need help so bad

Kathryn - posted on 10/29/2009

there is nothing wrong with you, sometimes it takes a while to get used to being a mummy and having someone else rely on you. In my opinion though i think you should go to the doctors and see if you may have the baby blues. It is really common and easily fixed. It will get better hun, just hang in there. xx

Kasie - posted on 10/29/2009

You are doing fine! I have a 28 month old and an 8 month old. My first daughter was THE perfect baby, she slept through the night by 1 month, never fussed or cried. My second daughter was born, and I found myself doing the same thing you've been doing. She'd cry and cry for no reason, it got to a point for awhile, even when I was holding and comforting her, she was still unsatisfied. So, I'd put her down and let her scream and cry it out. After I left the room and collected my composure, I went back in and held her. At that point, she had cried so hard, that she was ready for me to hold and soothe her. I'm a stay at home mom, and my husband works hard for everything we have, so I'm the only one getting up at night.(To the women who have husbands that help, good for you!) I found myself getting upset,and bawling, and had no one to give me a break. Also, I agree run the vacuum or even a blender(on a low) setting with the baby in the run. I've found that my girls would fall alseep to those noises, sounds weird but it has worked for me before. Occassionally, my mother in law would step up and give me and afternoon to sleep, but everyone else in my family works or is in school, so I was mom...all the time. I hope it gets better for you, I really do because I've been there and it's the ugly part of being a mom. I pray it gets better...my daughter whom is 8 months old still gets up once or twice a night! Good luck from one super mommy to another!

Julieanna - posted on 10/29/2009

your child is only two months old. your still getting used to everything. Its a huge adjustment that comes easier to some than others. Definitely look into post-partum. ask your doctor. But remember that not getting enough sleep can really mess a person up. sleep when the baby sleeps. take a nap in the day. do what you can to rest and take it easy. crying when your frustrated and sleep deprived is normal. Its ok to walk away and take a couple of deep breaths.

Trisha - posted on 10/29/2009

I first of all would like to thank you for saying that you put your baby down and walk away when you are getting frusterated. Thats the first step to being able to calm your body down so you dont hurt your child. I wish more parents could think like you. I was young whn I had my first child(I still am young only 23) but I am a graduate from the Early Childhood Edcuation program and I had a class about child abuse and thier stories sounds like yours. You can Get through it, sometimes just takling to people help. and if your baby is keping you up at night try sleeping during the day when your baby naps that way you wont be as tired when your baby wakes up at night. Some one once told me to turn my baby around in the crib (or play pen or bassinet) and they will sleep, I tried it even though I didnt believe it and it worked, maybe you could try that! Good Luck and hang in there you will get through this!

Jenifer - posted on 10/29/2009

There isn't nething wrong with you and yes if your that upset sometimes its better to just walk away for a few mins to calm down!! But i would diffinatly talk to your docter about postpartum!!!

Rebecca - posted on 10/29/2009

It does take time to get used to it. But have you thought that you might be suffereing from post partum depression? you might want to ask you dr.

Heather - posted on 10/29/2009

I felt like that at first too, I felt I had my baby too young and was mad that I had managed to get pregnant right after getting married. it's all normal and you'll see it's ok. When youre really stressed sometimes it's best to just let the little one cry it out for a bit, they can sense when youre stressed and it will in turn stress them even more. If you feel nothing is helping talk with your doc. Asking friends or family to help you with the baby can help too, most would probably be more than willing! Hang in there, you're not a bad mom for having the baby blues!

Betty - posted on 10/29/2009

Maybe you need more sleep. Are you and your husband splitting the night evenly? You could seriously loose your mind if you don't get enough sleep and I would suggest allowing your husband to do every other night. You could also ask for help from other family members.

Heather - posted on 10/29/2009

Don't worry, it is normal to cry at the smallest thing, and also to cry when you don't know what to do. But you are doing all the right things, believe me. Sometimes you do just have to let them cry. I would recommend that you watch her when she crys to see what kind of cry it is. But sometimes they just cry and they'll have to cry themselves to sleep. A lot of mums rush in and try to calm them, but babies will tell you what they need it's also a mother's instinct, which I promise, WILL kick in. Hang in there, it does get better

D'Etta - posted on 10/29/2009

hahaha Girl, with my first kid... there where times I wanted to throw him out the window! Lol I finally had to make a list of reason why a baby would cry, hang it by the crib and literally go through each option (is he hungry? no. is he cold? no etc...) If nothing was wrong (and the answer wasn't simply to hold him and/or walk with him) I just left the room. Is he was still crying 3-5 minutes later I'd come back and try again. Sometimes babies just like to cry. That, in itself, can be soothing. You also have to get creative if it happens often. I finally figured out that my first son loved it when I cranked the hip-hop music and danced around with him. Sometimes this was the only way he'd fall asleep! With my second, I would have to walk up and down the hallway holding him until he fell asleep. You can also try letting the vacuum run, some babies like the sound of that... keep the tv on... take them into the bathroom and listen to the shower run... let her fall asleep in her swing... anything you can think of that will soothe her, or distract her. And remember, the more frustrated you get... the worse she'll get, because she can feel your tension. Sleep when she sleeps! :)

Hannah - posted on 10/29/2009

You are a good mommy because you want to be. Dont beat yourself up about it. You are being a better mommy by taking a minute to breathe instead of picking her up in anger. It will make you resent her. Its ok to let her cry sometimes. You are doing fine you are exhausted and your body is still going through postpartum really hardcore. Have faith in yourself little mother. It gets easier when they start sleeping through the night.

Jenny - posted on 10/29/2009

I was in a very similar situation to you. I'm 22 and i have an 11 week old boy and I thought that i was really bad at being a mummy and i cried because i couldn't work out what was wrong with him and i'd get really frustrated. it does get better trust me, talk to your partner and parents about how you feel and don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't worry about walking away and letting her cry for a minute, it won't hurt her. Clear your head and go back when you know how to deal with whats wrong. keep trying, it will get better!

Ryann - posted on 10/29/2009

we all go through it u just have to remember its not going to last forever its temporary. Everytime my daughter would wake up from a nap i would cry sometimes i still do and shes 13 months lol. GOOD LUCK!! your doing a great job!

Melissa - posted on 10/29/2009

It sounds like you are a great mom already. It's okay to let your daughter cry to take a few seconds to compose yourself. If she is not hurt, there is nothing wrong with it. Being a new mom can be overwhelming. I used to cry everytime someone else held my son for the first 3 months. I would go to my room, bury my head and cry. All I wanted was him back in my arms. It eventually passed and I was happy when someone else wanted to hold him, so that I could get a break.If you're tired, maybe you could nap when she is napping. Then it might be easier for you at night time. I wish you the best of luck!

Stephanie - posted on 10/29/2009

I agree with the other moms on the walking away...With my first baby i was young and not quite "ready" to be a mom so there were times that I was just overly tired and stressed and I would put him in his crib...(so i knew he was safe) with no blankets or anything and walk out side so I couldn't hear his cries...The mom that suggested the not picking your child up if they are crying...I just simply don't agree...that is the Ferber way of doing things and I have two wonderful children 3.5yrs and 5.5months and they don't just cry to get their way. My son is awsome and is very rutine in sleeping and my daughter is almost there. Especially when they are that young (2mnts) they just need all the love you can give them...keep your head up and know you are a good mom and everything will happen the way it's supposed to!!

Cate - posted on 10/29/2009

Your still new to being a mum, it can take months to settle into a routine but once you do you will feel much happier.

Your totally doing the rite thing by walking away when ur feeling stressed, clear your head then go back to your baby, you wouldnt want to do anything stupid in a moment of madness, not saying you would, but im sure all mothers will agree your kids can push you to the limit.

Sleep depervation can be one of the worst things, my only advise is try napping in the day when baby is sleeping.

Theres no such thing as a perfect parent, we all get it wrong and theres lots to learn.

Good luck, you can do it

Tina - posted on 10/29/2009

It is very normal for this to happened I cried alot to. Try to keep your child up during the day if that is to hard you need to keep when thebaby is sleeping. You will be ok it happens to the best of us

Whit - posted on 10/29/2009

It's very tough to get the hang of things! I was fortunate to get an extremely great non-fussy baby. When your baby cries...I find it helpful that you yourself need to maintain a calm feeling within you. Believe it or not...when you feel calm..your baby does too! just hold your baby cries and screams....just keep your cool and gently rub your baby's back. they can sense that we are tense...there is such a major connection between mother and child...they feel what you feel sometimes. try and see if it works.....let me know:) Also.....it does not sound bad to walk away from the baby while crying. however, are you consistent? do you pick her up during the day when she cries? I was told never to do that....only pick your baby up when she's not crying. it gives them the ok to cry so they can be picked up if we give in!

Nicole - posted on 10/29/2009

Honey dont worry aboyt a thing it has tooken me nine years tons of parenting classes and trial and error in learning how to be a mother. I never wanted children and dont have the natural mothering intinct to be one I am very literal and have very high expectations. I suggest you join a parentng class now and you will have great success, check with your local wic office or dshs office they should help you out. good luck thank you for reaching out. And defin check about post partum deperession i had it for the first month remember your hormones are going whacko still from the change of being pregnant.

Michelle - posted on 10/29/2009

I'm 24 and have a 2 month old and experience the exact same thing!!!!! Lately I just try to remember that he really only has 3 basic needs (food, diapers, sleep) as long as I know those 3 things are taken care of I just try to comfort him and take a deep breath. Burping him helps sometimes and others he just wants me to walk around. Still sometimes there is not solution, he's just simply uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with you (or me, I've thought I was kind of a defective parent for a while lol), some babies are a little more difficult and demanding and as long as their basic needs are taken care of just love your baby and try to keep yourself calm since they do feed off that energy as well. Hope it gets better!!

Nicole - posted on 10/29/2009

Take a deep breath and relax. Being a parent doesn't come with an instruction manual or a job description. You can only do the best you can. If you feel like you could use some pointers ask people close to you for advice, get a book--what to expect the first year- or join a moms group where you can meet with people and talk. I think you should talk to your doctor about postpartum depression, but stay positive. Keep your head up. Its ok to cry,my son is 6 and I still cry when I don't know exactly what to do.. Its hard to know whats wrong when they can't tell us, so I sympathize with you. Just know you are a good mom or you wouldn't be reaching out for advice. Stay strong...

Joanna - posted on 10/29/2009

The first 2 to 3 months is the worst. I remember yelling at my son because I didn't know what to do. Also, being sleep deprived is hard also. Just keep doing what you are doing. I guarantee it will get better!! Just give it a little bit of time. Try not getting too upset. Try everything when the baby is crying. Feeding, changing, etc. But I promise IT WILL GET BETTER!! I think that every mom goes through this!

Susan - posted on 10/29/2009

there is nothing wrong with you. Patience is the key. You should talk to your doctor about the crying, because it may be post partum depression, and your doctor can help trust me. Does your baby cry alot?It will get easier

Amanda - posted on 10/29/2009

No there is nothign wrong with you at all. Not everyone gets the mommy thing right away. believe me, i have seen mothers who still were clueless when their kid was 6 months old. First off, if you feel like you cant control your emotions, have you talked to your doctor about postpartum depression? It is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone will go through it at some point. second thing is do you have people that can help you (like your mother or aunt) that can help you and give you advice? Sometimes that may prove to be more helpful than you think. Try not to blame yourself too much and realize that no one is perfect. Hope things start looking up *hugs*

Amanda - posted on 10/29/2009

No there is nothign wrong with you at all. Not everyone gets the mommy thing right away. believe me, i have seen mothers who still were clueless when their kid was 6 months old. First off, if you feel like you cant control your emotions, have you talked to your doctor about postpartum depression? It is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone will go through it at some point. second thing is do you have people that can help you (like your mother or aunt) that can help you and give you advice? Sometimes that may prove to be more helpful than you think. Try not to blame yourself too much and realize that no one is perfect. Hope things start looking up *hugs*