showering with 7 year old

Mandy - posted on 03/18/2010 ( 99 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of a 7 year old little angel and was wondering if anyone has ever come acroos the question "when is too old to shower with mommy"? i do not shave in front of her as i dont want her getting any ideas. i help her wash her hair and then she cleans herself and she gets out as i continue to shower. save time and water, right?

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Lyndsay - posted on 03/18/2010

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I personally think 7 is pretty old. People in my house were exhibitionists, both my younger sister and brother walked around naked until they were like 10 or 11 so I think I may have something of a complex over this... but I really think that clothing is made for a reason and once your kids are old enough to realize the differences between a man and a woman it becomes time for a little privacy.

Sarah - posted on 03/24/2010

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I personally think its wrong! but thats my opinion but i have heard this talked about on discovery health channel or something like that and they said to stop when the child can tell the difference between genders! you can still teach her how to bathe herself in the bath! All of the people i know that have showered with their parents past age 4 are they people that would rather walk around with no clothes on now as adults! i remember taking showers with my mother and i stopped when i was young and it just bothered me so much that i will not change in front of her or anyone else for that matter! it made me very uncomfortable with my body and talking about it with my mother! but each person is different! if you want to continue doing it by all means do it! if you and your child are okay with it then so be it! i just don't see how i would be able to do what with my child at such an old age! like i said this is just my opinion!

Alison - posted on 03/23/2010

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I don't think you should ever shower with your children. You sweat more than your child does, and by showering together it washes off on her. Bathing children together is a different story. Also- what is she going to think of mommy when she grows up and remembers that you always had to shower together? I think it would be much healthier to teach her to shower by herself, she is SEVEN years old!

Robyn - posted on 03/22/2010

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i understand where everyone is coming from, but I don't think it should be up to the kids to decide when to stop. First of all, Mommy needs some alone time/privacy(i think you've earned a shower by yourself!), Second--do you really want her to have life-long memories of her Mom naked? just a thought... if you both really enjoy it, you could always throw on a bathing suit until she gets out.

Ashlea - posted on 03/20/2010

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My daughter is 13 months old and I don't even shower with her. It is very much a comfort issue with everybody. My daughter needs her own space in the bath..it is very easy to teach them to wash their bodies and their hair while they are alone in the bath with you sitting there by them. I never showered/bathed with my mother either...and neither did the rest of my siblings. Same as sleeping with your parents. I quit letting my daughter sleep with me when she was 2 mos old.

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Jessie - posted on 03/25/2010

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I think 7 is a bit old i can still remember memorys from that age and i dnt think i wanna remember my mum in the shower with me (just saying) but she is YOUR daughter and this is your decision no one elses

Shanon - posted on 03/25/2010

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I don't see any problem with it. If you are comfortable and she is comfortable then I don't see any problem. You are the one who will be responsible for teaching her all of the female issues that we deal with and if she see's that you are comfortable with the female form around her, it will make her more comfortable to come to you with questions and concerns as she grows up. I think if you act like nudity and the naked body is an shame then she will not feel so open tward you with her questions. Just my two cents :)

ANDREA - posted on 03/25/2010

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Boy! I am of Finnish decent so we take authentic saunas (fyi it is pronounced sow-nuh) and authentic saunas involve nudity. Each family unit saunas together until the kids are at "that" age and then you go with either the womens group or the mens group.

I don't see anything wrong with showering with your little girl. The time to stop is when one of you gets uncomfortable.

Kelly - posted on 03/25/2010

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my daughter is 5 and i do it sometimes... dont think anything is wrong with it at all

Caroline - posted on 03/25/2010

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i don't think there's anything wrong with it, but 8-9 yrs i think it should stop x

Simone - posted on 03/25/2010

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Well, I have a Son, so maybe that's a Different thing. we have one of those Shower Heads with a hose on it that you can take down and that's how we shower him down. He is 1 yr 8 months. The only time he will get to shower/bath with us is when my husband or I are already in the tub and it is really quicker. And I am really going to go the way that once he is old enough to know how to shower by himself, he will do it by himself.

My Mom used to take me along in the shower and I think it's highly inappropriate.

Melisa - posted on 03/25/2010

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I would say with what she was comfortable with. My children are still trying to get back in the shower with me but I happen to like the room. I was still in my teenage years when I was speaking to my mother as she showered. It was like having a little girl time with out the males knowing what we were talking about. I try not to hide too much about being female with my girls as I know they will be facing the same things that I did. It makes for having a more open and comfortable relationship that most mum's seem to forget about. And the authorities forget about this being the most important time through their lives. So enjoy it.

Sarah - posted on 03/24/2010

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i agree that 8-9 is a good age to stop showering w your daughter. Although it may seem strange to some people (it did to me at first) for yo to be showering w your 7yr old.. i thought about my almost 6yr old, that i still shower with. If youre comfortable showering together, I say, why not! GO GREEN♥

Deana - posted on 03/24/2010

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I have a 7 year old and to me that's pretty old to still be showering with mommy. She takes showers by herself I just help her with her hair because it is VERY long. Everyone is different but 7 that's a little old.

Brandy - posted on 03/24/2010

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I personally have not showered with my daughter since she learned how to sit up on her own. She is 6 now and started taking showers about a year or more ago. I stand by the shower to make sure she is ok and help if she needs any, but at that age they are pretty self sufficiant enough to not need an adult in there with them.

Krystal - posted on 03/24/2010

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I don't see a problem. Soon enough she'll be in highschool and have to take communal showers and even in college you have shared showers/bathrooms. At least you know she's showering right and soon when she doesn't want to she let you know.

Mandy - posted on 03/24/2010

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thats all i am saying people....i dont want my child to be called the stinky girl at school because i just let her go at herself and be all independent...teaching her how to clean herself and how to do it is my goal...i do not plan on being in there forever but i want to honestly know that she can get herself clean without my help... plus it is a good bonding time and that is when she asks me questions, most non-body related..its a time to talk about what she wants to and no one else is around...remember those days when they were babies and the bonding while bathing happened, its like that...i want her to know that she will be able to come to me no matter what, shower or no shower!!!!

Tonya - posted on 03/24/2010

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I never really bathed or showered with my girls and never at all with my son, but there were occasions where I did shower with the girls. When the girls turned 4 I stopped doing it at all. I would just sit in the bathroom with them while they took baths/showers and help as needed, but they both washed themselves off and rinsed just fine. In fact, the only thing they would let me help with was washing their hair. It gave them a sense of independence which they enjoyed. Another reason was because I wanted and enjoyed the relaxing time and I just felt it was time to stop. I understand why you do it, it does save water, time and money in the end. I also understand that you want to teach proper showering/bathing hygiene and be there to help. Those are all good reasons to do it but you can just as effectively teach a child proper bathing/showering hygiene simply by sitting on the sidelines. I honestly think that 7 is a little old to be bathing/showering with mommy though.

Heather - posted on 03/24/2010

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I personally think that is a little too old to take showers with her. I think for the most part at that age, she should be able to wash her own hair and body. Maybe a little supervision so she doesnt just play and waste time (as most kids will in the shower) But that is just an opinion

Melanie - posted on 03/24/2010

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I shower with my daughter ( she is 6 will be 7 in July ) I do not think it's a bad idea & trust that she will tell me when she is ready to be alone. She will take a bath by her self but there is times where she wants to get in with me or I want to get bath time done & over with. I think it's a good way for her to learn about her body and how to take care of it. Better I teacher her then some one else.

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2010

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she's also a girl so it's a lot different if its a boy i'd say 4 it a good age they ask questions and are so curious to be showering with mom but for girls idk i mean i guess what ever is comfortable for you and her im sure when shes 10 or 11 she'll want her own space in the shower lol

Ashley - posted on 03/24/2010

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I think it depends on the situation. With a girl you guys both pretty much have the same body and explain to her the birds and the bees when the time is right. My son is 4 and already wants to shower by himself and doesnt want help getting dressed and closes the door when he uses the bathroom because he understands that we dont watch anyone of the opposite sex do those things.

April - posted on 03/24/2010

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i would think she would tell you if or when she became uncomfortable with showering with you. she's at an age where she is probably wondering what her body is supposed to look like and since you're her mom, it's kinda like a lesson more than something creepy.

Melissa - posted on 03/24/2010

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boys, i think it's still a comfort thin, when you or he is not comfortable showering together, don't. i showered today with my 22 month old and my boyfriend... it's about comfort...

Summer - posted on 03/24/2010

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I agree completely with Shawna. It would be different with a boy but since it is your little girl I would say no worries. We all need to conserve water right now anyway. :-)

Meghan - posted on 03/24/2010

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I think it's a little old but I don't see anything "wrong" with it...I just like having my own shower lol. My son is 17 months old and sometimes we shower together to save time. But even though he doesn't know the difference between gender he tweeks and grabs and pulls things...just makes it a hassel. I think becaue you have a daughter it's different. If you have a son I think showering with mommy has to stop when they fully understand the difference.

Heather - posted on 03/24/2010

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As long as you and her are both comfortable with taking a shower together i don't see a problem. When i was ready to shower by myself i told mother what i wanted and she let me shower alone but made me keep the door unlocked incase i needed her. And at times i did need her. She was always there when i needed her but she did give me my space.

Brittany - posted on 03/24/2010

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I Dont See anything Wrong with It..My Daugther is almost 3 and we still shower together..she is very attached to me and likes taking Shpwers with me i will continue to let her until i think she is too old ..but your both girls so i dont see the big deal..Cause if she is curious about her self she wont be scared to ask you cause she is comfortable with her self

Tabatha - posted on 03/24/2010

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My daughetrs 4 montsh odl and shes gettign to big for her little ellivation thing that came in her tub and her tub so i have been takign baths with her... bcuz we dont live with her father its hard to give her a bath in the tub on her own.

Tabatha - posted on 03/24/2010

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I think because you are mommy that its fine and if shes curious on her body thats a good way now if she was a boy i think it would be different.

Lillian - posted on 03/24/2010

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She is your daughter and if both of you are comfortable with it then what does it matter. My sister and I took a shower with my mom for a very long time. We only stopped because I wanted to have my time in the shower. I enjoyed that time with my mom because that is when we had "our time". I don't shower with my 3 year old son, but he showers with daddy. She will tell you when she is ready to take showers on her own.

Alexis - posted on 03/24/2010

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Theres not really a right or wrong answer(especially with same sex), its what your comfertable with and how independent you want your daughter to be now or how independent she wants to be. When she starts asking curious questions then answer them with age appropriate answers, I personally dont feel that one should avoid a childs questions no matter the subject just give answers that are appropriate. Who better to teach her than mom!

Tera - posted on 03/24/2010

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as you have a daughter that is showering with her mom then i believe that it is ok until she is about 9 or tells you she wants to be by herself, if it was a son then i think that it should stop at 2 or 3 when they start to understand that there is a difference between you and them, but it would be ok for them to shower with dad. same applies for a daughter shower with dad.

Christina - posted on 03/24/2010

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i dont see any prob w/ it. if she isnt uncomfortable w/ it, then i dont see a prob w/ it. but when she is ready to be a big girl and take a bath or shower on her own, then you should let her. you will prob still be using the same amount of time and water if you let her take one really fast then you get in.

Stephanie - posted on 03/24/2010

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My 7 year old girl bathes with me and with me all the time. I agree with the shaving thing but the bathing is totally appropriate with a 7 year old in my opinion. Although I do not have any kids older so I don't have a response for how old is too old to bath with mommy. I think as long as she wants to bath with mommy it is perfectly fine.

Tanya - posted on 03/24/2010

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my thoughts on this subject are that i think that you shouldnt shower with your kids at all. when they are babies they should be bathed, and when they get to the stage where they want to have a shower, i think that they should be in the shower by themself, and the parents can supervise them, and help them wash if they cant themself, but standing out of the shower and not in there with the child. the reason i belive this is that if you do shower with them, they will get the idea that its acceptable and can do that with anybody. but thats only my opinion. im not the sort of person to judge anybody and how they parent, if you want to do that, i have no problem, but that is how i feel.

Sarah - posted on 03/24/2010

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I don't have a problem with it. I also don't quite understand the opinion that when they start asking questions its time to stop. Why? If a child notices differences between themselves and a parent, its not hard to talk to them and explain it. I would much rather teach my children then have them feel ashamed for asking questions and being inquisitive. But maybe that's just me.

Stephanie - posted on 03/23/2010

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i dont think there is anything wrong with it, she is a girl after all, it would be different if u had a boy, i dont let my 5 yr old son shower with me but my 1 yr old daughter showers with me, i beleive she will tell u when she wants to go it alone they always do....

Krystal - posted on 03/23/2010

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I think you all good but she should have a few on her own to get independence and learn self hygene on her own but I dont think ur doing her any harm

Cynthia - posted on 03/23/2010

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i just can't help but remember taking a bath with my brother when i was younger, my parents bathed with their siblings when they were younger. it's not sick unless you can come up with a reason for it to be so. if you want to find fault in something, you are going to find it. seriously, if the only mistake we make in our parenting is sleeping with our children, which i do and have no intention of stopping, or bathing, etc i would say that is a job well done!

KELLY - posted on 03/23/2010

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well what i can say my dear is that yes she is too old to be getting in the shower with mommy. You say you don't want her to get any ideas but what are you giving her know by showering with her mommy. And saving time is wrong cause it gives her time to learn about what she can do for herself but still let her know mommy is still here u know. Saving water that will never work any way you want to put it or say it. But she will let you know when she is ready..........

Emily - posted on 03/23/2010

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I guess I don't understand why it's so hard to let your child take a bath by themselves...as long as you supervise at the youngers ages... I personally NEVER showered with my mother, and neither did my siblings. There was plenty of water...time...and soap for all of us to shower/bathe separately. I was bathing completely by myself without supervision when I was about 5-6. All my parents had to do was tell me to use soap, shampoo and to rinse. I guess it's a matter of actually wanting to encourage and teach your child how to do something on their own. I'm not trying to bash anybody's opinions on this issue. We all have our opinions and that's perfectly fine. I just personally don't agree with children and parents showering together. The same with co-sleeping. It just shouldn't happen. Those are two things that need to be done separately. Good luck.

[deleted account]

My 7 year-old daughter takes most of her showers by herself (she takes a shower every night after dinner). However, about once or twice a month I hop in with her to super scrub her hair and make sure she is using the loofa correctly. I am only in there with her for the first part of her shower, then I hop out and let her play in the water a bit (she likes singing and such when she's done washing). Also, a lot of times her younger sister (who's 2) will hop in with her. Our oldest puts soap in the loofa and gives it to the 2 year-old, who then washes herself just like she saw her big sister doing it. I think it's a great way for the 2 year-old to learn how to take a shower and they both love sharing their shower with each other!



On a related note, our oldest did stop hopping in her daddy's shower when she was around 5 years old. That's when she started being more self-concious of her body and how it was different from daddy's. Also, for the 6 months after her 3rd birthday it was just her and her daddy in the home (she is my step-daughter and her biological mother left right after she turned 3. I came into the picture 6 months after she left and I have been here ever since). He had to either take the time to make her a bath, or bring her into his shower if he was in a hurry, so she got used to it. When she was 5 however, she stopped wanting to shower with her daddy on her own and started wanting me in her shower instead (if she wasn't taking a bath).



As a side note, she started taking her own showers at 6.

Amber - posted on 03/23/2010

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Age seven is the last year I showered with mine, after that I figured she was old enough to do it by her self.

Cynthia - posted on 03/23/2010

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if she starts acting as if she is uncomfortable with showering with you, then it is time to stop. if it works for you, and it's an innocent thing, it isn't anyone's business. you are the one who makes the decision about what is best for your family.

Rhiannon - posted on 03/23/2010

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I still shower with mine, but they are very young. I think if you suddenly stop with only the explanation that it is innappropriate, that will do more harm than good. So long as you are both comfortable and relaxed, it is fine.

Tessa - posted on 03/23/2010

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When a child expresses their own wishes for privacy is the time to stop. If people have a problem with showering with an older child due to sexuality etc it just shows that they are having dirty thoughts about the kids to feel uncomfortable. The problem is in their own mind rather than the situation. In which case they probabl;y SHOULDN"T be showering with children.

There is nothing sexual about showering together and as you said it saves water!
We are on rain tank only and we each shower with one child to conserve our water usage. I have no problem with my husband showering with either of our girls, even as they get older.
Our 3 year old refuses to shower with me and prefers to have her shower with Josh. They use it as a bonding opportunity and play counting ans colour games with Hannah's shower toys. It's great to see them use every chance to bond and learn :)

Arlen - posted on 03/23/2010

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Hi, I don't have any girls but I do have a boy who is 9. What I was told is that when they start asking questions about their privates and yours then you may stop since they are awakening to much curiosity but who knows I am not expert. Good luck!

Rachelle - posted on 03/23/2010

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my daughter is 4 months old and we take our baths together and her daddy with her she will probably stop when she gets old enough to notice but i personaly dont see anything wrong with it

Crystal - posted on 03/23/2010

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Ithink if you both are comfortable then by all means go for it. I have been asking myself the same question as well, although i have boys. I have 3 sons age 7 years, 6 years and almost 2 years. I have never showere with my oldest or youngest, but my middle son jumps in with me all the time. He also has Autism and is obsessed with water and will jump in will me, his father or any one of his brothers. I dont feel uncomfortable with it just yet, though im sure i will have to stop it soon, since he is getting older. He just wants to play in the water. And becasue of his autism he is mentally behind his age group also. We are all pretty open with each other and i will walk in on them and they with me (excetp for a certin week of the month were i bann them from coming in..) But if they request some privacy then they are given it.
I think though if everyone is still comfortable then its fine.

Rebecca - posted on 03/23/2010

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As long as you're both comfortable, I really don't see the problem. As you said, as long as maybe the shaver is left out of the picture then it's just a little fun and most likely easier and quicker on you.

Erin - posted on 03/23/2010

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I dont see a problem with it at all.... I remember showering with my mom til like the 4th grade! Im not traumatized or anything! The whole shaving thing... dont see a problem with that as long as you teach her how to do that the right way... I started shaving at an early age myself, I begged my mom to let me! Whenever she thinks she is ready!!

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