Myetta - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )
So I saw another post on here regarding sex drive and how many women have *lost* it after giving birth. I noticed a lot of women still say they do it for there man anyways.
So how many of you do it? how many times a day do you do that? How does it make you feel inside? And afterwards?
I know personally, I end up doing this anywhere from 3-5 times a day, pretty much everyday. I do it to make him happy because in the past he's says his needs aren't being met. If I say no, or don't do oral how he wants * he's big into this gagging where I basically throw up if I've eaten anything* he's snaps that I'm doing it half ass, and I need to stop acting like a brat. He's says things like that or during the act he talks down to me more than normal, so I end up feeling like a whore on the corner or a drug infested neighborhood. He'll often say oh you can have the day off * something like a pimp would say, go figure* but that night he'll be back at it again, and if say no, he says *oh you can't do this, I take care of all the bills and you can give me a little sex.
I don't find it pleasurable at all, haven't had an orgasm in months unless I do it myself behind closed doors.
After wards I feel so dirty, so used, and like I'm a failure because he's not happy with me. All this has led me back to not eating for fear of rough blow jobs and puking everywhere, it happened a couple of nights ago and he actually got on me because I did, so now I just don't eat, and I've started cutting again, help me not feel numb after wards.
Anyone else feel numb after wards or am I just the weird one?
*my mom has told me I could move back in but she doesn't have room for all 4 of use. Only my youngest two kids are his kids, so feel if I left and went bak home I'd be leaving the two little babies. I'm not working, i will be going back to work in September, I have a feeling things will change once I go back to work, this kind of happened the last time I stopped working after I had my 2 year old. But even when I am working there is no way I could afford my own rent and daycare and all that.*