Please Help

Kathryn - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

18

12

I have a problem with my in-laws smoking. First know that we only see them 1-2 times a month, but I don't feel that changes much.

They are very heavy smokers and they smoked around their children and in their house and are just very disrespectful about it. At the beginning of my pregnancy they would smoke sitting right beside me, so it got to the point that I just quit going to their home for months and they got the point and started going outside. However they smoke so heavily that going outside is simply not enough. My daughter is now one and I have only let them babysit her twice. Both times I had to wash EVERYTHING when she got home. Although they didn't smoke in the house while she was there they smoke so heavily that everything stinks, their walls, furniture, carpet. I even had to wash the extra clothes that didn't come out of the bag. I hate for her to go there because I feel like it is not at all healthy for her to breathe that. Everytime I go to their home I get a major headache! When they come to our house you can smell them as soon as they walk in. It is so strong that it literally makes me sick to my stomache. On top of all of this they don't wash their hands or let alone change their clothes before they hold my daughter. I read an article on third-hand-smoke and sent it to my mother-in-law. She became very defensive over it, but still did not get the point. It is so gross and unhealthy. If the smell of them bothers me that bad imagine how my poor baby feels when they pick her up and hold her and rub against her. I badly want to say something to them, but I just know it is going to start drama. And although I don't really care whether they like me because of it, I feel like it they get mad at me then it is going to cause problems between my husband and I. I feel like I am not doing the right thing for my daughter. Please give me your advice. This is an issue than bothers me very badly and it is time I deal with it!

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2 Comments

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Kathryn - posted on 04/26/2010

18

12

Thank you Sarah, you are right. I need to do what I think is best regaurdless of whose toes I step on. My in-laws and I had issues for some time and it put a strain on my marriage. Now I feel like if I say something to my husband he is going to think I am just picking at them. He knows this issue bothers me, I have just never mentioned that we should say something. Now I will! And if he can't say something to them then I suppose I will. Thank you for your input!

Sarah - posted on 04/26/2010

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2

I would say something! Why not? It's not there baby it's yours and if they can't accept how you feel and respect your opinon as a mother i just wouldn't go around them. I understand everyone is different. But when it comes to children it's not a game. Talk to your husband see what he says. If he doesn't think it matters then i would talk to them anyway. Your going to fight and have problems who doesn't that is married or in a relationship from time to time. i think this time it will be worth that fight. just go into it with a positive mind frame and know that everyone doesn't think the same way that you do.