Sibling rivalry

Ary - posted on 08/10/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Help! My two boys (ages 4 and almost 2) have very similar interests, and they've gotten into the habit of picking the same toy (out of the zillion that they have between them) and fight over it. I have just been taking it away from both of them, and giving both of them a time-out for fighting. Does anyone have a better way to deal with this one? I'm very consistent with this, but it always seems to happen again the very next day. Is it a phase? Should I just resign myself to my hubby's and my closet being full of confiscated toys? Any advice is appreciated =)

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Elizabeth - posted on 08/11/2010

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try giving thema warning first and say if you can not play nicely together then I will take it away, if that does not work then take it off of them but tell them why, always explain to them, after a couple of days ask them why you are taking it off them, it should not take them long to realise, try sitting with them for 5 mins and show them that if they play with different items, say 2 different cars then they can play together sharing and taking it in turns with different toys, also try giving them a chart of who plays with that toy and time them for say 5 mins each them when their time is up tell them that it is the other ones turn now, etc... I have 3 kids who were like this they soon realised that sharing is the best way!!!! they are now 11, 9 and 7

Ary - posted on 08/11/2010

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Thank you, Shana and Jessi! Ahh, the world of boys indeed! Lol, I have one brother and two sisters, and we're all farther apart in age than my two, so the fighting over the same toy didn't really happen so much. My 4 year old never has a problem with sharing with his friends at preschool, but when it comes to his brother, he always says "he's gonna break it!!!" Sooo, looks like hubby and I will be dealing with a ton of toys in our closet for a few years, lol!

Jessi - posted on 08/11/2010

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rivalry is going to happen no matter what you do! my brothers are only 1yr 4mos apart and there has always been rivalry between them...you can't stop it! however, instead of giving them a time-out simply do as you stated and take the 1 toy away and if it continues just keep taking toys away until they learn to share.

Shana - posted on 08/11/2010

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LOL welcome to the world of boys HAHA i have four aged 10,nearly 8, nearly 6 and 2...I would suggest it is partially a phase - Mr 2 understands sharing to be "if i had it first, its mine, if you had it first and I want it, its mine even if i wasnt intrested in it til you picked it up"....I'll bet that even if your 4 year old does this, he is old enough to share!!
My advice is to continue to sepaerate with a time out for fighting (and trust me it can get more physical as they get older so set the rules early!!!) other than that all i can suggest is to monitor the games and make the snatcher give back the toy - your 2yr old will have a super hard time with this for a while, but he'll learn quickly thats the rule!

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