No Sex Drive but Happy to please your spouse?

Holly - posted on 07/30/2010

It brought tears to my eyes when i was reading this, please i beg you to get out of this situation if not for yourself then do it for your babies.It is not good for you or them when you feel this way and i am sure they can sense you are sad.Plus you are putting youself in a situation where they could loose you because of the cutting and then all they would have is him. You do not deserve this you are the mother of his children and he should respect you not hurt you and put you down. I wish you the best of luck and happiness for the future!

Angel - posted on 07/28/2010

Oh my! My heart goes out to you. He is horrible for making you feel like that! Now wonder you dont want sex. No one wants it if it is like that! Now, NO ONE should ever be put into a situation where the other person is abusing them to the point of not eating and cutting. His abuse to you right now is overwhelming, but also realize that if he degrades you and puts you down he WILL do it to the kids. If he doesn't already. Honey, you need a new perspective. Its not is this normal? its THIS IS NOT NORMAL! and I will not put up with it anymore! There is NO way that staying with him is going to put more security for your family. I understand that your mom doesn't have enough room, but maybe see if she can deal with you and your 4 for a short period of time, and then find out about help programs, or even find out while you are still living there. Alot of people here are willing to help you, and I am included in that. If you need help just let me know, I will do everything in my power to get you and your kids (all of them) out of that abusive situation!

Natalie - posted on 07/28/2010

i agree with all the other mums on here my husband will never put that on me. you need to put you and your baby first

Nicole - posted on 07/24/2010

I agree with everyone else when they say you need to RUN fast away from this guy. Any man who love you would never direspect you in any way at all. There are many places to go. Places that will help both you and your children. I don't know where it is you live but start looking up places online or go to DES to get help. There is no reason at all that this would be acceptable in anyway and you need to pull yourself out of it before you get worse. Not eating will not help you have strength to deal with your children day to day and if your cutting and accidently go to deep or something then what happens to all your babies? Now really is the time for you to do something for you and get yourself out of there cause he will most likely only get worse.

Laura - posted on 07/23/2010

get out of there.. hes a jerk, and thats the only nice word i can use.. who cares if hes the "father" of ur kids..do ur family a favor and leave asap

Katherine - posted on 07/23/2010

I am so sorry. I agree with the other woman who posted about contacting the YWCA. If this has caused you to start cutting again you need help to stop. The way he is treating you is both emotionally and physically abusive. There are services out there to help you, the YWCA should be able to help get you connected with the right service providers. You DO NOT deserve to be treated this way. He is trying to control you and is using sex as a means to do so. I know it isn't as easy as just leaving, it could be dangerous, or you may not have a place to go. Again, the YWCA can help you figure out a safety plan and even perhaps temporary housing. You deserve to be treated like a human being. Like Jenna, I would be happy to help you in any way I can, feel free to message you and I will do whatever I can to help.

Theresa - posted on 07/23/2010

i'd dump him and bring my kids with me thats b.s you shouldnt have to be treated like that you do cuz you want to not cause you have to if hes just with you for the sex thats what it sounds like he should be with you cuz he loves you

Jenna - posted on 07/23/2010

If you look in your local phone book, there are normally free referral/counseling services you can take advantage of. Look for abuse hotlines or women's hotlines. Calling these may be able to get you in touch with an agency that can help you in your current situation.

One other great place to look for help for you and your family??? The YWCA - they offer many protection, relocation, and counseling services to women in your situation.

If you are interested in finding services such as these, private message me and I will help look in your area with you. I have a few different contacts that I can use to narrow down more specific numbers for you in your area.

Good luck and best wishes.

Ashleigh - posted on 07/23/2010

Sweetheart, I agree with everyone else too. My heart was breaking reading your message. That isn't right!!! It is abuse, sexual and emotional abuse! If I were you I would leave him, you should never feel like a whore with your partner. And when I help my hubby out it isn't several times a day it once or twice a week.

I was once with an ex fiance who I thought loved and cared about me but even though the sex was pretty good, I looked back and realized that he was very abusive in bed and I wouldn't have wanted to live like that for the rest of my life. You don't deserve it and you need to set a good example for your children, please get some help and try to find a different place to stay.

Felicity - posted on 07/23/2010

hun, he shoudln't be making you do this. you need to geet out of it, away from him, you should never let anyone hurt you like that, and he should never treat someone like that, especially someone that he is meant to love.
have you got some cloase friends or fmaily that may be able to help you, even if its just someone to listen and maybe try local gp or clinic for help.
ive never been in this kind of situation so i know its probably alot easier sitting here saying get out then it is to do so but you cant keep being hurt this way. no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect. you are definatly not 'just a weird one'.
if you ever need to chat just send me a message.

Christine - posted on 07/23/2010

Iv never been in dis situation personally but if you dont feel safe, are harmin yourself and not eatin your better of out of it!! Talk to a friend or close family member maybe they will take you in for a while til you get yourself sorted! You cant o on living like this!

I dont like to say this but if this is what he does to his partner the person he is suppose to love what will he do to other people or children in his care!!

There are many places that can help go yo your local clinic n speak to your GP.

All the best and take care huni

Ashley - posted on 07/23/2010

Oh my lord! Sweetheart this isnt right. I mean my man is a little pushy if he wants sex and I dont. He comes up to me and rubs is thing on my leg or says "come on baby I'll eat ya" but NEVER would he put me down for not doing it. I told him right off the start if he wanted a blow job he would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER push my head down on his dick. I would bite it off. Hes abusing you. Causeing you not to eat and making yourself cut again. I used to be a cutter as well and you know there are other ways to deal. I hate to say this and I know its hard but you need out. He needs some help and you need to NEVER do this again. You cant, its horrable. Please you cant let him do this to you. Hes basicly rapping you. Go get some help. Please, My heart is breaking for you. You need to get out.

Melly - posted on 07/23/2010

Sorry that you are going through this Myetta, and I dont blame you for feeling like a whore because that is exactly how he is treating you.

I havent experienced this, and if my partner tried forcing me to do anything you have described i'd be showing him the door.

It disgusts me that there are people in the world like him.