Need to vent!

Lauren - posted on 08/04/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )




So my husband and I have always had problems with my MIL, she is just a self absorbed emotional person. It drives us both nuts, but more so me because I come from a very analytical calculated family and I am not used to this crazy rollercoaster of drama and emotional outbursts.

Anyways today she came to see us and drive us around while one of our cars was getting an oil change/tune up (we have to get it done at the dealership and it is an hour away from our house). She came because our son had some GI tests and I also had an appt. My son is only 3 weeks old and he is our first and she is seriously overbearing, like makes us feel as if we are inadequate parents because she is constantly hoarding him and snatching him away when he gets upset. I know she is excited and everything because it is her first grandchild, but when she is around or when we go to their house I feel like just a milk jug to her and I never even get to hold my son when she is around or even be near him. I have let it go on since he was born, but I have been getting fed up and to avoid confrontation I have been less responsive to her so as to not snap at her. Soooo today I was trying to take more control of the situation without causing conflict, but of course she flipped out and got all emotional when I went into the dealership to check on our car and told my husband that she is not going to do daycare for us anymore because we supposedly don't appreciate her (we do all kinds of stuff for her like pick up items at the store and help with her cake decorating business etc). The issue is now we have no daycare and I go back to work Sept 7th!!! This is not the first time she has gotten severely dramatic and backed out on us at the last second, but seriously how are we supposed to get daycare in 4 weeks!! It is just selfish and dumb because we only need her for daycare for like two months and she isn't punishing us she is punishing our son for nothing just because things aren't going the way she wants! She was already a mom, it is our turn to be parents and I am sorry if she disagrees with that, but she needs to be a grandma and stop making it look like we are inadequate parents!!


Gemma - posted on 08/05/2010




Reading this brought memories of how akward my MIL was when our daughter(now 3) was tiny. we were forced to move in with mine though and we didnt agree on anything, we had a massive argument in the suermarket because at 14 weeks she wanted to start my daughter on solids, and i said she wasnt ready, she then preceeded to put baby food in the trolley (my husband wasnt there to witness the conversation as he had popped to the toilet) and when he came back he could tell i was really upset. i explained what had happened and he talked to his mum, and her response was "well if u didnt think she was ready you should have just said!" I was FUMING!
I think you need to sit her down (either you or hubby or together) and explain that you appreciate everything she does for you but that you feel like you need to find your own way. And explain that her having your son instead of him going to daycare is going to strengthen the relationship she hass with him, if he is in daycare it is HER who is missing out not you, try bluffing and explain that you have already found day care but would much rather he had qulity time with his grandmother and see what she says, it does need to be addressed sooner rather than later though, the longer it goes on the harder it will be for her to back away. Talk to her, explain how you feel. Good luck! xxx

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Jenna - posted on 08/04/2010




Unfortunately, this is where your husband needs to step in. MIL's can be delicate creatures (or fickle beasts).

Good luck. You may have to bite the bullet and find daycare.

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