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should i let my son call my boyfriend daddy?

Brittany - posted on 09/16/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

7

36

Well I came to florida to visit family on vacation when my husband at the time called and told me he wanted a divorce. Leaving me and my less then one year old son at the time stranded with no options...since we have been living with my parents and struggling to move on with our lives. Soon after I met an amazing guy who I have been with now for 5 months. Our relationship is great. We respect each other and are really in love. For the first time I feel like I'm in a posotive relationship that has a pretty good future...my only concern is for my now 18 month old son. He loves my boyfriend and started calling him daddy. My boyfriend adores him and doesn't mind at all and treats him just like one of his own in every way...(dirty diapers and mid night feeds and all :D)...which I'm not used to at all because the biological father was never an active father from day one...he always left me doing all the work while he went out partying with his friends. Our son has always been like a trophy for him...just for showing off in public but behind closed doors he just wanted to put him away...my sons biological father is living in another state now and has no plans of coming to see him or providing any monetay support. He calls about once every three weeks to talk to him but has no other involvement....I love my son more then anything and wanted him to have both his parents but since that's not possiable is this ok? No I'm not trying to replace his biological father with anyone...I've givin his dad a chance to be there but he is in no way interested in that.

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4 Comments

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User - posted on 09/16/2012

57

1

5 months is not very long, not saying anything bad about your relationship, but i dont think that is a good idea. if for some reason you guys broke up he would be having another dad walk out on him. I think you should wait a while to give him that title. its a very big step and you dont want to break your sons heart.

Tamera - posted on 09/16/2012

3

10

my daughter was 4 when I met my soon to be hubby.. She started out calling him Daniel (his name).. Last yr she asked me if she could call him daddy. ( he own daddy left when she was 2) I told Daniel what she asked me.. He sat me down and said I love you 3 (i also have a son) very much someday you will be my wife Like we talked about. I do not mind if she calls me Daddybc Im a better father to her than her real dad. So I agreed.. that nite she asked him if she could called him daddy..Teary eyed he told her she could that to him she is his daughter. He also sat my son down who was 7 and told him it was ok to call him daddy to if he wanted to, he didnt have to.. At 1st he called him Daniel til he understood that he wasnt leaving us. We have been together almost 2yrs.. my two kids never been thia happy with their dads.. 2out of 3 of Daniels boys have called me mom.. without being coached into saying it.

Andrea - posted on 09/16/2012

76

0

I wouldn't push your son into it or encourage it, but if he does it off his own back then I would let it happen.

Caley - posted on 09/16/2012

9

50

Anyone can be a father, it takes a special person to be a dad.



You're not doing anything to take your son away fro his father, he's choosing that on his own.



If you have someone who love the both of you and is willing to jump in and help. Go with it. Let your son create the bond with your bf that he wants.



The only thing is, I would have a conversation with your bf that if anything ever happened would he be willing to stay apart of your sons life. If not, start nipping it in the bud now about him being called "daddy"

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