okay for every proud mother..heres a question i need answered

Nanci - posted on 02/02/2010 ( 106 moms have responded )

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we were at burger king letting my sons run off sum energy and we called him down to eat..we ddint really care if he did come down cuz he gets hungry after he plays for a while neway..so it ddtn matter that he ddnt listen..rite?..okay so this biger kid took it upon himself t chase my baby down thru the tunnles..we told him its okay just leave him alone but he ended up cornering my son, Joe, and so joe got defensive ad took his toy out of his pocket and whacked him over the eye with it..then of cors the big boy came down screaming and then Joe shortly after that, lookin like he knew he did sumthn wrong...well i gave him a short time out but in side i was ginving him props...i was so proud of him..n thats the only time he fights- when he feels he needs to and hell b 4 in march...should i have been proud or gave him longer punishment..i told the mom over and over that we were so sorry but she wudnt hav any of it...i need to kno wut to do next time it happens cuz i kno it will...im not sorry for feelin the way i did but shud i have told him not hit anyone at all or tell him that was a good thing to defend or wut cuz if he does hit for any reason i kno hell get in trouble at school...

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Instead of teaching him it's ok to hit teach him to use his words. He was clearly getting frustrated with the child for chasing him. You could teach him how to ask the child to stop and how to communicate when he becomes frustrated.

Melissa - posted on 02/02/2010

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he is 3 years old, he shouldn't be hitting anyone. If you let on this okay behavior then he'll think its okay to hit. You said this big kid cornered him, that isn't a reason to hit someone. I think the parents (You and the other kids parent) should have gotten involved, before it got to that point. I agree that people should grow to defend themselves but at 3-4 years old is a little too young, thats what parents are for. If that were my son i would be over there to make sure this big kid wasn't bullying my son and if so i would have no problem saying something to that child.

Sarah - posted on 02/02/2010

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its hard because you wnat your children to drfend themselfs. i told my daughtor that is is not right unless that is her only option. i told her she should tell an adult first and try to talk ti out ( of coure not untill she was older. ) my daughtor has hit 2 ppl in school and well i don't belive she should be hitting i also don't want her to get beat up. some boy was hitting her she told the teacher 3 times and the teacher did nothing so she punched him in the stomach , he never hit her again and i told the princapal that i blam the teacher for not responding... its a fine line to walk

Cheri - posted on 02/05/2010

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So your child hit another bigger kid with a toy and you put him on time out. Good choice, that is what I would have done. However, I would have taken it a step further and told my child that it is not okay to hit people. After all, the bigger boy believed that you wanted him to come and eat. When I call my kids to the table, I expect them to come and eat. My sons would've have tried to get your son to do as you asked/told Joe to do. Would I have been upset if my kid got cracked in the head? Honestly, yes. Of course I would also have stopped my child after you said not to worry about it. But that is just me.

I too feel proud of my children when they defend themselves. But I don't applaud them when they hit a child that was no real threat to them. I don't so much believe that your little one was threatened, but I do believe he may have been irritated that this big kid was chasing him all over creation. It happens. Should the other mother have respected your choice in how you disciplined your child? Yes.

Maybe next time, if the situation is the same, and your child feels that it is necessary to hit first. I would have him apologize to the other child and then have him take a time out. Explain why we do not hit without prevocation. I am all for hitting back if you've been hit first. But only after using ones' words have failed. That's just my personal choice. For future reference, and I was told this in a parenting class, if you don't expect your child to do as you ask. Don't ask unless you want them to do it. It confuses the child and one day when you actually want the child to do as you say, they won't know that you mean it, because all of the other times you said to do something; they weren't expected to do it. Just a thought.

I hope this helps.

Stacey - posted on 02/05/2010

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right, firstly , your son should have came when you asked him too!! the older child onviously thought he was helping, i dont think it was right for your son to take out a toy and hit the child in the eye, if he felt threatened he could have called you, the boy didnt hit him right, i teach my children to lsiten to me come when called, and to hit only when they are hit first, not to be aggressive and hit with objects when they feel the need, i think i would be pretty angry if it was my child hit in the eye, x

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Shell - posted on 02/06/2010

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my daughter is 1 1/2 and i have started taking her to playgroups, a little boy yonger than her was tryin to snatch a toy off her so she pushed him so then he scratched her down her face. i was more annoyed with the other boy as he was the one snatching in the 1st place and my daughter was just trying to get him off so yes i do agree that id like my child to defend themselves and wouldnt tell her off for it but if she did it for no reason i would tell her off. its a hard situation really because they dont understand, i think all kids do it and its part of growing up. as they get older and actually understand the difference between defending themselves and purposely hittin for no reason then it will be easier to explain to them. if i was in your situation i wouldnt of told him off, the other lad shouldnt be cornering your son, its obviously made your son nervouse for him to hit him. and as for the other lads mother she sounds abit over the top and i would of said to her that he sons older and shouldnt be cornering other children anyway. i hate it wen other kids hurt my daughter so at the end of the day same with us adults if a child is going to hit they should be xpected to be hit back, the only thing is would you be prepared if your son hit for no reason for the other kid to hit him back? u got to look at it both ways. xx

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Nothing about the situatin was dealt with properly. The mother of the older boy should have told him that it wasn't his place to be telling another child what to do, but on the other hand, your son should not have hit him. He should have said no. If you are saying he felt "threatened" as many people are stating then there is a problem in the fact that you were in the room and he didn't feel safe enough to just call you. He should feel safe if you are in the room and you didn't step in to help him. The first thing that was wrong in this situation was you calling to your son when you didn't really expect him to come. If you didn't really want thim to come eat yet then don't call. If you wanted him to eat then call him and make him respond. It is wrong to corner another child and act as the adult, it is wrong to hit another child because you don't want him telling you what to do....but it is never ok to allow a child to disobey you. The whole situation was wrong from the start.

Mandy - posted on 02/06/2010

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just amazed still, and really if you notice the moms who "encourage" hitting are all bad spellers with a limited vocabulary and grammar problems. so not only are they teaching their children that violence is acceptable but also that speaking like an idiot is cool, bcuz MTV said so.

Brandis - posted on 02/06/2010

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(I know there are a lot of answers already so you probably won't read this, but...) you did just the right thing. You should never praise your child for hitting, but you shouldn't have punished him more either because he was just defending himself and you don't want him to feel like that is going to bring mom's wrath.



And if I would have been you, I would NOT have appologized to a mom like that. I would have brought the wrath down on her (verbally of course) because the only reason your son hit him is because he's bigger and was terrorizing your poor son. There would have been a screaming match if it were me. And one or both of us probably would have gotten kicked out:)

Kristen - posted on 02/06/2010

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It was the right action for him to take... you should however tell him not to be the first one to hit, my mom always said as long as we were never the first ones to hit she didnt care if we got in a fight, because she would know we were just defending ourselves... I would have been proud of him to for hitting the kid that was being a bully towards him...

Amber - posted on 02/06/2010

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i've been thru the same thing. i always taught my son not 2 fight (he's 7) but when a kid at day care was bullying him when he was around 3 or 4, i got tired of my son comin home with scratches & bites, i finally told him 2 defend himself. and im glad i did. now my son has a scar on his face from this kid, but he defended himself & the kid never messed with him again. when he got in big school, this kid was bullying him & he defended himself again, he got in trouble & i got a call from the school. i had a talk with him when he got home & explained that its not ok 2 fight but it is ok 2 take up 4 himself when someone else it hurting him. im sure i'll have many more calls but imconfident that he will not be the one starting the fight. but i can feel good knowing that he will not let anyone run over him. some ppl disagree but i think (especially boys) need 2 take up 4 themselves.

Jammie - posted on 02/06/2010

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Its not okay to start a fight but you should always defend yourself and finish the fight. Thats how I have always felt,

Rachal - posted on 02/06/2010

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It is a hard situation. But, you want your child to be able to defend themselves but at the same time if another child were to hit them how would you feel. You're always going to think you're child is in the right. You did the best you could but that other mother was upset for her child being hit. All you can do it guide him to keep only using it to defend himself. As long as he doesn't become a bully there won't be any problems. Every child should be taught to defend themselves. It's our jobs as mothers to make sure they understand that fine line.

Racheal - posted on 02/06/2010

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well if the big boy was chasing him then its the big boys fault i wud of told him off an said it was wrong to hit him and shud come to mum but not put him in time out i no its hard but he was only protecting himself n he must of scared him cos he only 4

Joanne - posted on 02/06/2010

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Yes be proud, i always brought my daughter up to not hit ever ever, and when she started school she has been bullied over and over, there would only be one thing i would ever change from what ive taught her is i done wrong telling her not to hit i wishid have told her to hit, maybe then she wouldnt have got bullied. Now i tell her to make sure she hits back! Good on you, because i would be proud the day my daughter comes in and tells me she hit back. Although i would not allow her to bully in any way

Cori - posted on 02/06/2010

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ok, i've read most everyones reply's and everyone has good and bad points. hes only 3, (and i also work in a daycare center), and am a mother of 2. my 8year old son, who is "the bully" type and my 3 year old daughter, who is "NOT". i'm going to make it clear that hitting is not ok. if u dont stop it now, u might end up with a "bully" urself. hes way to young to understand the situation. he did fell threated i'm sure. and that is ok, but he needs u to rely on to take care of him. he should not be starting to care for him self. there is a reason we r responsible for 18 years for our children. his morals and leasons will come from what u teach him. and i understand that ur unsure of if u did the right thing. there is no wrong way to haddle it if u did what u thought was best, but remeber u r molding the next generation. i'm watching my kids very closely in public places because i have both types of children. and its u who is responsible for makeing sure u stop things like this from happening. u did do the right thing by apologizing, it makes u the bigger person whether she accepted or not. keep ur head up and know as time goes on things get easier. but make sure u r showing ur little one u r there and he should have to protect himself yet. again, he is ONLY 3.

Gladys - posted on 02/06/2010

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look,I don't think teaching your kid to hit back makes you a mum who believes in violence. its teaching your kid to be defensive, to know when someone is trying to hurt him and fight back.this applies to all areas of life. there are always people who will want to push you to the wall or take advantage, you as a human being has to know when to strike back. in the past i used to think it was wrong telling my boys to defend them selves in a fight but i realize that bullies don't stop until you face them one on one.so i told them to strike back when after avoiding the situation and it persist. that's the real world and that's why we are parents, we have to teach our kids so that when we are not there they can stand on their own.this case is no different

Stacey - posted on 02/06/2010

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My son is 3 also and he turns 4 in May.

I've experienced this situation and still do with my cousins daughter who is 9.

It pisses me off that I'm at the point where I just let my son do it to her now.

She just does not listen and tries to control him, literally grabbing and pulling by the arm, and when I say let go there have been times my son has turned around and hit her, I believe it wouldn't have been as sore as she makes it out to be you know the older kids love to dramatize it with screaming and yelling like a brick fell on there head.

My son is so humble and carefree and he does not react to bullying unless a child physically hurts him or tries to take something from him.

No way would my son run after a younger child or any child, corner them off, and make them feel unsafe. Your child did not know who this kid was or what his intentions were so he defended himself.

In your situation;
I don't think that giving your son props was the right thing to do but at the same time if he was my son I wouldn't have punished him either. Sometimes situations like this just need a little explaining, ie - that boy should not have done that to you but hitting is also naughty, and then I would have gone back to eating while letting the situation calm down. If that mother and her kid were still around I would have said okay son now you need to go and say sorry to that little boy (pref. when the mother is around). If you don't get one back in return, oh well, but atleast you showed your son you cared while teaching him right from wrong.

Maira - posted on 02/05/2010

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I completly agree, my daughter used to scratch kids faces thats why she would get time outs, because she was really mean,I didnt tell her before that it was wrong to hit people. I was kid off happy she defended herself until she was making people bleed,then I realized I had to show her there was other ways of being true to herself.

And I think that shes able to get along with kids better now because I did stop her from hitting. thats only my opinion though

Kerri - posted on 02/05/2010

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I def would have felt some pride in my child not taking any crap.. that being said, I do not think that hitting is a good thing.. Me and my husband fight about this all the time because he was bullied in school and thinks its ok to hit. I totally belive in defending yourself, but I don't want my kids to think that hitting is ok. Kids are going to defend themselfs anyway.. I think that the other mother overreacted a bit and should have been paying more attention to what her son was doing. While yes he was trying to help.. at the same time he bullying your son.. Feel the pride, but just dont let your son know it.

Gelaine - posted on 02/05/2010

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I don't think I would have even have given him a time out.. I would have let him know that hitting isn't nice, but I would also have removed him from the situation. I might have apologized quickly to the mother, and maybe say to my son to come sit by mom for a while just to get him away from the other child. You want your children to defend themselves, and what the child did was not okay, but perhaps he didn't choose the best way to get him away, but at three years old children aren't really advanced enough to find other ways to resolve conflict, especially if they haven't had to before!

Jen - posted on 02/05/2010

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You disciplined your son correctly in my opinion. He did something wrong, he knew what he did was wrong, and he served his time. I don't blame you for silently cheering lol. The other mother should have also disciplined her son. You asked him to leave your son alone and he didn't. The other mom should have stopped her son before your son even got a chance to hit him with his toy lol.

Pamela - posted on 02/05/2010

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I would just get his side of the story. Ask him how he felt when he got cornered. Angry...scared? Whatever the emotion....he felt the need to hit the kid. See what he says. Just make sure he understands when it's okay and not okay to hit. Our kids should be allowed to defend themselves.

Amanda - posted on 02/05/2010

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I would have told the other mom to keep her kid in check and that it was not her child that should have been in your kids face. If her kid would have left yours alone he would not have gotten hit. Simple! lol

Jessica - posted on 02/05/2010

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i think u did the right thing and i have been there bottom line the other mother should have stopped her son first. ur son was defending himself and at least u apologized. i know its hard but u did the right thing.

Felicia - posted on 02/05/2010

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I do not agree with fighting at all. I told my daughter that the only time she fights back is when someone touches her first. Other than that, she knows that she needs to tell an adult when something else happens.

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2010

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I would of been really proud too I know its not a good thing but I think when they go to school they need to defend themselves, I prob wouldnt have even given him a time out, I believe if someone hits you you hit them back twice as hard I know its frowned upon in school but I hate bully's and believe the only way to stop them is to defend yourself, I wouldnt put up with any of my children picking on anyone and if they did and they got hit for it them it will serve them right. But yes I would of been proud too lol

Devicia - posted on 02/05/2010

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is punishment sound fine but you need to teach him to hit back but not hit first, beacuse the other child was just trying to help, your son will get in more trouble if he learns that when he dont want someone in his face he can hit them.

Mandy - posted on 02/05/2010

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I cannot believe the amount of moms here who think that teaching your child to hit is okay. There should be separate circles of moms sites, like for instance one set up for people whom think they can teach a child to differentiate when its okay to hit and not okay to hit, and one site with an iq test.

Mandy - posted on 02/05/2010

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the only way a child should defend themselves is if they have actually has someone make physical contact, the bigger boy didn't touch him and your kid hit him in the EYE with a TOY! You know that could possibly have caused a medical issue, and you would have had to pay for it, on your Burger King budget.

Jessica - posted on 02/05/2010

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What a tough situation. It sounds like you handled it well though. I'd probably have done the same thing. Of course you don't want your child to think that hitting is ok, that its a good solution to every situation. But in instances like that... I think its fair for them to stand up for themselves. I would have been after that boy's mother. I'm appalled when I hear stories about other kids bullying each other- as a parent its your responsibility to teach your kid not to act like that! I like the first poster, Sarah Will's approach- sit down and try to explain to your kid that they should try talking out of it or telling another adult first. But sometimes they need to do what they need to do! I remember growing up my brother (he's a year and a half younger than me) was always getting picked on by this kid in boy scouts, adults never did anything. So finally one day he had enough and punched him in the stomach, and the kid left him alone after that!

Sedonia - posted on 02/05/2010

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i think you should not let you son hit unless if he has been hit first because what if he hit a boy that is bigger but is not afraid to hit back or that his mother taught to hit back if he got hit then there would be two kids fighting in a tunnel and it would be hard to go in there your self to break them up i don't think that this is a good idea to let your son to do this you still can be proud of him but show him how to react next time it happens so that neither kids gets hurt there are different ways to solve arguments then fighting maybe tell the other kids mother to get her kid to stop chasing your son and tell her that it scares your son when they do that

Gladys - posted on 02/05/2010

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i have three sons. i used to scold them when they punish them when they got into fights but an event like what happened to you happened to me so i told them, "don't hit first but when you are pushed to the wall don't take a beating" some kids can be bullies. where was the other mom when her kid was stirring up trouble probably sitting back ignoring it all ,if he had given your son a beating, she would probably had said its just boys trying to be boys. i don't support kids fighting but if my son is bullied, he should fight back.

Tonya - posted on 02/05/2010

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This is difficult especially because of the school aspect. In school even if hit first the child can still get into trouble whether its self defense or not. As a mother though I would want my son to defend himself/protect himself. The situation your describing your child felt stuck and was probably scarred therefore he wanted to protect himself. I would tell him that next time he needs to come to you or another adult rather than lashing out.

Tracy - posted on 02/05/2010

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I don't think you did anything wrong. I probably wouldn't have given my kids a time out at all~he felt threatened and did what he felt he needed to do to protect himself. Good for him! He is getting old enough to teach some other ways to handle things now. He is at an age where he will comprehend things a little better if you try to explain. Let him know that he will get in trouble if he does this at school. Tell him he will need to tell a teacher. My son punched a kid in the face at lunch last week cuz he was "being annoying" (my son's words). He asked the child to stop yelling at him a few times. When he continued to do it, he got hit. I believe he quit then. My son did get into a little trouble, but not too much cuz it was the first time he got in trouble at school. I strongly believe that it is ok to teach your child to defend themselves in any way necessary when they feel threatened, so I do not believe that you or Joe were out of line. I hope this helps.

Aimee - posted on 02/05/2010

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i understand your feelings and i always thought i would teach my kids to 'defend themselves' as well but if we teach them that its good to hit when another child is doing something they dont like, they will learn that the feeling of hurting others is a satisfying one and they will start to do it all the time. Im trying to teach my 15 mth old son not to hit and to only be upset with other childrens actions when they hit first. As much as i wanna tell him to WHACK him back im teaching him to tell someone when this happens and then the adults will handle it. I believe hands are for helping not hurting and although i was raised a pretty tough chicky and was always throughing down myself, i want my son to have a better recognition of the trouble this causes. Just my thoughts on it....

Amanda - posted on 02/04/2010

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well if the mom didnt like that your son did that to hers, you should be mad that her son was bullying yours, im sure if the shoe was on the other foot her feeings would have been the same as yours. If she didnt like it anyways mabey she should teach her child to play better with others. BTW thats awsome... hahaha darn bullys anyways

Arielle - posted on 02/04/2010

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you did the right thing. my daughter is only 5 months but i will tell her, you let them throw the first punch but after that you had better get them!!!!! lol and as for the other mom she probably already knew her son was a bully anyways. if i had a said i was sorry i only would have said it once n thats it. her son was asking for it lol

Lisa - posted on 02/04/2010

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i would be proud of Joe for defending himself. You are his mother IF you really wanted him You would have gotten him. you didn't need some other child to CORNER yours to tell him what to do. and as for that other kid he needs to mind his own business. he would have not gotten hit had he not been worried about what your child was doing. i don't agree with hitting however i would never allow my child to get bullied or picked on. your Child only hit the other one bc he felt intimidated by an older bigger kid. he did what he felt he needed to do in order to get out of the situation he was in. GO JOE!!

Sheri - posted on 02/04/2010

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let me elaberat here... a stranger who plans on kidnapping your son.... do you want him to take defence and hit him in the eye with a toy or think i shouldnt hit him cuz mommy will be mad?????

Alana - posted on 02/04/2010

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i think because of school i would say to tell an adult if something is going on as that is what happens at school.....i would have felt proud too but i think this is the safest option so he wont get in trouble at school

Sheri - posted on 02/04/2010

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im sorry if it was my son i would give him kudos... that way he wouldnt think that if some other person who was actually trying to harm him .. he wouldnt hesitate to take care of himself.... and no other child should feel they have the right to corner another child like that just for running around .... that child should not feel like he should take control in that way when things dont go his way .. its not that childs place to get onto another child ... unless it was a younger sibling who was actually doing something wrong... i would have done the same thing you did. and im sorry but if that mom dont understand that then she needs to do some thinking on her own life

Kari - posted on 02/04/2010

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I think it's fine if another kid was bullying him what was he supposed to do? I wouldn't want my kid to just be bullied around.

Robin - posted on 02/04/2010

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i agree with Sarah Will... its a very fine line to walk because you don't want your children to be known as push overs... i have 2 boys... a 2-year-old and 5-month-old and if either of them felt threatened enough to hit someone then so be... i would scold them and put them in an appropriate timeout (as you did) but i would also have said something to the other mom in regards to her son not minding his own business ESPECIALLY since ya'll didn't know him! well that's my 2 cents and its pretty much the same as what you did but i just wanted you to know that i agreed with you! :-)

KRISTY - posted on 02/04/2010

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i think u did the right thing but i wouldnt have punished my son for defending himself the other mother really had no right to get snippy over the situation cause her son was the one who started it.

Jessie - posted on 02/04/2010

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I think your child did what any child would and should do if they are cornered. The child needs to know what is going to happen if he forces another child to do something they don't want to do. Now I don't believe he was being a bully but he wasn't listening himself and if he was older and your kid is going to be 4 soon he understood you. This is really a lesson for both parents and both children. Now for some people on here that said she should of stopped it before her kid got cornered, they were in tunnels at a Burger King, how was she supposed to crawl along in there to make sure the kid wasn't going to corner her child so that her child didn't hit him? Just makes no sense to me. I think you did the appropriate thing by telling her child no and putting him in time out, and the other kid got what he deserved for not listening to another adult. It was also very nice of you to apologize to the other mom even if she wouldn't accept it. I have a feeling that she lets her child get away with not listening to her b/c otherwise he would of listened to you when you told him it was ok. I have worked at a preschool for over 5 years and see this type of stuff alot. Sorry if my post is long :)

[deleted account]

i've been in this position a few times.. my son is very loving and social.. almost 2 1/2.. anyways.. he likes to play with kids sometimes and sometimes will go off on his own. somewhat bigger kids have pushed him or hit him.. i've never seen him hit back yet.. which if he did and i saw the whole thing like you then yes i would have told him its not ok to hit back but i would also expect the other mother to handle her son and say sorry to mine and then have mine say sorry to the other .. i've been in places and had this happen and a mom or two get mad at me b/c i've been ther with them and the other hits mine and say no we dont hit our friends.. i've had the other mom get nasty with me and i've said ok i see where your kid gets it from and keep him away from mine now.. but most times when my kid gets hassled the mom of the other child will come over and apologize and make and explain to their kid to be nice and say sorry, which is cool with me and i have no prob and move on

Lashanta - posted on 02/04/2010

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I feel like your son did the right thing.it's not like he didn't ignore him at first and tried to play even during the harrassment.so when he felt threatened he did what we had to do like most of us would do...defend ourselves.I tell my kids to defend themselves if talking about it and ignoring doesn't work.good job Hun you did good

Elle - posted on 02/04/2010

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I think no hitting unles you think someone will hurt you. Its a fine line but I would want my child to keep him/ her self safe.

Trina - posted on 02/04/2010

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I have been in some what the same position. My son was playing on the playground at Hungry Jacks and I asked him 3 times if he wanted to come eat and all 3 times he said "no eat" then there were 2 older girls that decided that my son, Elgin, needed to eat. The literally pick up Elgin, who is 2 1/2, and pushed him in to the tunnels to get him out of the playground. Elgin straight away when they pick him up started kicking and thrashing around with his arms. He kicked one of the girls in the stomach and hit the other girl in the face. I told the girls that it was ok if he didnt want to eat right now. He will eat it a little later. But they took upon themselves to get him down to eat.. Needless to say there were tears and screaming, Tears from the girls and screaming from Elgin. Also my son is afraid of the tunnels, he doesnt like enclosed spaces.. Unless he goes in the enclosed spaces in his own time and is not forced.
I appologised to the girls mother and luckily she had seen and heard what had happend and she said that I didnt need to be sorry. Elgin was just defending himself.
I did feel bad and a lil proud of Elgin at the same time. Its a hard situation to be in. I always say to Elgin it is not right to hit or kick people unless its a worse case... But he is 2 and a half and doesnt really comprehend that yet

Sinead - posted on 02/04/2010

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the other kid was just a bully and u should be proud that joe was able to stand up for himself, it could have been joe getting the toy in the head and the other mother probably would have told u something like her precious little angel doeesn't do anythig like that!! blind parents

go joe

Ashley - posted on 02/04/2010

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That mother should not of allowed her child to chase yours he should of been in the time out not yours. And as far as the hitting goes he went to animal instinct he was scared not his fault i would be damd proud too. I would start teaching him how to stand up verbally for himself like stop, dont touch me, and getting him to learn when and how to use, it goes aloge with teaching safety. Good luck i had a similer incident happen in mc donalds my son went down a slide the first time by him self and he got scared and cried and a bigger kid laughed and called him a wimp my son is almost two i got angry and told the 10 year old off. My son dident understand the older kid but i dont think it matters, little jurk. Any way maby im nuts to but there little they will learn with some help how to use there words.

Ashley - posted on 02/04/2010

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I had a cousin who caught a boy in a choke-hold at school because the boy punched my cousin everyday and never got into trouble. When my cousin was given three days of O.S.S. for fighting and the other boy wasn't punished, my uncle took three days off of work and spent those days at home playing video games with my cousin.
I think it is best that any child know how to defend themself and as long as they only do it when it is truely nessessary than don't worry about it. You gave your son a time out and apologized to the other child and mother, you did your part perfectly.
Next time, tell your son that he was right to fight when he had to, but that he should never hit just for fun.

Ariana - posted on 02/04/2010

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Also, I think it's cool that you let him run around and have a good time even though the food was ready. You're the mom, only you know when to put your foot down. I keep my son in check in certain situations, but in your situation, it is HEALTHY for your boy to run around and blow off some steam. You did what was right for him. I love moms like you!

Ariana - posted on 02/04/2010

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I wouldn't have put my kid on time-out at all... once kids start picking your son and he lets them, a pattern will continue and he won't have the confidence to stop it... Also, once other kids see that he's the one that gets picked on, they will jump on the band wagon and your child will have a miserable time at school and other places dealing with his peers. My son gets along great with other children, but he doesn't take any bull from anyone. He will stand up for himself because if he doesn't, he'll get in trouble with me. The key is not to allow him to be a bully. Your son wasn't a bully, he defended himself against one. GOOD FOR HIM!! Maybe that big kid will think twice before he starts chasing other little kids around. And if that big kid's mom has a problem, she should have stopped her kid from chasing after yours. If he can stand up to bullies, he will have more friends at school, which means he will LIKE going to school! My son loves school because the kids flock to him and he's not a bully, so he also gets along with the teachers. No one picks on him, but if they do, I won't be scolding the other kids... I'll be teaching my kid how to embarass bullies! Tell Joe I'm proud of him, too!!

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