Proper Birthday Party Manners??!!

Camille - posted on 06/16/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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It seems eveytime we attend a childs Birthday Party my Daughter (4) and Son(2) are all over the child while opening presents. Even helping unwrap, and just right in the middle of everything. I was wondering is this ok? Should I keep them in their seats? Or let them "help" and be nosy?? Please let me help...considering we have a party for the next 2 weekends!! Haha! Thanks:)

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Helen - posted on 06/17/2009

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most parties we have gone to the child opens the presents when everyone has gone as when your 3 year old holds up the toy that her best friend has carefuly chosen and announces "already got that one" it can kind of spoil the day. I would say hold the kids back until all the unwrapping is done - they can look at the toys afterwards.

Jamie - posted on 06/17/2009

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Amie, I think your right if a child asks the other children it is then ok. However, for a child to just jump in there is totally unacceptable. And for a parent to sit and watch thier child misbehave shows a lack of maturity in that parent or parents.

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Renee - posted on 06/18/2009

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I completely agree with you Jamie. I was at a good friend of mines child's B-Day party and while the little girl (turning 4) was opening up her presents there were two little boys (brothers) that were trying to open them for her practically. I could barely contain myself. I wanted so bad to pull the kid back a little bit. Then you look over and the mom is just sitting on the couch watching this. Then the same little boy freaked out that she got a soccer ball and took it outside and played with it. I mean come on at least let her play with it first. Then like 5 min later the little girl was all where's my ball. Of course this woman's 3 kids were total terrors the whole time at the party, ripping down decorations and one sneaked in the kitchen and started eating the cake before there were even candles on it!!! Sorry got off on a tangent there but that sort of thing really bothers me.

Jamie - posted on 06/18/2009

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Sorry Im human and all humans judge at one point or another. And to me a parent that cant control thier child shows a lack of proper parenting. If that child was parented properly they wouldnt be acting that way. A child should be taught respect and to respect other people and other peoples things. Even at 3 a child can do this, I know because I have 2 that have no problem sitting and watching another child open gifts. Yes they get excited and ohh and ahh and I want that, but they do this while still allowing the birthday child to enjoy thier birthday. Ive seen kids open packages and start playing with toys and things get lost or broken and by your account this is ok for a child to help because its fun. Im sorry its rude, its not thier toy, its not thier birthday and if the birthday child does not invite them tohelp they shouldnt. Maybe Im wrong maybe Im used to order and dont put up with choas or misbehaving children.

Natalie - posted on 06/18/2009

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I think that it is natural for a child to want to be involved in the party. I have a 3 year old daughter who also loves birthday parties (of course) and she has a couple of times got upset that the presents are not for her and that she cant open them (as kids that age dont understand) Now i talk to my daughter before we go to the party and remind her that it is the other childs present but she can be in charge of giving the child the present (so she feels special and involved). However, although it may be rude for the child to jump right in and help unwrap presents etc. I think that a spoilt child who wont let anyone join in thier excitment of opening presents etc. isnt a good lookl.

I also dont think this forum is designed for people to say that ANYTHING shows a "lack of proper parenting" You shouldnt be here to judge!

Jamie - posted on 06/17/2009

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She wasnt talking about older kids she said her kids were 2 and 4. And older kids should have been taught to show respect for someone elses birthday. And yes the kids who are totally spoiled I hate that too. Also shows a lack of proper parenting.

Amie - posted on 06/17/2009

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Jamie, I don't see even how the parents play into the older kids parties. Not a single parent ever stays at them, not the ones I've been to and not the ones my kids have had. For younger kids (under the age of 5) then yes parents are there. Kids aren't misbehaving if the kids don't mind help. I've watched kids sit there and go ok yes you can help here, then hand them a present or hold out the one they are working on for a kid to tear. I've also seen kids freak out so damn bad doing... my present! this my day! my mommy said!... gimme a break. I'd rather have kids who are willing to share than little brats like that. Mine also have manners and respect though, if someone doesn't want their help they are ok with it. They sit down and watch.

Amie - posted on 06/16/2009

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This depends on a few things. Some parents (like the ones who have posted) will get upset over this issue thinking it's taking away from their kids day. If the kids aren't bothered by it though it really isn't a big deal.
Our kids don't mind little ones coming over to help them open presents. Our oldest will ask the young kids to come help her so they are involved and not bored.
Yes it is their birthday, yes it is special, yada yada yada... if the kids don't mind don't worry about it. It's the kids day not the parents.
If you feel or know the kid will get upset explain to them to just watch and clap their hands or something for their friend/family member. =) Always worked for us. Of course your two year old you will probably need to keep in your lap for something like that. They don't quite comprehend the entire idea behind it and just want to join in the fun. =)

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Quoting Jamie:

Ugh, Im sorry but I think its totally rude. To me it shows a parent cant control thier child. The day is for the child whos birthday it is, not your children.



Hi,



Yes, I agree with Jamie. Try & explain to your kids why they shouldn't do it...perhaps ask them how they would feel if another child was opening their birthday presents. Good Luck :)

Kimberly - posted on 06/16/2009

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When my now 4 year old turned 2 we had a birthday party for her and all our friends and family were there. When it was time to sing happy birthday and for her to blow out the candles there was a little boy (the son of a very good friend of mine) he not only blew out the candles he put his fingers in the cake (before we were even able to cut it) he pulled off the little plastic toys and wouldn't give them back to my daughter. I was so upset that the parents didnt keep their children back and let my daughter enjoy her cake. it totally ruined it for me.

Veronica - posted on 06/16/2009

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Letting them behave this way now, is only going to open it up to invade in others privacy later. Not teaching them boundaries isnt a cool idea. I have five children - I dont even allow them to help each other open gifts - I want them to each feel special with their things and their special day or time. And i tell them when their birthday will be, and when it arrives they have their own special time as well. How would you honestly feel if it was your own children's b-day and someone else's kids were in there tearin it up? It just takes the surprise away, im sorry -- it really truly is RUDE.

Jamie - posted on 06/16/2009

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Ugh, Im sorry but I think its totally rude. To me it shows a parent cant control thier child. The day is for the child whos birthday it is, not your children.

Leigh - posted on 06/16/2009

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Hi Camille,



I think it depends on the child whose birthday is being celebrated. As a general rule I would say they shouldn't be in there unwrapping, but clearly they are just excited and want to be involved. Why not try giving them a helpful task instead? Have one collect all the bows and ribbons from the presents as they are unwrapped to give to the birthday child after they are done unwrapping. Maybe your daughter could hand the presents to the child. You definitely don't want them taking away the kid's special moment of unwrapping presents, but they can still be involved in a fun and exciting way!



Hope this helps, good luck at the parties!

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