Sex before the 6 weeks?

Kathryn - posted on 01/21/2011 ( 64 moms have responded )

340

2

120

How many moms had sex before your post pregnancy 6 week appointment?

Does anyone know why we have to wait?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kayleigh - posted on 01/21/2011

214

26

10

its because it takes up to 6+ weeks for your uterus to shrink and your cervix to close... if your cervix is still open and and you put anything in your vagina, wether that be a tampon, fingers or having sex with your partner you risk major infection in the clotting sites where the placenta separated... that has to be completely healed before you can have sex again. Uterine infections can do anything from causing you to get a little sick, to making you permanently sterile, to causing sepsis or death.
Its best to wait till you've stopped bleeding for at least 4 days before resuming sexual contact of most any kind...
Clitoral stimulation is the only sexual contact that is safe at all and i would make sure both parties are very clean before hand... also, cunnilingus before your postpartum bleeding stops can cause an air embolism and can kill you.
best not to risk it.

Jenn - posted on 01/28/2011

3

4

0

I was having sex at 3-4 weeks after having my daughter...it was awesome and i dont regret it. There is nothing wrong with me and ps I had a c-section

Tracy - posted on 01/26/2011

49

30

9

my husband and i had sex after i stopped bleeding, which was about 3 wks after i had our daughter. i would take it slow & keep reminding him that u did just have a baby and things down there are not the same, men tend to forget things like that.. lol

Trish - posted on 01/27/2011

45

37

1

waited till 5th week mainly b/c i was terrified of being in pain or ripping stitches

Jess - posted on 09/09/2012

1

0

0

With my first I had a vaginal delivery and a 1st degree tear.. we waited 2wks to resume intercourse till the bleeding teared off. Everything went fine and it wasn't painful. With my second I didn't tear and we waited 3wks. The second time was uncomfortable and I will wait a little longer to resume again now. Everytime its different.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

64 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 09/22/2012

25

0

2

I was barely able to wait a week! My husband was afraid he was going to hurt me or bust my stitches but I insisted. My husband is very gentle and I knew that with how we make love, I wasnt in danger of hurting my self. I had a planned c-section. I went home 18 hrs after my baby was born at my request and with my OBs blessing--he was surprised to see how well i came thru it. I felt great about 3 days after I got home from the hospital. I called my OB and told him we were having sex again. He was shocked that I wanted to have sex, but he didn't tell me not to or get mad at me, and called my pills in for me. I guess it all depends on how you feel. I had the best birth experience ever, and my surgery wasn't even a bump in the road for me. I felt like I hadn't even had surgery 3 days later. I bet if I had given birth vaginally or if I had a hard labor followed by a c-section I probably wouldn't have wanted to so soon.

Emily - posted on 01/28/2011

110

1

5

When i had my son, i only bled that day, by that night i was not needing anything not even panty liners. I had ripped a little cuz he came so fast, but not enough to warent any stitches or anything. And we had sex about a wk or 2 after. It didnt hurt, nothing. I could not have waited the full 6 weeks.

Brenda - posted on 01/28/2011

2

87

0

if you had the baby naturally you need to wait... as you can get an infection... but if you had a c section like me, you just have to wait till your up and moving around and your feeling ok and your c section is healed on the outside... we started having sex again on the 4th week... i asked the dr and she said it was ok!!!

Mary-Jo - posted on 01/27/2011

4

52

0

They say to wait 6 weeks because your body needs time to heal and get over the whole delivery process. Another reason is you're more likely to become pregnant up to those 6 weeks mark. (atleast thats what my doctor told me.) I waited til I was healed, about 2 weeks.

Lexi - posted on 01/27/2011

309

15

9

@ Mary Renee Reuter - you bring up an interesting point. Giving birth definitely changes everything down there! There are some positions, that were my favorite before hand that aren't quite as great any more, and others, that I never really liked, that feel really good now. It's odd, but kind of makes for a fun new adventure getting to know each others bodies all over again.

Stephanie - posted on 01/27/2011

280

15

11

We lasted 3 weeks but I didn't have too many stitches after giving birth and I didn't have any issues with pain or bleeding so lucky me I guess.

Laressa - posted on 01/27/2011

303

4

15

I think its a great idea to wait till the bleeding is done. Thats all I was recommended. I think we had our first "encounter" 4 weeks later tho it sure was hard to find the time very often... And if we were in the mood, baby wasn't :-) she would wake up right when things got good. lol

Mary Renee - posted on 01/27/2011

831

16

25

Yikes, I would wait! I was scared to have sex. After six weeks my boyfriends mother was around so we couldn't anyway. Plus it took me a long time. When we finally did (around 7-8 weeks) my stitches were heals and it felt really good! I don't know why, it actually even felt better than before.

I think breastfeeding really shrunk me up or maybe they stitched me up tighter or something.

Cyndel - posted on 01/27/2011

754

24

43

I did! We were careful and slow, but we weren't waiting past 41/2 weeks. My midwife let us know at the 10 day check that the stitches were gone and once I felt comfortable enough. It did hurt but we didn't want to wait and I was no longer visibly bruised.

I had an almost 3rd degree tear (1st degree tear is just the skin at the opening of the vagina, 2nd degree includes the muscle, and 3rd degree means you tore all the way through to the anus.)

It will probably be the same with this delivery coming in a few months (having sex early, not the tearing *please*).

Heather - posted on 01/27/2011

27

20

2

I waited 6 weeks or more with all of my deliveries except the 3rd. It was fairly easy with no tears. I felt great so my husband and I had sex after 3 weeks.

Leslie - posted on 01/26/2011

3

53

0

waited the full 6+ weeks with both of mine bc: a. not interested b. too tired c. bleeding and d. didnt want to be pregnant again so soon!

Lexi - posted on 01/26/2011

309

15

9

They suggest you wait to make sure you are fully healed. If you feel like you want to/can do it and you didn't tear then I don't see why not. Wouldn't hurt to call your doc and just ask tho. Consider yourself lucky! I tore and it was still painful to walk around at 3 1/2 months post partum. Sex was out of the question until 5 months and even then it was painful if we weren't super careful. Trust me it wasn't that I didn't want to but OOOOWWWWWWWWWW. lol I am not looking forward to the recovery from baby #2, but hopefully it's not as bad this time.

Avril - posted on 01/26/2011

2

20

0

Usually because most women experience damage down below, however if your ready then go ahead. However make sure you use protection because women are most fertile the 1st year of having a baby x

Tiffany - posted on 01/26/2011

9

28

0

i had my son dec of 2010 and my six weeks are not up i had sex at three weeks and was a little sore but okay..i think it just depends on how your body heals and how fast it heals ..i had a Csection with him so may be different with natural deliveries.

Brandi - posted on 01/26/2011

99

10

11

I did at 4 weeks. Bleeding had stopped but it was uncomfortable. It still is. Hopefully, it gets better soon.

Allie - posted on 01/26/2011

341

8

26

My husband and I waited about 2.5 months.. mainly because I had a hard recovery from a c-section. But I also wanted to be back on birth control because I had about 4 friends at the time that got pregnant and had babies about 9-10months apart, not planned (no exaggeration).

Maria - posted on 01/26/2011

8

31

0

Wow!!! @ Kathryn Reynolds, Many many thanks for your question, I have gotten a whole lot of insight! Thanks to all the honest moms out there, really thank you for sharing your experiences, I now think its best wait. I'm 35 weeks with my second and I will wait. With my first, my hubby wasn't around for at least 2months, so had no issues, I was well healed by then. MT.

Winnie Takyiwah - posted on 01/25/2011

47

81

2

I waited for about 8 weeks. Even then, it was still not worth it. It took a few months for sex to feel normal again.

Terra - posted on 01/25/2011

26

32

0

My boyfriend wanted sex right away, but i made him wait until i had stopped bleeding. I bled for 8 weeks straight because of how i had torn and how many stitches i had to have. Then after i stopped bleeding i had the mirena placed and it dug into my uterine wall and tore the last stitch i had when i had the mirena removed. So all in all i didnt have sex again until 15weeks pp and even then i was still sore. Honestly, I still am to this day!!

Amanda - posted on 01/25/2011

344

44

9

with my first son we wait two or three weeks and with my second we lasted a week and a half with waiting...don't know why we are suppose to wait though but I am fine..

Theresa - posted on 01/25/2011

207

36

9

i know this is stupid but i did it after like a weeks it was very slow not even worth it its better to wait it out lol

Ally - posted on 01/25/2011

385

11

16

It totally depends on your personal experience. Your body will let you know...if you don't feel like it and it's painful then obviously don't do it. We only waited two weeks after delivery and didn't have any problems, but everyone is different and some women don't even want to think about it for months so just do what feels right for you.

Alexis - posted on 01/24/2011

632

21

21

I had sex 2 weeks after, I did not tear and had not been in pain or even soar for over a week at the time that we started having sex again. I guess it depends on your individual traumas experienced during birth.

[deleted account]

You should wait it safe for your body and help's too take that time too heal even if it is very tempting and you also have a high chance of getting pregnant again

Courtney - posted on 01/24/2011

17

33

0

Oh dear...lol You are supposed to wait because you just pushed something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a grape. And Stuff has to get good again..you, know...go back to where it's supposed to be. And you sure don't want to get pregnant again right away since you are super fertile right after giving birth.
{I waited 2 wks with my first two (both VB) and 4wks with my third (c-section). My husband is hot..what can I say? ;o) }

Robin - posted on 01/24/2011

46

12

2

i didn't have any pain after a few days but bled for about 4 weeks so we had sex at 5 weeks.

Danielle - posted on 01/24/2011

142

24

2

We waited longer than 6wks-we went 8 wks. From what I understand you need to wait bcuz it could cause an infection ans since your body just went through all that to have the baby an infection would NOT be good. We waited 8 just to be safe because I had HORRIBLE post-birthing cramps and we didn't know what was wrong (lol first time parents). We will probably wait this time until the 6 wk marker. One of the ladies said that some postions still hurt and that is def true-esp on the scar

Franshell - posted on 01/24/2011

0

0

7

they say 6weeks to everyone, its just the general wait.. but it depends to your body and if your feeling up to it! i had a csection, and had sex 3 weeks after!

Erin - posted on 01/24/2011

27

46

2

I had sex before 6 weeks with my first baby and I was in tears it hurt so bad.... I planned on waiting 6 weeks with this one but after reading all these posts I don't know anymore lol

Casey - posted on 01/24/2011

50

0

6

As long as your not bleeding anymore. everything that could get in infected is more the likely healed. I think dr just say 6 weeks to be sure. I like it was like 4 weeks for me. I also had a c-section. dr say what they say for your protection and so they cant get sued(sometimes). lol. its yours and your partners decition.

Keep in mind you can get pregnant right after haveing a baby. If thats not something you want come form of birth control would be a good idea.

Amy - posted on 01/24/2011

1,761

18

248

You need to wait because you need to "heal" down there. With that being said both times we had sex before the 6 week mark. The first time I wish we waited longer as I had a lot of stitches and it hurt. The second time I only had two stitches and it didn't hurt at all. I think it depends on how you are feeling, many women find that the more they tore the longer they wanted to wait. I also heard stories of parents having sex in the hospital with in 24 hours of having the baby! I'm not sure that's common though.

Jessie - posted on 01/24/2011

722

60

54

I totally can understand the want to have sex before then. we really did want to be close (me included) probably btw 3-4 weeks but we waited until 6, because I was scared it would hurt! it can lead to infections and stuff too early I know. One of my best friends ended up getting pregnant at about two weeks and not knowing it and then miscarrying about a month later. they used the 'pull out' method and she was exclusively breastfeeding so she thought she would be ok! I think you need to take all of your factors into play and the risks your willing to take before you do have sex early. I didn't have any tears or anything but it was still uncomfortable for several months after birth. nothing wrong with a hand job and some cuddle/foreplay while you wait though!

Samantha - posted on 01/24/2011

71

8

4

With my first, we waited until I stopped bleeding, approximately 3 weeks. I am now 3 weeks after having my second, still bleeding, and getting impatient! My OB said as long as I was done bleeding and it didn't hurt, go for it.

Diane - posted on 01/24/2011

27

45

0

Ha! I know way to many people who have and ended up getting pregnant! You are extremely fertile during that time which is one of the reasons Dr's recommend the 6-8 weeks!

Jonna - posted on 01/23/2011

25

8

2

I had sex after about 7 or 8 weeks, but it was very uncomfortable. Actually, it was painful for about 2 years after my son was born. My doctor said the doctor that delivered him must have stitched a nerve. He'll be 3 in March, and I've just now gotten to where sex is enjoyable again!

Emmalie - posted on 01/23/2011

20

18

2

with my first it was 8 weeks but with my other 2 it was only a week or so but it does depends on what your birth was like

Victoria - posted on 01/23/2011

2

23

0

At Nicole. I am happy to hear that I am not the only one who didn't want to have sex at the 6 week mark. I tore very badly and the idea of sex at 6 weeks was not appealing.

Rachel - posted on 01/23/2011

24

28

4

We tried at 3 weeks and it was very painful...it also increased the bleeding, so we waited an additional 3-4 weeks before trying again.

[deleted account]

When i was leaving hospital with my last baby the doctor said i could have sex when i felt like it and that because i was EBF we didn't need contraception. Go figure.
No i did not trust his opinion. All i say is when you feel ready you will know.

Annick - posted on 01/23/2011

38

6

3

lol.. this feed is hilarious! i was sooo not ready at before 6 weeks! i was sore, had torn really bad, nevermind exhausted from having a newborn at home! lol..... where do you find the tine? heheh

Candi - posted on 01/23/2011

50

96

4

They have you wait because it can cause you more pain and infections and plus its easy to get pregnant again. I had a c-section and could have had sex the week I went home because I was in NO pain but I waited the 6 weeks to get my iud because I was no where near ready to be pregnant again.

Laura - posted on 01/22/2011

698

59

56

I bled for 6 weeks and I think we waited even a little longer after that but I was just tired and had other things to worry about :)

[deleted account]

With my first 2 I waited. The last one I didnt wait and I feel fine. My midwife told me it was ok since I didnt have any complications, or stitches. I think it depends on each woman and your comfort level and health.

Apps+8278986302 - posted on 01/22/2011

97

19

14

i bled for 3 weeks and we had sex at 4 weeks. i tore also in 3 places but i was healed by then so it was fine. we just took it slow and it didnt hurt at all. the dr said if your comfortable then it should be fine. dont do it if you dont feel good about it. if your in pain then wait. i know this sound crazy but i know a couple that had sex 5 days after their 3rd was born :S dont ask me how that was even possible but they did! i couldnt imagine that. lol sex was the last thing on my mind right after i had my first.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms