Should You Work If You Are Raising Two Kids And Your Boyfriend or Husband works?


Trina - posted on 04/03/2010




You just have to do what is best for your family and their life. It isn't anyone elses choice but yours. Different strokes for different folks.

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Sheree - posted on 04/06/2010




If financially you need to then yes, but if not then i think no. Unless you can do some casual work when your hubby/boyfriend can look after the kids.

Brittany - posted on 04/06/2010




its all up to you. if you can afford to be a stay at home parent and if thats what you want to do than why not? i am a stay at home mother and wouldnt change a thing... if you stay home you wont have daycare costs to pay. its really great and you have soo much time to spend with your kids and the kids love it to.

Erin - posted on 04/05/2010




my daughter is 13 months old, and i have been very luck to have been able to stay home with her, and not have to send her to day care... BUT i am so ready to get back to work, even if it is just part time... i love my daughter more then anything but i can't wait to get out into the work world again.... and i think daycare will be good for her to socialize with other babies...

Tara - posted on 04/05/2010




Im a stay at home mom. My hubby goes to work, while i stay home and look after the kids. I will never ever work in my life time. Thats the mens duty, is to go to work and the women stay home and look after the children.

[deleted account]

you can. it helps sometimes keep your sanity and gets you out for a bit at least. my dr. suggested i get a job if i could so i could get out for a bit and help my stress. depends on who you are tho. if you can handle the staying at home with 2 kids and not feel like you need the break then its good, you dont need to. i wish i could work but righ now its very hard. i hated working but at the same time i think i hated it so much i kind of miss it.

Ashley - posted on 04/05/2010




i am a working mom and love it....i hated being at home...both boys go to daycare and they love it. we both have fairly good jobs so it is worth it for me to work. It all depends on what u wanna do. My sister loves being a stay at home mom and i didnt. all depends on the person

Ashley - posted on 04/05/2010




and another thing, for the mommas that feel they aren't helping your spouse, think about the bigger picture, where would they be if you weren't there to take care of your babies, cook dinner, clean the house and most of all be supportive to them... As moms we all do our part so don't work cause of a guilty mind, do it for yourself our enjoy these precious moments with your kids :)

Ashley - posted on 04/05/2010




I am a stay at home mom, i've been at home for 5 years with my son. We are TTC baby no.2 and i love being able to stay home. People say they get stir crazy but i don't. I am always making plans, my son comes with me everywhere and for that he is much more intelligent than most kids his age, so i have been told. I plan beach days, mall days, park days, library days, or i look for free events that i can go to with the hubby, son or just my self and son. I have my down days to help financially but honestly there is so much to explore in life, i always keep busy. My son starts school for the very first time this year and i am so excited for him but i'm like whoa, i will miss these days. So hopefully we get pregnant soon and can start all over again....

Niki - posted on 04/05/2010




raising two kids is working!!! its just weather you want to raise them yourself, or if you want to pay someone else to raise them for you at a daycare centre while you do a different job. its totally personal choice so figure out whats right for you and dont let yourself get pressured into something you or the kids are not ready for. Personally I love my work, i need something outside of homelife to keep me busy, and after babys born i plan on going back 2 days a week - but as im not into the idea of daycare until babys much older - my partner will be staying home thoes days - so it works perfectly for us! but if you do decide to go back to work then start out slowly, suddenly going to daycare 8 hours a day 5 days a week is going to be a really big traumatic experience for your kids - so ease them into it

Tara - posted on 04/05/2010




Depends on you're situation really, I went back to college when my son was 18months because i was going crazy at home, i just felt like i wasn't contributing to the household at all and found that all my conversations revolved around the baby and housework, lol. My fiance got made redundant from his job and he took care of the baby while i went to college. Now he is working again and baby no.2 is due in june. I'll definitely be going back to college/work after this baby is born, but not until he is about a year old. I think its important for one parent to stay at home with a young baby and bond, but once they get a bit older if you've got to work its ok.

One of the things no one ever tells you about motherhood is that you feel guilty about every little decision you make regarding your child. Just try and do whats right for you and trust your ability to make good decisions for your family x

Chantalle - posted on 04/05/2010




I agree with what most people said here.
1) what job/career would you have and what are the hours?
2) figure out how long it would take you to get to work
3) how much is child care in your area? can you get subsidy or have a family member do it for free or a much reduced cost?
4) does you paycheck cover childcare, gas, work lunches, work clothes and any extras for work?

For me the answer was no, I have two children 2 1/2 and 1. To put them into daycare and go back to work I would have brought home $200 a month total after all costs. Honestly for that much I will scrounge the coupon booklet:)

Although I have now gone back to college, to further my education and will financial aid it's been totally worth it

HTH and just remember it's can only be yours and your significant others decision and no one else's,

Lydia - posted on 04/05/2010




If you want to and the kids will be taken care of then yes - why not? Its not a case of "should" but rather "would" or "could" - its always a choice

Adrian - posted on 04/05/2010




I just quite my job that I was @ for 3 years. Things were getting very frustrating @ home. I couldn't get off work to meet with my childs teachers and was getting attitudes from people @ work when I had to call out sick because my baby was sick. Things were getting extremely stressful. After work we had about an hour to an hour and a half to eat supper, do homework, and get baths and in bed. I never had any time with my children. I felt like my children(ages 10, 9, and 2) and husband were getting pushed on the back burner. Any job is so not worth that. So now when my school aged children are @ school, my house gets clean, I spend some quality time with my youngest, then we go get his sisters from school, do homework, play, and get ready for daddy to come home. Things are so much easier on everyone and less stressful. I LOVE being a stay @ home mother!!

Laura - posted on 04/03/2010




Its up to you and your bf/hubby. What ever makes sense for you and you guys are happy with.

I have done both. Right now I am staying home while I am pregnant because my job causes too much strain on my body my husband and I both agreed it was better for me not to work while pregnant. However I will be going back to work ASAP as soon as this baby comes. I am very fortunate to have my mom now retired to help out with the kids. I have done a sitter and the first one was absolutely horrible I had to quit my job until I could find someone I could trust. My next one was GREAT and I used her until I got pregnant. I will have to find a back up sitter for when my mom can't do it (i.e. she goes out of town on vacation) but otherwise I plan on using mostly my mom to help us out and she is free :). Also personally it helps me keep my sanity if I work. I really enjoy what I do and I use my work as my "me time."

Well good luck at whatever you decide but really the choice is all yours and no one else can make it for you.

Brandi - posted on 04/03/2010




It definitely depends on a number of factors. Does it make sense for you financially to work? (for me it didn't My ENTIRE paycheck paid the babysitter and put gas in my car to get me back and forth to work. Not to mention the added expense of lunches at work if you didn't have time to pack a lunch). What are your values concerning child rearing?? We wanted to try the best we could to NOT take our kids to a babysitter unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. We very strongly wanted to raise our kids the way we wanted to raise our kids. Can you find a sitter you trust COMPLETELY??? I always had reservations about leaving my baby with anyone who wasn't family. Are YOU O.K. when you leave your kids? Some moms are better at it than others. I HATED IT and really had a ROUGH time leaving my daughter. I ached to be with her when I wasn't. What do you and your husband want??? My husband was the first to suggest me quitting my job to stay home as a way to make ends meet financially. So I did it. and I am sooo glad I did. I stay home with my kids (1 boy and 1 girl) and am sooo happy I don't miss anything. As a matter of fact, my husband and I are taking a much needed day trip soon and my mother in law is gracious enough to watch my kids while we are away. They will be with her for 2 nights and I am a nervous wreck. I haven't been away from EITHER of my kids for longer than overnight. (literally, I drop them off at suppertime and pick them up at breakfast) lol. So do what works for your family. I don't think there is a right or wrong as long as whatever you choose to do you maintain a strong sense of discipline, respect, and quality time together.

Grace - posted on 04/03/2010




If working works for you then sure. If not, then no. I'm a stay at home mom, and I probably will be for quite a few years. I do make some money though, selling things on Amazon. But for the most part I am at home with my baby and my husband works. It works for us.

Colleen - posted on 04/03/2010




My boy friend works and we r raising 2 kids also, I went back to work part time when my daughter was 3 months old, the other is school age. I am a lot happier because it may be part time but I get to socialize more. I love staying home with my daughter but I do get stir crazy sometimes. I guess if you need the money def. go back to work but make sure you feel very comfortable with your child care choice. If not then it's really up to you but I think it will make you happier and although you love your kids you do need time away from them.

[deleted account]

Yes, why not? If it makes sense financially (daycare won't cost the same as your pay) and yhou want to then go ahead. Some women are stay at home moms, others aren't and are much better parents when they are able to work, even if only part time. I know that staying at home with my son has gotten really hard and I will be much happier when I go to school.

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