Natasha - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 110 moms have responded )
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So me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2 years. We have a 7 month old daughter and have lived together for 2 1/2 years. When i was pregnant I was on Ucare insurance. Today my boyfriend called to tell me he got served with child support papers. We live together for christ sakes. Just wondering if anyone else has ever had this problem.
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Brenda - posted on 11/05/2009
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Quoting Nicole:
This kind of stuff is so unbelievable to me.. I live in Canada I dont have to pay for anything medical other than prescriptions. I am completely awed when it comes to hearing about this. I don't understand why in this society & a country like the USA you guys cant have that same luxury. Since I am clueless when it comes to this - how much do you guys have to pay for something like this if u dont have insurance?
Bekki - posted on 10/26/2009
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Quoting Natasha:
Yeah I dunno i have listed our addresses as the same thing on all of the papers. So i dont know what is going on
Little personal question but are you on state assistance?
I am .. and had that same thing happened but my difference was that i am MARRIED to my childs father..
There was a problem with paperwork when the state assistance switched over to a new company most places automatically started printing crap like that out that had no real basis and didn't actually mean anything. Call the case worker
Melissa - posted on 10/24/2009
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I went through a simular situation we just had to make sure the insurance company, DCF, and Child support enforcement all knew that we were living together. (I know it is a pain!)
Jasara - posted on 10/24/2009
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in tx if you file for medicaid and are not married, most of the time the state files for the father to pay for child support and help with medical. as far as child support goes well im sure where you live you can go to your attorney general's office and tell them that you are living together and that child support is not needed
Cheri - posted on 10/23/2009
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I never had that happen to me but I know people it has happened to. They are allowed to make him pay child support even though you live together because your not married. I know its pretty stupid! The only thing I can think of is maybe take his tax forms in to prove that he supports your child. Other than that, I would just suggest he has them take it out of his check...its gonna come right back to you anyways...
Jackie - posted on 10/23/2009
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Quoting Holly:
If you did not fill out papers for child support then he should not be receiving any... This is going to sound insensitive, but are you sure it's for YOUR child? You might want to double check the papers and make sure someone's not trying to claim your boyfriend fathered a child with them... I am just saying this because, in my experience, child support is something that is requested specifically. Also, you may want to make sure someone (ie family members who may not like your bf...) did not file them "on your behalf" because they feel you "need" support... I've seen that happen and it was a mess...
If it is for your daughter, then you need to call the child support agency in your state (it varies from state to state) and set them straight. Filling out form after form after form will do nothing, a call or a visit in person will do the most good toward getting the situation resolved. Or, if you don't want to deal with all that, you can go to court (there should be a hearing date or something in the papers he was served with) and tell them that no one requested support and it is not needed. Plain and simple.
Another thing you might want to check on is to make sure it's not a scam to get your boyfriend's information. A new scam I heard about is serving someone with false papers (it can be for anything) and then saying "to respond, please fill this out and return it" and then it asks for all kinds of personal info (ie social security number, full name, credit card number(s) to set up payments, etc.). You guys may want to contact someone on the family court system to make sure it is in fact a legit paper.
I hope this helped, and I am sorry if you were offended by the first part, but I know that someone has to file papers to have someone else served, so it being for your child just didn't make sense... Good luck!
Well said! I think you covered it all. I totally agree with the scam idea. Thats sounds like what it is to me!
Chelsea - posted on 10/23/2009
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My guess is Ucare is Medicaid and when you filled out the papers you did not include his information. That being said they are going after him for the hospital and doctor bills not child support. I would call them and let them know you two are living together
Magaly - posted on 10/21/2009
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i would call them up and tell them that u two live together. if u have proof its good if u show them as well.. Im not sure what ucare is but i do know that if u have a child in texas and u are not married and on medicade that they will find the guy and serve him with child support orders... but if he has proof that he supports u guys then things should get cleared up..
Ashley - posted on 10/21/2009
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if the goverment pays for the birth then they try to get the money from the father it's happen to a few people i know if you get any goverment help they can get money from him wether he lives with you or not
Cassie - posted on 10/21/2009
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This happened to me last year too!! The government tried to make my boyfriend(who is now my husband) pay child support on our kids. When I asked why and how come they said it was because we werent married. They then informed me that they (the govt) were going to tax the chld support $. They can not do this. I had to consult a lawyer, and my advise to you would be to do the same! Its just a way to tax you guys! Dont let it scare you!
Amanda - posted on 10/21/2009
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I haven't had this problem but in most states if you're on government assistance of any kind, they go after the father for some kind of cash. You should call the case worker and explain that you both take care of the child and live together. I mostly hear of this happening when the mother is on welfare but not just medical.
PATCHEN - posted on 10/21/2009
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yep i did! because you are not married they dont recognize the relationship my kids are 5 and 8 and i had lived with their dad for 9 years, the state collected on his wages even though we lived together because i got foodstamps....it sucks...its wrong...good luck
Charlena - posted on 10/21/2009
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They may not be aware that you two are still living together. When I was put on food stamps, they wanted to serve my ex for c.support, even though he already paid it just not through the state.
Nicole - posted on 10/20/2009
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I did have those problems with my girls when they were first born because I applied to put my kids on State insurance... I went to the court date with him and refused the child support but he did have to pay the state so much a month to compensate for the coverage... once coverage was stopped so did the support payments... have him call the number they put on the papers an ask for details, they may be just looking for compensation for the insurance.
Sarah - posted on 10/20/2009
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Some states do serve papers as kind of like a reinbursement when a couple isn't married. I think all you would have to do is contact the office and let them know that you were and are still together.
Meghan - posted on 10/20/2009
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Quoting Sky:
Quoting Nicole:
This kind of stuff is so unbelievable to me.. I live in Canada I dont have to pay for anything medical other than prescriptions. I am completely awed when it comes to hearing about this. I don't understand why in this society & a country like the USA you guys cant have that same luxury. Since I am clueless when it comes to this - how much do you guys have to pay for something like this if u dont have insurance?
I know! I have family in canada and I should mover there. I had to have a c-section. If I didn't have medicaid it would have cost my atleast $10,000... and thats JUST for the surgery not for the medicine or hospital stay.
Oh my gosh!! thats incrediable,
im in new zealand, i had a c-section FREE , my childs doctor apptments, jabs, and a&e are FREE
and prescriptions cost maybe $1 max but generally free. i Am sitting hear stunned at the amount you have to pay :s
Natasha i hope you got it all sorted out :) best of luck.
Amelia - posted on 10/20/2009
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In most states if you are not married Social Services will make you go thru Child Support Enforcement to secure support for the child. I suppose this is because there are no legal ties between you and your boyfriend apart from the baby's birth certificate and they figure there's nothing to stop him from just walking out and leaving you and your kid high and dry. Not to say he would ever do that, but they make the rules because not everyone makes the committment to be a family with their kids, married or not.
Taylor - posted on 10/20/2009
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I dont know where you live but i know in New York that the state trys not to pay for anything if you need assistance and will try the father first. When I had my son they tried to do that with my son and my finace. I ended up getting ride of the assisatnce and got my own health insurace policy to avoid the headache.
Skylar - posted on 10/20/2009
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WOW I have never heard of the father getting on child support without the mother going through the process. Did you try to see if it was something with the insurance company that caused this?
Erika - posted on 10/19/2009
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Quoting Stephanie:
Quoting Heather:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Nicole:
This kind of stuff is so unbelievable to me.. I live in Canada I dont have to pay for anything medical other than prescriptions. I am completely awed when it comes to hearing about this. I don't understand why in this society & a country like the USA you guys cant have that same luxury. Since I am clueless when it comes to this - how much do you guys have to pay for something like this if u dont have insurance?
I just had twins by c-section, and even though I have a GOOD insurance plan, still had to pay over $600 to my doctor for the surgery, and over $1000 for the hospital. Insurance as it stands in this country is bunk.
yeah no kidding, I was happy when I got laid off because i could get the medical card. Otherwise my bills were over 30 grand for delivery and crap...my pelvis seaparated so i had to stay longer. It was get laid off or be broke forever.....i think i was the only person praying to be laid off. its horrible how much things cost.
Yeah, my c-section and hospital charges were over $30,000. Luckily I had good insurance and didn't have to pay anything outside of that, but it was insane. I never realized the expense of child birth until I recieved that bill! I kept it so my daughter could see how expensive her little butt was!!! lol However, I'm sure hers will trump mine 10-fold in the future!! lol
for all my prenatal care and delivery for a "low risk" (no complications) the total was about $20,000!i couldnt imagine what i would have done without my wonderful insurance that covered almost everything!
Erika - posted on 10/19/2009
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if you recieve any type of state funding/programs(food stamps,welfare,free health care ect) they will file child support against the babies father if you are not married even if you live together and if you are married when you get off the programs you do need to make smal payments back to what they have given you cuz truely nothing in life is free!but you should have been informed of this when you enrolled in this what im guessing state incurance.i live in nh and when i went to file for health care coverage and food stamps they gave me a paper to sign saying they would be going after the father for repayment and i told them never mind i was doing it cuz we're together work and still sturgle.but i would deff make some phone calls and try to get some answer from where the papers got sent from!good luck
Kim - posted on 10/19/2009
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I had this same problem. I just called the case worker and told them that we lived together.
Rachael - posted on 10/19/2009
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Umm you may want to check into common Law in your state. you may be able to end this if you've been together for that long then.. you maybe able to claim common law marriage
Amanda - posted on 10/19/2009
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I think if you go to the court date and prove that he is living in the house and supporting you guys completly they will drop it.
Nerissa - posted on 10/19/2009
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yes we had that prob also and the cop that gave them the pappers was a family friend and we had to call about 30 diff ppl to get it fixed.. good luck
Samantha - posted on 10/19/2009
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It's manditory. My fiance is going to get the same thing soon. We have even talked to the social services people and they said that they will do it unless we get married. It is a sort of safety net for us moms. Just in case the dad leaves or if he withholds money for you to get diapers and stuff. Some guys are like that and they just want to make sure the child is being financially supported by both parents. But for people like us, it just slows down the process of receiving the money. We should only receive child support from the father if we apply for it. They are really just wasting tax payer money. Obviously, if my fiance left me, I would apply for child support myself w/out needing social services to make it manditory when he is LIVING with me.
Amie - posted on 10/19/2009
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I did! They told me I would lose any services that I was getting if I didn't cooperate with them
Sarah - posted on 10/19/2009
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The only way they can make him pay chil support is if ur getting any welfare or help from the state and he isnt on ur case. If thats true there isnt anything u can do
Stephanie - posted on 10/19/2009
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Quoting Heather:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Nicole:
This kind of stuff is so unbelievable to me.. I live in Canada I dont have to pay for anything medical other than prescriptions. I am completely awed when it comes to hearing about this. I don't understand why in this society & a country like the USA you guys cant have that same luxury. Since I am clueless when it comes to this - how much do you guys have to pay for something like this if u dont have insurance?
I just had twins by c-section, and even though I have a GOOD insurance plan, still had to pay over $600 to my doctor for the surgery, and over $1000 for the hospital. Insurance as it stands in this country is bunk.
yeah no kidding, I was happy when I got laid off because i could get the medical card. Otherwise my bills were over 30 grand for delivery and crap...my pelvis seaparated so i had to stay longer. It was get laid off or be broke forever.....i think i was the only person praying to be laid off. its horrible how much things cost.
Yeah, my c-section and hospital charges were over $30,000. Luckily I had good insurance and didn't have to pay anything outside of that, but it was insane. I never realized the expense of child birth until I recieved that bill! I kept it so my daughter could see how expensive her little butt was!!! lol However, I'm sure hers will trump mine 10-fold in the future!! lol
Stephanie - posted on 10/19/2009
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Before assuming how the court system is through others posts, you need to keep in mind that each state is different! So, some of these posts may or may not apply to your situation. I would just call or go to the office and find out. I don't want to say what they do or don't do because I am not sure about the state you live in and how they handle things.
I do know that in some states they mandate a parent to pay child support if the other parent is getting living assistance or other services on behalf of the child.
Tiffany - posted on 10/19/2009
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i know for some programs out there they require you to file for child support. Ucare might be one of those but by no means do you have to collect. you should have the file in reserve mode. I did this.
Natasha - posted on 10/19/2009
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I would like to thank you all for ur respones. I have figured it out and it boils down to we have to pay half her medical a month.
Meghan - posted on 10/19/2009
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I had to go through the same thing. They told me when I went for my review for services that since we were living together my boyfriend would not have to pay support but I had to let them know first. Just let your worker know and you should be fine.
Mary - posted on 10/18/2009
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Wow, that's crazy. Usually it's the mother who files for child support. I would definitely call and talk to someone about that. Obviously, if you two live together he is supporting her.
Gynessa - posted on 10/18/2009
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here where the mother wants to get Medicaid when her time is up after having the baby , it part of there process to go after the father for child support. Even if the parents live together , or are any type of relationship, that how they off set the cost of medicaid. they figure someone has to pay for it.
Heather - posted on 10/18/2009
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Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Nicole:
This kind of stuff is so unbelievable to me.. I live in Canada I dont have to pay for anything medical other than prescriptions. I am completely awed when it comes to hearing about this. I don't understand why in this society & a country like the USA you guys cant have that same luxury. Since I am clueless when it comes to this - how much do you guys have to pay for something like this if u dont have insurance?
I just had twins by c-section, and even though I have a GOOD insurance plan, still had to pay over $600 to my doctor for the surgery, and over $1000 for the hospital. Insurance as it stands in this country is bunk.
yeah no kidding, I was happy when I got laid off because i could get the medical card. Otherwise my bills were over 30 grand for delivery and crap...my pelvis seaparated so i had to stay longer. It was get laid off or be broke forever.....i think i was the only person praying to be laid off. its horrible how much things cost.
Heather - posted on 10/18/2009
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Quoting kristy:
me and my bf are trying to figure out why he's being forced to pay child support but the law isnt forcing the childs mother to allow him to see his son. the whole system is messed up and a joke!
thats because child support and visitation are totally different. If he is a good father and is safe to be around the child then he should file for rights to get to see the child and become a father figure. Some fathers are horrible but they should still have to pay becuase they helped make that baby. It just wouldnt make sense for them to get to beat their kids because they help pay for them. Basically, if he wants rights to be with his child, he has to go get them, they will not just be handed to him. It also shows how much he really wants his child if he actively tries to get visitation.
Heather - posted on 10/18/2009
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I dont know where you live and what your states rules are but in Ohio where i live, if you get help with insurance....like i did....they automatically start child support for you, no matter where the guy lives or if you even want it. And if you dont tell them who the father is, you dont get insurance help anymore. So, worse comes to worse.....have him pay child support and then give the money back to him or whatever you guys decide. That will probably be the easiest way. Some places dont care if the guy lives with you or not, they just want to make sure he is paying his share. Some guys dont help out with the baby and they dont help out with bills and the mom gotta handle it all by herself. Hopefully you can get this straightened out.
Allie - posted on 10/18/2009
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What veronica said is very accurate to the best of my knowledge anyway, in MN that is the case and I think its that way because you're at a "dating" status and that could change without anything legal in place and then you very well might get screwed taking care of the child by yourself and the state wants to make sure that you're taking all the right steps to protect yourself and your child so that you don't have to rely on them to do what the Child Support would be handling. Does this make sense? Most of what i've said is just what sounds logical and what i've gotten out of the bits and pieces of information from people that have had to deal with this, so don't quote me, but what the state is doing isn't meant to anger you, I believe its intended to help, I would hope.
Veronica - posted on 10/18/2009
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Is Ucare a medicaid insurance (a state insurance)? In Ohio where I live, if you apply for medicaid and have a child and are not married to the other parent, social services automatically files for child support. My husband's exwife got served with papers when we were recieving medicaid for my step son. Also my friend who lives with the father of her baby, was told that if she didn't file for support from him then they would not give her son medicaid benefits.
Sarah - posted on 10/18/2009
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My ex and I had a similar problem. They told us that because we weren't married and had kids, they were doing it to insure that we weren't trying to milk the system. All we had to do was provide statements saying that we did indeed live together and then provide proof of income. My best advice is to talk it out with social services and do everything exactly how they want you to.
Sarah - posted on 10/18/2009
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oh and when i applied in the first place my worker asked if I needed help seeking child support and I told her that we have an amicable relationship and everything is paid for 50/50 and she was ok with that and just had me and my daughter's father each write a letter saying that.
Sarah - posted on 10/18/2009
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have you listed his income?
i live in connecticut and im on the state insurance but my daughter's father and i do not live together so i am not required to list his income but if we did live together i would have to. he told me a couple months ago that his boss has received mail from the state listing my name as the subject asking for his income information and if they offer health insurance to employees.
Brandy - posted on 10/18/2009
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No , you do not have to file for child support. If you use food stamps, Government health insurance or any kind of puplic assistance they can file a petition for child support. You can call them though and take care of it, or you can just get it and give him the money back. But If you are on any public assistance, they have the right to do that, if your not married. But usually they dont if your living together and supplying bills and rent together. Sometimes if they know he is not making income, they do it also.
Tiffany - posted on 10/18/2009
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What state do you live in? Sometimes the state will go after the father because they get some of the money. I have had the state of missouri pursue my ex for child support just long enough to get their money and not even try to get me mine. So in my case I actually need it and can't get it. Call your case workers supervisor and tell them you didn't apply for child support. Maybe they will focus their energy on those who do need it. lol
Jennifer - posted on 10/18/2009
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yes they have to go after him becuase he is did not help pay for the baby being born i know that is what the services are for. i know you too are living together but they dont care they want there money and and they take a percentage when they take the child support out of him if you were to get married they would have to stop that. but i am not saying get married. you can call and talk to the services and tell them that he is supporting his kid and we live together so please stop the actions you are taking. or when you go to court tell the judge.
Kayla - posted on 10/18/2009
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yes that actually just happened with me and my boyfriend, he just has to call them and with my boyfriend they told him just to keep receipts when he buys her stuff and send them in
Michele - posted on 10/17/2009
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If you are any kind of assistance the state will go after him for the money. I was very young when I had my first child and I was all for child support. However very rairly got it. my son is now 13 and we don't need it, in fact my husband adopted him and low and behold I started getting child support for him again. Back child support. I took the money back to him because we no longer needed it and he did. I waved over $33,000 in back child support but the state still went after him for the medical services my son received. That is most likely what is happening. If you are considering getting married there would probably be some very real financial advantages to doing so now.
Jennifer - posted on 10/17/2009
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I agree that the father be reported to Division of Child Sopport if he doesn't pay child support or he doesn't supply medical insurance. But it doesn't make since to me that they report a father who lives in the home and is supporting his children. Sometimes people just need a little help. I also think that it often pertains to unmarried couples who live together. I have 2 children from a previous relationship. I have 1 cjild with my "live-in boyfriend". I ran into the same kind of problem when i requested financial assistance for my 2 kids. They wanted to report my boyfriend because we have a child together and we all live together. Along with my x. Its complicated but I did get the assistance in the end. So I was grateful for that. The system just needs a little tweeking. Families have changed. People don't marry anymore.
Heather - posted on 10/17/2009
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They did that with us here in OHio too. But we went to our "meeting" with the CSEA and told them that he was paying me private support and helping with my bills and they backed off.
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