Shower for second baby?

Sumi12 - posted on 03/29/2012

hi moms ,

Wonderful things from you. I’ve examine your stuff before and you’re just also awesome. I enjoy what you’ve got right here, enjoy what you’re saying and the way you say it. You make it entertaining and you still manage to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read more from you. That is really a great thread.

Baby winter clothes

Happy - posted on 03/28/2012

WOW!!!! Some of the responses on here are down right mean! EVERY baby deserves a celebration. If you want to come, come. If you don't, keep your selfish ass at home! Period. A gift registry is a suggestion list, a wish list, not a "You better get me this crap or I'm not gonna be nice to you anymore!" demand list! It's not a ransom note either. Sheeeesh people. Seriously! Girl, have a shower, have two! Those who come to celebrate with you, whether they vring a gift or not, are your real friends, to all others, eff 'em!

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/28/2012

What? A baby is a baby. Which is why they call it a baby shower, right? Yes, you should have a baby shower for each child. If anyone thinks it is tacky then don't invite them or hopefully they just won't come.



You need to have the memory for all your babies, not just one. Meh. That is absurd that anyone says it is tacky. I say go for it!



Now I never did a registry. Simply because I was having the shower for memories to add to my babies album. I also knew it wouldn't be extravigant gifts and that people would buy what they wanted.



I went and bought all the big stuff. Except for our change table, my Mom actually bought that. My in-laws gave us $500, so that was really nice too (but I had already bought everything).. Other than that it was just the regular "shower" gifts, which was all we needed. ;)



It had been 12 years since I had a baby, so we needed EVERYTHING again. My 12 year old (at the time, she is 13.5 now) was definitely not using any baby things anymore. LOL

Alicia - posted on 03/28/2012

I had no idea it was "tacky" to have another baby shower. lol

**Jackie** - posted on 03/27/2012

The most expensive thing I had was bedding for around $300 and it was not only sheets, comforter and all that but window treatments to match and a throw pillow. 3 of my co-workers got it for me and I appreciated it soooooo much. I felt weird putting it on there but at Babies R Us you are allowed to put comments on your registry like "gifts card are welcome" or "it's a girl!" so I had mentioned that group gifts are very much appreciated.

Dawn - posted on 03/27/2012

yeah honestly, I'm with jackie on that one. I was encouraged by several family and friends to try and put expensive items on my registry for my 1st baby with the idea that not just one person but a whole bunch of ppl could pitch in for one item. thing of it was...not a single person bought the expensive items (even after it was heavily mentioned that those items were strictly intended as group gifts). We ended up buying those things ourselves anyway. so just b/c u ask doesn't mean u will receive (although, i sometimes wish that was the case lol).

**Jackie** - posted on 03/27/2012

Audra..."you'll certainly never get it if you don't ask for it"...



That's not true at all......buy it yourself.

Audra - posted on 03/27/2012

Personally, I see a registry as a wish list. It's not unheard of for multiple people to go in on one large gift, and if you need an expensive item like a crib or a changing table, you'll certainly never get it if you don't ask for it.

Candace - posted on 03/26/2012

I don't see anything wrong with it personally. If I was having another child that was a different sex I would have a shower. As for it you have the same sex as before, I do feel that it is tacky unless you are in the situation that you are in. I would think about all the people that you gave your baby stuff away to, they should be more than willing to help you with your baby since you did the same for them. Hey you may be able to even get some of your stuff back if they aren't using it anymore. If these people are truly your friends though, it shouldn't matter that you just had a shower for your first child.

Dawn - posted on 03/26/2012

it was not specifically directed to just you...it wasn't intended to be, but some very judgmental comments were made on here. It's one thing to offer one's opinion, but another entirely to assume someone's character based on a possible decision.



However, I am very happy that you responded, and you do not have to apologize. You are correct that you have every right to voice your opinion as you did...I just get offended when people call my character into question even after I specifically stated that it's not about getting gifts or expecting ppl to get me things. It would be nice if people would read the whole post before submitting their "opinions" is all.



Thank you again, though. =] (and yes, i would be embarrassed to see such a huge item on a reg. too >.> that's just messed up). and I don't have any storage to speak of so DEFINITELY no room for totes lol...old house...small closets and no attic or basement =p fun times!

**Jackie** - posted on 03/26/2012

Dawn, I was one of the moms who you categorized as "nay sayers" so I am assuming your post is directed towards me...



I am not, nor was I ever being judgmental. When you post a question, you are going to get all sorts of answers. I answered and it was an opinion...and my opinion only. If I hurt your feelings or made you uncomfortable I want you to know I am sorry and it was not my intent at all.



I think it is a great idea to put "gifts optional", btw.



Whatever you and your friend/family members decide to do is what is best for you guys. I was just saying how I felt.



Also, I have seen registries with $1000 cribs on it. It was a major shock and I felt embarrassed for the mother...and even more embarrassed when she didn't get it. Also, I totally get that after 2 years you would have gotten rid of most of the baby's stuff too. I just don't have the room for a bunch of totes.



Anyway, Congrats on your 2nd baby :) and have fun at your shower.

Dawn - posted on 03/26/2012

to all the nay says out there I just want to be clear that never said ANYTHING about expecting people to buy me stuff. That would just be plain rude and INDEED tacky. I want ppl to come to share the joy I have for my 2nd baby...not just to shell out gifts. I am no qualms over buying clothes and things, but usually people eat that up, and CHOOSE to buy something.



I was OK with making a registry at one store and putting on the invites GIFTS TOTALLY OPTIONAL (reg. for suggestions ONLY) but diapers and wipes of ll sizes are greatly appreciated.



I see nothing wrong with that. and I would NEVER (and frankly I would be shocked if anyone would) put expensive items on a registry. If someone offers to buy a big ticket item I may want or need then that is totally up to them (my parents for example offered to buy a new stroller since our 1st one got damaged in a car wreck, but gave me a price range).



So, how is that being greedy? I think it's pretty crappy of some of you to just assume that because I was considering having a second shower that I am just some greedy jerk (or any mom for that matter). Maybe some of them are, but I'm not them.



And furthermore, if I have a girl, my BFF was going to give me all of her baby girl clothes b/c she is no longer having children (tubes tied). So chances are I will need very little anyway.



Yes...it was poor judgement to get rid of stuff, but after almost 2 years and no more kids at that point i figured we were done, and had no discussions of future children any time soon. (let's just say that next time we will use more than just condoms...) so it's not like we were just throwing caution to the wind.



I think people need to be a bit more helpful and far less judgmental. thanks to those of you who offered constructive comments and criticisms...it is truly appreciated. My grandma-in-law and my bff Cat are going to throw one together for me...didn't even have to ask, so I guess whether I wanted one or not I'm getting one lol. I'll just stick with my "gifts optional" idea.

Marie - posted on 03/25/2012

In my family as soon as they find out I was pregnant they were already making plans for the second baby shower.My first born is 2 years old and i'm expecting my second in September. A baby shower for us is more about celebrating the new baby and every time someone one we love and care about is having a baby you can be sure there will be a baby shower. It doesn't matter if it's their first child or not. :)

Tatiana - posted on 03/25/2012

exactly :D

Tatiana - posted on 03/25/2012

I agree...registries are useful. Especially for things like baby showers. I don't want to waste my money buying this they don't need or want...or that someone else is getting them. Who needs 2 breast pumps? doesn't mean people are obligated to stick to it, just gives people an idea of what is needed.

Tatiana - posted on 03/25/2012

I don't see a problem with having a second baby shower. I'm having one, which my friends actually suggested and are helping me throw. I also did not intend on having a second child so I have away EVERYTHING up to 18 months, clothes, crib, changing table, baby toys, even maternity clothes and nursing bras. So I'm going to need new things, and really the bulk of things I'm asking for aren't that expensive just sets of onesies, sets of baby towels, wash cloths, burp cloths...I wouldn't expect anyone to buy me a crib or car seat, but I think if you invite good friends they won't have any problem and will actually be happy to help out by buying the smaller things you will surely need. Also, if you have friends with kids, they can just give you the things their kids no longer need!

Tabitha - posted on 03/24/2012

It's not tacky to celebrate the birth of all your children. The questionable part is when you're expecting to make a list of what you want so that people will buy it for you the 2nd, 3rd(or whatever) time around. At which point to you provide the basics for your own child? The party is fine, that's why some people have a "intro party" or "meet the baby" party after baby's arrival. It's great to celebrate the arrival of your children. Guests will still bring gifts but you've not asked for them or given them a list for them to choose from. I guess the problem I have with it is it appears your asking for hand-outs, especially since it's been less than 2 years since your last shower. But everyone has their own opinion and makes their own decisions. Think about how your friends and family are and make the decision from there.



Also, I want to point out that you're not really suppose to put on your own shower. Your friends and family are the ones that should handle that. So if they're wanting to do that for you then I guess you'll have your answer right there about how they feel about a 2nd shower. You can, however, host your own "meet the baby party" or whatever else they're called.

Mary - posted on 03/24/2012

i have 2 boys 20 months apart. i had a shower for both of them. I loved both of them! you should celebrate your new little one, just as much as your first.



Congrats!

Melissa - posted on 03/23/2012

ive heard this so many times, and i personally think its snoby to judge anyone for such a thing. Who is anyone to say wether or not you need things for your new baby?? I recently had as urprise shower for my expecting sister in law and i knew she was gonna be upset because of what ppl would think and ill tell you what i told her, who ever shares that opinion doesnt have to come, the people who love you and enjoy doing all they can to lend a helping hand will RSVP and thats that. Dont let other ppl's opinions stand in your way.

Kodi - posted on 03/17/2012

I did my son was 3 when i had my daughter but he was from a previous marraige, and she was the first grandkid, but im my family we have baby showers for all the babies because for us its more of a celebration than a "getting stuff" kinda thing, babies are a good thing and i think its more of celebrating the fact that they are coming and we are happy, with friends of mine that dont have a shower, theier family just still buys them stuff periodically and when the baby is born, so why not celebrate? i would say go for it!

Stevie - posted on 03/17/2012

Go for it, I am due in Oct. and My son is turing 4 next month. The seasons will be off if I have another Boy, and then if I have a girl I dont have any clothes. I have most of the big stuff already, so it would only be for essentials and stuff. But last time my baby showers were weak. No one really came to them and my husbands family didnt really know so I hope to have a surprise one this time!

Tabitha - posted on 03/17/2012

Yes, a 2nd baby shower is tacky. The exception is if there's several years between your 1st and 2nd. The "baby shower" is a party for preparation. Being your second child in just a few short years, most assume you're already prepared. I would have an arrival party or "meet the baby" party after the baby is born, most people will bring a gift anyway. If there are specific things you need, ask family and close friends for help.



By the way, it almost never fails. As soon as you get rid of your baby stuff, you end up pregnant again. Always keep some stuff in a tote in the garage or something.

Helen - posted on 03/14/2012

go ahead and ave one huni every baby should be celebrated as much in england we dont tend to have baby showers but i would if we did it would come in handy recieving a few things and would be nice chance for family get together b4 ur knee high in dirty nappies and baby sick lol x

Anna - posted on 03/09/2012

In just February I went to 3 baby showers. One for the first baby, one for the second baby and one for the fourth baby! I bought each a gift because it doesn't matter what number that child is, each of them is special and deserve to have a special day and a few things that are JUST FOR THEM!! Have that baby shower and if people want to be nasty about it then let them. Your second child deserves it too :) That being said, I have one and have no intention of having another, however if I do get pregnant *ugh* then I would definitely have a baby shower regardless of the child's sex! Have fun and enjoy

Shelby - posted on 03/08/2012

I had 2 baby showers with my first, one before my daughter was born that i had with my side of the family and a few friends, Then i had one after my daughter was born that was throw by my boyfriends mom. She actually got mad that i was having a baby shower before my due date she basically said it was selfish and that a baby shower is not for the mom its for the baby and becuase we didnt know the sex of the baby it was pointless BUT I had one anyways and i got all the things i actually needed like a carseat, stroller, playpen and tonnes of diapers, clothes, towels and other toiletries. Second baby shower I got everything you could imagine for a girl. Everything is pink. Now were having another one, also not finding out the sex of this one. A few of my friends had a `` meet and greet`` after the baby was about 3 weeks- a month old where people would come and meet the baby, have some appys and brought gifts if they wished, that is probably what i will do too.

Cheyene - posted on 03/08/2012

So not tacky! Its time to celebrate! I've had friends that did a hand-me-down shower if you are truly worried people will have a problem with a second shower. I have two children, they are 9 years apart, but I had a shower for both of them and everyone came to both of them we even did a " bring your favorite food" pot luck and it was fabulous! Get creative and have fun with it!! ;>) I hope you have a wonderful time!

Teresa - posted on 03/08/2012

I love when people have registries cuz I'm no good at gift shopping. I prefer to get something I KNOW a person will want and use over just something I 'think' they may want.... and may end up never using. I've never thought of a registry for anything as greedy or tacky... just helpful.



Too bad all the kid birthday parties I go to don't have registries. ;) lol

Marilis - posted on 03/08/2012

I had a baby shower for both of my kids too and they are only ONE YEAR apart!!!!

**Jackie** - posted on 03/08/2012

Dana, I like freecycle!! Anyway, I couldn't agree more. The origin of a baby shower was not originally for celebrating the baby. It was to welcome a woman into motherhood with a party.



My cousin just had her second child and she had a barbeque in her backyard. Everyone got to meet the baby and,of course, there were people that brought her stuff. I made her a basket of my must-haves. A mommy hook, pacifier clips, every kind of wipe you can think of, a gift card to a nail salon for a pedicure, and a few other little things. There were people there that made a dish for the party, or just came to chat. This one woman hand-made these vouchers that said "One free house cleaning" lol it was so cute. Doesn't mean we didn't love the second child any less. It just would have been tacky to tell us to go out again and get stuff....and not just any stuff, but things that she put on her registry...ugh

Dana - posted on 03/07/2012

Nobody said that a baby is not worth celebrating. Showers are meant to get you started off. Consider second hand stores for clothing, toys, and books. Children are expensive, but there are other ways around this than having a second shower. People will still bring you gifts when they visit. I also use a site called "freecycle" People will post things here that they are offering to others, or you can post here things that are wanted and needed. It's a great "give and take" source in your local community.

Heather - posted on 03/07/2012

I am a firm believer that ALL babies need to be celebrated. I don't think you should have another shower to get free stuff, but rather to share your joy with others. Others do like to show their joy with gifts though. :D My cousin is throwing me a shower for this pregnancy next month. I have a five year old daughter and I am expecting a son. I am picky about what decor, clothing, and diapers goes on my child, so most stuff I receive will be returned/exchanged. Why do women insist on buying ugly little premmie outfits for baby showers? Do they honestly think the baby will be small long enough to use them? Anyway, sorry about the wild tangent. I'm hormonal. :)

**Jackie** - posted on 03/07/2012

I don't know if I would go as far as saying greedy BUT, to me it's saying "hey guys! I'm pregnant and I am not prepared nor do I plan on buying most things! Get your credit cards out even though we are in a recession and many of you may either be unemployed, in debt, or just plain broke!"

Leyla - posted on 03/07/2012

I think it is greedy

Jennifer - posted on 03/07/2012

Have a second shower. The people who are your friends and family will understand. And truly, each life is important and worth a celebration! :) Even if you don't get gifts for the second child, you are still celebrating their life. Think of it as their "pre-birthday" party! I am having my second child, and my first is now 2.5 years old, and I am having a shower for my second child. It is not fair that one child has baby book page filled with cards and pictures for a baby shower and the second one would not because my distant friends find it "tacky". I don't care what they think, I am having one as each life is special, different and deserves recognition. However, I am making it into less of an actual baby shower and more into a Saturday afternoon gathering of friends.

**Jackie** - posted on 03/07/2012

Shannon, cute story but I feel that you have missed the original post. There was a question asked and I, along with a lot of other mothers, gave our suggestions. No one here, that I can read of, is being judgmental at all.



Considering that you started and ended with a hostile comment, I am assuming that one of those negative nellies is me?



We are all allowed to give our opinion. If you can't handle this thread, I suggest you steer clear from Debating Mums :) Another suggestion.

Shannon - posted on 03/06/2012

These posts are hysterical to me! Can we say judgemental? I personally believe that it is totally up to the mom-to-be and whomever may wish to throw the shower(s). I had a really big and elaborate baby shower for my first baby girl, which was thrown by my best friend, my mom, and my MIL. Once I became pregnant with my second baby girl about two years later, a couple of my really close girlfriends decided that they really wanted to throw me another shower. My second baby shower was more informal and we invited less people. I did not request a second baby shower, but my friends really wanted to celebrate me and my baby-to-be! I had a really tough pregnancy that was riddled with complications, so the ladies of my life really felt the need to rejoice with me in the upcoming delivery of my precious baby. After many requests, I did end up registering, although I had NO expectations of receiving gifts. We already had most of what we needed. Also, although I had never heard of subsequent baby showers, I hosted one for my sister when she was expecting her second. I was happy to celebrate for a second time. In my opinion, you don't have to agree with it to support the ones you love! Us women should stick together, especially during monumental occasions such as the births of babies. Just as I would support a friend or family member who wished to not have a subsequent shower or to receive gifts, I would happily support one who wished to be celebrated again. I am just glad that I am surrounded by the particular group of women in my life. I feel sorry for any women out there whose "support groups" consist of some of these "negative nellies" on this discussion! I would be one depressed momma!

Julie - posted on 03/06/2012

Never expect anything from anyone and you will not be disappointed -



Baby clothes can be very cross-gendered...



There are always stores that sell 2nd hand items for very little, as well as Thrift stores, etc., Cloth diapers will save you bookoo bucks (trust me!)



♥ enjoy those babies! ;o)

Monique - posted on 03/06/2012

A baby shower is to shower the baby with gifts hence the name "baby shower". Most people only have a shower for the 1st baby. If someone wants to have one for you.......

why not!

Memorie - posted on 03/06/2012

gifts*

Memorie - posted on 03/06/2012

a birthday is different from a baby shower...so really grow up, we are stating our opinions and if you guys wanna get offended over it then really you shouldnt be on a website that people post their opinions on.



If you want to have a celebration there are ways in doing so without making people think your expecting gifts...like on the invitations you can put girfts not nesessary or no gifts please. Or you can wait until the baby is born and have a welcome home party for the baby in which you celebrate the birth of your baby.



:D

Beverley - posted on 03/06/2012

If you don't need anything big, the have these parties called "sprinkles". It is almost like a shower, but doesn't include the huge gifts that you would get at a first time shower. here is a link with some fun ideas. Hope it turns out well for you!



http://www.101babyshowerideas.com/sprink...

Brianne - posted on 03/06/2012

If you haven't decided by now, I had a Diaper party/welcome party for my second, we got rid of most of our oldest daughters clothing, and toys she'd outgrown (including stroller and carseat) because I wasn't suppose to even be able to get pregnant the 1st time. We insured I wouldn't by putting in an IUD (lo and beyond 20mths later I went to the hospital dehydrated and found out I was pregnant). My daughters are exactly 2 1/2yrs apart. We are not planning on a third, but if we do I will do the same thing for them. Not a lot of people came to the party, but it made me feel better that they were the center of attention for that day, like their big sibling was. I say throw the party and if they don't want to come no one is forcing them. As for registry I'd stick to essentials that way they know you're not trying to be greedy or "take them for what they have".

Karen - posted on 03/06/2012

First off, you'll never make EVERYONE happy no matter how hard you try so I wouldn't worry about them!

Where I'm from it's not even thought twice of - you have a shower for every baby you have. They're all special and deserve a special party.

If you're not comfortable with a shower, have a diaper party. I've seen it written on diaper party invites that items other then diapers and wipes are welcome as the new parents no longer have many of the essentials for baby.

Amber - posted on 03/06/2012

I really believe that if you find yourself pregnant with a second child and it is a different sex than the first that it is not tacky at all!! also in a situation where you gave away stuff and didn't plan on having a second child then no a baby shower is not tacky for the second child at all. do not worry about offending anyone or upsetting them!! if they know you and know you gave most of the baby stuff away then they should understand that you are going to be needing things for this child!

Rebecca - posted on 03/05/2012

Have a baby "sprinkle." It's much smaller than a baby shower. Invite only those closest to you. If you register for gifts just get necessities. Bottles, diapers, things like that. With the age difference I don't find it tacky at all. Good luck!

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2012

My daughter is 2 years old and I am due in a mo. with a boy. My husband and I have bought the things we need or want for this baby but my mother, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law have decided to throw a shower to celebrate the arrival of this baby. I dont think its tacky, I think its celebrating a life and celebrating the exciting addition to your family.

**Jackie** - posted on 03/05/2012

I am with the people that think it's tacky. A baby shower for your first baby is to welcome you to motherhood and to bring something that might help you.... coincidentally, those things that can help you are normally baby gifts. Then we started registering places so that since it was pretty much a given that people would be bringing a gift, you could at least get what you wanted or needed.



Having a baby shower for the second one is basically saying "ok, time to do it again, please bring something". Just my opinion but I will not have one for my second child.



My friend had a son and then 9 years later got pregnant with a girl, She had not married her son's father, but instead the father of the baby she was pregnant with. Her husband's mother threw the shower. No one said anything about it. That is an exception. Then again, I'm probably just saying that because she is a dear friend.

Stifler's - posted on 03/05/2012

It's your responsibility in the first place to buy your own baby things not just with the second kid but whatever...

Belinda - posted on 03/05/2012

A baby shower isn't the way to celebrate the baby. It welcomes the mother to motherhood. You're already a mother, so there's no need for another shower. You can have a party after baby arrives to celebrate the baby. Guests may choose to bring a gift, but it isn't expected. Any party that has the word 'shower' in the title comes with the expectation of bringing a gift. For that reason, you definitely should not be hosting a shower for yourself.



Your choice to give away all your baby stuff doesn't obligate others to replace them. That's your responsibility. If someone wants to contribute, that's their business. But it's rude to expect them to by throwing a shower. Feel free to register. But don't share the registry with anyone. Registries come with the benefit of a convenient wish list for you to keep track of the items you want. And you get the added bonus of a completion coupon near your due date. But nobody else needs to know of the existence of your registry- unless they specifically ask.



You should plan and prepare for your baby by purchasing everything you'll need. And start planning a meet-the-baby party for after the baby gets here.

Tamryn - posted on 03/04/2012

For those who think it is tacky should your second or third child have a 1st Birthday Party or is that tacky too? It's not like the baby will need new gifts they can just use the ones the first child isn't playing with and besides what does a one year old know about cake and presents anyway.

I think have as many showers to celebrate each special and unique life. Great excuse to get the girlfriends around for some cake and gushing over newborn clothes.