Outward appearance being mommy

Jenette - posted on 06/02/2010

You are who you are-plain and simple. My husband and I had the biggest laugh the other day when our 5.5 mth old daughter finally noticed the tattoo I have on my chest. I breastfeed but then she's only thinking of food-when she noticed it she spent an hour trying to play with it and figure it out.

Jehan - posted on 06/02/2010

Keep this in mind - Some of the BEST parents I've ever met dressed in unique ways (not necessarily goth or punk, just different). Some of the worst parents I've met were "preppy" or "normal". While it's true that everything you do can affect your child's future, how you dress probably won't. Just make sure your kids happy and healthy and make you are happy with yourself. You may change your style later on. But make sure it's because you want to

Candyce - posted on 06/02/2010

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss (The realest of the real!)

Katherine - posted on 06/02/2010

I lost who I was when i became a mom. I was never goth, but I had my own personality. Don't let that go.

Kristen - posted on 06/02/2010

I have 2 kids, and I dress how I want to dress. My kids think it is cool that I color my hair and such. I have certain family members who do not approve but I do not care because it is my life. So be who you are not who or what everyone else wants you to be/do.

Airell - posted on 06/02/2010

I'm 20. I look like I'm 12. People look at me weird when they see me pushing this stroller and no wedding ring on. I hate feeling judged so I even started to wear just an ring on my finger. I tried to make myself look older and more mature... truth is you just have to stop caring what other people think. You are who you are and thats that. Let them think you're weird.. Let them talk.. If you are proud of who you are and expressing it then screw them.

Added bonus, being comfortable with who you are will show your daughter when she gets older that it doesnt matter what people think and just to be herself.

Amanda - posted on 06/02/2010

yes I have felt that way to, mainly the older people in my community look at me differently because I have tattoos and I am a mom, I don't dress that different I guess it would be preppy looking to a point but I have had my hair pink and black and even that is looked at strangly but I just ignore them, I am not giving up my tattoos just because it doesn't look right or seem to be proper for a mother to do, I am who I am and I still am a good mom, I think you should be the same way, just dress the way u want, because of how u want to be does not make you a bad mom, let them look but its better for you to be happy then depressed, a happy mom makes a happy kid and good luck :)

Angela - posted on 06/02/2010

as long as your happy and comfortable and you and your daughter know you are a good mum then sod what anyone else thinks. whilst i'm the most colourful person in my group of freinds many of my mates dress 'goth' and it doesn't bother me at all. i know its hard (and i stuggle myself) but what other people think really doesn't matter.

Nikkole - posted on 06/02/2010

hi. People can be so mean. you arent a bad mommy. if you like to have different hair color, and have piercing so what. I wouldnt change my look just bc some people dont like it. You need to be happy with you. if you arent happy then your daughter wont be happy. I have tattoos, and my lil girls dad hair is bright red right now. I wouldnt let those people get to you . good luck

Holly - posted on 06/02/2010

I wish I could just give you a hug. I feel bad for you. Sadly, it's true that people judge others based on looks. All of us feel like we are being judged for something or another (for me,...I think people look at me like I am too young to have a baby--I look younger than I am but I am 22 and have been married for 3 years!) I am glad you posted this though--to remind all of us to not judge others based on appearance. I am guilty of doing it myself as much as that is bad to admit. Your looks are simply not the norm, but if you're not happy then that isn't good for yourself or your child. They feed off of us--so if we aren't happy they can sense that. Do what makes you feel good and continue being the great mommy you are. If you are genuinely concerned about what others think--then may I ask you why you like these things? Why is it important to you to have crazy hair colors and piercings and such? Evaluate that. And maybe you could still have your style but tone it down some? (ie: strips of color on the underside of your hair? wearing modest piercings not big giant dangle/hoop piercings? etc.? But style is usually not forever--it may change? Although I am only 22, I do not look anything the same as I did 3 or 4 years ago. I hope it gets better for you. Take care! Where are you from?

Jocelyn - posted on 06/02/2010

"You're a mother now, you can't dress like that."
Really? There's a mom dress code? rofl! That is news to me!
Just dress how ever you want to dress, no one can stop you, and clothing has absolutely no bearing on how we parent (well, 4 inch heels might hinder some actions lol). I have plenty of tattoos, so sometimes I stick a fake tattoo on my son (I even found band-aids that have tattoo designs on them!) It doesn't matter if other random people think you are a bad mom based on their uninformed judgment!

Brandee - posted on 06/02/2010

Have fun with it and dress your kid as the poster child for Baby Gap or Gymboree.. The polar opposite of how you dress.. That would make them look for sure.. (that is just a joke).. In all seriousness you shouldn't change yourself unless you want to change.. I have changed the way I dress since my son was born 2 years ago.. I have become much more conservative, but I am ok with that because that's what I wanted.. You can be a good mommy no matter what you wear and your child won't love you any less.. Most important is to keep the lines of communication open as your child grows older and let them know you will always be there for them.

Candyce - posted on 06/02/2010

DON'T GET OVER IT AT ALL!!!! You'll start to build up a whole lot of resentment if you do. I did the funky colors and cuts up until about a year ago (too much energy to keep it up), the mainly black wardrobe, tattoos, not so much on piercings though. Same thing with my taste in music - people are horrified that I let my son listen to "dirges" and darker music, when it's really infinitely better than most stuff on the radio right now. Good mommies are the ones who appreciate who they are and let their kids see it. How are your children going to know how to love themselves, even if they're different, if they never see you do it? I'm mad at myself now for tossing out my chokers, spikes, and decapitated Barbies. Those things are just too damn expensive.....
Blessed Be

Jordan - posted on 06/02/2010

If you are not happy and comfortable in your own "skin," your baby will suffer. I know you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, but doing what is best for you (and your baby) and ignoring the looks and comments you may receive is almost always your best bet. Good luck...I know it isn't easy.

Gina - posted on 06/02/2010

I know how this feels I myself had 17 holes just in my face and I have about 20 tattoos I'm 20 years old and I never really wore the same clothes as the other kids. Don't hide yourself. People may be drawn to look at you but if you are doing everything in the best interest of your child it shouldnt make a difference. I had to take my piercings out when I had my son but that didn't stop me from popping them back in and well some of them didn't fit back to where they belonged because I had them out for so long. I didn't bother to push them, felt that maybe it was something saying I shouldn't put them back so now I feel depressed because I feel as though I am not myself without them there. .... Simple solution - I put back in my septum ring so I can still feel as though I have my piercings but I can always hide it if I feel the need to :) Nobody knows its there except for me unless I have it down. Which lets me feel comfort in myself and others not stare at the girl with the stuff in her face. As for the hair, funky hair is always in style, you just have to make it work. I had a mohawk for about 5 months and people thought it was cool to have that with my son, I used to spike his hair up to look like mine!!! (not cut it though)
You can put funky colors in your hair but maybe do a more natural base. Like, Brown hair with a bright red undertone or hilight, or bangs.... Blonde hair & a purple/pink bang, Etc...
As for clothing get creative. You can make band t-shirts into dresses for the summer over your bathing suit and they look chic. or play up the all black look with little bursts of color or more modern style clothing in black. There are so many things you can do but most importantly, BE YOURSELF!

Lydia - posted on 06/02/2010

My friend went through something similar...funniest thing was that most people didnt care about how she dressed but they did judge her because she presented herself with an unnecessary defiance (bordering on aggressive) because she wasnt confident in herself as a Goth Mum. The biggest judgement actually came from herself - dont assume that a 'funny' look from someone is meant as a negative judgement - it may just be an unusual visual for them and they are just registering it. Have people actually overtly judged you or are you assuming that they are judging you?
I say be who you are so long as you arent hurting anyone who cares what others think. (Actually you would probably be surprised at the number of people who may actually be looking at you and wishing they were confident enough to step outside of the mainstream box too)

Leslie - posted on 06/01/2010

hi im new here but as i was reading your post i couldnt help sending a response. listen if you know your a good mother that is ALL tthat counts, our child will look up to you not for what you wear or what color your hair is but for what you do for him/her. i have 3 large tattoos and piercings and i know i get these really bad looks at my daughters school, but i learned to brush it off becaus i know how hard i work to provide for my daughter and you know what my daughter is very proud of me and loves that im "cool" lol so dont you worry about any one elses opinions, there are plenty of unfit mothers who dress the part but are horrible parents, be confident in knowing you are a wonderful mother, and remember you cant make your child happy if our not happy, your child should learn that in this worl its okay to be different and its ok to be TRUE to yourself, i widh you the best ~leslie

KRISTY - posted on 06/01/2010

i kno the feeling i have tattoos and piercing and i look out of place with the other mothers in my mothers group sure probebly have a lil bitch behind my back but it all come down to this if ur baby is happy and healthy and u do everythijng to make sure that they are then wat does it matter what ur outward apperance is........i kno i get the feeling ppl stare at me cause of these thing but u just have to focus on ur lil one and not what ppl may or may not be thinking about u :) my son never goes without and he will never want for anything

Joanna - posted on 06/01/2010

I used to be quite a rebel appearance-wise (I've always been shy, so it was my way of being an extrovert). Once I had my daughter I kind of stopped caring so much about how I looked (I figured as long as I brushed my teeth and had deodorant on that's all that mattered, lol). But I still had the feeling of wanting to be me, and I went through a few stages where I put blue streaks in my hair, got my nose pierced, heck, I even recently shaved the side of my head and dyed the short hair purple (I was pregnant and didn't know it so I blame hormones).

But, what I've done with my looks, or how I looked in the past, my 20 tattoos, NONE of that has anything to do with what kind of parent I am. As long as YOU know you are a good parent that's all that matters. Yes, some people will judge, but they don't matter, only you and your family/friends matter. YOU matter - so look the way that makes you happy!

Alison - posted on 06/01/2010

Let yourself be free! Dont stifle yourself for anyone, because the only one that can judge you is God. If others want to make assumptions and judgments becasue of how you look, then you dont need them in your life anyways. It doesnt make you any less of a wonderful parent because you like Goth things or looks or have tattoos or anything. be who you want to be and I really believe that you children will grow up to be just as string as you are!

Soleil - posted on 06/01/2010

I know exactly how you feel. Both my legs are tattoo'd past my knees, and my whole back as well. I live in Orange County Ca, the most appearance based place on earth. I've learned one thing. Some moms will not let their kids play with mine, and you know what, good. I don't want my kids around people who judge by outward appearances. It's just like race... you wont hang out with someone because they're black?? Your loss. I have learned, if you are happy with yourself, that is the best lesson you can give your child. If they see you don't let other people hold you back, they wont either. Wear your goth stuff with pride, and if other moms judge you for it, you're better of not knowing them! Rock who you are, and be proud of it!!!

Danette - posted on 06/01/2010

You should not be judged on what you wear but how you take cae of your child and if they are happy and healthy. People will always look for something to talk about, it is a fact of life. So don't make yourself misrable just to give them something else to say. Be different and be proud of your individuality. The world would be so boring if we were all cut from the same cloth. Some like cotton others like leather that is why this world is so interesting!! Go out buy the clothes you like and get a bottle of hair dye and get reaquainted with the person your child will look up to and admire. Be the mommy who teaches the lesson that it is not how you look but how you are as a person and that is how you should be judged.

Sonia - posted on 06/01/2010

Honestly, being yourself is the best thing. Don't worry about what other people think, if they don't know you then who are they to Judge. your children always pick up on when you are down and when you are happy. if you are happy your child is happy, if you are sad your child is sad. So being yourself helps both you and your child.

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2010

Just because you dress a certain way that does not make you a bad mother. I see bad mothers that dress "normal". The word normal means different things to different people. It's like school there is always going to be that person or people that have nothing better to do than look at everyone else instead of themselves. Dress the way you want you should be comfortable and happy with the way you look. Good LUck!

Christa - posted on 06/01/2010

I understand, I'm a Marine and I have ran into people who think I'm an unfit mother to my 2 little girls (aged 17mos and 4mos). They think that if I'm not at home then I don't care about them. I have also been asked why I didn't try and get out after I found oiut I was pregnant with my first daughter. It hurt at first, but now it doesn't bother me. My husband and I are both military and we both bring in some good pay. We're not rich by any means but we can give them things we never had when we were growing up. We just got back from Sea World, spent the entire weekend in san diego and last year we went to disneyland. If we didn't have our benefits, we never would have been able to go. Plus, my mother loves bragging about me, lol

Kayla - posted on 06/01/2010

ok so i think that its way way way up to you!! if you want to wear dark clothes and such....thats just expression...dont worry bout what other ppl say!! they dont live your life!! go for it!! i have piercings and tattoos...just expression my dear!! GO FOR IT!!

Deanna - posted on 06/01/2010

What you know, and what others think are 2 different things. So, you have piercings and strange coloured hair. They should not judge you on who you are. I know this one person, she is a normal woman. Has 4 kids, a boyfriend, and dresses "normal". But, she is the worst mother I have ever seen in my life. Her daughter has to pay everything from her pay, her other daughter is not allowed anything, and her youngest gets away with murder. And yet, nothing will be done for her. I know another guy, he is like you. He wears the strange clothes, his son has the mohawk, and yet he is a wonderful father. People need to just be themselves. If you know you are a good mother, then a little selfishness in the way you dress should not be an issue. I say, wear what you want. As long as your daughter knows you love her, who cares what the followers think.

Liz - posted on 06/01/2010

You know you're not a bad mommy. That's all that matters. People will always judge us young moms just because we're young. We can't win no matter how we're dressed!

Sara - posted on 06/01/2010

Don't let the thoughts of others let you change who you really are. Are you happy with the way you look? Is your child taken care of and loved? Then who cares?! I'm sure you're doing a great job. Keep your look if it makes you happy, because if you're not happy, neither is your baby.

Jennifer - posted on 06/01/2010

Some people look at me and shake their heads or call me a bad mom because I am an easy going mom with a lot of attitude and not enough patience for judgemental people. I have tattoos and peircings. I love being different! I tell my kids to never try to be someone that they are not. I just say, "If they don't like who I am they don't have to be around me!"

Karen - posted on 06/01/2010

what other people think doesn't matter at all. My husband has tatoos, piercings, and is a wonderful dad. People may be thinking that just because you are dressed like that that you haven't matured enough. WRONG, it's who you are. i have friends who are moms that dress the same way. They are excellent moms. They may be thinking that just because you like it, you will pass it on to them. But i knowit's all about self expression. If your child didn't want to dress like that, you wouldn't force it. You will be raising your little one with a very good value. Always be yourself, express yourself and be proud of who you are. So many teens are self conciouse about who they are (i was one), and what people think and it's sad. it delays or even prevents them from getting to where they want to be. Our house isn't fancy so everyone thinks we are poor and don't have any money when really we are just money efficient. Our house may not have ceramic tile, hardwood floors, or fancy dishes but our kids have nice clothes, good healthy meals, and we take them out all the time to the drive in movies, fishing, camping you name it. It doesn't matter what you look like. Love is all you need. Hold your head up when you see people like that and give your child the biggest kiss. Show them you love your child and you are proud to be who you are. Your an excellent mom!

Rachel - posted on 06/01/2010

I definitely agree that you should be yourself, but you also now have a daughter who will always be looking up to you and will want to someday dress they way you do and do her hair the way you do yours. When your daughter is a young girl or teenager do you want her to be dressing the way you dress now?? With all the other pressures of middle and high school?? Just something to think about. Being a mommy definitely doesn't mean you have to change everything about yourself, but you are responsible for another life now and everything you do/act/dress/say will affect your daughter. I used to dress goth too in college and loved wearing all black, but now that I'm a mommy that style just isn't me anymore. I wouldn't say I'm surpressing anything about myself, that was just a college phase and I love my khaki shorts and tank tops and flip flops now. Just think about who you want to be now and how you want your lifestyle to affect your daughter.

Rebecca - posted on 06/01/2010

It takes all sorts of people to to be parents, if goth is your thing go for it! Ignore other people, there is no set style for being a mommy. As long as your child is healthy and happy do your own thing. But I'd be careful with the piercings, it would hurt like hell if the baby got ahold of one and jerked it out. OUCH!

Veronique - posted on 06/01/2010

Who cares what other people think!!!!!! If that's what makes you happy, then why change that just to make others happy. That's not a way of living. You said it yourself, you are a good mommy so keep wearing those clothes and keep that hole in your lip. As long as your daughter is happy and healthy and gets everything she needs to grow up happy then by all means keep expressing yourself that way. It's sad that we live in a society that look done on people who are different whether it is being 2 women or 2 men raising a child to wearing different clothes. We no longer live in the 1950's so this old ladies you look at your different just can't except the new times.
Good luck!

Angel - posted on 06/01/2010

I used to. I had piercings, and I have tattoos, and dyed black hair. For me the older I got the less i got into it. I took out my piercings, except for my nose and ears. My tattoos are there to stay, and I like it that way! I dont want to be a soccer mom. I dont want to lumped into the majority of mothers. I am an individual, and I want people to take notice that I am not like every other mom. You should too! (Unless you want to be a soccer mom...) I love my kids, but that doesnt mean I have to lose myself. I hope it helps.

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2010

i agree don't listen to what other people say just be yourself! i've found that most people in my small town are either goth or preppy... and most of the preppy people have the "slutty" appearence or reputations and they are also the ones that do the most drugs! my husband used to be into drugs when he was in high school (he is 28 now) and all the people he knew that did drugs were the ones most people thought were the "good sensible kids!" so don't let anyone judge you on your appearence... unless they see you doing something bad they have nothing to go by! i went through alot of different phases in school, i was preppy one year, punk the next, sporty one year and goth the next i was trying to figure out who i am! as long as you are happy and your child is happy nothing else matters!

Jehan - posted on 06/01/2010

OH!! DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE'S JUDGEMENTAL CRAPPY ATTITUDES MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER!!!!!
YOU know you are a good Mommy, Your baby knows you are a good Mommy. That is all that matters.
You feed her. You clothe her. You protect her, and discipline her in a loving manner. THen, you are a good mother. Being depressed CAN be an issue, because it can affect your daughter. That is something you need to take care of. But your clothes don't dictate what kind of mother you are. I am not goth or anything, but my husband has a lot of tattoos and I don't dress in " tv mommy" type clothes, so we get nasty looks when we go to church or do family things. I really don't care. Nor should you. Be yourself, love yourself for your daughter's sake as well as your own.

Carolee - posted on 06/01/2010

Tiffany, what the hell kind of difference does it make if a person is obese or not? That's the same kind of judgemental mentality of people that she is trying to AVOID! Why would you encourage somebody to be themselves while, at the same time, telling her that it's not okay for others to be themselves? I don't get it...

Ashley=) - posted on 06/01/2010

All mothers at some point will be judged by others.Be who you are,the world wouldnt be the colourful world it is if we all looked the same(plain janes lol).You are going to teach your daughter to respect and not judge another because of there different appearance.You know who you are and what an awesome mom you are to your child.What else matters.Be happy and proud(if not on the outside on the inside lol)

Christi - posted on 06/01/2010

you do what you want. just because you dress a certain way doesn't mean you are a bad mother. i have several tattoos and peircings and just because i am a momma now doesn't mean i have changed what i like.

Shana - posted on 05/31/2010

Thanks everyone, it makes me feel much better knowing other people have the same issue. I'm not slutty, at least in my opinion, in the way I dress so no concerns on that one, It just makes me upset that automatically people think I'm a bad mom. Even my mom told me "Shana, you have a baby now, you can't be wearing stuff like that" So, I dunno. But I will keep with what I want, because you're all right, it's no good to teach my daughter to hide who she is when she's older. :D

Tiffany - posted on 05/31/2010

Wear what you want. Make your baby wear a onesie that says "My Daddy Is Cthulu." Get her some little black maryjanes and make her tote around Jack Skellington doll.

Whatever your flavor is, do it. If you get looks, stare back at them- especially if they're obese, because unlike your look, thiers is detrimental to thier health.

Carolee - posted on 05/31/2010

People will make assumptions no matter what. I have the same problem as you do. The one thing I miss most of all (that I had to give up because I have kids) is going to the fetish bar for 'freak night'. After I have my little girl (within the next few weeks), I am going to go and buy new clothes that express ME. If other people want to think that I am anything but a good mom SIMPLY because of the clothes I wear, the tattoos I have, or where I choose to get pierced, then that is THEIR problem. My son is one of the most polite, loving, and well-behaved toddlers, and I am ALWAYS getting compliments on how I am raising him. That will not change if I have bright red hair with black streaks (my favorite way to have it), big tribal tattoos, and multiple piercings... and if I feel most comfortable while wearing a corset, screw anyone who assumes that I'm a slut! Seriously, I'm sick of people assuming things based on appearances. Just because somebody has blonde hair does NOT mean that they are an idiot. Just because somebody looks like they are homeless does not mean that they are stupid and/or lazy. And anybody who will judge me based solely on my looks doesn't deserve to know me as a person anyways. Those types of people are usually too full of drama for me.



Good luck with sticking with who you are as a person, and teaching your children that it's okay to be a little bit different in life. We keep things interesting.

Sheryl - posted on 05/31/2010

when i think goth from where poeple that dress it where more in to drugs. but that being said i also new people that dressed that way cause they wanted to and they where good people. you can't judge someone by just looking at them. and you can't judge how good of a mom is on how they dress. know if you where dressing like a sluty that would be one thing. cause that type of dressing can cause a big fuss! but you don't sound like that they way you want to dress. some of my good friends dress that way even an ex did when i was in high school. know we looked worried togather cause i was in to sports and somewhat girly but he was a good person. in the end thats all that matters! if someone got a perblem then till them to go get a life. instead of worry about u. luck and and be your self.

Amber - posted on 05/31/2010

dont bother being so concerned with wut other ppl think of u. its so unimportant. i have bright ass purple/pink hair, septum ring, lip ring, nose ring, hoops all up my ears, a half sleeve and 4 other tats besides. as long as ur a good parent and ur kid loves u then it really doesnt matter wut others think of u.

Danielle - posted on 05/31/2010

I say you do what makes YOU happy. Who cares if Joe Blow down the street thinks you are a good mom. If you are providing, caring and loving that child it doesn't matter what clothes you wear. I am not one to follow trends and I do have a few items that would be considered "goth" myself but I do not let the ignorant people of this world dictate my actions. Currently I have purple hair and I live in the South. I can not tell you the looks my husband (a long haired, big bearded metal-head) and I get when we are out. You have to be you and do what makes you happy. And think of the example that you will be setting for you child. By being you, you will instill in your child that individuality is ok and that being yourself no matter who that is, is what is best for your child. If my daughter wants pink hair I will let her do it, provided she isn't going to be harmed in any way. And as soon as she is old enough I am going to let her dress herself, even if that means wearing swimming goggles as a head band and a skirt over her jeans. You as the adult set the pace for many things and individuality and creativity should not be controlled by anyone outside your household for both you and your child.

Anna - posted on 05/31/2010

Really the best thing you can do for your child is to be yourself because you'll be proving that authenticity is the best way to live your life. Your child will look to you for confirmation that it's okay for her to be who she is; how can you reaffirm that for her if you're hiding who you are? People will always have something to judge you for, whether it be how you look, walk, talk, or care for your child, so, ignore the hell out of them. You'll honestly be one pretty cool mom if you're not putting yourself into the generic white bread category just because you think that's how you should behave.

Sarah - posted on 05/31/2010

As long as your child is happy, healthy and well taken care of then it doesn't matter. I have tattoos and dress how I want (punk) and I get a lot of strange looks, especially since I look very young, but I don't really care- I figure if you know me then you know how well I take care of my child, and if you don't know me, why should I care what you think anyway?? I want my daughter to grow up knowing her mother was not afraid to be an individual, hopefully it will make it easier for her to be independant if she has that strong female role model. Besides, in my opinion a lot of the 'preppy' moms are modeling behaviors I would not want my daughter to imitate (tight clothes, words written across their butts, boobs hanging out, too much makeup, etc).

Natasha - posted on 05/31/2010

Don't conform for anyone elses sake. If your child is happy, healthy and safe, where is the problem really? People should just mind their own business. I'm sure your child would rather a happy mother than a depressed one.

Erin - posted on 05/31/2010

I think most ppl look at others who dress in "goth" oddly regardless of children! Unfortunately when I hear "goth" I think slut... :( If you are dressing like a slut then I don't think it matters what color your clothes are! People are going to look at you and think...no wonder she has a kid...if you're painting your face white and going all vampy goth then I'd probably think there was something wrong w/you too :( But that's because I attribute THAT kind of behavior with children and children should not be having children... If its just that you like to wear tight black clothes w/studs and other gear then whatever? Odd hair colors and black clothes/accessories wouldn't bother me, its all the other stuff that would!



Aside from that, wear what you want! The clothing you wear is NOT a testament to your parenting style! Suppressing yourself isn't going to make you a good parent!