the father will want to see the baby all of the time and it makes me feel very uncomfortable and bitter because she hasn't made an effort at all to see how I'm doing, meet up and talk or anything. It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know whether or not to have them take me to court for visitation rights or to just suck it up and act like nothing happened and take our son to his mother's mom to let them see the baby?? I'm just very confused and would love anyone's advice. Thank you so much! I appreciate any advice I can get.