need help so bad

Monet - posted on 10/29/2009 ( 175 moms have responded )

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i am 27 and i have a 2month old and i am starting to think i am not very good at this mommy thing, i get upset and cry when i dont know whats wrong. how do i get better at this? i mean i thought i would have getting the hang of it by now. is there something wrong with me?



i olny cry when i havent had a lot of sleep anad she really only crys at night and i know this sound bad but i sometimes walk away and let her cry so i can get my head on right and give her what she need.



i do pick her up at night when she cry but she dosent really cry doring the day caz were playing, sing, and having a good time.

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Kimberly - posted on 10/30/2009

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Dont worry this is completely normal....its okay!, and walking away to get your head on straight is a good way to gain control and composure of the situation, then you can calmly take care of the situation. Also let your doctor know whats going on PPD is so common, I have it. This is a new routine for you, a new well everything.....it will take time to adjust to then with a blink it will change again...lol.....my son is 15mo now really thats when it starts to change when they start crawling and walking, become more independent. My son takes a nap everyday between 10-1030....he'll lay quiet for awhile then I'll hear him start fussing cause he wants to get out, but I wait and eventually he falls asleep. CONSISTENT ROUTINE IS EVERYTHING......my best advise it to listen to everyones advise and choose your own path to conquer your days.

Lucy - posted on 10/30/2009

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I would like to give you a HUGE hug! This is exactly how i felt when i had my baby boy and it took about 6 months before i was even having a good time in the day! It is the toughest job in the world but it does get easier and you'll get to know each other and settle into your own routine soon enough. I wish you all the best. Know that you are doing a fantastic job looking after your baby and all the care you put in now will be rewarded. The first few months are tough but your baby will grow so fast and it won't be long until it will give you so much love back. Stay strong, accept any help from friends and family, try to get some time for yourself (even having a nice bath or something) and feel proud of yourself. lots of love xxx

Melissa - posted on 10/29/2009

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Walking away when you have had too much is not wrong, its the right thing to do. If you need a second or even a couple of minutes to take a deep breath, then that is what your baby needs also, because your baby needs a mommy who can relax and take a step back from the situation, not someone who acts on impulse. Everyone has a hard time at some point in the beginning, who wouldn't with such little sleep? Just try to remember that if she cries its really not the end of the world, and try to listen to that instinct reflex, sometimes its buried really deep down under the layers of stress and sleeplessness.

D'Etta - posted on 10/29/2009

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hahaha Girl, with my first kid... there where times I wanted to throw him out the window! Lol I finally had to make a list of reason why a baby would cry, hang it by the crib and literally go through each option (is he hungry? no. is he cold? no etc...) If nothing was wrong (and the answer wasn't simply to hold him and/or walk with him) I just left the room. Is he was still crying 3-5 minutes later I'd come back and try again. Sometimes babies just like to cry. That, in itself, can be soothing. You also have to get creative if it happens often. I finally figured out that my first son loved it when I cranked the hip-hop music and danced around with him. Sometimes this was the only way he'd fall asleep! With my second, I would have to walk up and down the hallway holding him until he fell asleep. You can also try letting the vacuum run, some babies like the sound of that... keep the tv on... take them into the bathroom and listen to the shower run... let her fall asleep in her swing... anything you can think of that will soothe her, or distract her. And remember, the more frustrated you get... the worse she'll get, because she can feel your tension. Sleep when she sleeps! :)

Nicole - posted on 10/29/2009

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Honey dont worry aboyt a thing it has tooken me nine years tons of parenting classes and trial and error in learning how to be a mother. I never wanted children and dont have the natural mothering intinct to be one I am very literal and have very high expectations. I suggest you join a parentng class now and you will have great success, check with your local wic office or dshs office they should help you out. good luck thank you for reaching out. And defin check about post partum deperession i had it for the first month remember your hormones are going whacko still from the change of being pregnant.

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Samantha - posted on 11/05/2009

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Everything you are going through is totally normal! And it is VERY good that you walk away to think about things rather than try to handle the baby when you are having that frustration. I can't say much cause our baby slept very good after about a month. But I breastfed for the first month and I would get so angry I would just wanna squeeze him! That's when I would have the hubby hold him for a while. Just be pt, the baby is only 2 months old, you have a long ways to go to get better, it will be okay!

Alice - posted on 11/05/2009

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I didn't get the "hang" of it with my first daughter till she was probably one and with my second daughter it was like the first time again. You just have to take a deep breath and calm yourself down before you can go and try to figure out what the baby needs. I use to hate it when people would tell me "oh babies can tell when you are stressed." Ughhh it drove me crazy but it's true. So at nite when she does cry and you need a minute that's fine actually it's probably better so you and the baby can calm down. Hope this helps

Shelsea - posted on 11/04/2009

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its okay. it took me a while before i figured out my sons cries. and walking away for a minute is okay too!! crying isnt going to hurt your baby (its actually good for them, it helps develop their lungs) every mom has their moments where they feel like they cant handle anymore so walking away for a minute is a great idea so you can clear your head and focus.it gets easier and lots more fun,i promise! good luck sweetie!!

Lydia - posted on 11/04/2009

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Dont worry this mommy thing isnt supposed to be easy! you are not alone I have a 1mo old and belive me I feel that way some times..... Have you talked to you MD about Postpartum Dep? if you are very tired and sleepy, you should be getting your sleep catch up when you're baby is asleep in the day time! That's what I do...dont worrry about the mess or the house falling apart! its important to keep you rested so you can use your energy on the bby! dont worry It will pass!!!

Ashlee - posted on 11/04/2009

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Dont think that something is wrong with you. You're new to this mommy thing as she's new to this whole baby thing lol. You both need to learn eachother, that's all. Maybe during the night when she's crying, she's so happy being with her mom that she wants your attention when she needs to be sleeping. The most important thing is BE PATIENT, don't feel yourself getting everwhelmed, and if you do, do what you are already doing and just walk away for a few minutes and come back. Maybe have her father come in and help out while you "get your head back on". Just be patient because the first few months are rough I'm not going to lie, I have 2 kids myself lol. It will get better. And what you're already doing, you're doing a great job. So keep that up ;)

Kim - posted on 11/04/2009

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i think letting your baby cry for you to calm down and get your head on straight is the best idea because when you are upset your baby senses it and gets upset and also then you are less likely to shake or hurt your baby (for example not saying you would) i used to have to do that with my son when he was little he was colicky and it would be very upsetting so i would put him down and take a few deep breaths so i could calm down good luck everything will be okay and in know way does this make you no good at being a mother it sounds like you are doing great

Kayla - posted on 11/04/2009

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Everyone has those rough moments and you need to remember that you are not alone! When my daughter was that little and would cry a lot at night I would do this and it helped a lot. I would swaddle her right before bed and put her down that way. There is nothing wrong with doing this and it is relaxing for the baby because you have to remember before coming out into this big old world the baby only knew the small comfort space in your womb. My daughter slept well this way for me and began sleeping through the night (about 6-8 hrs). It really helped me catch up on my sleep. Also, if she did wake up at night I would nurse her (or if you are bottle feeding) while she was still swaddled so that she stayed warm and would go right back to sleep. Hope this helps and don't worry, not everyone is great at first but it does get easier

Jamey - posted on 11/04/2009

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No trust me nothing is wrong. I have a 2 month old and a 3 1/2 year old and it is tough. Even the nurses at the hospital told me sometime you have to let them cry out there feelings because the only have so many ways to express how the feel. The whole sleeping thing can play a part in it as well. So sleep as much as you can when your baby is asleep or even ask a close friend or neighbor to watch your child when your in times of needed sleep just to take a hour long nap. And even as hard as it gets sometimes just remember to take a deep breath for a few minutes and picture your child smiling or the cute faces they make. That always helped me. Just hang in there She'll start sleeping through the night soon.

Cony - posted on 11/04/2009

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Your baby is two months old! There are several things going on still: you just had a baby, your body and mind have gone through extreme changes, if u are nursing you are experimenting with something painful, you are sleep depraved, you have never done this before and you are trying your best. There is no manual on how to be a mom, just follow your instincts and try to do your best. It's very frustrationg to see your baby crying when you have explored all the obvious possibilities and still don't know what is wrong. When I had my son last year my mom told me "remember, they can't speak so crying is their only way of communicating". They tell you to walk away for a few minutes when you can't handle them crying, it's the best thing to do. Having a support system also helps a lot in those moments (spouse, significant other, relative, etc.) I know I couldn't have done it alone. The best of luck to you and cherrish every moment you play and laugh with your baby because they grow up fast! :)

Tammie - posted on 11/04/2009

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It will be allright you will make it just fine. I had the same problem untill my child was about 4 months old and started to sleep all night and it got eaiser

Nicole - posted on 11/04/2009

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First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. I was 25 when I had my son and I cried a lot!!! I felt I was never doing anything right. Walking away from you crying baby at night is good. You will know when she is crying because she needs to be fed or wet. Babies that age cry to relieve excess energy. It's the only outlet they have. They can't really move or express themselves. There were times I had to just let my son "fuss it out" and it got better. I got more confident in what I was doing. What also helped is I told my husband that I needed my "me" time. I would go get a pedi/mani or just go to the store. The important thing is that I would go ALONE. This will help too. You are doing a great job! Just remember that everyone goes though this. A year from now, you are going to look back at this time and wonder why you were doubting yourself and you ability to be a mother. :)

Jade - posted on 11/04/2009

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Hi Monet... we all have moments where we feel like we aren't good at being a mother, or that maybe we shouldn't have become a mother, or we start comparing ourselves to other mothers that we may percieve as being better or doing better as a mother... Everyone is different though, and as many of the other mums on here have said, feeling emotional, out of control at times, exhausted, confused, and many other things is common when we make the change to parenthood. It is also correct that if this seems to be often, and making it difficult to cope with daily life, to seek help in the form of support, advice and maybe even therapy and respite. Reaching out is the first step, and you have already taken it- you should be proud of your courage, as some, feel so inadequate as a mother they are too embarrassed or ashamed to even ask.

My daughter was diagnosed with colic at 11 weeks of age, which ironically is close to when it starts to subside, but I felt that she was crying more than what was usual, and after seeking help from a few different places, got the diagnosis.

I am now learning that other things could have been responsible, such as my health pre-conception, my very unhealthy pregnancy and her difficult birth.

The best advice I can give you is:

1. Seek the answers, advice, information and support from everywhere and anywhere! Knowledge is power, and by seeking you will also build a massive network of emotional and practical support for facing all the ups and downs of motherhood... Unfortunately the answers do not come sraight away and we have to keep searching until we find a happy medium.

2. Be your own best friend. How can you be a good mother, if you are unhappy as a person? Just because you are mummy now doesnt mean you stop being you. Try as best as you can, to make it a priority to keep your physical and emotional health up to par and participate in activities that make you feel satisfied and happy!- this will help your overall health, wellbeing and how you deal with the challenges of parenthood, of which there are many. You will both be fine! (hugs)

Vanessa - posted on 11/04/2009

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There is nothing wrong with you and you shouldnt think there is, when my little girl was born i cried all the time i thought maybe i have postnatal depression, but i didnt, having a baby is a big thing and change your life so much, my daughter is 8 months and sometimes i still cry and think that im not good enough to be her mum, but that all changes when we have play time and i see her smile and laugh, which then makes me think, if she is this happy then i must be doing something right. Hope this helps abit good luck and big hugs your way.x

Leslie-Ann - posted on 11/04/2009

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Two months may seem like forever but its hardly ANY time at all! My son is 9 and I still learn new things all the time. The getting upset and crying thing is normal. Also, the fact that you walk away when you're upset proves that you are doing a good job. You aren't yelling at her, or shaking her or telling her to shut up. I think you're being too hard on yourself and that all the feelings you are having are 110% NORMAL!!

Chantelle - posted on 11/04/2009

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dont stress about it the same thing always happens to me you just get so tired, it is normal specialy for a new mum, i used to think i was a bad mum but my daughter is always clean and feed so theres nothingf more you can do and it doesnt hurt them to cry as i have learnt.

Megan - posted on 11/04/2009

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you could be going though postpartum depression. but you need to feel your baby right before you put her to bed. and you can't always go running to her everytime she crys. if she is changed, feed and comfortable in her bed and she's still crying, just walk away she'll fall asleep.

Michelle - posted on 11/04/2009

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Nothing wrong with you at all!!! What you did is exactly right. If the baby is crying and you can't take it, the best thing to do is leave the baby in a safe place like a crib or pack and play, or even a car seat.



The baby will be okay to cry for a few minutes. It is how they communicate and let you know they need something.



Leave the room for a few minutes till you can calm down and try to figure out what the baby needs.



When people are tired and frustrated they may act in a way that is unsafe for an infant, such as shaking it, tossing it about with out properly supporting the head and neck



Start with the diaper, then feeding, then check for signs of gas (gurgling belly, lack of bowel movements, grunting) once fed, changed, and burped settle baby down for bed if it's night time.



If your baby likes to be held a lot, look for instructions on properly swaddling the baby. Keep in mind the baby's temperature, that it does not get too hot. And that the swaddle is not to tight. Baby's find it comforting.



Good luck!



I also had my son at 27. He woke up every 2 hours for 11 months. Then I got the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." It saved my life!!!



I am a Nurse and have been around infants for ever and my sister is a Nanny with a Bachelors degree and I still cried when I could not figure it out. It is only because we want the best for our child.



You are doing great!!!

Valerie - posted on 11/04/2009

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There is nothing wrong with you... I wouldnt go to the doctor about the crying part UNLESS its bad, like you cry everyday all day... Most mothers go through it, its natural. When you feel like you cant stop the baby from crying, try everything you can that will make it happy! Whe3n my son cried at night, I put him in the bed with me, real close to my body an fed him! Believe me it will get better!

Marlewize - posted on 11/04/2009

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no baby is the same, my son was very sick untill 4 months, my husband was away all the time so i hade to do every thing myself, i can remember, not knowing what to do and start crying, it just made things worse, your baby can feel if something is wrong, put your baby in bed with you, with a pillow between if you are scared to roll over, my son is almost 1 now and stil sleeps next to me, its the only way he sleeps threw the night, sometimes they just need to feel you

Daphney - posted on 11/04/2009

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Sweety its ok. Trust me thats how I felt with Nae. Sometimes it is best that they cry a lil while you center yourself. When you are calm they can sense it and should usually help calm t hem. try just checking that she isn't hungry wet and gassy and then lay hr down. Talk to her and touch her every now and again instead of always picking her up.

Brielle - posted on 11/04/2009

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You are not a bad mom and you are not crazy! Being a mommy is really really hard! Do not feel bad about walking away and letting her cry for a few minutes. It is so much better that you deal with her in a calm way with your "head on straight" then over emotional and freaked out. I would def talk to your doctor just to make sure that your hormone levels are OK. Do not feel embarrassed about this!!!! It is so normal for your body to be kinda "out of whack" for up to the first year. If your hormone levels are off then you and your doc can go from there and decide what to do. The first few months are the hardest cause your body is physically and mentally still recovering and you are not getting anywhere near the sleep you need. Trust me it gets better!! Talk to your doctor and try also to get plugged in with other mom's in your area. Look for mommy and me play groups and if you can't find one think about starting one. Good luck and hang in there momma!!

Monica - posted on 11/04/2009

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It's alright, everyone goes through this! I did when my son was that age...I only got about 4 hours of sleep during the night, if I was lucky! I did have my husband take him at night when I got tooo frustrated with him. The first 3 months were the worst!! I learned from my parents to put him buckled up in his carseat, turned the dryer on, and put him on top of it. Lol, I know it might sound crazy but it calmed him down and soothed him. Or try singing or have a cd with calming music and play it at night.

Nicole - posted on 11/03/2009

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I was there! I have a 9 month old and I remember just crying and crying. If she isn't sleeping at night try waking her during the day, make sure to wake her every 2-3 hours to eat. She may have her nights and days mixed up. Keep her up as much as possible during the day with 3 naps that don't go past her feeding times. You are not alone. I still get upset sometimes when she is fussy and I can't figure it out.

Tabatha - posted on 11/03/2009

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Monet, coming from a 1st time mom, I can tell you you are not crazy! It is hard to get use to the mom thing, and especially when you are tired! You are going to be more emtional and feel like you don't have a clue about what you're doing, but that's ok. You have to take every day one step at a time. Don't feel bad you let your baby cry. It is good that they cry! and there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a few mins to yourself. If your baby is safe in her crib then it is alright to let her cry and go in the other room and close the door so you can have a short break. Just remember to breath and tomorrow is another day. Don't expect to get it all at once and just when you think you have it she'll start something new and you'll be right back at the bottom. My little guy turns 2 on Thursday and there are days I feel I could pull my hair out! It's totally normal. You will have your ups and downs and crying is ok too!

Tabatha - posted on 11/03/2009

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Monet, coming from a 1st time mom, I can tell you you are not crazy! It is hard to get use to the mom thing, and especially when you are tired! You are going to be more emtional and feel like you don't have a clue about what you're doing, but that's ok. You have to take every day one step at a time. Don't feel bad you let your baby cry. It is good that they cry! and there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a few mins to yourself. If your baby is safe in her crib then it is alright to let her cry and go in the other room and close the door so you can have a short break. Just remember to breath and tomorrow is another day. Don't expect to get it all at once and just when you think you have it she'll start something new and you'll be right back at the bottom. My little guy turns 2 on Thursday and there are days I feel I could pull my hair out! It's totally normal. You will have your ups and downs and crying is ok too!

Becky - posted on 11/03/2009

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you are doing the right thing by walking away! I have been there expecially with my last child in which i haven't had much help with. try to be calm the baby picks up on your stress. i can tell you that Johnsons sleepy time bath before bedtime with sleepy time lotion helped alot and made my son son sleep all night every since i've started using it( he's almost 2 and i still use it not to mention it helps mom relax as well) Hang in there it will get better.

Jessica - posted on 11/03/2009

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Oh gosh! It is not a bad thing at all I did the same thing. All the way to putting her down in the crib and letting her cry for a few so I could regroup and most of the time by then when I would get her in my arms and go through the check list. Diaper, food,if she has not been sleeping we know that sleep was an issue but then she needed the love. So I would rock her holding her tight and making the noise that the hospital taught us that sounds like the mothers heart beat. When your upset, exhausted, and stressed and she can sense this and it will make her worse. Have the doctors checked her for colic? And what about her food does she seem to get satisfied with what she is getting. Those two things was our problems.

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no you are doing everything it gets better its normal as moms we go through this see if you can start a mom group in your community and go for meets with them in the mallk or at the coffee shop that helped me alot

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2009

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Being a mama is the hardest job we will ever have and sometimes you DO have to just walk away and collect yourself in order to meet her needs. We all have moments where we cry ( or if someone wants to contradict me on that point I will contend there is something wrong with you!) and I definitely have moments where I wonder if I'm doing everything correctly but you have to have faith that as long as you love your child and KEEP TRYING that you are a good mother. 2 months might seem like a long time and that you should have it figured out by now but your child will keep surprising and testing you for the rest of your life- you will never have all the answers but I promise that it does get better and soon you will see that you don't have to have all the answers to be an excellent parent!

Katrina - posted on 11/03/2009

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I recommend SLEEP!!! It will help get your stress levels back down, try taking a nap when she naps and deep breathing when you are frustrated.

Rachel - posted on 11/03/2009

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I am going through the same thing!!! I am also 27 and have a 2 month old son. I thought it was colic but I found out he gets bouts with gas and i started using gripe water (u can get it at walgreens. its amazing) u arent a bad mom. sometimes they get bored too....but my recommendation is to listen to what type of cries they are. does she appear to be in pain? kicking her legs? balling her fists?? if you just need a few mins of silence baths work really well for my son. i use the bedtime bath and i swear by it!!! i went through the crying too...i cry at least once a week. and walking away is the best thing to do when you when you fell like you are going to lose it. its better than taking it out on the baby. i hope this helped.

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2009

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There is nothing wrong with you. When I had my second child I felt the same. I did exactly what you did and I was supposed to be fine considering it was my second child. I would look into postpartum. Even if it isn't pospartum there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Sometimes you do have to put the baby in the crib and let them cry to you calm down. It is suggested you do that, because if you don't you could make a mistake you could regret for the rest of your life. your doing great. Lean on the baby's daddy if he is available to do so.

Ashley - posted on 11/03/2009

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you are perfectly normal ... walking away for a minute is sometimes all you can do... when my son was that young i sometime would walk out to the back yard and scream!!! it is actually good for babies to cry so don't feel bad if you have to walk away for a bit. keep your head up and don't be to hard on yourself.. none of us mom's are perfect!!

Kayleigh - posted on 11/03/2009

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your tried and some times the best thing to do is walk away and leave your child 4 a bit crying wont harm your child. get family to hep out if you can x

Billie - posted on 11/03/2009

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honey there are times you just have to let them cry. my two month old does that when we dont pick him up right away or we walk out of the room

Jillian - posted on 11/03/2009

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try playing music in her room and remember that there is nothing wrong with letting her cry herself back to sleep

Zoe - posted on 11/03/2009

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your still a new mummy and its very hard at first. dont worry your not a bad mother at all. the only thing i can advise on is to get your child into a routine which is hard work in its self but really does help you both out. try asking your midwife about baby massage. its a good thing it helps the bond grow between you and your new born and also helps you both relax. when i was taught this it helped the routine more. hope this helps hun.

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2009

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your not wrong for walking out and getting your head on straight before going to your crying baby! Crying is healthy for kids and you shouldn't go grab them the minute they cry you need to let them work their lungs anyways! Plus you will be able to deal with your child better if you have your head on straight and not getting upset or angry at the fact she is crying.....I always just took some deep breaths and then tried to deal with my child after I got my head on! There is nothing wrong with that and it does NOT make you a bad mother for making yourself healthy at the same time instead of being stressed out! Talk to the Dr. about post partum....I never had it but there are people that get it and it is nothing to be ashamed of! Get help! Things will turn around it sounds like you are a good mom

Kari - posted on 11/03/2009

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it sounds like you are having some emotion overload problems. hang in there, and maybe ask a doctor what they think can help you. and as for the baby... putting her down and getting your head together is the best thing you can do. crying is okay at her age just don't let it go for more then 10-15 min. is what i would suggest. Your a great mom i am sure, just don't be so hard on yourself. it is not easy and there is no rule book.. you have to figure it out as you go. at night have you tried feeding her and then putting her on her stomach and singing to her and rubbing her back.. or putting music on. it helped with my son... he wouldn't sleep on his back. i know that doctors tell you to put them on the back, but when wyatt (my son) was able to hold his head up at 2 months i put him on his stomach because it allowed him to sleep all night. YOU have to take care of yourself too, because she can't be okay with out you being okay first... If you ever can figure out what is wrong with her, run down the list... bottle, diaper change, eyesight and baby bonding time, or play time (if it is not night time...). and that is all i got for you.. hope that helps... kari

Stephanie - posted on 11/03/2009

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you are obviously great at this mommy thing because you are taking the time to get some help or advice, if you werent, you wouldnt care to do that. there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. and you are very smart for occasionally walking away. it is so much better to calm your self than to do or say things you might later regret or hurt your baby. my daughter used to cry a lot also, and mostly when she was trying to sleep. we started using mylacon (gas medicine) and it seemed to help. but not always. come to find out she was lactose intolerant. ask your pediatrician about switching formulas, or some of the things you eat if you breast feed. maybe you can get a friend or family member to stay with you once a week or so, this would give you a chance to rest and help you be more calm when your trying to soothe her. its hard to ask for help, but sometimes it's the best thing to do. i used to get sad when someone tried to help and it would make me feel like i couldnt do the job. but really, it is okay and sometimes vital. good luck and just keep loving her the best you can and you will both be fine.

Tanya - posted on 11/03/2009

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dont be affaid to ask for help hun if its getting too much through lack of sleep as a friend or family member to your child even for an hour so u can have a quick sleep shower and a cuppa. i have a 3 month old son and i still feel like a crappy mummy but we have to just try our best. there is nothing wrong with you all mothers go through the same thing. walking away from your little girl while you get your head straight is ok babies dont die from crying if you no she is fed and changed then dont worry i let my son cry for a little while if he is tired because it tireshim out more making it easyer for him to get off to sleep. my son does the opposite to your little girl he loves to play at night but crys though the day. i hope this helps you feel better

Amber - posted on 11/02/2009

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I felt the same way but with my 2nd baby! He was and is much more difficult than my oldest. Turned out I actually had post partum depression. Once I was treated for that it helped a lot. Lack of sleep ontop of crying and all else that comes with being a mommy is rough.

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A calm and collected mommy is the best possibly thing for her. Never feel bad about leaving her in a safe place while you calm yourself. Just breathe and try to respond as lovingly as possibly. She's only 2 months old and doesn't know that she's disrupting your sleep. Sleep when she does, if you can get a sitter of someone to watch her while you get a good nights rest. It all gets so much easier when the sleepless fog lifts.

THENIA - posted on 11/02/2009

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sweetheart you are gonna be fine and only talking about it makes you a great mom.we 've all been through that.getting away for a while is smart.when you feel exhausted just take a moment and calm.because the more you get upset the more nervous your baby becomes.it;s a way to communicate.

Adrianne - posted on 11/02/2009

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I was like that with my first child. It's only been 2 months. You are still getting use to each other. I am curious to see if you take naps with her during the day and sing to her at night like you do during the day. Start a routine for night. Change her, feed her, take moment then start over. Let it flow. It will get better. There is nothing wrong with you. Babies cry that's their language for the beginning and you will begin to learn their cues and cries. this may mean some studying and some close listening on your end, but you can do it.

Christy - posted on 11/02/2009

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You are perfectly normal! Did you know that it could take your hormones up to two years to go back to normal after giving birth? As for not getting the mommy thing, no mommy ever gets it right strait out of the gate. I can't tell you how many times I thought I was going to have a breakdown. Walking away to get your head strait is a sign of a good parent! You are not shaking your baby and babies cry! It's all natural. You are going to be great at being a mom. I don't think there is a mom alive that wonders wheather or not she's doing a good job. Hang in there hun it gets better.

Ashley - posted on 11/02/2009

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Ok so there is NOTHING wrong with you. She is only 2 months old, so it is okay for you to not have a handle on things. I have 3 kids, two of them are 2 and the youngest is one, I still don't have a handle on things. If she is crying and there is nothing wrong with her (she has been fed, diaper is clean, and she is not hurt) then it is okay put her in her seat or a playpen and step outside. The crying thing is definetly hormones!!! You have not had time to get your hormones back in whack. If it continues for a lot longer perioud of time or it gets worse you might need to see your doctor. That is what I had to do and their is NO shame in it. You are a good mom, if you weren't then you wouldn't of posted this question, take it easy and don't be so hard on your self. These babies don't come with manuels and we will all make mistakes, you will be fine... if you ever need to talk hit me up...

Bridget - posted on 11/02/2009

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I think that what you are feeling is completely normal. I went through the same thing for the first few months of my daughter's life. Walking away is sometimes the only thing you can do. The fact that you do that is a great sign. I also realized that I had some depression issues, so you might wanna have that checked. (Not saying that you do, just suggesting). I don't see anything wrong with letting them cry for a bit, as they need to learn to self soothe (something else I learned in retrospect). Just hang in there, it will get better!

Charlie - posted on 11/02/2009

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AWWWW *hugs*



There is nothing wrong with you Monet , motherhood is daunting at first but it will get easier and sleep will get longer for you and bub and remember your hormones are raging and making you feel emotional , make sure you have a good support system EG: family , partner if it is possible pump breast milk if you are breastfeeding or if you are not breastfeeding get your partner to let you sleep in once a week while he feeds your daughter or at least get him to take her while you have a nice long hot bath you will feel a lot better .

Monique - posted on 11/02/2009

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There is definately nothing wrong with you. Dont feel like you are a bad mom, you are doing the best you can.. Not everyone gets it right the first time round.. Dont be hard on yourself, it will all come with time..

Have you tried giving her warm oil massages just b4 bedtime? this can help soothe them, and on a full tummy they will sleep through and this will help you to get some rest in too.. But by all means, dont feel bad... You will get there... Have faith in wat you are doing and everything will be fine..

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