Single mom of 3 and need advice about the bio-dad.

Heather - posted on 01/12/2011

I totally agree that you should go for full custody. Grandparents do not have any rights where i am! However, when it comes to it set the boundaries, even if you have to set it to certain days for certain amount of times.

Ariel - posted on 01/12/2011

Depending on what state you are in it is important that you seek legal action and the reason I say this is because I have 3 kids by a man who did the exact same thing and by law he has every right to come and take the kids without your permission. I live in Texas and am in my third year of law and the state clearly says that if you have a fear of a person you have the right to request a protection order and as far as his mother goes you need to set some boundaries and let her know that you have a life and she needs to respect that. Child support.... they are his kids he has the legal responsibility to take care of those kids and if he is not willing to do it on his own then filing for child support is the best way to go. Don’t be afraid, I know that sounds like a cliché but someone can only hurt you if you allow them to and your kids don’t need to see that. Stand up for yourself. You will be surprised how much power you have.

Lindsey - posted on 01/11/2011

Thank you Aimee, yes it helped.

Aimee - posted on 01/11/2011

i went through violent relationship 4 7 years and i split with him 4 years ago and hes not seen his hids once so i am goin through court at the moment for full custody of them. u tell your ex motherin law this is my house u can not just turn up when u feel like it i have plans to do not be scared of your ex if he gets on the phone then tell him u havent seen your kids or wanted to do anythin for them for how long u have to show u not scared of him any more and they will stop tryin to butt into your life i had to do the same with my exs family and they did the same when i told them they left me alone when i met someone else my kids luved him and called him dad and my ex told the social services and court that he never wants to see them again and never have hop that helped good luck

Lindsey - posted on 01/10/2011

Thank you all, but my kids father has never paid anything to help me support my 3 kids. Since my oldest daughter was born almost 7 years ago, their bio-dad has not bought anything for them or supported them in any way. He finally got another girl pregnant and left me to be with her. I will check on the laws here and go from there. Thank you Jessica and Jennifer.

Brittanie - posted on 01/10/2011

Well I am in Canada so it may be slightly different here.

Jessica - posted on 01/10/2011

My oldest child's father hasn't seen or contacted him in over 3 years. About 2 years ago my now husband brought up the topic of him adopting him. So we went to see a lawyer and i was told if a parent doesn't contact, support financial or emotional for 6 months the custodial parents has grounds to have the other parents right terminated on grounds of abandonment. Which is what I did. In most states the time frame is only 6 months, not 2 years. Now keep in mind that the father can contest the abandonment charges if he really wants to but he also has to provide proof that he contacted and supported that child during the time. Look at the laws in your state then you can always contact a family law lawyer that offers free consultations.

Medic - posted on 01/10/2011

You can go through the courts and get full custody, atleast here in Texas you could. As far as his mom goes, she really has no rights to begin with. Lay down your rules....ie call first, only stay for a certain amount of time....so on and so on. If you are scared call the police and tell them whats going on.

Lindsey - posted on 01/10/2011

Thank you Brittanie!

Brittanie - posted on 01/10/2011

I don't believe you can strip him of his rights due to abandonment unless you have had no contact or child support for 1-2 years. But, I would see a lawyer and try to get something into the court giving you full custody just so that if he were to show up one day he can;t just waltz back in to the kids lives without going through a gradual process. Good luck with you situation! We have a blended family and I know how stressful lawyers and court orders can get!