Sex after birth

Sarra - posted on 06/08/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I had my first baby 5.5 months ago, I had to have an epi. done as my son got distressed and they needed to deliver him sooner rather than later! - My situation is that I still haven't had sex with my hubby since Rhys was born. I have no sexual desire what-so-ever.....anyone else have/had this problem??

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Glenda - posted on 02/24/2012

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Where I got my stitches after labour and delivery keep splitting open after we try intimacy makes for a frustrating relationship on both sides. Even small amounts of touch and holdings hands in the quiet moments could make a world of difference as a reminder that you are there for eachother. Never underestimate the power of touch and a nurturing spirit

Loni - posted on 06/08/2009

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Me and my hubby waited about 8 weeks until after our daughter was born to have sex again. I must admit that it was more for his benefit than mine! Our daughter is now 6 months old and I personally couldn't be bothered to have sex...ever. It's super weird, but hormones do a number on ya lol. I have almost no desire to be sexual at all. I keep telling my hubby that it will get better eventually! He is being very understanding...bless him. I hope your libido finds its way back (just as I hope mine does, haha) Good luck!

[deleted account]

I think that the lower sex drive is normal (though moreso when you're breastfeeding). My husband and I were having sex again about 3 or 4 weeks after I delivered, but I'm certainly less interested, mostly because I'm too tired. We're not having sex as often as before the baby, but we do try to make time for it (and time just to be with each other). For me, I found that in the first few months, it was harder to get myself motivated for sex, but once I was in the act, it felt great - you'll probably find it is just as much fun as it used to be!

Andrea - posted on 06/08/2009

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hi sarra! i did experience that too. i asked my doctor about it and she told me not to worry for it is normal. like what veronica said, it is a combination of your hormones and the need to focus on your baby more than anything else. don't put too much pressure on yourself. relax! plus, you need your hubby's support in this matter. he needs to understand your feelings and help you out. talk it over with him and i assure you everything will be alright and will certainly get your libido back to normal.

Leann - posted on 06/08/2009

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My son is 9 months old and most of the time....I'd rather sleep!!! There's nothing wrong with you. My sister says she didn't really feel like it til her baby was over a year old. I try to make an effort occassionally to have sex for his sake (that sounds terrible!!) But he understands.....It'll get better soon enough I'm sure

Cheryl - posted on 06/08/2009

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Hi ya this is quite normal i didnt have sex till nearly 7 months after i had my little boy cause i just didnt want to was to tired and all that cause of looking after baby and i was scared it was going to hurt but after we did once my then my libido just came back!! I just hope your husband is patient you will get your libido back it just takes time having a baby is so stressful and tireing that sex is bottom of the list hope all goes well xxx

Amanda - posted on 06/08/2009

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After I had our son Finn, i really didnt want to have sex for a while either. my husband is a very patient man, he never made me feel bad or anything. The funny thing, is that i was super horny throughout the whole pregnancy, up till the last few weeks. i felt sexier being pregnant, than i did afterwards, i was in between two bodies that i was used to, the pre-pregnancy one that got my husband, and the super feminine mother to be belly body. i'm sure hormones have a lot to do with it too. but we eased into it again after a few months. we had a total high school make-out session and that helped with confidence, and i wont go into to details after that :)

Roxanne - posted on 06/08/2009

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Trust me, you are well within the normal limits. Many moms don't get the "drive" back for many months -- obviously, some do! lol I was somewhere in between, though I had c-sections with both kids. I ended up just going for it around week 6 even though I didn't feel as "into it" as I had pre-birth, and started only 1-2x/week. I felt like my libido came back slowly each time, but it did come back!

Gemma - posted on 06/08/2009

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I had an epi when I had my son Madison he is nearly 16 months. My husband and I had sex 3 weeks after he was born. We took it slow to start, but we were back to normal soon enough. Good Luck.

Veronica - posted on 06/08/2009

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How long ago did you stop nursing?? Your hormones may still be off kilter, are you back to regular menstruating? when you are back to normal menst. then you pretty much know your hormones are regulating again -- its hard to say - i wouldnt say you were abnormal or weird. But no offense, you seem overly attached to your baby to the point that you couldnt be away from him that long -- now im not cutting you down here, just pointing that out -- being a mom is soo wonderful and you want to be there for their every waking moment -- sounds like you have a bit of seperation anxiety from your child - and that might be affecting your libido too -- im going to say this - truly take time for yourself and for your husband -- im sure he's not the happiest right now about it either, and you should at least give him some type of affection to show you still love him, but you just arent ready or in the mood -- keep communication open and let him know how you feel. I would also talk with your doctor too -- make sure everything is a ok in the ole baby making area -- take care.

Melissa - posted on 06/08/2009

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How is your husband dealing with this? I know my husband would be going crazy after month one, (He really goes crazy sooner, but after baby, he understands).

Sarra - posted on 06/08/2009

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Thanks for your reply! - Am no longer breastfeeding, my son got too big too quick, he's super long, so I had to give up feeding him myself as he wasn't getting enough from me... :o( Was so upset about that !
I don't think i'm stressed out or depressed, or in need of a break, all first time Mum's get a little down / tired every so often don't they? - maybe thats just me!?!?! I asked my parents to take care of our son for an afternoon and an evening, but I hated being apart from him.....so i went to pick him up early. I'm just not interested in my hubby sexually..... Sounds horrible when i say it out-loud!

Veronica - posted on 06/08/2009

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Ive had 5 children -- this happened to me with my third and fourth -- a lot of it for me had to do with stress in the marriage, and with having a lot of kids!! lol my libido has really dropped in the last three to four years -- which is weird cause i had three kids in the last three to four years - just was one of those things i guess at the time that i actually felt llike being with him....

[deleted account]

WHAT?!?! Does this seriously happen?!



My Husband was Deployed for the birth of our first child, but he was here for the second. Of course the Doctors told us not to do anything for 4-6 weeks. Being my Daughter was vaginal and a whopping 9 pounds 2 ounces, we did manage to hold off for a little over a week. We resulted to "dry humping" like teenagers until about the 11th day after her birth and we didn't care anymore.



My sexual urges picked up both times. I went from being the girl that wanted sex 1-2 times daily to a sex addict. My poor Husband.



I guess some women have the polar opposite happen to them?

Veronica - posted on 06/08/2009

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Yes - your hormones can still be outta whack --your attention is on your baby, things like that. (are you breastfeeding??) When you breastfeed I think it hinders your hormones too - leaving your sex drive little to none. Do you need a break?? Are you stressed out?? Maybe you need to make a few nights with just you and your husband - sex doesnt need to be involved - just time to cuddle, talk, whatever it is - before you know it you'll be tearin' his clothes off and throwin him on the bed again! lol What is up otherwise?? Are you depressed about anything??

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