Should I allow my baby's father to see her without a custody agreement?

Angela - posted on 06/07/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a Mom of a 2mo old and my boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. Up until 2 weeks ago, things were going fine as far as having a civil relationship with him. I am breast feeding and he wanted to keep her all weekend (Fri night into Sunday) and I told him I wanted her back on Saturday night. He flipped out and said he has rights and I said well then don't pick her up at all. We had already agreed to go to custody matters to get a legal paper stating custody rights, so I went and filed that weekend. He wants to have her this weekend and I told him it was ok and now I am wondering if I made a bad choice since nothing is legal yet. He is going to bring her back on Sunday, which I don't agree with but I am allowing him to do it. Should I tell him he can't have her or should I just let him take her? I can try and pump enough milk for her, but she'll have to get formula one of the days. He also has a 2yr old daughter and the reason he wants them the same days is because it is convenient for him. My parents feel strongly that he should not have her until we go to court. I don't feel like he will run away with her, he has no place to go. Help!! If I tell him he can't have her this weekend, he'll flip out again and I don't want a battle. It also doesn't help that I am still in love with him :'(

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Lacye - posted on 06/07/2011

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Legally you don't have to. My husband's ex won't even allow their daughter to come and visit us at all. Not even for a single night. But with you breastfeeding, I don't think you should. With the child that young anyways the court will probably tell him to wait until she is older to spend the night anyways.

Angela - posted on 06/07/2011

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Not to mention she has been with him overnight a couple times because I let him have her for only one night and then I had to get my appendix out and he had her for 3 nights in a row. He will bring all of that up. I hate this!

Angela - posted on 06/07/2011

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How do you suppose I tell him this without it being a fight. He can be extremely nasty when he wants to. I feel like my hands are tied. He is going to throw in my face that I work 12 hr days cause I am a nurse. I am so confused and lost. I don't know what to do. I feel like she should be home with me cause I am breast feeding and then I feel like she should be with her father..

Jessica - posted on 06/07/2011

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If you are breast feeding courts will not let him have her for more than 4 hours at a time. My friend went through the same thing with her ex. I wouldn't let her go! She's too little to be away from you over night.

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