PTA: Do you ever get the feeling your looked at "different"

Rebecca - posted on 02/23/2010

O Yea, I know exactly what you mean mate. I've just turned 30 but had my oldest son when I was 19. I avoided going to playgroups and things like that because of what everyone else thought. Looking back now I wish I had of held my head high and got in there for Jacobs sake. I have a 3 year old daughter as well now and I take her to everything. I really dont care what other mums think. If they have a problem they can just build a bridge and get over it. I believe there is no perfect age for having kids and anyone can be a great mum no matter what age. Dont let anybody make you feel low, I bet your a great mum. I think young mums are the best and quite often they get in there and play much more than older mums who would rather sit in their rocking chairs and sip their coffee. LOL.

Yolanda - posted on 02/23/2010

Yes! go Renee! Thats how i feel and i think the fact that i may have said that "not in so many words" but i think the other moms see me as being ummm to strong willed. for lack of a more appropriate word. I am just out spoken im mire apt to ask vs. speculate and i think i catch them off guard when they are trying to be snarky.

Renee - posted on 02/22/2010

Yolanda,

I feel the same way sometimes. It's sad to see young mothers trying to take care of their children and be involved only to have others frown upon them and give them a hard time. I still don't understand it. I have four kids, I'm 28, live in an upscale neighborhood, and I can hardly stand my neighbors and the school parents at the school. Just because people are older and have money, they look down upon anyone who doesn't fit the bill.

These people think their shit don't stink and it's ridiculous! I wasn't raised that way. I love the down to earth mothers that are outgoing, fun, and nice. And I have to say....The only parents I have really hit it off with are the "football Moms" on my sons football team. Everyone gets along and we actually get together once a month and have dinner and drinks.

I may be young and have a nice house, but one thing is for sure......I am nice and a good mother, no matter my age or what kind of car I drive!

Shauna - posted on 02/22/2010

This is yet another reason I mostly avoid other women, including other moms. I just don't get along with them because they're on a completely different wavelength than I am.

Most of the women having kids where I live (in CA), are at least in their mid 30s and still more of them are doing the IVF thing and having twins/triplets.

I am just not at the same place in life as they are. Many of them seem older while also being more immature than I am, which confuses me. I guess that's one reason why I just stay away from people who don't "mesh" well with me as a person. Just having had a baby does not make someone a friend.

Yolanda - posted on 02/22/2010

My son is older now and so am I, we changed school districts to a more diverse area and what do you know a lot of things are different. The buildings not as new, the books are old but the teachers are great, the PTA is impressive. there are still those cliques and you definately see them in there matching acuras and turtle necks. I guess if we want to teach our kids how to get along and be accepting we should look in the mirror and start there first. I get defensive pretty quick because of my experience with the other PTA and i hope that i can leave that baggage at the door. i'm strong willed and outspoken so hopefully i can hold my tongue and pick my battles.

Amy - posted on 02/22/2010

I had a situation with a woman who commented on something i playfully said to my friend on her fb status update. Because i have yet to baptise my daughter ( bc now im preg with a lil boy i want to do them at the same time) I just had to say to her, i will raise my children the way i choose to & that im sorry that she does not agree with my actions & if she did not have anything nice to say to me that i would appreciate it if she just didnt say anything at all, after that not only did the woman continue her ranting about me and how i raise my children she started to argue & be very disrespectful to my mother who had stepped in. I was shocked that an adult woman would act in that sort of way not only to me but also my mother. I guess some people are just stuck in those ways & there is nothing anyone can do but ignore them. Sorry to see that is happening at your sons school for pta meetings. Just know you are doing what is right for your son & they can shove it.

Jill - posted on 02/22/2010

Yes Yolanda unfortunately grown women can be worse than high school girls. They are just insecure.

Jill - posted on 02/22/2010

Try not to worry too much. I know what you mean though. I am not that young, 29 and I look young but, I just stay away from those cliques and usually you find some really nice people. I think it is so great that you are doing PTA don't stop because of those ladies who think they know everything. Get in there and get involved, show them you are very capable and care about your son and the great mom you are.

Yolanda - posted on 02/22/2010

thats pretty much what i thought. It's just frustrating to watch grown women act like high school kids. Oh and don't even mention that you work! that gives them a whole other reason to talk about you as they sip their baileys-laced coffee...

Laura - posted on 02/22/2010

I think we've all felt that way. Women are hard to get along with. Just remember that no one is better than you and you are just as good as anyone else. The one who angers you controls you, so don't give them that kinda power. Plus they're probably just jealous, they always are.