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New Life, New Boyfriend, How to tell the child's father

Lindsey - posted on 06/14/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok so me and my child's father has been broken up for 6 months now, I started getting serious with an old friend who Ive known for 8 years. My boyfriend is the answer to all my prayers I have been praying that I wanted in my soulmate and he's been in my face all this time. Him and my daughter have been my motivation for going back to school and wanting more for not only me but for my child. He just graduated from college getting his bachelor's degree and I'll be starting school this month so we've been talking about when I graduate we're going to move to another state and get married. With me having a child that sees her father every other weekend how would I tell him that I'm moving his daughter to another state? I just want some info on what you guys would do if you were in my situation. I know that ultimately it would be my desicion on what I would do because I have to move on with my life and if moving to another city state or whatever is best then thats what I would do but I just need some of your opinions! I would really appreciate it!

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Lindsey - posted on 06/16/2012

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Thank you all so much for your thoughts I love them all!! I live in North Carolina so I would defintley have to look into the whole court system with moving Danna, but even thought me and the father dont always get along I would never just up and move without saying anything to him or explaining to him what was going on. As this being his only daughter I wouldnt dare just leave him out in the cold. Ashley, it will be a while before making any type of move, I'll be starting school in 2 weeks and the program lasts for 8 months and I'll still be here in North Carolina to start a new job in the medical field before I make that drastic step. I just wanted to see how I could go about telling him if me and my boyfriend did decide to move to another state. Thanks you guys!

Ashley - posted on 06/15/2012

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this sounds like a it will be a while befor this actualy happens some tips that may help him feel better about you moving is keep him involved in the whole moving prosess with topics like whats an acceptibel distance state wise ? what type of naighbourhood you will be moving to? and the school your daughter will attend? the travel time it will take for father & daughter to see each other? how to devide the exspence of that travel? who is traveling to whom and when? diferent methods of keeping them conected ie phone/vido calls ? you keeping and up todate photo album of her for him that you update and send to him on aregular bases? its all up to you but if you show active effort on your part to keep his daughter in his life even if you are moving farthure away at the very least the court should be happy with you! good luck and hope I was helpful.

Brittany - posted on 06/15/2012

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Yup I agree - Dad gets to have a say in the move, especially because he is an involved father. You may have to prove to the courts that it is in the best interest of your child.

Danna - posted on 06/14/2012

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first of all congrats on being so happy i have been in your shoes and it is nice to have someone there that makes you happy. now i do not know where you are from but in the state of alabama if the father is on the birth certificate you have to notify the father 6 months prior to moving, and it has to be done in a certified letter. and if he has any problems with you moving her that far away he can file a petition to stop you from moving. so my advise would be check into this before you do it or you could be charged with kidnapping i know crazy but i went through this i was going to move to Mississippi with my boyfriend and his parents stopped me on his behalf. so as far as telling him i would do it in a nice way do not just say this is what i am going to do try to say it as if you are asking his opinion on the situation involve him in the decision of it and reassure him that you are not taking her away from him and that he will still get to see her. good luck

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