Sex after pregnancy...

Kristi - posted on 11/21/2009 ( 129 moms have responded )

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My midwife told me the other day that I would be able to have sex again as soon as I stoped postpardom bleeding. I had my daughter 3 weeks ago and am already done bleeding but is it safe to have sex that soon? I dont know if my body is healed enough for sex. I always thought you had to wait 6 weeks. How long did you wait?

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Jennifer - posted on 11/28/2009

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I was told to wait 6 weeks also by my OBGYN but my fiance couldnt wait that long and acted like he was dying after 2 weeks and it hurt like crazy I was in tears and he felt so bad.

Aisa - posted on 11/26/2009

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if you feel ready than go ahead were first time parents and we started again after 3 weeks, we would have tried earlier but i had stitches and i wanted them to dissolve before anything

Charmaine - posted on 11/28/2009

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I waited 6 weeks because I tore when I gave birth...but its really when you feel ready I was in so much pain that it was hard for me to walk let alone have sex..I would laugh and feel pain, but by the time 6 weeks came I was better but still pretty stiff having sex actually helped me but just make sure your parnter takes it easy even then!! LOL

Laura - posted on 11/27/2009

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Quoting Jannie:

Oh man was this hard on my baby's daddy. When my daughter turned one month, I had my post check up and the doctor said I was okay to have sex. My boyfriend was so excited but I was not ready. I said no. My friend did it right away. My cousin waited 4 months after the baby until she did it. As for me, I waited 3. I felt like my insides were not healed, I felt tired, and I thought I wasn't pretty:(. I really think this situation really depends on you. How you feel physically and mentally about it. And once you do, it feels amazing :) hahah



I agree! My doctor told me I was fine at 6 weeks, but I didn't feel ready. We ended up doing it, and it did not feel good for me, it felt weird. And still to this day it is not 100% again (my daughter is 5 months) because I don't feel "pretty" again yet. ...It just takes time and depends on how you feel both on the inside and the outside... :)

Michaela - posted on 11/27/2009

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Hi, my name is Michaela and my Doc. told me that i can start having sex when i think i feel okay and good down there. but i started two months after birth just so i will feel a little thighter.

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Lovey - posted on 10/15/2012

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Im new to this im not sure how to post a blog but I have a question ........ I just had a baby almost 2 months ago... I didn't wait my six weeks to have sex.I had unprotected sex twice and I was just wondering what's the chances of me being pregnant again

Amber - posted on 12/02/2009

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Quoting Stevie:



Quoting Amber:

i warn u if u dnt wait u might not heal as well as you will if u wait..
u want to heal back to your old self down there dont u.
if u want to please your man theres other ways :-) u on the other hand can settle for a body massage ? lol.. i hope u wait, it will help sex in the future if u do!






not really cuz like the first time i said i had sex before 6 weeks with my first and i was just fine but with my son i had stitches and i waited even past that and sex is not really that great anymore kinda hurts for awhile (not saying that it was cuz of the stitches or how long i waited)






if u r disagreeing, u mose well say that u heal just as good if u have sex as you do if you wait, or that it doesnt matter if u have sex or not you still heal back to normal.



Every doctor tells you to wait so that it heals "ProPerLy"

Amber - posted on 12/02/2009

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Quoting Audrey:



Quoting Amber:

i warn u if u dnt wait u might not heal as well as you will if u wait..
u want to heal back to your old self down there dont u.
if u want to please your man theres other ways :-) u on the other hand can settle for a body massage ? lol.. i hope u wait, it will help sex in the future if u do!





This is completely unfounded old wives tale. There are no studies showing that waiting longer makes sex better in the future. This is a VERY individual and personal decision. If you feel ready then you are. If not then wait longer. Any doctor will tell you that you are the best judge of your own body. You know when your body feels "right". As well as how you feel emotionaly and mentally.





Audrey,  you may not have heard it before but if u heal "down there" back to or near to what shape and size u wer before, its for sure that Sex will be the same as it was before you fell pregnant. Y would u want to start having sex before you have heeled. Its nonsense unless you want to stay stretched and not heal.



Its called common sense, there may not be a study to prove this becos it makes perfect sense, the doctors tell you to wait a few weeks for alot of reasons. Old wives tale no, im 25 and i heard this from a young person and no i didnt read it somewhere!



This girl i knw knows from experience! She said that she couldnt feel as much in bed becos she hadnt heeled much cos she started having sex straight after. Her vagina stayed quite large.



Alot of women say sex after having a baby isnt as good as it used to be and in other words they cant feel as much as before...

Becky - posted on 11/28/2009

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I bled for 8 weeks so we waited until then...just be careful you don't tear a stitch!

Brandi - posted on 11/28/2009

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we waited the six weeks we were told. I was told to wait because of A) an infection and B) the risk of getting pregnant was greater. We have a 10 year old and g/g 1 year old twins. We waited the 6 weeks with BOTH pregnancies. I guess ultimately it is your choice. I hope it all works out ok for you all.

Cori - posted on 11/28/2009

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I was cleared after 4 weeks (even with a c-section). Don't overdo yourself though.

Lucienne - posted on 11/28/2009

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reading this was amazing!!! I have a 14months old and after my c-section i was told to wait a while, but it has now been 16 months since i have had sex!



i had a difficult pregnancy so it was off the cards then and now i just cannot do it and i don't want to!!!!



ever!

Michelle - posted on 11/28/2009

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Well I waited two weeks and began but if you don't want to be prego then you might need some other precaution cuz you will be very fertile. Most doctors say 6 wks.

Malakia - posted on 11/28/2009

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i waited 7 wks becuz i wanted to b sure that everything was ok with me down there even tho my obgyn had told me that it wouldve been ok after 6... its important that u give your body time to heal so your body can get back to normal besides me personally i wouldnt b n any rush esp after all the trauma your body has grown thru .. and if your guy is impatient theres other ways to b intimate *wink*

Kimberly - posted on 11/28/2009

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The thing with PP bleeding is that it can come and go. You want to make sure you are completely healed down there not only to prevent any discomfort. But to make sure you don't end up with any infection. But not only for those two reasons. But because during the six weeks after you have had your baby. You are basically a walking egg. You can get pregnant very easily after having a baby.



I would say definitely get cleared by your doctor first. And ask about birth control options.



I waited until about seven weeks PP.

Katrina - posted on 11/28/2009

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i think it's all based on your ow personal comfort level. i had sex agan afr 4 week and it was tender we took our time with him easing in and just going slow. we use lubricated condoms and ky jelly alkong with the condom and its been fairly enoyable. a bit tender but we take it easy and im comfortable now and my daughter is only 6 weeks old now...just take your time, if you feel ready, ease into it, take it slow, and if it hurts too much just stop.

Kriston - posted on 11/27/2009

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Ive had 3 kids and waited different lengths of time for each. It also depended on whether you got an episiotomy or not. If you did you may want to wait longer cuz it can be pretty painful even after the stitches are gone. But if you had a normal delivery with no episiotomy then you can have it when YOU feel ready. As long as you've stopped bleeding and you want to or you feel up to it then go for it! Just make sure you still use protection if your not wanting another baby soon. Even if your breast feeding and not menstruating you can and most likely will get preggos again! Good luck!

Angela - posted on 11/27/2009

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NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! some women can get pregnant right away and some can not the only one who can predict that you will get pregnant again or not is GOD if you believe in HIM. some women are blessed to get pregnant again right away but honestly i WOULD NOT reccomend it you need to give your body the time to heal otherwise your probably going to be pregnant 60%-70% of your life and some if not most women dont always want to go throught so many pregnancies!!!!!!

[deleted account]

Dont! wait until your fully healed!! and until your on birth control. i had sex after my 8 week check up after my c-section and i got pregnant! be careful...good luck!

April - posted on 11/27/2009

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I think it will be best to wait your full 6 weeks just to give your body time to heel and make sure your uterous is back to normal.

Angela - posted on 11/27/2009

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having sex after being pregnant isnt always going to be the same for anyone but i honestly believe that it should be up to the woman on when to have sex again cuz NOT ALL women are the same. some women can have sex right after pp bleeding and some cant. some women even wait for years to have sex again cuz of something simple as baby fat. and i hate to tell all females this but some women get it and some women do not. and not all of us can have surgery to tighten it up some women actually have to work at it to get their figure back. no matter what women look like every mom or mom-to-be is beautiful inside and out dont matter who says otherwise.

[deleted account]

wow you guys are all so keen lol!

i swear i was exhausted, with a screaming colicky baby who fed every 2 hours, i was sore for ages, i didn't feel up to it for months!

it really is how you feel physically and mentally, i think the 6 weeks the docs say is more of a guide.

Brendalyn - posted on 11/27/2009

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i waited about 4 weeks, after the PP bleeding stopped and the stitches were gone, took things slow and it was great!

Angela - posted on 11/27/2009

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i also have just had a child but i waited at least 1 to 2 months before i have sex just to make sure that my body is healed enough to have sex again. believe me when i say its worth the wait, cuz sometimes the child is already sleeping through the night.

Stephanie - posted on 11/27/2009

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You are suppose to wait until at least your first checkup which is usually 6 weeks..but if it doesn't hurt and you aren't bleeding go for it...

Kenisha - posted on 11/27/2009

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I waited. I had my son in Dec.and i didn't start back having sex until like March or April but I didn't stop bleeding for 2 or 3 month's.

I was told that if u hav sex that early that it would be easier to get preg again when you've just had a baby.

Bekki - posted on 11/27/2009

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Doctors tell you a certain number of weeks to wait. No so much about stitches or blood, it's more about your hormones. You are supposed to wait based on the fact that your hormones are screwed up the first 4-6 weeks and that leaves a very high risk of pregnancy again.

Christina - posted on 11/27/2009

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i had a c section for both my kids..i waited maybe a week or 2.then had sex....needless to say got pregnant again lol..My daughter wasnt even 6 weeks old at the time ..i was soo mad!.but now that their almost 8 and 9 yrs old..im glad i had them so close..they are each others best friend..almost like twins:)..they are 5 days from being 1 yr apart...

Abby - posted on 11/27/2009

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I would wait until your 6 week postop check up. That is what I was always told.

Shanira - posted on 11/27/2009

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its what ever your comfort level is, make sure you use protection because your body is still very fertile....I am already on baby number two..lol

Loretta - posted on 11/27/2009

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I had to wait 6-8 weeks after i had mine because although i had stopped bleeding i had to recover from c-section first.

Crystal - posted on 11/27/2009

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If you feel like you are ready then that is the sign. I kept up with my pelvic floor exercises, I think these ar ethe key to everything

Sarah - posted on 11/26/2009

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I had sex about 6 or 7 weeks after.. they say if you had stitches to just be very gentile.. and if it hurts AT ALL stop.. I didn't have stitches in my perinium.. I had them up top so I had to be extra careful.. but everything went back to normal. and it took about that long for me to have the desire to... you don't really feel super sexy after having a baby... especially if the downstairs is a little outta wack... but if you want to go for it... and the only way I think to know to find out if youre healed enough is to try and see

C. - posted on 11/26/2009

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Quoting Heather:






Quoting Anastasia:

"My mum has a Mirena. DON"T DO IT!! The doctor told her just before she put it in that that it was "going to hurt....ah, quite a bit"! Mum said it was worse than giving birth! The pain almost makes you pass out and the pain rips through your body, From your cervix all the way up your spine into your neck and so forth. Painful. Oh, and it's supposed to be even worse coming out. Remember that they are forcing a piece of metal through the middle of your cervix. And you can't have and pain killers during the procedure because you need to feel the pain just incase something goes wrong. Oh and she almost has a panic attack at the thought of getting it taken out next year.

But hey, I don't know from personal experience. Who knows, maybe she's exaggerating. But the fear in her eyes is real. And plus, I guess, it's been 22yrs since she gave birth, so maybe there's a big difference between cervix tightness or whatever.
I'm not trying to insult anyone or anything. But i really think you need to get LOTS of information before jumping into it. Because it may just not be worth it. "






 






 






I just had this done a couple of weeks ago and I didn't even feel it!!  And I don't know where you got your info but it isn't metal... it's plastic and it is inserted into your uterus!  The say for some they experience some period like cramping but nothing severe... LIke I said, I didn't even feel it at all!









 





Well in several countries that's all they use is copper for their IUDs. It's possible she is from a European country or surrounding country, that is where the Copper IUDs are most common. And I recommend not using Copper IUDs if you're allergic to any kind of metal, as it may cause ill effects in your body.



And yes, it does go in your uterus, but it has to go through your cervix first :)

C. - posted on 11/26/2009

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If your midwife gave you the ok, then it's probably fine. Though it may be a little painful or uncomfortable for a little bit since you had a baby just several weeks ago. You're lucky you didn't take as long as I did to heal.. 3 months!

Leveda - posted on 11/26/2009

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i say trust your gut, if you think you are ready then go for it. i personally wasn't ready even after i stopped bleeding at 5wks, but that was me.

Alicia - posted on 11/26/2009

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You're ready when you're ready. Hopefully you know your body well enough to know if you are feeling up to it. Obviously, pain is not good, just pay attention I guess and start out easy.

For my husband and I, we had sex 4 weeks after. And that was because HE made ME wait! lol I had stopped bleeding pretty quick, but he still wanted to wait at least 4 weeks. BUT since then, I got my period (my daughter BFs) at about 6weeks, and then got my IUD in and I'm still bleeding! This has been almost 4 weeks that I've been bleeding now. So we started out earlier than my midwife said to, but since then - nothing due to my lengthy period. (don't worry... midwife's office nurses state it's not uncommon to bleed for UP TO 4 months after IUD instertion, so I guess it's sort of normal)

Good luck :) and have fun, pay attention to your body and what it may be telling you. If you are ready, then go for it. Everyone heals differently.

Madison - posted on 11/26/2009

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I think that whenever you feel comfortable enough to you can. I had no pain after my second baby so I was able to have sex a week and a half after my son was born. Your body knows whats safe and whats not.

Valerie - posted on 11/26/2009

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my daughter was born 2 weeks i have already had sex the bleeding stopped and i got my tubes tied so im fine. find out more options and hope you are on birth control easy to get pregnant right after having a baby

Bianca - posted on 11/26/2009

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I waited 6 weeks because i was scared of the stitches popping open or something. When we did finally have sex i just told my partner that i was scared and that if it felt to sore or weird that we would have to stop... it was a bit weird to start with ( not bad, kinda felt like the first time all over again) but once we got past that bit, it was great... i had my first post-partom pap a few days after and the doctor told me that i wasn't completely healed yet but if sex felt right then there's no reason not to.. she just told me to use condoms to avoid getting any infection.. i think its one of those "each to their own" conversations and just do what you feel is right for you.

Heather - posted on 11/26/2009

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Quoting Anastasia:

"My mum has a Mirena. DON"T DO IT!! The doctor told her just before she put it in that that it was "going to hurt....ah, quite a bit"! Mum said it was worse than giving birth! The pain almost makes you pass out and the pain rips through your body, From your cervix all the way up your spine into your neck and so forth. Painful. Oh, and it's supposed to be even worse coming out. Remember that they are forcing a piece of metal through the middle of your cervix. And you can't have and pain killers during the procedure because you need to feel the pain just incase something goes wrong. Oh and she almost has a panic attack at the thought of getting it taken out next year.

But hey, I don't know from personal experience. Who knows, maybe she's exaggerating. But the fear in her eyes is real. And plus, I guess, it's been 22yrs since she gave birth, so maybe there's a big difference between cervix tightness or whatever.
I'm not trying to insult anyone or anything. But i really think you need to get LOTS of information before jumping into it. Because it may just not be worth it. "



 



 



I just had this done a couple of weeks ago and I didn't even feel it!!  And I don't know where you got your info but it isn't metal... it's plastic and it is inserted into your uterus!  The say for some they experience some period like cramping but nothing severe... LIke I said, I didn't even feel it at all!





 

Diana - posted on 11/26/2009

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I only waited until about 2 1/2 weeks after my daughter was born. it is a little painful the first few times but as long as he is careful it isn't to bad, but it completely depends on how you feel. if you're up to it, go for it, just be careful.

Susannah - posted on 11/26/2009

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i would wait the full six weeks so you that you dont have any chance to ripe i waited the doctor told me to wait..... i stopped bleeding after only 1 week but i held out for a full 6 weeks i think that is best for your body to heal and adjust to nothing growing inside you!!!

[deleted account]

With my first I waited for about 4 or 5 weeks, but that is because I had torn a little. With my second though we waited for 11 days. Depends on how your body is feeling. Its different for everybody!!!

Carlian - posted on 11/26/2009

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i have a question. if you have sex in the shower does it really lessen your chance of getting pregnant or is this just another myth?

Stacy - posted on 11/26/2009

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My son was born in August and I still am avoiding it LOL. You want to wait at least 6 weeks, not only to stop bleeding, but also for your uterus to shrink back to its normal size. You want to be sure you are fully healed! Don't rush it is my advice.

Ashley - posted on 11/26/2009

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i waited the six weeks, but i didnt have any stiches or anything down there, you will know when you are ready if it doesnt feel right when you start just stop!

Anastasia - posted on 11/26/2009

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My mum has a Mirena. DON"T DO IT!! The doctor told her just before she put it in that that it was "going to hurt....ah, quite a bit"! Mum said it was worse than giving birth! The pain almost makes you pass out and the pain rips through your body, From your cervix all the way up your spine into your neck and so forth. Painful. Oh, and it's supposed to be even worse coming out. Remember that they are forcing a piece of metal through the middle of your cervix. And you can't have and pain killers during the procedure because you need to feel the pain just incase something goes wrong. Oh and she almost has a panic attack at the thought of getting it taken out next year.

But hey, I don't know from personal experience. Who knows, maybe she's exaggerating. But the fear in her eyes is real. And plus, I guess, it's been 22yrs since she gave birth, so maybe there's a big difference between cervix tightness or whatever.
I'm not trying to insult anyone or anything. But i really think you need to get LOTS of information before jumping into it. Because it may just not be worth it.

Rose - posted on 11/26/2009

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Everyone body is not the same.Just because you stop bleeding doesnt mean your body is healed.Just think about it,you've been carring a baby for 9 months ,wen you give birth your body is like an open wound.Its not heal give it sometime..Doctors say 6-8 weeks but I waited atleast 3 full months.And even then there was pain..you have to wait for your uterus to get back in place...I was told having sex early after birth can cause medical issiues.It can also cause an unexpected pregnancy and may result into miscarriages because your body is not fully heal.It can also cause Infections...Do not let the father of your child pressure you into having sex.They do not know wat the insides look like.lol.I mean I didnt bleed for long and niether and I didnt have any tear,But that didnt mean my inside was heal.Sex is not going anywhere...you can wait.lol and so can he.

Amanda - posted on 11/25/2009

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my midwife said 6 weeks so i waited that long to and it still hurt but you get through it would wait 6 weeks to make sure your body is ok to my thought..

Katrina - posted on 11/25/2009

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well i waited more than 6weeks after my first child and second child i believe that you should waited because your body need to heal you never know what might happen. but then again we all different you have some have sex like a month or two then you have some wait after six weeks.

Shebrea - posted on 11/25/2009

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after my first daughter we waited 3 wks & i had a couple stitches that werent fully dissolved & i was fine..i just couldnt wait lol. with my twins i gave birth naturally & went home when they were 6days old by the 7th..we had sex & i was fine then bt had problems later on...i think it depends on ur body, how u heal && how u feel...good luck*

Heather - posted on 11/25/2009

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Mirena is amazing! It only takes 11 minutes to become effective, and you can (as long as your ovulating) get pregnant the day you have it taken out! You don't have to worry about remembering to take pills or change a patch! The only problem I've had so far is my first period since pregnancy has gone on forever! But they said that it was expected the first time. By the way... Have you tried anything again yet?

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