Potty Training...

Leah - posted on 02/25/2011

im not saying that its tabo or horrible. its just severe flying out of a young childs mouth. i didnt choose to make that word shocking....but to some kids and parents it is. i just dont want my child looped in with the "potty mouth" kids. its sad, but thats the way it is. tell me your head wouldnt whip around if you were standing in line and a three year old yells out...my vagina itches ? come on. my little girl says "my parts itch" and it doesnt cause nearly the stir.

Shannon - posted on 02/23/2011

I want to say thank you to the comment about using correct terminology. As a fellow nurse, I agree with you. After all, it's a normal functional body just like every other normal functional body, not something taboo or dirty that needs to be given secret names to make it less horrible.

Shannon - posted on 02/23/2011

I think the first good advice I ever got was that no child goes to kindergarten in diapers unless there is a medical reason. That helped me to relax enough to let it happen as it needed to, naturally. Every child is different in when they are ready. There's this big society push that it has to be by a certain age, but quite frankly not all children are ready by a magic number. My older daughter has a medical condition and she was fully daytime potty trained by 2 but to this day has problems at night if she forgets to take her bladder relaxer. My middle daughter trained herself in one day because it was getting close to the end of Christmas vacation for my older daughter and she thought that if she was using the potty she could go to school also. She potty trained herself on Saturday and was ready for school Monday morning. Kind of put me in a pickle but we looked for a preschool for her that day. My son is currently 3. He thinks that if he is going both poop and pee in the big potty he will be able to get a Thomas back pack he wants because back packs are meant for school and boys in diapers don't go to school. So he tries, but he's not real successful yet. He will go on his own when he wakes up and he likes to go before bedtime like his sisters. Other than that it's really hit or miss depending on the day's dynamics. Working full time, it isn't always easy to be consistent between the babysitter and myself. It's not unusual for me to come home to have to wash all 12 pairs of underwear and it's a real treat to come home to find I only have to wash 1 pair. However, he has the basic concept. He knows the feeling. That is half the battle. I refuse to punish him for getting distracted and piddling himself because he's upset enough when he does it. I just matter of factly say ok lets get you clean and dry because this pee is bad for your skin. Period, the end. He'll get the hang of it. He'll figure it out just like his sisters did. Not good for you or him if you are stressed about it. It sends a very negative message and they are going to have enough years ahead of them where they feel like failures. I'm not interested in starting that message at age 3 by the person that's suppose to be his safe person. However, know also that different techniques work for different kids and some kids do respond better to punishment. I just know that I do not and therefore only punish my children for things they truly deserve to be punished for such as dangerous behavior. Oh, also, I got him tons of Thomas underwear because that's his favorite and it encouraged him to even try in the first place and we do use pull ups at night and 9 times out of 10 the pull ups are dry and he goes potty in the morning. It's during the distracting part of the day that both of us lose focus. Again, I can't punish him when I, myself get easily distracted. Oh, shiny! What was I saying again? Oh, and to combat the peeing all over, I used my aunt's trick. I make him sit backward so it has no choice but to go in the toilet unless we are at a store or something and I make him stand up so he doesn't touch a dirty public toilet. Love that boys can do that because it grosses me out for my girls to touch dirty public toilets no matter how much lining I use.

Rosalia - posted on 02/23/2011

Candace,
I have a little boy who just turned 3 in Jan. Potty training is very hard. His dad is around but works an awful lot so I am taking on all of the potty training.

I had the same problem with him peeing all over. I got him to lean over some and that did the trick. But have him pee standing up as much as you can. It is so much easier.

We use pull ups. They work like underwear but if you don't have the time or energy to keep up with him and he has an accident, they are great. My trick is I use them like underwear. I never lie him down to change him. These are not diapers in his mind. But I do try to have him in underwear as much as possible. Every 30 minutes to the potty is a good idea but don't keep him there too long. I would say 5 minutes. If he goes, he goes. Praise him. We have a sticker chart. Every time he goes in the potty, a sticker, a poop is worth 2 stickers. A full chart is worth, a new little, I mean little, toy (match box) or a small treat ( a few M&M's) or a book (we have a great used bookstore in town and I can get books really cheap).
If he does not go, start the timer again and have him move on with his day. If he has an accident, go to the bathroom and change him there. Explain that he needs to try to get it "all out in the potty".

As for your third concern, have you talked to his doctor about this? Have you tried to stop drinking an hour before bedtime? Is he warm enough?

Most of all, find something that works for you. Listen to the advice but don't feel like you are punishing your child. My little boy starts to cry every time I ask him to go use the potty first thing in the morning. But once he is there with a book or a toy his is fine. He goes, washes his hands and comes to breakfast.

I have to keep reminding myself, he is only 3. Boys are just that way. My daughter was potty trained a 18 months. It is just the way it is.

Have a great day and keep being the great mom you are.

Rosa

Jennifer - posted on 02/22/2011

I have potty trained 4 boys without my husband's help by the way. The best way for me and my boys was...I let them go without any underwear or anything. The first few times they peed and pooped on the floor (disgusting, I know but I made them help clean it up) I talked to them about where the pee and poop is supposed to go. When it was nap time or we had to go somewhere, i would put pull-ups on them. Once we started potty training we didn't go back to diapers. I was consistent, No going back and forth. It just confuses them. The other thing I did was...I had a jar in the bathroom that had M&Ms in it. When they went pee they got one and when they went poo, they got two. I had to take them potty every hour for a while but then they got used to it and started telling me but it took a while. It doesn't happen that they can go potty by themselves all at once. The other thing that helps with boys is putting Cheerios or something like that in the toilet so he can aim at them. If he makes a mess, make him help clean it up. They need to learn that anyway. Hope that helped.

Leah - posted on 02/22/2011

i had to laugh a little at the comment about not being afraid to call it a penis. my son knows what his penis is called. but we call it something a little less dramatic. its not a dirty word BUT it is a severe word for a young boy. nothing like having your son use the correct term for it in kindergarden and a bunch of wide eyed looks from peers and giggles from girls to make him feel weird. another thing...its never fun to be in public and have your son yell my PENIS IS HARD ! i need to pee !!!!! id much rather it go something like...my guy needs to go to the bathroom. doesnt draw near the attention. again, i agree, you should know thet terms however the rest of the world has made that word dirty. its a shame but thats how it is. there aare so many other situations i can think of but that was one..

Angel - posted on 02/22/2011

i have two boys that were very easy to potty train 2nd one isnt even 3 yet been potty trained for yr.. what i did was let them pee outside and start them out peeing standing... try to put like cherios in toilet to aim at or something.. sec.. with my first son he wanted a cup to go to bed at night for a while then i figured out that i try to make him drink the cup first then make him go pee like half hr later then bed.. he wet a few times.. sec. son has wet bed once .. maybe if u cant get cup away just put a tiny bit in it.. maybe leave bathroom light on at night..or potty chair next to his bed??..

Fern - posted on 02/22/2011

First 3 if not that old for boys to potty train. Potty training is a neurological development and most boys are not ready physically until they are at least 3. Do NOT push him. He will do it when ready. You mentioned that you and his father are no longer together and if you broke up recently, this could cause him to regress and not be ready. If the break up wasn't recent, but there is tension this too could cause him to regress. Be patient with him, he will want to potty train in his own time.

As far as wetting during the night, I have the same problem with my son and many boys potty train during the day, but don't train at night for months or even a year or more later. There is no need to potty train at night at the same time as the day time. In fact, I wouldn't advise it. I would start with day time training and not consider night training until he is totally trained during the day.

As far as holding down his penis, he either needs to let you do it, do it himself, or he needs a potty or seat adaptor with a guard on it. They make the seat adaptors with guards that go on the front for a boy. If you can't find one in a local store, then look online.

I also want to advise you to use the proper names for his genitals. There is nothing embarrassing about calling it a penis, that is after-all what it is! He needs to know the proper names. Trust me, he will learn every slang in middle school. He needs to hear the right names from you.

You need to buy either night-time diapers for him or night-time pullups. They make pullups for boys at all ages. my son is 4 and has been putty trained during the day for a year, but still wears a pullup at night. He's just not ready to get up during the night. If I let him sleep in underwear, then I am doing sheets every single day and it makes no difference in whether he gets up to go potty at night or not. I know he will do it in time. He's my 4th boy, so I have been through this before. They make night-time pullups. One is called Goodnights made by Huggies, but these cause rashes in most kids. The other one is called Underjams are they are made by Pampers. They both come in two sizes, small (38-65 lbs) and large (65-125). My son weighs 55 lbs, but he wears the size large. They are more absorbent, but I also think their size estimates are off so just keep that in mind.

I would also suggest taking him shopping and letting him choose a potty, one with a guard on it. Walmart carries a cool frog potty that is two pieces that doesn't need a guard. If you could get him to use one like that, it would be the best option. Then you don't have to worry about him holding his penis down, most 3 year olds won't!

Hope this helps. Feel free to email me if you have further questions or need help. I am a nurse and the mother of 4 boys. I have right much experience with this issue!

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011

concern 1- cheerios. get him a small stool if he needs and put a few cheerios in the toilet bowl, make a game of it and tell him to aim for the cheerios, give him an m&m for every 'target' he hits. concern 2- make it positive, have him try if he hasnt peed in a half hour or so, but dont force it. if he has an accident just say 'oops! next time we'll try to get to the toilet sooner" no guilt if its not intentional. its like learning to drive for them, soon it will be second nature, and they will just automatically head to the bathroom when they feel they need to go. 3rd concern, i wouldnt worry too much, my daughter is 3 1/2 and is still in pull ups at night. I tried to let her go with out but she woke up 4 times wet in one night, and she has been potty trained since she was 2. if you are trying to break him of his cup, try cuddling with him while he has it then laying him in bed when he is drowsy, but not asleep. if he has a soother you could try holding the soother while he has his cup, but 'trade' for the soother so he gives up the cup before going to sleep.

Leah - posted on 02/22/2011

My little guy and my daughter were potty trained by 20 months...heres how we did it :)
for concerns with him peeing everywhere....get him a step stool and teach him to sit when he pees. we tell our son "point him down buddy"....the yare bound to make a mess untl they learn....or you can put cheerrios in the toilet for target practice :)
dont leave him 2 cry...your right. if he doesnt have 2 go applaud his effort. has an accident, tell him to try better next time. getting frustrated does nothing.
once you start underwear you cant go back 2 diapers. they like diapers and if he kknows there is a chance you will return to them if he fails, he wont really try that hard.
make him pee right b4 bed. give him 1/2 cup water and tell him when its gone its gone, he will learn 2 ration :)

Jenny - posted on 02/22/2011

1st - Try teaching him to pee standing up. My son took to it so much faster than anything else when it come to potty training. He actually prefers it. but when it comes to pooping you would probably figure out his signals for pooping (if you don't already know them) and when you see him giving the signal 'strongly encourage' 2nd - If you are already having success with potty training but not continuous, i would recommend jsut putting him in underwear and just 'encouraging' him to try to potty, but if he says that he does not need to go, than he does not need to go. 3rd - I do recommend eliminating the night time cup, and you can do this just by giving him less and less amounts until he does not need it anymore. Also they do make night time pull ups and diapers that have a higher absorbancy. I use those on my son who is potty trained through the day but not while sleeping. Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 02/22/2011

Hi!
My son will be 3 in August and he is almost completely potty trained. He has a few accidents, but he just had a 2 week stretch with NO accidents; including poop.
We started with the 3 day potty training. We basically found 3 days that I had avaiable in a row and stayed home the entire home. I also have a 1 year old daughter to deal with as well, just FYI. I read that you should prepare ahead of time, so I bought carpet cleaner, had plenty of clean wash cloths and towels avaiable...But, it worked great and was a huge jump start to potty training.
Have you tried a potty seat with a pee guard. They make potty seats just for boys and they help with the peeing all over the place. My son prefers to pee standing up, so we got a step stool and put it in the potty so he can reach the potty standing up. Also, we put a potty seat in his room (with a boy guard). Kinda gross, but it allows for quick pee trips after naps and in the morning. Lastly, we put him in underwear and ONLY occasionally in pull-ups when we are out of the house for long periods of time. In the begining, we went thru maybe 5-10 pair of underwear a day, so we bought several packs. Putting him in underwear before he was potty trained REALLY helped him become aware of when he was peeing and yes he did have accidents, but we were prepared for that and potty training him at 2 1/2 with a few weeks of accidents was well worth it compared to buying diapers for he next six months.
Hope at least some of this helps you!

Kiaya - posted on 02/22/2011

3daypottytraining.com LOVE IT. you day and night train at the same time. Just do exactly what she tells you to do it is sooo worth it!

Shawna - posted on 02/22/2011

Candace,


At night I would still put overnight diapers on him but during the day I would not put underwear on him but big boy training pants. All children are different so when he is ready he is ready don't rush him. Go at his speed not yours. I know it is hard but he will eventually.


ShawnaM

Christine - posted on 02/22/2011

Hey Candace, my son will be turning 3 in june and being a single mom isnt easy. I've tried the potty thing with him got him big boy underwear and he wants nothing to do with it. Some days he will go to the potty and for the next 3 weeks wants nothing to do with it. Don't stress it when he is ready he will go. Some catch on quicker than others so dont stress i'm sure you're doing a great job.

Shona - posted on 02/22/2011

Don't worry and stress too much or your little guy will start to pick up on it and get freaked out.



Don't worry about the age either, kids will potty train when they are ready. I didn't even think about potty training my son until he turned 3 because he wasn't ready (my daughter was potty trained before 2 because she was ready).



If you're going to put him straight into underpants (and it does work sometimes, I wouldn't throw the nappies out though, just in case), don't put trousers on him (just keep him in underpants) as that makes them feel too "secure" as though they were wearing a nappy - this is definitely something for warmer weather, or make sure the room/ house is warm so he doesn't get cold.



Some people like to teach their son to pee standing up while others go for sitting down first. We went for sitting down first, as it's easier if they need to poo too!! We used the freshening toilet discs that stick to the side of the toilet and told my son to aim for that, although it was easier without the little seat for the toilet as there was less spraying!! We put the discs further down, closer to the water when he started standing to pee and told him to aim for them. If you can incorporate a bit of fun into this routine then he might find it a bit like a game. It can be hard sometimes, but so long as you're calm, it will take the "pressure" off him and he'll relax.



He will get it, some kids get it quicker than others, but they all get it in the end. I wouldn't worry about the night time routine just yet, get the daytime sorted first and then worry about the night. Changing too much of his routine all at once could be very distressing for him and just adding to the problem. Other than that it sounds like you're doing a really good job. Best of luck xx

Meagan - posted on 02/21/2011

I've been otty training my son for over a month and we dont have it down perfectly yet. Dont stress he will sense it and really fight you. I had the same problem with my son "pointing down" the deflector just made it spray everywhere and he wouldnt alway point down and many times have used my hand to shield myself from his hose. He now pees standing up. It was difficult at first but we used cheerios and he has to try and sink them he has fun with it and most of them time we get it all in the potty. good luck

Tabitha - posted on 02/21/2011

Hey Candace,
I know how tough it is to potty train a little guy its really tough but its something that has to be done. With your first concern with aiming of the little guy. I was told by many of my older family members to try to put cherrios or foot loops in the potty to have him aim at it as a game but as i found out that he thought it was funny to put toys and etc in the tiolet so I used a regular old piece of tp and put it in the tiolet and told to pee all over it and make it sink. He loved it, he thought it was cool he could sink the tp. With your second concern what I did was kept using pull ups onloy when I wasn't home or at night. I bought "big boy undies" for him and told him not to get them all dirty because they would be sad. I bought him his favorite characters (spongebob, toy story, wonder pets). Don't get me wrong it took a good couple months from the starting point of buying the undies to him officialy not pee his pants at least once a day. I found that my guy would be more worried about playing then anything. Third concern, abvousily you already know what your main goal you said it yourself lol(not putting him down with a cup) gradually give him smaller amount closer to his bedtime. The best thing for you to do is make all of this fun for him. Tell him its time for "sippy's" bedtime too. Tak him with you to wash him and out him away in his bed say good night ,just like you would your son. The more fun things are the more they will want to do it. Pull ups has a great info page with the potty dance which my son did not take to but it works for others check it out. I hope something from someone helps you out in some way. Good luck we all need it lmao

Emma - posted on 02/21/2011

my youngest son turned 2 last day of dec an is toilet trained during the day. we let him have access to the toilet anytime no stairgates in the way let them explore and see other family members using it he eventually wanted to sit on it and when he did do anything we over praised his actions and got my older son who has just turned 4 nov to tell him that he was a really clever boy and that he was so big and good etc it help to encourage him we then took him shopping for new pants and clothing to wear but he had to keep them dry. let them choose to stand or sit anything they want to do to keep the bathroom exciting. good luck you will have it to a fine art in a few month x

Alda - posted on 02/20/2011

Our twin girls are 2 1/2 and we're going to do the 'Potty training in 3 days' next week when my partner has the week off. I'm using positive thinking and have convinced myself it's going to work lol :-)

Janet - posted on 02/20/2011

Don't fret over it, My granddaughter is 3 and will be 4 in August yet she still is not trained. She knows about the potty and has gone in it several times but will not do it on her own. Her parents have tried everything. My grandmother told me years ago they will go when they are good and ready. Relax take one step at a time. It will happen. I found my boys were much easier to train than my daughter ever was. You have to be very patient and understanding with them. It will all work out.

Elfrieda - posted on 02/16/2011

I've seen potty seats that go over the regular toilet seats and they have a guard at the front to catch any sprays.

I'm going to teach my son to sit down to pee, too. I've heard of horror stories of the lid coming smashing down on their little private parts while they stand to pee... no thanks!

Sharlie - posted on 02/16/2011

Its easier to get the daytime cracked first, try teaching him to stand up to wee, its far easier for boys! you can buy these balls that go in the tiolet, they float on the water so you can teach him to aim for the balls! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Target-Infant-To...

I wouldnt even bother with the potty if he doesnt like it, my little boy hated the potty but was quite happy sat on the big boys toilet!

With my son, I accidently potty trained him one day. I ran out of nappies so put some big boy pants on him, I explained to him they were for big boys and that he couldnt wee in them! I then took him to town (with a few spare pairs of trousers) to choose some pants. He chose his own pants and I told him he couldnt wee in them and he didnt! I kept taking him to the toilet, even if it was in a back lane through town and i tought him to stand up to wee!!

Cut down his night cup until he has nothing after 6pm, then use training pants on him, you can get ones that feel wet when they wee in them, unlike nappies which are made to feel dry so he will feel uncomfortable.

Another tip is, if he wee's in his pants, dont change him straight away, let him feel that its uncomfortable so he doesnt want to wee in them!

good luck x

Brandee - posted on 02/16/2011

I used the 3 day potty training ebook tha tyou can find online. At 22 months we threw out all diapers and used only underwear.. That was in May 2010.. On day 2 my son pooped in the potty and has continued to poop in the potty.. Peeing is another story.. The technique recommends day and night training.. We tried the night training for a couple of weeks, but I could never pin point when to wake him, so we use pull ups for sleeping ONLY.. I keep a cup of water on his dresser in his room and he gets a sip before bed.. He does excellent at school.. He will go potty all on his own.. They have a miniture adult potty (wish I had one at home).. He needs no assistance.. At home he goes on the big potty or stands on a stool in front of it.. I ask him which he wants to do and he tells me stand or sit.. If he sits he pushes his parts below the deflector that is built onto his little seat.. If he stands I help him aim because our toilet is tall.. However, this is usually after I have notice that he already dribbled in his underwear.. We try using rewards that I bought from the dollar store (everything is $1 and they have brand name character merchandise).. If he goes all day on the toilet he gets to pick a prize at bath time and he puts a sticker on the calendar.. He doesnt tell us at home that he has to pee for some reason, so we are trying to do what we can to motivate him.. However, if he does pee or dribble in his pants he get a 2 minute time out.. If he does it more than once he loses a toy for the evening.. The best advise is to be consistent.. Forcing him on the potty didn't work for us, so we changed our approach.. Worst case scenario is that he pees in his underwear.. It is disappointing but not a REAL big deal.. You just clean it and move on.. Just be consistent.