Preparing my 19month old for the arrival of the new baby

Kasie - posted on 05/06/2010

My oldest daughter was 19 months old when our second daughter was born. When I was in the hospital, my husband took our oldest to the store and let her pick anything out that she wanted...that present was from the new baby. When I came home from the hosital, honestly, there was no difference in the way our oldest acted. We had to watch because she would try and feed the baby. The first time you take them both to the grocery store by yourself, don't be surprised if you get upset. It was months before I would take them both to the store by myself. It was just too hard. We had more jealousy problems with our oldest daughter and my mom with the new baby. She could have cared less when my husband or myself was spending time with the baby. Also,some people might think it's rude, but if anyone called to tell me that they were coming to visit the new baby, I asked them to pick a little something up for our oldest, or to not let her see a gift. When they are that young, the whole gift thing could upset them. But we were lucky, anyone who came to see the baby, came baring gifts for both girls. Then while company was oohing and ahhing over the baby, she would be checking out her new things. I find myself having more problems now that they are older(the oldest is almost 3 and the "baby" is almost 16 months) because they fight over toys and things like that. Trust me, you will be fine. It just seems overwhelming to think about it, but within a few weeks, it's like second nature. Now that our youngest is 15 months old, we are thinking about a third.

Valerie - posted on 05/04/2010

I had two twenty two months apart...the biggest concern was safety due to the older one being curious and trying to get in crib, tipping bassinet etc to see...they liked each other...being organized and keeping it simple to manage both

Jennifer - posted on 05/04/2010

my first baby was 18 months when my second child was born. at first she was very good with her wanting to hold her and no one else to have her. she is still doing great but is now going through jealousy issues. i cant hold her without my first daughter trying to push her out my hands.i think every child adapts to things differently

Brandi - posted on 05/03/2010

it was hard at first but hang in there. it just takes coulpe of months after the baby is born.

Leah - posted on 04/29/2010

there is 2 years 3 months between my two. I have always been a stay at home mom so my daughter wasnt use to sharing me at all. I talked to her alot about her baby brother and bought her a boy baby doll a couple months before he was born. she loves to do what mommy does. I also had her talk to him while he was in my tummy. she loved it. every time she talked to him he would move and I would let her feel it. when my husband brought her into the room to meet her baby brother she was so in love. she would tell everyone who held him to be carefull cuz he is my baby brother. they have always been very close and when they wake up in the mornings they are so excited to see each other. while most of the time they do play very well with each other they still fight mainly over toys ever now and again its cuz they both want to be held at the same time ( they don't like to share my lap). the baby brother doll worked real well she would change his diaper and feed it when I fed Zander. letting her help out with getting a diaper or handing me wipes and getting a toy for him helped her alot to. I wish you the best of luck.

Schyla - posted on 04/29/2010

Jessica, Mom's are amazing creations I too worried about how I was going to make it work with two but once she was here we just made it work... I look at moms with more then two and I am amazed at how they do it and when you ask you'll get a look like your nuts I am always told you just do. So relax your figure it out May I sugest that you buy her her very own baby and save it for the hospital when she comes to see her little brother have her baby in the bassinet with him and then give her her very own baby to love and care for (this works with big brothers too!) We did this with our oldest and she would nurse and change her baby at the same time I did we gave her a little diaper bag and car seat and a stroler and she took care of her baby while mommy took care her baby. another thing see if you can't baby sit a friends baby for an evening just for a few hours see how she handles that she'll probably be so thrilled most little ones love babies (sometimes TOO MUCH) try and relax your mommy instincts will kick in and you'll be amazed at what you can do.

Jennifer - posted on 04/29/2010

My daugher was 2.5 when her brother was born. We prepared her alot and she came to all of my ultrasounds and most of my Dr. appointments. She even came to the hospital with us to help check me in. She was the first one to hold her brother (besides me and my husband) and when we brought him home, if she wanted to help, she did. I think the hardest part was just finding time to spend with her and reminding her that she is still just as special so that she wouldn't feel left out.

Brittany - posted on 04/29/2010

My boys are 15 months and 1 day apart. : ) I had problems with my oldest for probably about a month after his brother was born...but that was because i was put on bedrest since 31 weeks so there was like 5 weeks where i couldnt pick him up and even once i could it hurt! so he was of course upset that mommy had not paid as much attention to him for 2 months and then i brought home this strange baby that cried. lol. they are now 25 months and 10 months and absolutely the best of friends! : ) my youngest is crawling now so they chase each other all over the house and play together really well. of course every once in a while they will argue over toys, but right now i am watching them talk and play together...and it is the sweetest thing ever!!! it will be hard to start, but truthfully it is all how you approach it...

Gwen - posted on 04/28/2010

My first born was 15 months when the new baby arrived in the house. My oldest didn't like the attention the new baby was getting. For now, we have to keep them apart until the new baby is bigger.

Shannen - posted on 04/28/2010

My kids are 21 months apart and since day 1 they have gotten along excellent. They do fight now he bites her and she smacks him for it. They argue over toys and all the normal children things to do but they do play together still and usually its really good. I am finding it hard cause he is now 21 months and he just doesnt understand sharing to well yet.

The only thing i had to contend with was when i was in hospital with my daughter she wouldnt eat for her dad or grandparents and was complaining of a sore mouth the whole time even though there was nothing there.

But from the moment we brought our son home she was brilliant if he cried she was so loving and comforted him. She came to every Dr appointment with me and we tried to keep her as involved as possible and i guess it worked. I am pregnant with our 3rd now and she is so excited about another baby but it could be very different this time cause she knows what is in store now!

Good luck with it, It takes time and patience but it is worth it in the end.

Jessica - posted on 04/28/2010

My daughter will be the same 22 months. She goes to daycare now, where I also work and she loves playing with the other kids and does so good playing nice, not hitting etc but does get super jealous if I hold other kids and stuff like that so im worried with the initail jealousy. She rubs my belly and says "baby" and gives him kisses but I know she has no idea a real live brother is coming out and coming to stay so it will be a whole nother dynamic once he's here.

Im scared about how busy my life is going to be with a toddler and an infant. My daughter now is on such a good set routine Im afraid of her losing the stability and regressing with the baby taking over the house.

How do you find time in the day for work, household chores, mommy time, and giving each child individual quality time? I feel so busy all the time with only one child! Her dad works long hours so its me getting her to daycare, coming home and we have about 4 hours til her dad gets home in which we play do dinner etc. But esentially its all on my shoulders during the work week.

Any suggestions?? LOL I feel like im in panic mode like how is this ever going to work? Not enough hours in the day!!

Schyla - posted on 04/28/2010

My Girls are 2 years apart by about 12 days. and we never had any trouble at first they always played together nicely My oldest daughter Loves being a big sister and she even taught her little sister to use the potty. NOW however I'm having a HUGE issue with fighting and hair pulling spiting and hitting the two of them are going to drive me crazy! For the most part they get along just fine They really love each other and are best friends and this faze will end. My Sisters kids however a boy first and a girl second are 19 months apart and at first he was a little brute but now they are great friends it's all in how you handle things when (and they will) they flare up My sister would lavish love on the baby when her son would hit or poke her in the eye and put her son in time out and then she'd explain that hurting sister wasn't nice and make him say he was sorry this seemed to work she disciplined him by not giving him attention no matter how loud he screamed or what he did she just loved on the baby kissed her lots and lots and then calmly made him apologize the other thing she did was praise him when he behaved nicely with his sister over the top praising (That's such a nice way to treat your sister your such a nice big brother!) it seemed to work for her kids as he is a wonderful big brother who won't let anyone hurt his baby sister.

Rebecca - posted on 04/28/2010

My son was 22 months when our daughter was born and i think the first 2 weeks were the hardest. We let him talk to my belly and say good night and stuff but once she was here, he didn't really get it. He would try to climb on my lap still while i was trying to nurse so i could read him a book so we would just sit him next to me and i would read it like that. My husband was gone for 1 month when our son turned 2yrs and our daughter was just 3 months and it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. However, she is now 9.5 months and he is 2.5yrs and man oh man...his attitude has changed so much. He kicks her, hits her, pushes her over, runs his cars over him(like the one's they sit on and drive around) and he pulls her around everywhere. I find that since she has become more mobile and want's to play with him and his things this is when it all started. It's very stressful during the day and when i discipline him he just laughs which drives me nuts. I know it will get easier with the age and he is just going through a faze and who knows, he probably would have started doing these same things whether i had her or not.

The best thing i can say is, don't be scared to ask for help with 2 young ones in the house. The biggest challenge i had was the first few months when she was in her infant seat i didn't go anywhere without my husband and still i don't like to, our son is a runner and i'm terrified he'll get hit...

Take it one day at a time, take you time EVERY DAY! I take it every other now and i go to the gym...might not be relaxing but hey at least i get out of the house lol.

Good luck and congrats!!