should i stay or should i go?

Medic - posted on 02/26/2011

Personally I would stay. That is what I did while my husband was in Iraq...and when he was gone to training...and when he was in Iraq yet again. My family is from South Texas and we were stuck in Arkansas. I made some really great friends and I had an awesome support network that I made while he was gone. I think its a great experience and proves to yourself that you can do anything. I got a job I loved and lived my life with my kids. He left the second time when our daughter was 6 days old and our son was 3. Thats what proved to me that I don't NEED my husband I am with him because that is who I WANT to be with. That being said we are now out of the military and live in South Central Texas and I love it...this is home and its far enough away from my family to be away and close enough to be there if they need me.

Kimberly - posted on 02/26/2011

I have never personally been in this situation...I can only imagine how hard it is for u as a mother, daughter, and a wife and balancing those duties can be rather challenging...My cousin is in the air force and was deployed across seas somewhere and it caused major problems with his wife...She was very homesick and ended up coming back to the states and next came a divorce...His job was demanding and she felt alone and couldnt handle it...A friend of mine is in the army and his wife (no kids) opted to stay while he was in iraq and after serving his country, sending her money for bills, etc. he came back to an empty house (she had sold everything) and her with another man (she was also lonely)...They ended up divorced as well...I know as a wife, ur husband needs to know he has ur full support on what he's doing but as ur husband, he needs to understand ur feelings about the situation...U are gnna need help and support both physical and emotional esp. after baby #2 and he's not really gnna b able to help like ur gnna need...I moved an hour and 15 min. away from my family and friends after my husband and I were married and Idk anyone here (i know its a big difference than ur situation)...My husband works all the time and is asleep when I take my 5 yr old daughter to school, my 11 month old son is asleep when he wakes up to get ready, and he's gone for work when she's home and when he gets home from work, theyre already in bed so he only really gets to spend time with us one day a wk. Theres times I myself feel lonely and depressed and instead of a shoulder to cry on, I have a phne but I love him and I know that thru everything, I can count on him...Its sometimes hard taking care of everything pretty much myself but I somehow pull thru it...It depends on ur strength and willingness to get thru it all...Moving is a hassle but u will need help (i only wished I had help) and if ur husband can understands that your more comfortable with being around family and friends while he's away, maybe he can help figure out a solution...If u can have a friend or family member come stay with u a couple months as a roommate and the understanding that its a temporary thing until ur husband returns home or until you feel you can do it on ur own would b good (and saves u the hassle of moving all ur stuff and then moving back)...I hope this helps you some and I hope everything works out for you...Congrats and Good luck...God bless

Liz - posted on 02/26/2011

You have to do what is easier for you, but also keep in mind the constant moving for your small children. it's alot to adjust to at any age, but especally when you are little when your home keeps changing.

Is there any way some of your family could come and live with you for a bit?