People's rude looks
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Megan - posted on 01/22/2009
I have had sales people come to the door and I answer and they look at me and say... Can I speak to the lady of the house? And I look at them and say I am the lady of the house thank you... And then I get the... But you are so young... And I just smile. I am 22 but I look like a teenager. My fiancee on the other hand is 23 and people always think he is older. I don't take much notice to the looks when we are out. I am sure I got more when I was pregnant then I have after having my daughter but I know I still get those looks.
The way I look at it is that when I am 38 and my daughter is 16 I will still remember what it was like to be a teenager and if people think we are sisters at that point then that will be finee with me.
I get ID'd where ever we go. I do not mind. I won't need the botox or plastic surgery as soon as others!!!
I love being a young mom and would not change it for the world.
Sherilyn - posted on 11/29/2008
I don't take the time to really notice what people are saying or how they are looking at me. i come from a small town so there are a lot of taboo's. when I got pregnant at 17 i remember most people saying that I ruined my life. I took that as a challenge to show people that yes I made a bad choice but it doens't mean I screwed up my life. I had a hard time understanding how a child could be a bad thing. Yes my oldest was a result of a 1 night stand but I also had to make the choice to do what was right or do what was easy. i chose to do what is right. Most people thought that because I was yougn single and alone I couldn't do it. So after graduation from high school I got myself ready for college and finsihed my 2 yr program. I can't say that when my kids are old enough to start having babies I will be thrilled about it because I want my kids to be able to experiance some of life and get themselves set up and stable first before having kids but i definelty will be there to help them. however they will be the ones responsible for taking care of thier baby because if they are old enough to play they are old enough to deal with the consequences that come along with it.
Valerie - posted on 11/29/2008
I got looks at times but I refused to acknowlege those people. They have nothing else better to do than to judge others. I wouldnt sweat it. I found that there are too many other things in life to worry about than what other people think of me.
Dawn - posted on 11/29/2008
well thats exactly it, years ago we didnt really have much of a demand for getting ready for a family at 15+ and now we do. but because some ppl have family young and dont take on their responsibilities we all have a bad name. it just sucks, not really now that i am 25, but when i was 16...wow !! and i was ready, i had been taking care of my sister and house hold since i was 12, so when i found out i was pregnant at 16, i was ok with it and was ready to take it on no matter what. and its sad that some people dont aknowledge the rest of us. but what can u do besides hold ur head up high and be proud that ull still be young enough to run around with the grandchildren...lol and have a great social life after they move out...haha since i didnt have one through my teen years!!!
Michelle - posted on 11/29/2008
Chrystal, I think it's all about preparedness. One thing I find sadly lacking in our society is the desire to prepare teenagers to become adults, ready to not only care for themselves but take on the responsibility of a family. Too many girls today grow up with no idea how to care for a home or a child, and neither college nor single life prepare them for that. Plenty of women achieve financial success with careers and nice homes, only to find themselves at a complete loss when they start their families. IMO, our society is doing young people a grave disservice in this regard.
My oldest two children are 9 and 10 years old. They spend plenty of time playing and "being children," but they also know how to tidy the house, scrub the bathroom and the kitchen, wash the dishes, wash, fold, and put away the laundry, cook some basic meals, change a diaper, and watch after their younger siblings. By the time they are 16 I fully expect them to be capable of running the house even if I am not here.
This is just the start of a completely different expectation of our kids than a lot of society has -- that the purpose of childhood and adolescence is to prepare for adulthood. To ready a child for marriage, family, and responsibility. The kids also know that when they begin to date, the purpose of that is to prepare for and find the person whom they will marry.
I'm not saying that just because I expect something different of them that I think everything will go as I plan. But I do feel that this sense of purpose and preparedness is a big part of what's changed from the days when 14 year olds were ready to marry and have kids to these days when you hear news reports of 28 year olds moving back home after college because they aren't even ready to take care of themselves.
If my kids get married at what this society sees as a very young age and choose to start having kids, I will feel very confident in their ability to succeed. And I honestly feel that even if they "screw up" and end up 17 and alone with a baby, at least they'll have a solid foundation. They'll know how to get started taking care of themselves and their new responsibility. And of course they'll have us.
Sorry to go off on my little diatribe there. In my family's zeal to raise me to be the first "career girl" in our family, they failed to recognize that even if I did fulfill their ambitions for me I would still need to know how to take care of a house and husband and kids. I've spent the last seven years trying to figure it out and failing much too often for my liking. THAT is what I don't want for my kids.
Lee-Anne - posted on 11/28/2008
No your not the only one. I went to the mall with my two kids and my friend she's 4 years younger then me, people come up and ask how old the kids are but they always look pasted me and talk to who ever i'm with. I can't stand it.
Elesha - posted on 11/28/2008
I was definitely not prepared to have a baby! escpically when her father left us when i ws 3 months pregnant just to get another chick pregnant. LaShea now has a sister who is 3 months younger then her! but no I've been on my own. luckly when i got prego i was going to school so...now i have a good job in the medical feild an can take her better! still alone! oh an i never notice anyone looking at me strange in South Dakota! Because I don't care!
Chrystal - posted on 11/26/2008
My own experience as a young parent is that it was a very difficult path. One I would not change for all the money in the world, however, for my own children I wish for less hardship.
Many of the posts here mention how people assumed you were some welfare mother. I WAS a welfare mother and it is not a good place to start a family from. My children's father was not involved what so ever in their lives and this left me feeling depressed many many times over the years. There were many times our family went without and often accepted charity. There was very little pride in my first few years as a mother and even one time when my young son and I were living in a homeless shelter. If my children were in the position to have a family at a young age then I would absolutely give my blessing, if they were to start a family in any way close to the way I did, I would be frought with worry. By saying I hope that my own kids do not have children at the age of 18 (or until they are prepared) I only mean that many 18 year olds are not mature enough to handle the responsibilities. One could even argue that I was not, considering the hardships we experienced. Clearly this forum is full of women who were up to the task.
As for the appropriate age to have children, yes, the younger you are the healthier your pregnancy will be. However, a woman in her 30s having a child is not considered high risk unless she is on the later end of her 30s-the time most women's bodies begin to gear up to lose the baby making functions through menopause.
Michelle - posted on 11/26/2008
Hmmm, Chrystal, I disagree about not wanting my child to have a baby at 18. I have already started letting my older daughter know that if she plans to have a family, and especially if she wants a large family like ours (I have seven), she needs to consider starting while she is young. Biologically, 18 is an ideal time to have a baby; it's safer for both baby and mother than any time before or after. Once a woman reaches 30 her fertility declines and risk of birth defect and miscarriage increases. It absolutely breaks my heart when I hear of a woman who wants children but waited until her thirties and is learning the hard way how much more difficult it is at that age. It's not impossible -- I know a woman who had 7 of her 9 biological children after 30 -- but for some women it's just too late.
I'm not saying I would push my daughters to have a child in their 20s. I mean, it's not really up to me but to God. But if she was married and ready to have a baby, I'd definitely give my blessing.
Sarah - posted on 11/25/2008
I totally agree with all of these posts. I'm 22, I've been married for a year and a half and we have a 6 month old daughter. When I was pregnant, my fingers got fat and I couldn't wear my wedding ring. We signed up for a pregnancy/birth class, and I was there earlier than my husband... the people in the class gave me looks, I even got one from the instructor. then seth got there with his ring on and gave me a kiss and sat next to me... they still made comments and gave us looks when they found out how old i was... and that there is a 7 year age differance between me and seth... give me a break...... grrrrrr.
I too have a sister that is 15 years younger than me. When my mom, my sister, me and my daughter go somewhere together, people think/say that mom and I are sisters and that the two younger girls are my mom's kids... mom was 21 when she had me and i was 21 when i had my daughter
Chrystal - posted on 11/25/2008
I've read all of these comments about society's negative attitude toward young moms.
I myself had my son shortly before my 19th birthday, and then had my daughter at 24. Growing up I had always been the local babysitter, sunday school teacher, and had two siblings that were 12 and 15 years younger than myself. Becoming a mother was a very natural step for me in my life at that time, and I fully agree with some of you who have pointed out that both historically and biologically, it is natural to become a mother at these younger ages. I have struggled over the years with society's assumputions, either because I was single or young. These encounters and looks often left me frustrated, but always striving to better my situation. One could even say that these attitudes challenged me to be and reflect more. More calm, more success, more polite and mannered behaviour, more, more, more...
My own mother had me at 18, I had my son at 18. However, if you were to ask me if I would be okay with my son or daughter becoming a parent at 18 years old?
At 18 years old-and younger-there is so much out there in this world for a young person to learn and explore. If this situation were to unfold of course, I would have to revert to the tried and true, "I will always love you and support you"....but I hope that at 18 years old my children aim for something other than the responsibilities of another life. At 18 years old, that young person should be at the brink of their future.
Now I am almost 27 and plan to have another child with my partner in about 2-3 years. This will be the first pregnancy I have ever planned. When I was younger, I thought I would have my first child at 26, and here I am just winding down!
So although most of these posts are about rude people, and stereotypes, I can honestly say that I can understand from where these views originate. You must agree, there are definitely some young parents out there giving the rest of us a bad name...
Nikki - posted on 11/25/2008
I had my daughter at age 21 but I have been told that I look like I am 17 or 18. I am now 24 and married but if I have my daughter out on the buss or at the mall people look at me like I am too young to have kids and it has gotten worse since I am pregnate again. Sometimes I see people looking at me with pitty in their eyes like I have runed my life or something. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so excited to be having a little boy. I have a great husband that loves us and helps me out a lot . I feel like I am lucky to have a great family at a young age and don't care what anyone else thinks, it is just hard sometimes.
Kelly - posted on 11/25/2008
Hey Ladies, Im a 27 year old mom of a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Not only was it rough being young with my first, even my gyno was rude about everything. The pressure of marriage and society it really can drag you down. Then i realized that those people really dont matter especially cause they dont care!! Hold your heads up high ladies. God gave you your children because he trust you will raise them to be fine people. I grew up on a philosophy of "Just Smile and Nod" even if you want to rip their eyes out cause they are stuck on you like glue. Remember that it Doesnt Matter!!! Hope that kinda helps and good luck and God bless you and your children!
Nicki - posted on 11/25/2008
Hey I am a 21 year old mom of a 2 year old boy and I also get the same glares and stares. It is a very sad thing to know it happens to so many people. I also have tattoos and piercings, so people automatically assume I am a bad mom. I think people need to stop judging people by how they look and instead by who they are! I work with mentally challenged adults at a group home and I am a very good mom, my son knows sign language and says please and thank you for everything, he is a wonderful little guy!! So as you said "Come on people!".
Clair - posted on 11/25/2008
im a young SINGLE mum of 2 beautifull children and it dose not affect me or my children that i am rasing them alone. i had my first at 20 and my second at 22 people do look at me in disbelife when im out wid my 2yr old and a 3 month old baby as i do look bout 17 but i just brush it off and think my children are loved cared 4 and happy so why should i give 2 hoots what they think. i am a better mum than sum of the older mums out there age should not affect wether u have kids or not as long as you are ready thats all that matters!!! and 2 all off u out there with this problem keep ur chin up and when they do do it just smile back and walk past like u dont give a sh** you are better than that
Dawn - posted on 11/25/2008
i hear ya. i had my son at 17 then was pregnant with my first daughter at 19...we were walking down the street one day( i was with the father and still am) and some guys drove by, took the time to open their car door and slow down and yell out horrible things to us...like calling me a sl*t ans so on..immature ppl...hmmmmm
Laura - posted on 11/24/2008
I haven't had many looks since having her, which I consider very surprising. I look a good bit younger then I am (legal drinking age here is 19, I'm 24 and got ID'd the other day while buying our holiday-guest booze... I had my daughter with me). I got A LOT of looks and comments when I was pregnant though, and I was 23! Actually, most of them were while I was working. I even had someone tell me I was too young to be working and pregnant. I promptly told them I had just graduated from University and was married. I can see some looks coming up soon as my joints are still swollen enough that I can't get my wedding band on. Honestly, why does it matter to anyone else how old I am?
Michelle - posted on 11/24/2008
I only got a rude comment to my face once. A cashier at the grocery store was giving me a hard time about buying cigarettes, and I laughed and said, "I hope I'm old enough to buy cigarettes since I'm married and expecting my fourth child!" She looked at me like I was crazy and said if I were her daughter she'd kill me! I was 22 then.
I usually don't get dirty looks or rude comments, but people who meet me for the first time without my kids are usually shocked when they find out I'm a mom. Last year a woman asked me where I went to high school, and then a month later a woman in my Bible study group said, "You have kids? I thought you were in high school!"
But then, a couple of years ago I was with one of my babies in the church nursery, and I asked one of the nursery workers if she had kids, and she looked at me like I was nuts and explained that she was only 14. Ooops. She looked older!!
Elesha - posted on 11/24/2008
Let um look, let them turn there noses up, let um talk shit! They don't us! They don't know our situations! I say just blow 'em off and turn your nose back up to them! Fuck 'um were taking care of your babies the best we know how; and alot of us are going to school, working full time, and taking care of our kids; single or not! I think we deserve respect! Its not like was aborted them or gave them up to adoption! So I say fuck 'um!
Tonya - posted on 11/23/2008
i always got looks when my daughter was younger. it started the day we got to bring her home. the nurse looked at my mom and told her what to do with my daughter.i looked at her and said that is my daughter so tell me what to do.
Melissa - posted on 11/23/2008
YES! I totally understand this problem. I'm 29 with a one year old but I still look very young. When I was trying to get pregnant with my son, I went to buy a pregnancy test. I was excited! The cashier looked at me then looked down and mumbled "babies having babies". I couldn't believe it. I was 28 years old for goodness sakes! People need to stop judging others. Needless to say, I was irrate and made a complaint to her manager who even looked at me like I was a teen mom too. But I feel where you're coming from. Just keep your head up and be a proud mommy and let those others go stick it somewhere!
Amanda - posted on 11/23/2008
I don't get what all those older women's problems are with young mothers (20's etc.). Once upon a time, EVERYONE married and had kids young. Once upon a time you were almost an old maid if you weren't married by the time you were 25. Both of my grandma's had their first in their early 20's within 2 years of getting married. I was born a couple of months after my mom's 20th b-day. My first was born a month before my 21st b-day. Having your first baby between 18 and 23 used to be the norm. Why does everyone want everyone else to wait until they're 30+ to have kids? The older you are when you have your first, the more chance of complications for both you and the baby there are.
Lynn - posted on 11/23/2008
I certainly got some of those looks especially when I had my daughter at 22--looks that said, ohh great, another teen mother, she probably single, on welfare, etc. I think a lot of our friends or people we know from work think that we are crazy to have given up our freedom so early to be parents-but I think what is right for one couple and 1 family may not be for the next, and I wish they were more respectful about that. I too have been out to dinner with my mother-in-law who is 48, and they think she is mom, and she politely thanks them for the compliments but corrects them that I am the mom. I have even had sales people at the door when I am standing there holding one of the kids, ask me if my mom is home. I think you have to learn to laugh at the ignorance and feel comforatble about the decision your family made. And I know for me, it has made me far more aware about my interactions with people-I would never want to make someone feel they way I have been made to feel by some individuals.
Ginger - posted on 11/22/2008
I am a 25 year mom of two wonderful kids.. My son 3 1/2 and daughter 1 1/2.. I would just like to say to you young moms.. at least we have the energy to keep up with our high energy filled kids, and are still able to act somewhat like a kid.. kids love moms who will play at their level with them and not tire so easily.. keep up the good work raising your kids, dont listen to what others have to say its not worth the time and effort
Tina - posted on 11/22/2008
I think that one of the reasons that people look down on younger women having children is because of all the young women in the media having children (Jamie Lynn Spears as an example) Having a baby has almost become a trend like the latest fashion style. I think some people are seeing young moms in this light that they do not really know what they are getting themselves into and that they just want to be "In Style". And while this (for most) is complete nonsense I think that people are seeing younger and younger moms all over the place and thinking that it is a trend. I have many friends around my age (I was not yet 20 when I had my daughter in January) that have kids and it is a going joke with the friends that do not have kids that they shouldn't drink the water. Teen pregnancy seems to be at an all time high and I think that older generations are picking up on this and might be worried that women are just having kids for the sake of having kids. While this might not make up for all the rude people out there I think that a good number of them are worried that young women do not know what they are getting into when they have kids.
Lisa - posted on 11/22/2008
I so agree with Christina. we all need to remember that we know how old we are and the important people in our lives do to..So who cares what other people say.. Our children are all loved and get what they need so lets just be happy that we don't look older then we are :)
Christina - posted on 11/22/2008
i had my oldest when i was 19, but looked about 15. after my husband and i divorced, i used to get comments, not to my face, but to the persons friend. i remember one time i was in the park with my son, and this lady said, rather loudly, about teen unmarried mums and how we should keep our legs shut! i was so annoyed, i said to my son rather loudly 'look up to heaven and say hello to daddy, you know he would be with us here if he could'. the look on this womans face was priceless. i walked away and laughed so much about it. fortunatly my son was only 18mths old, so hadnt a clue what i meant! my mum looks really young for her age, and when we go out with my children (others are 2 and 1), people assume she is the mum. she and i both take that as a compliment, means we can hold back on the botox for a few years yet lol. i kept in mind that when i got looks, i, and people i knew,knew the truth, and thats all that matters. dont let other people and their narrowmindedness ruin your day xx
Rebecca - posted on 11/22/2008
I completely agree. I got so many dirty looks when I was pregnant with my daughter. I looked about 16-17 but was actually 23! People make me so angry. If I had been a teen mom then it would have been nobody's business but my own! When I am with my mom people assume that I am a sister and my daughter is hers. Grr!
Melissa - posted on 11/22/2008
I have four kids and yes people always look at me funny i had my first at 19 i have also just married some one with 2 kids so we have six all together, Just took them all to the show here in ballarat australia and one of the people selling the show bags made a comment to me and my hubby told me to stop having so many kids i am just in it for the money , i just walk off upset my hubby told the lady were to go he said we love all our kids and if we were in it for the money we wouldnt have had kids coz they cost alot more than $5000 , that we get for the goverment i try not to worry about people like that now . I think yes i have alot of kids and i am young 29 years,but i look after them and they get everything they need so thats all that matters most of all they are loved.
Danielle - posted on 11/22/2008
i agree so much. i'm 28 and i have a 4mth old and 3 step kids aged 7, 5, and 4. when i pick them up from school or go down the street people look at me like i'm a baby machine. when i was pregnant i was down the street with all the kids and this lady come up to me and told me that i was only having kids for the money and that i should be having so many kids being so young. she wouldn't even listen to me. i wish some people would just keep their opinions to themselves.
Lisa - posted on 11/22/2008
Totally agree with everyone here..I'm 29 but look rather young..I have 3 kids 4.5, 2.5, and nearly 8 months and the looks i get really make me mad.... If I'm walking with my partner or my mum then people don't seem to care but as soon as I'm by my self they start.. there was 1 time i was walking in a shopping centre i had my 2 daughters in the pram and i was prego's with the 3rd when 2 younger ladies walked past they were talking to them selves saying "oh my god she has 2 and is prego again then they gave me the look.... Why do they do this doesn't it really bother them that much or do they think they are better then everyone us!! I'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made up saying... "I'm older then i look so get over it".. But then again i know so who cares what they think!!
Janalee - posted on 11/21/2008
I am almost 29 and have 3 children (9,2,1) When I had my oldest (9 years ago) I was 19 and look about 15! I remember all the dirty looks and remarks. One time a lady stopped me at the store and said "so what do you do with your baby when your at school - do you make your mom watch her??" I couldn't believe how rude! I simply responded "if you must know my husband watches her while I am at college" she imediately responded "what a cute little baby!" ---- ok so what? since I was married and in college my baby is cute and if I was young and in high school my baby isn't?? What the heck?? Anyway, I figured those days were over because nearly 10 years later after a divorse and remarried my new husband and I just had 2 babies back to back they are 2 1/2 and 15 months. Although I am nearly 29 now I still look about 22-23. The comments are still there but they are now a gasping remark like "wow look at you - you must have your handsfull - are those all yours - you're so young!!" I have a feeling that no matter what age you are - how many children you have - what you look like - where you go - and what you do .... there will ALWAYS be that person that has the need to voice there opinion of you. The best lesson we teach our children on issues like this (especially remarks that they whitness) is how we handle ourselves and giving a polite smile, tell the children to say hi to the very nice lady, and move on...
Jodie - posted on 11/21/2008
well i first fell preganant at 16 and was a mother at the tender age of 17 i do know thats young and i can kinda understand why people seemed kind of shocked but its not like i planned to fall preganant i did use protection it just didnt work and im now 22years old preganant with my 2nd child and i guess now im use to the stares and the lil sniggering comments but now ive relised im facing a new descrimmination when people ask me about my preganancy as i do look only bout 18 i answer then politely and tell them my real age then they seem to be okay until i get the dreaded question what are you hoping for and i say well my partner wants a boy and they say but he has one i then have to admite my first child has a different dad and people soon become very arrogant my son is 5years old ive been with my partner for 2 years and have known him for nearly 11 years so its not a rush decision im nota hussy and yet people think they have the right to judge me i know 40 year olds who have 4 kids to different dads and nobody seems to judge them....i think weither your a young mum or an older mum ,your still a mum you know how to protect your child and care for your child like nobody else can as saying goes mother knows best...im a great mum even if i did start young so please people dont judge mothers by there age but if your are going to judge ,judge them by the love and care that they give to there kids
Emily - posted on 11/21/2008
I agree with everyone here! There has been so many times I wanted to tell off the lady at the bank or the rude cashier at the grocery. I turned 21 when I was 9 months pregnant and the looks I got at the restaurant when I drank my only half glass of red wine! We also held off on the wedding... after all, 52% of all marriages in the US end in divorce and why spend so much money on a celebration when you can spread out the cost and enjoy time away every so often! Hang in there young moms - those gals are wishing they had our youth!
Jessi - posted on 11/21/2008
Yup!! im 21 and pregnatnt with my second. People have started saying things to me, or just looking at me rudely. Like for some reason they think ill be a bad mom or something. They know nothing about my life or why we chose to have kids so close or anything and they still judge. it pisses me off ALOT! i live in a small town, and my bf works all day so when i go grocery shopping or run errands of corse im alone with my daughter so they must think im single and "knocked up" again or something.
i guess what matters is that we ARE good moms! its just good to vent about people being rude.
Emily - posted on 11/21/2008
This thread just reminded me of a funny story. We're all talking about people giving us weird looks for having children "too young", but my mom often got looks for having children "too old". She had my youngest brother when she was 37, but she was already starting to go grey. The day we went to pick her up from the hospital, she was dressed and sitting on the couch waiting for us when a nurse walked in and said, "Oh good! Grandma came to visit." My mom was actually quite shocked and had to explain to the poor nurse that she was the one who had given birth 48 hours earlier. :)
Mirinah-leigh - posted on 11/21/2008
yes i get a lot of it, and if its not the looks and the comments its the way they speak to me. I am 25 unmarried but with someone and have 5 kids, we figure the cost of a wedding would put a lot of food on the table so we decided to hold off on it for a few more years. I notice i get a lot of attitude from the 30-40 yr age group that have children in the same age group as my oldest. A lot of the elderly people mostly congradulate me on being able to raise 5 kids mostly on my own as my bf works from before the kids get up and finishes around the time they go to bed, Just remember ladies to hold are heads high, we know and our children know that we are great mothers and that is all that matters, everyone else are just people we pass by in our every day lives and we may never see again
Autumn - posted on 11/21/2008
Speaking of not being good enough parents (or people who think we aren't). My closest gf in world got pregnant at 17 with at little boy. He is 8 years old now and one of the smartest most polite kids I have ever met! It is truly amazing how well behaved he is! She did an awesome job! I get most of my parenting advise from her.
Emily - posted on 11/21/2008
Seriously!! My SIL had her ring in the shop recently to get the prongs tightened, and got some pretty rude stares from some people (she's 7 months preggo with her first). She's also 23 and has been married for 2 years. I think a lot of people jump to conclusions too quickly and don't bother to find out the facts. Everyone makes mistakes when they're young... the consequences of those mistakes are a bit more obvious for some people... but once it's past, it's not the mistake that's the issue, it's what we choose to do with our lives after that we should be focused on.
Melissa - posted on 11/21/2008
It's so frustrating. I worked in a teacher educational resource store/toy store and i would ALWAYS get odd looks when i said that my daughter(who's four) loved a certain game or book. It's so frustrating. Before i was with my husband i had bought just a plain silver band to wear just to stop the looks adn the comments about me being young and single. I was 20 when i had her. And am now 24 with 2 kids, married and still get odd looks. If my mom goes anywhere with my daughter they think she's hers. It's frustrating to think that people assume we're all not good enough to be parents....
Carly - posted on 11/21/2008
I'm a single 22 year old mum of a four year old boy... i've acually had people say things to me about it... I was recently sitting having a coffee with some of my old highschool friends when an elderly lady says just loud enough for me to hear but not at me, "another teenage mother throwing her life a way, they don't make girls like they use to... and look no ring on her finger either, i never." Who are they to judge seriously, and i get rude looks all the time.... I'm just as good a mother as any one ten or fifteen years older than me ... it's not fair and they should all learn to keep their looks and opinons to them selves
Celina - posted on 11/21/2008
I find it really hard to go anywhere i am 23 and have 2 boys and when we do go places people are in shock, which is weird because most of these people that are staring are from a generation that was married and had kids way younger so i think that because most people are waiting to have kids that when they do see young people with kids they jsut arent used to it anymore.
Autumn - posted on 11/21/2008
I've always looked younger than my age. When I was 21 and preggers with my first, I got some nasty looks and comments. Now, I'm 26 and my kids act so good that most people assume I'm older than I am (and maybe I look older now). I have a fellow mom who is 9 years older than me, but our kids are the same age. She was shocked when she found out I was "only" 26. Makes me forget about all those judgmental losers and there comments 5 years ago.
Emily - posted on 11/21/2008
I kind of got used to the glares in high school. My youngest brother is 14 years younger than me, so when I got my license and started driving, my mom would send me to run errands with my brother. I got the rudest stares, and a couple rude comments... especially since my brother couldn't pronounce "Emily" yet, so he called me "Ah-mi" which sounds a lot like "mommy." I had to explain on many occasions that he was not my son... but I also used to talk to him and tell him very loudly, "Let's go find our mom" even if she wasn't in the store. :)
Now, I don't usually get glares, because I actually do look 25... but my husbands parents (who are 50 but look 35) have often been mistaken for my kids parents. Once someone thought my father-in-law was my husband, and my husband was even standing right next to me at the time. :)
Askim - posted on 11/21/2008
Unfortunatly I run into the same issue. I work in a toy store even and if I metion my daughter has an item I always get the sideways glare! I'm 23! It also bugs me when my 2yo daughter says,"Excuse me," to someone as she goes past in a store and SHE gets a dirty look! To quote you Pamela,"come on!" People just need to get over themselves.
Jen - posted on 11/21/2008
I have to say I am 25 and look like I am 17 or so and I have never gotten any rude looks. My son is extremely friendly and people seem to be drawn to him and I never get any kind of look. But that is just me and my son. I am not sure where you are from but I go everywhere with my little man and it is a great time with the exception of him wanting everything under the sun. Good luck with it.